Forced Confession question

[elizaveta01]

I was Catholic from many years, but for about 3 years I have been going to a non-Catholic church. My reasons for doing this were personal, not religious. I can now resume attending the CC, but I have a problem.

In a conversation about coming back my local priest said that I would have to go to confession before I could start receiving communion again. I don’t have a problem with this per se. But during the conversation it became clear that he meant I would have to confess to the sin of attending a non-Catholic church. The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

So now I’m having a moral dilemma. I really want to come back to the Church, but if I confess something without believing it to be a sin just to get the priest to commune me, wouldn’t that be a sin also? And wouldn’t the confession be invalid?

If not for this issue I would have already returned, but I just haven’t been able to find any way around this problem.

 

[TimothyH]

The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

The priest is legitimate authority of the Church, and has been chosen by God to be your guide to Heaven. Trust his judgement on spiritual matters before you trust your own.

I had two priests and a deacon tell me this past month that I should pray the rosary daily. They said this independent of each other. I don’t want to pray the rosary daily, but guess what…? I’m praying the rosary daily because I believe that Christ spoke through those men.

Most of what we think is fact is really just our own opinion, and at the end of the day we really don’t know as much as we think. I’m living proof of this. Don’t trust yourself so much.

-Tim-

 

[nodito]

Since I don’t know what your personal reasons were for attending a non-Catholic church for three years, it’s difficult to comment on that. I can imagine certain circumstances where it would not be sinful; for example, if you were living in a remote area where there were no Catholic Churches, you could not have been expected to attend one. Or if you are a minor and have no way of attending a church other than with a non-Catholic parent, that might also be an occasion where it was not sinful. Similarly, missing Mass is grave matter for Catholics, but it might not have been mortal in your case if you did not realize that this offended God or did not choose to do it freely. In that case, it would have been venial and you should confess it but a priest should be able to offer you absolution even if you tell him you did not think you were sinning at the time.

Perhaps it would help you to read up on why Catholics are obliged to attend Mass weekly and on Holy Days of Obligation. It’s possible that your conscience hasn’t been formed properly on this issue; studying it may help you develop contrition for it.

Welcome Home!

 

[Gorgias]

In a conversation about coming back my local priest said that I would have to go to confession before I could start receiving communion again. I don’t have a problem with this per se. But during the conversation it became clear that he meant I would have to confess to the sin of attending a non-Catholic church. The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

As a Catholic, you have the responsibility to participate in the Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation, and to receive the Eucharist at least once a year during the Easter season. You haven’t done this over the past three years, right? Would it be a problem to confess that?

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I was Catholic from many years, but for about 3 years I have been going to a non-Catholic church. My reasons for doing this were personal, not religious. I can now resume attending the CC, but I have a problem.

In a conversation about coming back my local priest said that I would have to go to confession before I could start receiving communion again. I don’t have a problem with this per se. But during the conversation it became clear that he meant I would have to confess to the sin of attending a non-Catholic church. The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

So now I’m having a moral dilemma. I really want to come back to the Church, but if I confess something without believing it to be a sin just to get the priest to commune me, wouldn’t that be a sin also? And wouldn’t the confession be invalid?

If not for this issue I would have already returned, but I just haven’t been able to find any way around this problem.

Attending the services was not a sin and I don’t believe the priest meant to convey that it was. There are many Catholics who attend non-Catholic services in addition to Catholic ones.

And THERE is the answer. You sinned not by attending the non-Catholic services, but by your 3 years of not attending Catholic services as well.

Now, you shouldn’t have a problem confessing that because that is a sin. One of the precepts of the Church is that you attend Mass every Sunday and Holy Day. Not “attend church, and it can be any old church” but attend Mass. You didn’t do that. While you may not have realized it to be wrong, it was.

So while you may not have intended to sin, you did in fact sin.

If you had been out in your yard hitting a baseball, you may not have **intended **to hit your neighbor’s window with the ball. You may have thought the ball could never go that far, or in that direction, meaning that you really had no idea that it could do so. . .but your neighbor’s window is still broken, right? You’re still responsible to say, “I didn’t mean to hit your window, but I did, I’m sorry I did, please let me take responsibility”. Then he might say, “I have insurance to cover it, so you don’t have to pay, but you really made me feel better about it by coming forward and saying you were sorry, and thank you for telling me you didn’t mean to do it.”

When you go to confession, confess that you are sorry that you didn’t go to Mass. If you feel you have to, tell the priest that you didn’t realize (if this is the case) that you had to go to Mass as well as to the non Catholic Church, but now that you know you should have, you’re sorry you didn’t. Because now that you know you should have gone to the Catholic Church and to the nonCatholic Church, aren’t you sorry that you didn’t? Really? Remember, it isn’t the CHURCH’S rules (the Church does not ‘make up rules’), it is God who requests. If you didn’t understand, certainly God will forgive, but you really did not do what you were supposed to do, and that is what is called a sin of omission (not doing what you should) as opposed to a sin of commission (doing something that you should not do). Both are sins. I hope that helps you understand.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

In addition, if you did not attend Mass for 3 years, you probably did not make your Easter Duty for that period of time. That is a sin and must be told in Confession as:" not having performed my Easter duty 3 times".

