Forgetting about the faith when dating

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SacredHeartBassist said:
I was talking with an older married man from church and he told me that in order to date nowadays you gotta forget about your faith and have premarital sex otherwise you’ll never find a wife. When I told him I think you’re wrong, he said you can just go to confession like everyone else. Is this a common thought process nowadays? Why do people think this is okay?
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What kind of wife is that method going to turn up?

It’s not how you’d go about finding somebody who shares your values.
 
There are plenty of women who will accept that “method”. Without even a second thought!

Ans yes, definitely I agree! That’s likely not like that that you will find somebody who will share your values (unless the two compromised, because of lack of communication, or any other stupid thing!)
 
TheLittleLady said:
in 2014, 40% of Catholic women were not married and between age 18 - 49

National Geographic News – 17 Sep 15

Who Are U.S. Catholics? Numbers Show a Surprising Shift​

In the last 30 years, Roman Catholics in the U.S. have become more diverse—racially and geographically.

There are approx 72,000,000 Cathoics in the US, so, let’s assume half of them are women.

That means there are over 14 MILLION unmarried Catholic women between the ages of 18 - 49.

Yes, there are single Catholic women, many of them.
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But how many of them have impediments due to divorce? And how many are CINOs who are living in a state of sinful cohabitation (either with a same-sex or opposite-sex partner)?
 
Paul71 said:
It sounds like the man who said that has forgotten about his faith. I hope he is not giving this advice to his own children.
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Agreed. It makes me wonder if he is contributing to the problem, or whether he is trying to con the OP into marrying a wayward daughter.
 
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My mom says the same thing as the man. This week my mom even told me that people who wait until they’re married have no passion and that you need to try it out before you buy

One of my friends is getting married soon and he told me him and his fiancé are waiting. When I told my mom she said if they’re waiting there’s no attraction between the two
 
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1ke said:
Well that’s pretty unfortunate that he would say something like that.
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Yes, it’s unfortunate, but from what I’ve seen from posts here on CAF, it’s not surprising. How often is a male virgin who wants to find a wife who is equally yoked virginitywise told that he is being unrealistic and that there are few (if any) female virgins out there, so he is “shamed” into “settling” and allowing himself to be “gyped” (to use the word that Jason Evert used in one of his writings)? From there, it is not a long trip to the views of the man the OP encountered.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
One of my friends is getting married soon and he told me him and his fiancé are waiting. When I told my mom she said if they’re waiting there’s no attraction between the two
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Hang on to those friends! Maybe they can assist you in your search.

It also sounds like you mom is an occasion of sin.
 
ROFL! Tell her that my fiance and I waited and we are going at it like bunnies now that we’re married. 😛 No lack of passion.

We also got pregnant almost immediately. Hahahah.

Sorry to be coarse. What your mom said is just too ridiculous.
 
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Commenting again because honestly what she’s saying is: If others have self control, unlike me, then they must be defective.

ROFL!!!
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
My mom says the same thing as the man. This week my mom even told me that people who wait until they’re married have no passion and that you need to try it out before you buy

One of my friends is getting married soon and he told me him and his fiancé are waiting. When I told my mom she said if they’re waiting there’s no attraction between the two
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That’s pure nonsense. My wife and I waited and now there are times when we can’t keep away from each other.

If anything, waiting increases the excitement.
 
somecanadian said:
Commenting again because honestly what she’s saying is: If others have self control, unlike me, then they must be defective.

ROFL!!!
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Funny though it may be, it’s also kind of sad. It’s also saying: I think it’s better to be a slave of passion than to be in control of myself.
 
Oh, totally! It’s amazing how many people think this way though! This mother is not the only one who has such a poor view of humanity.
 
Yeah, I sometimes get grief for being a non-drinker. Especially from drunk people at weddings. It’s like they feel bad that someone else can keep control over themselves.
 
When someone else has the self control they lack it is an open and painful reminder that they could do better… if they CHOSE to.

It’s why those who choose a different way are so despised. We stand as painful reminders of their failings.
 
It’s called the sin of presumption. It is difficult to claim contrition if one premeditates sinning with the plan to simply confess it later.

That is different than knowing IF we sin, confession is there for us.
 
This reminded me of one of my favorite sayings from Dave Durand (Dave Durand | Catholic Answers), along the lines of:

When you are acting nobly or honorably, and someone says “you make me sick…”

What they are actually saying is “I make myself sick, and you remind me of that…”
 
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