Forcing parents to go to confession?

[Sir_Knight]

wait, after reading this again…it seems like the parents are required to stay during Confession…is it required that they confess too? I am just wondering, after reading this the second time.

I have no problem in staying. I want to stay. But in additon to staying, we are being REQUIRED to go in and confess.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Why are you so obsessed with needing to have “serious” sins to confess? That really is an undermining about what the Church teaches concerning the greater value of the sacrament.

Why am I so obsessed? Because I’ve been told, more than once, I might add and by more than one priest that I was wasting his time and cutting into the time of people who may have more serious sins on their souls.

You get reprimanded a few times and it leaves an impression on you.

 

[Sir_Knight]

“The just man falls seven times a day.”

How many more time I?

Did she find serious sin to confess every day or just venial? Sometimes when people think that they are seeing serious sin every day, they are simply scrupulous more than anything.

I haven’t had my morning Mountain Dew yet so maybe I’m not understand correctly but don’t the above two posts of your’s contradict each other? In one of them you justify the need for daily confession and in the other one you find fault with daily confession.

 

[Sir_Knight]

I’d go with the flow - as others have suggested. Go in, tell Father “hello” and that you just went to confession the previous day and just want to support your child on this day.

Yeah, maybe you’re right. Thanks.

 

[Pug]

Volunteer OPPORTUNITIES are good but when it is REQUIRED, then it can no longer be considered “volunteer” and when someone is FORCED to do something, it CAN build resentment – the exact opposite of what I would think they are trying to accomplish.

You picked up on a key word in what I said. I meant it. I meant opportunities, just as you say.

When I was a kid, I watched my relatives be involved and volunteer. Often I went along because someone was in charge of me that day and they didn’t want to leave me home alone. I could participate as I liked, though. Man, I licked a lot of envelopes in my youth (church mailings). As I got older, I had lots of opportunities to volunteer myself, and I took some. I have spent my whole life doing volunteering, even while in college. No thanks to me though…it is thanks to how I was raised and the example set, no doubt whatsoever. But I was not forced. I am very rebellious when forced.

The way to do it is by having the child live with people who volunteer, so helping others is part of life. Maybe they hope that the forcing is going to remedy the problem with a home situation in which the parents are not charity oriented. That is, they hope the kid would like to volunteer, and by forcing the issue (forcing it with the parents really, the ones who are too busy to give the kid a chance to do that sort of thing), maybe the kid will get a chance. But if the parents hate the idea, the kids may pick up on that. I don’t know. I’m sure the DRE has some plan, and the plan is one size fits all, as most things seem to be surrounding education.

 

[Sir_Knight]

I am very rebellious when forced.

The way to do it is by having the child live with people who volunteer, so helping others is part of life.

Exactly my thoughts.

I do our parish weekly bulletin, their website, the school website, the Knights of Columbus website, the Knights of Columbus monthly newsletter, etc. So I’m setting the example for my daughter to follow and even at the age of seven she helps me with the folding, stuffing of envelopes, putting on stamps, labels, sealing of envelopes, etc.

She is learning by example and because she WANTS to help. I didn’t force her to help. I was doing this stuff while she was playing and watching TV and she offered to help and she now helps out regularily. Maybe not all of the time but most of the time.

The point being, that it is her choice and she IS getting into the habit of helping and most importantly, it is coming from the heart with no negative consequences if it is not done.

Forcing someone to “volunteer” or they are not confirmed just doesn’t sit well with me. As we both said, forcing often leads to rebellion.

 

[Explorer]

Sir Knight, have you spoken to anyone in your parish about it? It won’t do much good just starting a thread here, unless you email the link to the thread to the people in your parish.What have you said about it, as the parent of a first communicant?

 

[chicago]

Forcing someone to “volunteer” or they are not confirmed just doesn’t sit well with me. As we both said, forcing often leads to rebellion.

While I have my own reservations about this requirement, I think that it can fly both ways. I have heard kids who enjoy the opportunity and are thankful that they were “forced” to take a step which they otherwise would not have. Once they actually experience the joy of serving and being touched in return by those who they help, they desire to continue. Conversely, though I do think that simply setting the example and having kids come up with joining in on their own naturally is best, often children then decide that they “want to go their own way” instead, and rebel or choose a different path entirely. So nothing is certain any way about it.

 

[chicago]

Why am I so obsessed? Because I’ve been told, more than once, I might add and by more than one priest that I was wasting his time and cutting into the time of people who may have more serious sins on their souls.

You get reprimanded a few times and it leaves an impression on you.

Alright. Now I at least understand where you’re coming from. And though that is just plain wrong on the priest’s part, I can certainly find your perspective fair enough. But look at it this way… if you go in and the priest yells at you, you get to yell back at him. “Hey YOU’RE the one who told me to come in here this time!” Turnabout is fair play.

 

[jmcrae]

Why am I so obsessed? Because I’ve been told, more than once, I might add and by more than one priest that I was wasting his time and cutting into the time of people who may have more serious sins on their souls.

You get reprimanded a few times and it leaves an impression on you.

I go to Confession quite frequently, but no priest has ever said anything like that to me.

If they did, I would just tell him that I am making my Confession for the souls in Purgatory, to receive their Indulgences for this week.

(I do have one priest who, when he hears my Confessions, just gives me the Indulgence prayers for my penance, because of how obvious it was that I was making a devotional Confession - two birds with one stone. But he’s never told me that I’m “wasting his time.”)

