Forced Baptism Problem - Help!

[sugarmouse]

Aren’t forced baptisms automatically invalid anyway? Even if they literally dragged you into the church and dunked you under the water, that wouldn’t be a valid baptism. You’d still be able to go on to be baptised in the Catholic Church.

Also, can’t you do exactly that - tell them that if they try to force you, then you will scream to the whole congregation “I don’t want this, they are baptising me against my will” etc.? Are they still going to insist upon it?

And finally, if they say to you, “We insist you will be baptised, and we are going to physically restrain you and take you to the church”, then that is abduction. They are forcing you to go somewhere against your will, which since you are an adult they have no right to do - and you should call the police, and tell them your parents are planning to take you to a place against your will.

I don’t think they’d really drag you to church, though. All you have to do is keep telling them no, you don’t want to be baptised, and make plans to leave their house (if this is a problem because of your disability, it would be good to contact someone in authority and get help and advice on how to do this)

 

[Techno2000]

Aren’t forced baptisms automatically invalid anyway? Even if they literally dragged you into the church and dunked you under the water, that wouldn’t be a valid baptism. You’d still be able to go on to be baptised in the Catholic Church.

Also, can’t you do exactly that - tell them that if they try to force you, then you will scream to the whole congregation “I don’t want this, they are baptising me against my will” etc.? Are they still going to insist upon it?

And finally, if they say to you, “We insist you will be baptised, and we are going to physically restrain you and take you to the church”, then that is abduction. They are forcing you to go somewhere against your will, which since you are an adult they have no right to do - and you should call the police, and tell them your parents are planning to take you to a place against your will.

I don’t think they’d really drag you to church, though. All you have to do is keep telling them no, you don’t want to be baptised, and make plans to leave their house (if this is a problem because of your disability, it would be good to contact someone in authority and get help and advice on how to do this)

If she complains they will say she is possessed by the Devil, and do a exorcism on her.

 

[rcwitness]

You stated you are 25 years old and your parents do not let you have free will to do anything on your own or make decisions for yourself. Do you have a job? Are you able to support yourself? Is there a reason you cannot move out & live on your own? There appears to be much more going on in your family dynamics that need to be addressed. Perhaps some professional support may be in order.

Yes, I agree. This is extreme controlling going on!

What about contacting your local Catholic Parish Pastor? Explain what is going on. That you want to learn about the Catholic faith, and your parents are attempting to force this Baptism on you!

Please pray, above all things!!! Try not to be anxious. Be strong in what you know is from Jesus! He will speak to your heart.

Also, ensure your parents that you are not opposed to Christian Baptism, but you are discerning some things and wish for them to respect your space and time.

 

[adamhovey1988]

Does this church teach Believers baptism? If so how is it that you can be forced to be baptized?

 

[rcwitness]

Fundamentalist are against infant Baptism because they say one must choose to be Baptized through ones own free will.

Which the Catholic faith also believes, for those who have reached the age of reason,and has heard the Gospel message in a manner that provided understanding (age appropriate).

The problem of a plethora of contradicting Christian leaders, is that Catholic Teaching becomes more and more uncertain. It is not absent in valid Christian communities, but it is mixed in with personal opinions. But it can also be like this in actual Catholic Parishes! So we all need to pray and rely on His Holy Spirit to give us understanding, while growing in knowledge of Scripture and Church Teaching.

 

[macstar]

A social worker may be able to help you- to get resources such as life skills, a therapist, classes, transportation, etc. Your state social services department can point you in the right direction; the police department would also be able to put you in touch with one. Given your disability, you have many more rights and access to free services than you may be aware of.

 

[tawny]

A social worker may be able to help you- to get resources such as life skills, a therapist, classes, transportation, etc. Your state social services department can point you in the right direction; the police department would also be able to put you in touch with one. Given your disability, you have many more rights and access to free services than you may be aware of.

Agree. You appear to be able to communicate very well in writing ability. You need to seek the use of resources available to you. Please seek the professional services that you need.

 

[Lorenz_Michael]

The issues addressed here are deep and at times controversial. Bringing to light the some of the issues facing African American catholics was recently touched upon in this article thecatholicmoment.org/archive/2017/02-26/black-and-catholic.html
I pray for all of our brothers and sisters facing such difficulties that they have a warm and compassionate welcome in to the church with God’s aid.

Peace+
michaEl?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

You are 25, have been to college, can communicate effectively, and your life is still controlled by your parents as if you were an infant? You must realize that this is seriously disordered. Can you find a social worker to talk to? Contact a local Catholic priest?