 

[po18guy]

Do you have a copy of Catholicism for Dummies? This is an excellent resource for all Christians, and is a non-scholarly explanation of Catholic beliefs, as well as the reasons for those beliefs. I believe that you will benefit greatly from perusing it. I learn something each time I read my copy.

As I see it, your problem is that Jesus told us: “Do this, as often as you do it, in memory of Me” (1 Corinthians 11:25). The “Do this” that He is speaking of is celebrating the holy mass. This was a commandment from Him. If you do not “Do this”, then you are, ineffect, breaking His commandment. He also said “You love Me if you keep My commandments” (John 14:15, 14:21, 15:10).

As well, each of us, even Pope Francis, must deny ourselves, take up our crosses daily, then follow Jesus (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23). We must humble ourselves and submit to the Church that Christ founded, because through it, we submit to Christ Himself.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

It is not a sin to attend a non-Catholic church but it would be a sin for a Catholic to formally join a non-Catholic church. As others have noted, your only sin was in not attending a Catholic Church and meeting the Easter duty.

 

[JerryZ]

I was Catholic from many years, but for about 3 years I have been going to a non-Catholic church. My reasons for doing this were personal, not religious. I can now resume attending the CC, but I have a problem.

In a conversation about coming back my local priest said that I would have to go to confession before I could start receiving communion again. I don’t have a problem with this per se. But during the conversation it became clear that he meant I would have to confess to the sin of attending a non-Catholic church. The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

So now I’m having a moral dilemma. I really want to come back to the Church, but if I confess something without believing it to be a sin just to get the priest to commune me, wouldn’t that be a sin also? And wouldn’t the confession be invalid?

If not for this issue I would have already returned, but I just haven’t been able to find any way around this problem.

So missing mass on Sunday’s is not a sin according to you?
Strange since the 1st commandament says to Love God above everything else and the Sunday Mass obbligation is a a direct result of that and since breaking any of the 10 commandments IS mortal sin, if I had broken any I would need to go to confession.
Seems to me you are not quite realizing the nature of the sin, the priest has nothing against you attending the other church (non Catholic) it is your missing your holy days of obbligation masses (Valid Mass only present at a Catholic Church any of the churches in communion would have done or in extremis because none of the previous ones were available at an ortodox church) that conformed the sin.

Hope this helps you in making a good confession and reunite you to our Church.

 

[Tomdstone]

I was Catholic from many years, but for about 3 years I have been going to a non-Catholic church. My reasons for doing this were personal, not religious. I can now resume attending the CC, but I have a problem.

In a conversation about coming back my local priest said that I would have to go to confession before I could start receiving communion again. I don’t have a problem with this per se. But during the conversation it became clear that he meant I would have to confess to the sin of attending a non-Catholic church. The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

So now I’m having a moral dilemma. I really want to come back to the Church, but if I confess something without believing it to be a sin just to get the priest to commune me, wouldn’t that be a sin also? And wouldn’t the confession be invalid?

If not for this issue I would have already returned, but I just haven’t been able to find any way around this problem.

I suppose that you might ask another priest.

 

[Columba_Tom]

Not for discussion on the forum, but there was a reason you left the Church (?)
And there is a reason you feel able to come back (?)

God loves you into life, wherever you go.

 

[Bookcat]

Talk with the Priest --meet with him. Personal face to face discussions are best…

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I was Catholic from many years, but for about 3 years I have been going to a non-Catholic church. My reasons for doing this were personal, not religious. I can now resume attending the CC, but I have a problem.

In a conversation about coming back my local priest said that I would have to go to confession before I could start receiving communion again. I don’t have a problem with this per se. But during the conversation it became clear that he meant I would have to confess to the sin of attending a non-Catholic church. The problem is that I don’t believe it was a sin.

So now I’m having a moral dilemma. I really want to come back to the Church, but if I confess something without believing it to be a sin just to get the priest to commune me, wouldn’t that be a sin also? And wouldn’t the confession be invalid?

If not for this issue I would have already returned, but I just haven’t been able to find any way around this problem.

The others have already addressed your question - noting that the sin is not in attending some other church, but neglecting your obligation to attend Mass every Sunday.

Your first sentence reads, “I was Catholic for many years.” (correction mine) I wish to remind you that you ARE Catholic and will remain so, since your baptism left an indelible mark on your soul. You can be nothing other than a Catholic, no matter what church you attend. You will always be a Catholic.

So, go to confession, confess your sins, and come home!

 

[Bookcat]

Others have mentioned it “not being a sin to attend a Protestant service”.

While yes there can be good reasons for me visiting a community (I have done so) --and no sin involved. (we love our fellow Christian brothers and can be very edified by them)

I need to note that it can also be a sin at times.

For example leaving the Church to do so – or endangering ones Faith etc

Though someone might not realize such and thus may have lessened culpability…they may not have say a clue that what they do is not good etc.

 

[elizaveta01]

Thanks to everyone for trying to help, but I am more torn than ever.