 

[chicago]

I haven’t had my morning Mountain Dew yet so maybe I’m not understand correctly but don’t the above two posts of your’s contradict each other? In one of them you justify the need for daily confession and in the other one you find fault with daily confession.

Just because the just man falls frequently doesn’t necessarily mean that he fails seriously. In fact, if he is just perhaps he never falls seriously. Again, my point is that if one is making use of confession on a daily basis, it ought to be for good, appropriate reasons of devotion and not merely because they are so scared of going to hell that they think every little thing is sending them there. In the former case, frequent confession can be a good and healthy thing. In the latter scenario, a person needs to learn not to worryn so much and may actually be better off not running to confession constantly.

 

[Explorer]

If everyone went to confession once a week, the priest would definately be overwhelmed. There aren’t enough priests for that. Going every day is only practical if you have your own private priest, like you are high in the hierachy.

I go every couple of months. If I go more often it seems to lose it’s effect on me and become redundent.

 

[coeyannie]

In the first place, we do not “do” our Holy Communion and Confession. We “receive” it. I am utterly astounded at the Catholics who continue to use words “take” Communion; “do confession”; c’mon, get with it. At least we can have some respect for the Sacraments. We receive these Sacraments. They are given to us.

 

[jmcrae]

If everyone went to confession once a week, the priest would definately be overwhelmed. There aren’t enough priests for that.

No - but lots more people could go on a monthly basis without making too much of a dent in their time. I’ve never been in the situation of “holding up the line” - most of the time, I’m one of only a few people there, at the time. And, other than First Confession (I’m an adult convert) I’ve never taken more than 3-4 minutes, anyway, and that’s my re-e-ally lo-o-ong ones- typically, Confession takes about a minute, maybe 90 seconds, all told.

 

[Sir_Knight]

I’ve never taken more than 3-4 minutes, anyway, and that’s my re-e-ally lo-o-ong ones- typically, Confession takes about a minute, maybe 90 seconds, all told.

A lot depends on the priest. I usually find myself confessing the same sins a lot of the time as I am struggling to overcome these faults. Depending on the priest, I can be in there for only a couple of minutes to several minutes. Some priests will hear the confession and give the absolution and your done. Some priests even give the absolution as I’m making the act of contritution to speed things up even more.

Other priests start with scripture readings, ask questions during and/or after I say my sins. Some even offer a scripture reading regarding some of those sins, etc.

 

[chicago]

If everyone went to confession once a week, the priest would definately be overwhelmed. There aren’t enough priests for that. Going every day is only practical if you have your own private priest, like you are high in the hierachy.

If everybody went to confession once a week, we might have a lot more priests.

 

[puzzleannie]

So you understand where I’m coming from

I can see that I’m going to have “issues” with this DRE because for confirmation they are required to do some kind of year-long volunteer project otherwise they will not get confirmed. I never had to do anything like this. Nor, is it required of those going through the RCIA program. So why require it of the school children?

you might as well find out now what the requirements of your diocese for sacramental preparation involve, and not be too quick to blame the DRE. In this diocese youth preparing for Confirmation are required to participate in a service project. What that service project consists of is left up to the pastor. No duration, set number of hours is prescribed. No log of hours may be demanded. Also, no proof of Mass attendance may be demanded.

They are also required to attend an overnight retreat. The format of that retreat is also left up to the pastor.
They must be given the opportunity for confession before Confirmation and reminded that they must be in a state of grace to receive the sacrament, as well their obligation as CAtholics regarding Mass and sacraments. They cannot be forced to do anything.

In some parishes these discretionary things are left to the Confirmation director, in others the pastor sets the policies. sounds like you better get to know both these people better right now or you will be having a tough time in the future.

The requirements for RCIA are also set by the diocese and based on the National Statutes for the RCIA. the process is supposed to assist and encourage the candidates and catechumens to become part of parish and community life. That is what the sponsors are for, to invite them to participate in whatever service and other things they do for the parish.

 

[Pax2u]

I teach sacramental prep at our parish for the children. No DRE can require a parent to receive a sacrament. If the parent truly is adament about not receiving the sacrament of Penance, they should just not go in to the Reconciliation Room/confessional when the time comes. The DRE isn’t going to do anything at that point.

Yes, in an ideal world, every parent would happily go and receive the sacrament after their child does. But it is a broken world, and frankly, I’m happy that the little ones are getting some catechesis and receiving their sacraments…and trusting that God’s grace will touch the hearts of these parents,so many of whom have been poorly catechised themselves.

Please pray for children preparing for their sacraments…and their parents.

 

[CRW]

My daughter will be doing her first confession and first communon this school year and the director of religious education said that all parents are REQUIRED to go to confession with their child.

I have a bit of an issue with this. It isn’t the confession part because I’m a EMHC and I normally go to confession once a week (sometimes even twice a week) just before I distribute Holy Communion so that I can be as free from sin as possible but the fact that it is a REQUIREMENT on the part of the parents to go to confession.

Is this something new? How do others feel about this?

I would first talk to the director of education and state your personal feelings about the matter, question her authority to force someone to go to confession, ask about parents who are not authorized to go to confession, etc. The list is endless.

However, I would go to support my child so he or she would not feel that they were or are the only one that their parents did not go to confession. They will feel left out, not knowing the teachings of the church. I would discuss this matter later.

I would also discuss this with the priest. God Bless.

 

[Sir_Knight]

They are also required to attend an overnight retreat.

I’d also have a problem with that as well – MY child sleep under MY roof at night.