 

[dancer7777]

I do not know anyone at the Archdiocese of Washington that I should contact. It has not been easy since I was a child and onward living with my parents. I have had them to me. “You cannot do anything right. You can’t do anything. You are this, or you are that?” And, other names." They have judged me on employment opportunities in the field of broadcast journalism where they simply do not fully understand that I have to start my career in a small city/small market. They just said to me: “you can’t take care of yourself.” They have never accepted my learning disability or my brother having autism.

Yes, I agree. This is extreme controlling going on!

What about contacting your local Catholic Parish Pastor? Explain what is going on. That you want to learn about the Catholic faith, and your parents are attempting to force this Baptism on you!

Please pray, above all things!!! Try not to be anxious. Be strong in what you know is from Jesus! He will speak to your heart.

Also, ensure your parents that you are not opposed to Christian Baptism, but you are discerning some things and wish for them to respect your space and time.

 

[dancer7777]

What would happen if you told them you would not go? You would not walk out of the house, you would not get in the car, etc?

This would absolutely NOT be a matter of dishonoring your parents (4th commandment: Honor thy father and mother); because once a child is an adult, he or she is allowed to make certain decisions against the will of the parents, for example, in matters of one’s work, marriage, and *religion. *

What resources do you have? You say you are disabled, but want to drive, so your disability doesn’t cause a probelm driving. Can you drive? Do you have access to a car?

**** I am learning how to drive. Here are the problems I am facing: **** I am also in the process of obtaining a driver’s license. My parents didn’t tell me truth about the driving process. They told me a falsehood that “driving is easy. Driving is a piece of cake. Driving is easy as 1-2-3.” Majority of individuals on Catholic Answers, mentors, others and even a disability documentary program airing in United Kingdom titled “I’m Different: Let Me Drive” have told me the honest truth about driving have passed my written test, taken the driver’s ed classes, but having trouble completing the 14 hours for the state of Maryland as my parents are not being patient with the driving, have put it off due to their own obligations, and have not help me in buying a starter learning car for me to practice driving. I had problems with operating a mid-size vehicle because the steering wheel was too heavy. I told my parents about it and that I want a compact/subcompact (one that is practical, reasonable, and affordable), but they refused to get me one or to help me. They kept yelling at me during the driving lessons and intimidating me and comparing me to other individuals who can drive- even those with physical disabilities. The last thing they said to me was “you are unteachable” . I need help as an individual with a learning disability. It has been really difficult.

What about your brother with autism? Is he an adult yet? Would he be willing to join you in refusing to be baptised?
** My brother is an adult with autism and is over the age of 18. He is in day program for individuals with developmental disabilities. This day program will later transition into a resource center to help individuals with disabilities to find employment opportunities within the community and work alongside individuals without disabilities. This will occurred between 2018-2020 as all sheltered workshops across the USA are being phased out and transitioning to this process of helping the developed disablied find jobs. My brother has stated that he does not want to be baptised and does not want to attend church on a weekday basis. But my parents use the statements such as,“I will call the police on you” or “you will go to jail” or “I will throw out of the house” and other statements to threaten him. They also called him names as well and sometimes hit him which he will say “stop hitting me.” My brother knows he has a disability and has told my family, "I have a disability. Don’t You Know? My parents do not acknowledge his statement. **

Do you have friends or relatives who would help you, or even let you stay with them while you got organized to be on your own?

** I do not have any friends or relatives. All my relatives are in Africa and they do not really care about me and my brother. They only ask for money. I do not have any friends.**

Are there places for people with your disability to go, or who would help you relocate?

** I do not know. **

 

[St_Francis]

** I do not know. **

Wow, I am so sorry this has been so difficult for you.

Anyway, this is a link to Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington DC: Catholic Charities link. They have programs to help people with all sorts of different needs, as you will see on their page. They cover DC and PG County, which is where your parent’s denominational meeting place is located; I am assuming you are in one or the other place.

Driving can be very difficult; there are a lot of things you have to pay attention to all at once. It *does *get easier as you get used to it, but you do have to drive in order to get used to it!

 

[dancer7777]

I spoke to a mentor of mine who is a practicing Catholic is looking up resources and information for me. This forced baptism could be my parents’ way of attempting washing out/curing/removing/healing disability and an attempt to get me to speak in tounges which are all gibberish/rubbish to me.

Wow, I am so sorry this has been so difficult for you.

