T
Trishie
Guest
Marriage can be very lonely, and frequently is, in many marriages.
Forever Alone...For Real? (Or, How to Persevere When You Might End Up Single in Heaven Too)
- Status
On the flip side of this topic…I often wonder how heaven can be as good as it’s cracked up to be. Won’t we get bored of praising God 24/7? What if I want to stay married to my wife in heaven? What if we’d like to make love? Will I able to partake in activities that I enjoyed on Earth when I have literally all eternity to do it? I’d like to be able to perfect my kayaking skill in heaven.
In the end I just have to resign myself to the fact that whatever it is it’s better than I can imagine and there’s no point even trying to wrap my head around it.
In the end I just have to resign myself to the fact that whatever it is it’s better than I can imagine and there’s no point even trying to wrap my head around it.
T
Trishie
Guest
Yet there is a place for consideration that no celibate person would exist without motherhood and fatherhood.
Our Mother, in her motherhood of Christ, is figure for us of the great miracle of conception and birth of unique children of God. Without motherhood and fatherhood, none of us, neither priest nor nun nor any person would exist in our world, or would exist for heaven.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
With respect to the Church making people feel excluded, I think everybody gets some of this.
Single people have expressed that the Church is looking more kindly on married people.
Married people without kids have felt they are getting pushed aside because they don’t have children.
Married people with kids have been frustrated at the lack of support from the Church for their child care, or felt excluded from young people’s groups or church ministries because their responsibilities to their kids come first.
Married people generally have had to deal with the issue that celibacy and the religious life are on a higher plane than marriage.
I’m sure those in the religious life have plenty of challenges too, as shown by the fact that a number of them leave.
Bottom line is, the grass always looks greener on someone else’s side, and we can ALL find some reason to feel excluded from the Church if we want to. I went up to a priest the other day to tell him how much I enjoyed his prayer ministry, and he was nice but he kind of blew me off. I heard him telling someone else he needed to sit down and I suspected he was tired and not in good physical shape to stand up and talk to people, or maybe just not a “people person.” I could have used that as a reason to feel sad or like I wasn’t valued. Maybe when younger I would have. Instead I chose to realize that it’s not “all about me”.
I’m pretty sure there are people right now stuck in bad marriages who would trade places with you in a minute.
I hope you are able to realize your own value, whether or not you eventually marry and have a family. And I hope you’re able to reach out to people and become less lonely.
Single people have expressed that the Church is looking more kindly on married people.
Married people without kids have felt they are getting pushed aside because they don’t have children.
Married people with kids have been frustrated at the lack of support from the Church for their child care, or felt excluded from young people’s groups or church ministries because their responsibilities to their kids come first.
Married people generally have had to deal with the issue that celibacy and the religious life are on a higher plane than marriage.
I’m sure those in the religious life have plenty of challenges too, as shown by the fact that a number of them leave.
Bottom line is, the grass always looks greener on someone else’s side, and we can ALL find some reason to feel excluded from the Church if we want to. I went up to a priest the other day to tell him how much I enjoyed his prayer ministry, and he was nice but he kind of blew me off. I heard him telling someone else he needed to sit down and I suspected he was tired and not in good physical shape to stand up and talk to people, or maybe just not a “people person.” I could have used that as a reason to feel sad or like I wasn’t valued. Maybe when younger I would have. Instead I chose to realize that it’s not “all about me”.
I’m pretty sure there are people right now stuck in bad marriages who would trade places with you in a minute.
I hope you are able to realize your own value, whether or not you eventually marry and have a family. And I hope you’re able to reach out to people and become less lonely.
Last edited:
T
Trishie
Guest
There is joy but there is also unbelievable pain sometimes in relation to both spouse and children.
No one on earth breaks the heart more than one’s children, though there is also joy, sometimes there is more sorrow, more worry, especially when they grow up and make choices that damage their lives and futures.
And always to be with someone, isn’t always perfect. It can be very restrictive, too, there is always some lack of freedom of choice and decision, or of movement. Always having to answer to others within the home, always likely to be told off for some silly little oversight etc, and no man is perfect, no woman is. Many a married person has a secret wish to be single and free…so sometimes the single ones have the best of it.
The grass is greener on the other side in any state of life, for many people, so please don’t feel you’ve missed out. Yes that, but you’ve also been spared…life is complicated!
Last edited:
D
DENNYINMI
Guest
Your concern renders thought, I too am single.
With that being said, we will I suppose meet others alike that had the same concerns.
It always gives me hope to know I won’t be alone.
God Bless
With that being said, we will I suppose meet others alike that had the same concerns.
It always gives me hope to know I won’t be alone.
God Bless
I
iwillrisenowinfaith
Guest
Yes, indeed It’s always good to hear that…may these conversations help other single soldiers in Christ who are muddling through out there!
I think sometimes when single people talk about how difficult it is to be single, the conversation automatically jumps to the assumption that what they’re saying is “gee, I wish I were married right now! Then everything would be perfect!” As I said before, I’m an adult. Many of us are adults. And we are not selfish for feeling these things. I cannot emphasize that enough to any other single folks who might be reading out there. We express these things, but we’re not necessarily saying that we want to be married right now. We know God has us in the state that we are in for His reasons. We know that intellectually…but that doesn’t mean we don’t grapple with it emotionally. That’s where encouraging each other comes in.
To answer the suggestion about focusing on friendships, I do think about this, but then what about our friends from other faith traditions?
It’s always good to hear that…may these conversations help other single soldiers in Christ who are muddling through out there!I think sometimes when single people talk about how difficult it is to be single, the conversation automatically jumps to the assumption that what they’re saying is “gee, I wish I were married right now! Then everything would be perfect!” As I said before, I’m an adult. Many of us are adults. And we are not selfish for feeling these things. I cannot emphasize that enough to any other single folks who might be reading out there. We express these things, but we’re not necessarily saying that we want to be married right now. We know God has us in the state that we are in for His reasons. We know that intellectually…but that doesn’t mean we don’t grapple with it emotionally. That’s where encouraging each other comes in.