I did talk to the priest at length and the sin I would need to confess, according to him, is attending non-Catholic services. Not my missing Catholic mass or Easter duty. Which is part of the problem. From what I’ve read and studied it isn’t a sin to attend other services in my circumstances. I don’t believe I sinned by attending non-catholic services. And obviously a lot of you don’t either.

My problem isn’t in going to confession (which I did regularly for most of my life), it is in giving a confession that would basically be a lie.

 

[lllj]

My personal advice - if don’t believe in everything the Catholic Church says fully, you probably shouldn’t be receiving communion in the first place. To be Catholic entails believing that the Church has authority over what is and isn’t right. If you don’t believe this, then you don’t fully agree with Catholicism.

I struggle with this myself. Personally, I’m not ready to give fully authority to the Church over what is right and what is wrong. I believe in one truth, but I’m not positive Catholicism has got that whole one truth 100% right. I’m taking a risk with that though. And I currently don’t receive communion while I try to figure it out.

No matter what you believe, out of respect for the Church, when you attend a Catholic mass, go by Catholic rules.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks to everyone for trying to help, but I am more torn than ever.

I did talk to the priest at length and the sin I would need to confess, according to him, is attending non-Catholic services. Not my missing Catholic mass or Easter duty. Which is part of the problem. From what I’ve read and studied it isn’t a sin to attend other services in my circumstances. I don’t believe I sinned by attending non-catholic services. And obviously a lot of you don’t either.

My problem isn’t in going to confession (which I did regularly for most of my life), it is in giving a confession that would basically be a lie.

Why don’t you go to another priest to confess? You’re not under an obligation to confess this “sin” that the first priest says you’ve committed. Granted, I do not know the entire circumstance, so perhaps your situation is really sinful. But perhaps he does not understand? I would find another parish and confess all my known sins.

 

[lllj]

Oops, I may have misread. I assumed you were missing Catholic mass and that the priest meant for your to confess that you had not been attending Catholic services on Sundays and holy days.

If you have been attending both, and the priest is saying that’s a sin, I"m not sure.

 

[quiet52]

Thanks to everyone for trying to help, but I am more torn than ever.

I did talk to the priest at length and the sin I would need to confess, according to him, is attending non-Catholic services. Not my missing Catholic mass or Easter duty. Which is part of the problem. From what I’ve read and studied it isn’t a sin to attend other services in my circumstances. I don’t believe I sinned by attending non-catholic services. And obviously a lot of you don’t either.

My problem isn’t in going to confession (which I did regularly for most of my life), it is in giving a confession that would basically be a lie.

When you attended the non-Catholic churches, did you profess the faith as they recite? Did you ever receive Communion in a non-Catholic church?
If yes to either, then you may have sinned by the act of professing something other than what Catholics believe (thereby rejecting what Catholics believe).
Did anyone know that you are Catholic? If so, I am wondering if the priest believes you committed scandal by publicly rejecting your Catholic faith.

I encourage you to ask the priest to explain further, so that you can better understand, and hopefully, so that you will have deeper sorrow for missing Mass. If it’s impossible to meet with the priest privately ahead of time for clarification, then, during Confession, consider stating something like “I attended non-Catholic church services for three years. I do not truly understand why this would be a sin, but have been advised that I must confess it.”

You do acknowledge that missing Catholic Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation (such as Christmas, Feast of the Immaculate Conception…) without good cause, such as sickness, is a mortal sin which must be confessed, right?

On forming our consciences:
cuf.org/2004/04/going-gods-way-the-churchs-teaching-on-moral-conscience/
and
ssjohnandpaul.org/docs/conscience%20formation.pdf

 

[quiet52]

On examining our consciences:
Here is one of many websites which offer an examination of conscience.
keepingitcatholic.org/exam.html

“Practical Instructions for Making a Good Confession,” The School of Jesus Crucified, Fr. Ignatius of the Side of Jesus, 1895
catholictradition.org/Passion/good-confession.htm

Here is an excerpt from an academic discussion about worshiping with non-Catholics:
“First, the act may be wrong ratione obiecti; for example, if a Catholic with true internal assent and intention takes part with non-Catholics in their religious worship, the thing he does is for him wrong in itself. The malice of the action may vary specifically according to the nature of the worship. If it is a pagan cult in which he participates, there will usually be the guilt of superstition from the nature of the act itself. If, on the other hand, it be merely heretical or even schismatical worship, though the act itself be not intrinsically superstitious, it involves for the Catholic the guilt of denying the true faith or of questioning the exclusive jurisdiction of the true Church. If the participation of a Catholic in non-Catholic worship is active but merely external, that is, if he takes part externally but without the internal intention of assenting to the false or unauthorized worship, he is acting a lie, and also dishonoring God by pretending to deny the true faith and to profess a religion which he knows to be false. The malice of such an action arises, not primarily from his association with non-Catholics, but from the nature of his own act. It is wrong intrinsically.”
from ts.mu.edu/readers/content/pdf/3/3.4/3.4.1.pdf

And here is something about Contrition:
catholicharboroffaithandmorals.com/Contrition.html