Anyway, this is a link to Catholic Charities of the Archdiocese of Washington DC: Catholic Charities link. They have programs to help people with all sorts of different needs, as you will see on their page. They cover DC and PG County, which is where your parent’s denominational meeting place is located; I am assuming you are in one or the other place.

Driving can be very difficult; there are a lot of things you have to pay attention to all at once. It *does *get easier as you get used to it, but you do have to drive in order to get used to it!

 

[rcwitness]

I do not know anyone at the Archdiocese of Washington that I should contact. It has not been easy since I was a child and onward living with my parents. I have had them to me. “You cannot do anything right. You can’t do anything. You are this, or you are that?” And, other names." They have judged me on employment opportunities in the field of broadcast journalism where they simply do not fully understand that I have to start my career in a small city/small market. They just said to me: “you can’t take care of yourself.” They have never accepted my learning disability or my brother having autism.

What is your leaning disability?

They seem very afraid that you may experience some failure. But sometimes that is a natural part of life. No one never makes mistakes, especially honest mistakes.

I certainly don’t want you to rebel against your parents true honor. They have a God given place in your life. But they also don’t have every right! God has His place above all others. And He would not have you dishonor them. So when you know that God is leading you to do something, you can do it while honoring them too!

For example: When they say “You must be Baptized, because Jesus commands it.” You can accept their genuine faith, and say “Yes”

But you can also choose which Church you wish to receive Baptism and Communion from. This is where your God given conscience will direct you. And you can take the time that you need to decide.

But don’t argue and debate. Let it be very simple, without getting upset. Do not be worried about threats. God has guidance where they have no power.

Show them that you are offering peace, because you have peace! Make no threats, and be wise!

 

[dancer7777]

My learning disability is Non-Verbal Learning Disorder.

What is your leaning disability?

They seem very afraid that you may experience some failure. But sometimes that is a natural part of life. No one never makes mistakes, especially honest mistakes.

I certainly don’t want you to rebel against your parents true honor. They have a God given place in your life. But they also don’t have every right! God has His place above all others. And He would not have you dishonor them. So when you know that God is leading you to do something, you can do it while honoring them too!

For example: When they say “You must be Baptized, because Jesus commands it.” You can accept their genuine faith, and say “Yes”

But you can also choose which Church you wish to receive Baptism and Communion from. This is where your God given conscience will direct you. And you can take the time that you need to decide.

But don’t argue and debate. Let it be very simple, without getting upset. Do not be worried about threats. God has guidance where they have no power.

Show them that you are offering peace, because you have peace! Make no threats, and be wise!

 

[Horton]

I spoke to a mentor of mine who is a practicing Catholic is looking up resources and information for me. This forced baptism could be my parents’ way of attempting washing out/curing/removing/healing disability and an attempt to get me to speak in tounges which are all gibberish/rubbish to me.

I would work with your mentor about resources available or check in with the Catholic Charities link. Do you live in an area where there is public transportation? If so maybe you don’t need a driver’s license right away. I can’t imagine you would need hours with your parents in the car supervising you at age 25. That is generally for teens, rightfully so, but shouldn’t be adults.

But please do these things and let us know how it turns out for you. I agree with the others as far as resisting the forced baptism.

 

[dancer7777]

I do have access to public transportation, but some buses do not serve in my area. And, public subway is undergoing a series of repairs that change the hours of operation for upcoming months of 2017 and the next two years.

I do want get my license for the practical and reasonable reasons everyone has. The state of Maryland gives adults over 25 to obtain 14 driving hours to obtain as long as the individual does not have driving violation and hold their permit for 45 days to take the road test (if the individual has committed a driving violation, then MVA will make you wait for 9 months for the road test). It is really difficult with the family who are making the practices hard for me with the constant yelling/mean statements, etc. And, refusing to allow me to learn how to drive in a smaller car which I want something practical to learn for several years so I can grow with car/skills and the car/skills can grow with me before moving to a bigger vehicle. Many people have suggested to me several compact/subcompact cars good for individuals learning to drive so that I see the car in-person and see whether or not if the car is the right fit and feel for me. I am not really getting assistance from them. They keep asking me for change/wise up, I wonder if they are going to change.

I would work with your mentor about resources available or check in with the Catholic Charities link. Do you live in an area where there is public transportation? If so maybe you don’t need a driver’s license right away. I can’t imagine you would need hours with your parents in the car supervising you at age 25. That is generally for teens, rightfully so, but shouldn’t be adults.

But please do these things and let us know how it turns out for you. I agree with the others as far as resisting the forced baptism.