To answer the suggestion about focusing on friendships, I do think about this, but then what about our friends from other faith traditions?
Last edited:
0
0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
Hugs to you
You are most definitely not selfish for having these feelings–please don’t think I was hinting at it!
You are most definitely not selfish for having these feelings–please don’t think I was hinting at it!
Being lonely is a terrible thing. Being alone can be good and is definitely needed but being chronically lonely is terrible both emotionally and physically. It seems to be more physically unhealthy than obesity. Being chronically lonely myself, I’ve been doing a lot of reading about it. Chronically lonely people are also 43% more likely to have a premature death. I guess that’s the one positive thing is that you won’t have to worry about having a long, lonely life.
P
petra22
Guest
No, it won’t be as good. It will be better because we have no idea what it will be like. No eye has seen and no ear has heard what God has in store for people who love him. You won’t get bored by anything. God is eternal… not just living for ever and ever but in dimension… He has dimensions that are also eternal, they go on forever and you can just get “lost” in learning new things about God. And who doesn’t like learning new things???
P
petra22
Guest
Will the Kayak fit more than one because Jesus will probably want to go along with you!!!
E
egretps
Guest
Happiest people I’ve known in my life have been single older women.
T
TheLittleLady
Guest
One priest I know describes it as various glasses on a table.
There is a tiny cordial glass, a water glass, a big tumbler.
Right now, each glass is partially full. Heaven is each glass full to the brim.
We will each be filled with the ecstasy of the beatific vision, with happiness and joy to the fullest that our heart may contain.
In this life we strive to increase our ability to receive.
There is a tiny cordial glass, a water glass, a big tumbler.
Right now, each glass is partially full. Heaven is each glass full to the brim.
We will each be filled with the ecstasy of the beatific vision, with happiness and joy to the fullest that our heart may contain.
In this life we strive to increase our ability to receive.
F
fin
Guest
I agree that singles are not selfish dor desiring companionship or marriage. Like what Trishie said, everyone comes from a father and mother, including celibates. I think even in the Church, we have to stop shaming singles for wanting marriage. After all, it is a good and holy desire.
Another thing to mention about singleness. Marriage is a sacrament, singlehood isn’t, as per Alice Von Hildebrand. And she’s right.
Another thing to mention about singleness. Marriage is a sacrament, singlehood isn’t, as per Alice Von Hildebrand. And she’s right.
F
fin
Guest
Another thing that is unhelpful is when people say you can be single and happy. And they go on to give an example, I have a friend so and so…
Problem is, those who say these things are happily married.
You have to take into account that everyone is different. Some are single because they do not want to be married. That’s okay. But it’s another thing to be single even if you desire marriage.
Another thing is, being happy mean differently for different people. It’s subjective and hence inane to tell people, be happy. Yes be happy for youw orn sake and for others, but then again it’s vague.
Problem is, those who say these things are happily married.
You have to take into account that everyone is different. Some are single because they do not want to be married. That’s okay. But it’s another thing to be single even if you desire marriage.
Another thing is, being happy mean differently for different people. It’s subjective and hence inane to tell people, be happy. Yes be happy for youw orn sake and for others, but then again it’s vague.
Last edited:
J
joeybaggz
Guest
I have to agree with Adam, Heaven is where love is perfected. Through our union with and perfect love of God, our ability and willingness to love will be perfected. We will love in the manner Christ loved us. And Christ loved certain people in a more personal way than others. We will recognize and love our relatives, spouses, children, friends perfectly, but in a more “personal” way because we knew and loved them on earth. It is like a parent loving his/her children. They are all loved equally, but with different degrees of recognition how to love due to special aspects of the relationship.TheLittleLady:
I don’t agree. Heaven doesn’t wipe away our shared experiences or closeness with the people we know in this life. I think we will have a general love for everyone (as Christians we should have a general love for our fellow man anyway). Marriage will not be a thing in heaven. But friendship will be. Our best friends in heaven will still be dearer to us than some random convert to Chriatianity from a millenium ago. I think people who were married on Earth will share a special closeness, but I also think that our friendships on Earth will endure eternally. Perhaps as a single person the OP can think in those terms. It’s not like married people are the only people who have friendship.
Heaven doesn’t mean we forget all we experienced on earth. Heaven doesn’t wipe the slate clean.
My two cents (I miss that old emoji)
Last edited:
E
egretps
Guest
What JoeyBaggz said!
Think of all the people you have prayed for in this life. It’s possible that some of those people will have very few people pray for them, but you did. Those prayers of yours were enough to help them in a difficult point in their life, either in a terrible illness or spiritual crisis. One day in heaven, your prayers for that person will be known. You will have a bff in Heaven, for all Eternity.
Now, I’m certain that you with your tender heart have prayed for people you love right now and in the past.
Now, if you’d really like to get married and you are up for what God wills for you for this life, consider asking St. Joseph to help you find your spouse.
God Bless you!
ray:t3: Prayers for you!
Think of all the people you have prayed for in this life. It’s possible that some of those people will have very few people pray for them, but you did. Those prayers of yours were enough to help them in a difficult point in their life, either in a terrible illness or spiritual crisis. One day in heaven, your prayers for that person will be known. You will have a bff in Heaven, for all Eternity.
Now, I’m certain that you with your tender heart have prayed for people you love right now and in the past.
Now, if you’d really like to get married and you are up for what God wills for you for this life, consider asking St. Joseph to help you find your spouse.
God Bless you!
ray:t3: Prayers for you!
- Status