 

[PJM]

Hello All. I have been learning and growing with the Roman Catholic Church for nearly 4-7 years since high school. I am having a problem and would like your help or advice. My family are Protestant/Pentecostal (Prosperity Gospel), and they are forcing me against by free will to get baptise in their church and in their religion. So, there is no way getting out of it. I made a promise several years ago that I will one day go through the Rite of Christian Initation for Adults (RCIA) and and join the Catholic Church family. I have received wisdom from the Catholic teachings, EWTN/Mother Angelica that spoke to several life situations I was facing, especially accepting and embracing having a learning disability. Mother Angelica’s Live had a program regarding disability that spoke to me. Unfortunately, my parents doesn’t support my decision to become Catholic. They won’t let me attend Mass nor any Catholic event or watch/read anything Catholic. They do not even acknowledge my disability saying “it is from the devil and is a part of witchcraft and occultism, and is a curse”. They also say this to my brother who has autism. They just want us to be permanently healed of disability. I watch the National Shrine TV Mass every Sunday morning in another room before going to the parents’ church. I also read Catholic literature on my own time. I am not comfortable being baptise in a different faith because I made a promise to myself to join the Catholic Church. The timing isn’t right (parents are forcing me to be baptise within the second week of March 2017). What should I do? I am 25 years of age and a female. My parents do not give free will to do anything or me to make own decisions. They force me every morning to attend their church which is titled “Winner’s Chapel International” which an all-African church and I never felt I truly belonged there. I always felt during my time in high school, catholic, and being a part of the college’s catholic club that I belong with the Catholic Church.

YOUR"S is a troubling situation, BUT don’t stress about it.

The RCC ACCEPTS all other Christian Baptisms so long as they are done with WATER and in the Names of the Faher, the Son & and the Holy Spirit.

Such are VALID!

If the Baptism is NOT done with water in this form it is invalid and CAN be repeated in the RCC.

So just go-along to Get-along here.

When you are able, then talk to the Pastor at your RCC and attend RCIA, which CAN include Baptism IF it is necessary and not already VALIDLY done:thumbsup:

PRAY much and keep studying, don’t look for “trouble”…God READS your heart!

God Bless you

Patrick [PJM] here on CAF

 

[MSSheBear]

When your parents hit your brother it is an assault and a crime. You sound like you are being abused verbally. Do not go to church with your parents. How about calling adult protective services at least for your brother?

Also your parents want you dependent on them so don’t expect them to help you learn to drive or buy you a car. A small car with an automatic transmissions is the easiest to learn to drive and for a lot of us it isn’t that difficult to learn to drive but it isn’t for everyone. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[HelenRose]

Hello All. I have been learning and growing with the Roman Catholic Church for nearly 4-7 years since high school. I am having a problem and would like your help or advice. My family are Protestant/Pentecostal (Prosperity Gospel), and they are forcing me against by free will to get baptise in their church and in their religion. So, there is no way getting out of it. I made a promise several years ago that I will one day go through the Rite of Christian Initation for Adults (RCIA) and and join the Catholic Church family. I have received wisdom from the Catholic teachings, EWTN/Mother Angelica that spoke to several life situations I was facing, especially accepting and embracing having a learning disability. Mother Angelica’s Live had a program regarding disability that spoke to me. Unfortunately, my parents doesn’t support my decision to become Catholic. They won’t let me attend Mass nor any Catholic event or watch/read anything Catholic. They do not even acknowledge my disability saying “it is from the devil and is a part of witchcraft and occultism, and is a curse”. They also say this to my brother who has autism. They just want us to be permanently healed of disability. I watch the National Shrine TV Mass every Sunday morning in another room before going to the parents’ church. I also read Catholic literature on my own time. I am not comfortable being baptise in a different faith because I made a promise to myself to join the Catholic Church. The timing isn’t right (parents are forcing me to be baptise within the second week of March 2017). What should I do? I am 25 years of age and a female. My parents do not give free will to do anything or me to make own decisions. They force me every morning to attend their church which is titled “Winner’s Chapel International” which an all-African church and I never felt I truly belonged there. I always felt during my time in high school, catholic, and being a part of the college’s catholic club that I belong with the Catholic Church.

Are they going to physically place you in the baptismal? Are they going to point a gun at you? Will they beat you? If they so any of these things you are not baptized because baptism is a free will decision made by you. I am 70 years old woman. I was making my own decisions when I was 17. I can not imagine what kind a hold a family could have on a functional 25 year old person.

This isn’t even about baptism. It is about your own life and the decisions you make for yourself.