Found stray kitten by our house

[dshix]

Um, I am respecting his wishes. He is ok for me to take care of the cat so long as it stays outside. I am accepting that. I wish he was more compassionate about my feelings in this situation but he is not. I don’t think there is anything wrong with praying for his heart to soften in secret without pushing the issue. I have used this method before - leave him alone about an issue, pray about it in secret and hope his heart softens - successfully.

And styrgwillidar, I am supportive of my husband getting a dog when we are ready. We have both agreed that as soon as we are finished clearing our acreage and fence in our property, we will get a dog.

Ok, that’s fine. The reason I responded the way I did is because I got the hint from the tone in your words that you are holding a grudge against your husband (if, perhaps, subconsciously) for the fact that he isn’t entirely succumbing to your wishes.

If this topic disturbs you so much, don’t read it.

I own three cats, and love their company. I do not hate cats, but I certainly know their place and priority in life, and I post accordingly.

 

[iepuras]

As for keeping it, you cannot keep it over your husband’s objections, but I have known many fellows to grow rather fond of cats that they allowed into their homes grudgingly. If promises are made about where the cat is to be allowed, what care it will get or not get, and who will be responsible for the animal, those promises must be kept without fail. If your husband vetoes the acquisition of this cat, though–sorry, that’s it. No cat. Both spouses have to agree.

My father is one of those fellows. He has never really cared for cats but has always allowed my mother to have a cat (or two or three) because his love for her and desire to be happy trumps his annoyance of cats. There is one cat my mom had that my father really did grow fond of - Patches. Patches was a man’s cat and loved my dad to no end. My dad eventually loved him too. Poor Patches didn’t live very long and died of congestive heart failure. Even my dad mourned Patches.

My husband is agreeable to having an outdoor cat, so I will go with that. Maybe some day he will come around after lots and lots of patient prayer (and leaving him alone about it).

 

[EasterJoy]

My father is one of those fellows. He has never really cared for cats but has always allowed my mother to have a cat (or two or three) because his love for her and desire to be happy trumps his annoyance of cats. There is one cat my mom had that my father really did grow fond of - Patches. Patches was a man’s cat and loved my dad to no end. My dad eventually loved him too. Poor Patches didn’t live very long and died of congestive heart failure. Even my dad mourned Patches.

My husband is agreeable to having an outdoor cat, so I will go with that. Maybe some day he will come around after lots and lots of patient prayer (and leaving him alone about it).

You’re going to get him spayed, I trust. Also, he’ll need somewhere to get out of the elements. My cousins (whose dad is not a cat person, either) give their cats access to their garage. You can get cat doors that confuse the raccoons and you can avoid stray bits of cat food laying around after the cat eats, which keeps the cat food from attracting vermin. You can even get cat doors that read the microchip that that the vets put in for identification…no cat in your garage except ol’ Francis. The doors are not an investment in your cat, but an investment in keeping things from using the cat door to gain access to your garage. Still, they’re over $100, so they’re not cheap. It may be something to consider if a need for it arises.

The good thing is that cats, unlike dogs, do not mind solitude.

 

[Mikeydell]

I own three cats, and love their company. I do not hate cats, but I certainly know their place and priority in life, and I post accordingly.

Bravo!

Mike (Adopted by 2 strays - 15 years and 3 years of age.)

 

[Lormar]

I own three cats, and love their company. I do not hate cats, but I certainly know their place and priority in life, and I post accordingly.

Good for you.

I, too, have priorities, and arguing about cats is not high on the list.

Have a nice day! Go hug your cats!

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Bravo!

Mike (Adopted by 2 strays - 15 years and 3 years of age.)

I adopted 2 from a shelter - 1 kitten (3.5 mo at the time) and an older 6 year old who was declawed.

We took in another kitten my sister found on the side of the road. She is deaf and was sick. We nursed her back to health.

 

[dshix]

Bravo!

Mike (Adopted by 2 strays - 15 years and 3 years of age.)

Good for you.

I, too, have priorities, and arguing about cats is not high on the list.

Have a nice day! Go hug your cats!

Ha, I have to say, it is quite hard to not let them take over my life. I keep them exclusively outside because of the hair and smell, but their constant begging for full possession of the property is occasionally maddening.

 

[Cider]

I applaud you for not ignoring a baby animal in need. I’d seriously consider finding the kitten a home with people that love cats. Personally there is no way I’d bring any animal into the home with someone that speeds up their car when they see an animal in the street. This cat deserves a home with people that will love it, not a home with someone who hates it. Honestly I’d fear for the cats safety and well being if your husband was ever alone with it.

I can’t even imagine living with someone who hates animals so much. I’m sorry you are in this situation.

 

[KimberlyCat]

I think you need to get some priorities in order. Cats are animals without free will, an intellect, or an immortal soul.

Your husband is a human with all three, and he is your husband. Your obligation to love for your husband and respect for his wishes is infinitely greater than your obligation to good stewardship of animals.

DSHIX: Cats are a lot more intelligent than humans.

now people who hate cats, and I understand their reasons. Cats shed hair incessantly when indoors, they scratch up furniture, they get into and damage sensitive objects, they stink if a litter is not constantly cleaned, and they take revenge on you if they think you are somehow staffing their home insufficiently.

You should seriously consider whether or not it is worth it to frustrate and anger your husband just to satisfy your own wish to have a cat. If the cat wins him over, all well and good, but otherwise, I’d just let it go.

You are acting as if she is helping to stop world hunger or something. It is a CAT. This is not a corporal work of mercy.

 

[Aggie414]

Honestly I’d fear for the cats safety and well being if your husband was ever alone with it.

I can’t even imagine living with someone who hates animals so much. I’m sorry you are in this situation.

I think that’s a little unfair. While I admit the speeding up if he sees a cat in the road is alarming, I don’t think I’d go so far as to accuse him of intentionally brutalizing cats that are left alone with him. If he was truly capable of that, there would be very obvious signs of a sociopathic personality and she really needs to get herself out (and any kids) now.

I, too, can’t imagine sharing my life with someone who doesn’t like animals in the house – or a particular animal that I like in the house BUT this is something she knows about her husband and it’s not fair to be aware of a fact and then be upset that he doesn’t want the animal in the house and then try to manipulate the situation (if she was trying to do that, which I don’t think the OP is)

 

[dshix]

Was that comment intended to be somehow useful, Kimberly?

 

[iepuras]

You’re going to get him spayed, I trust. Also, he’ll need somewhere to get out of the elements. My cousins (whose dad is not a cat person, either) give their cats access to their garage. You can get cat doors that confuse the raccoons and you can avoid stray bits of cat food laying around after the cat eats, which keeps the cat food from attracting vermin. You can even get cat doors that read the microchip that that the vets put in for identification…no cat in your garage except ol’ Francis. The doors are not an investment in your cat, but an investment in keeping things from using the cat door to gain access to your garage. Still, they’re over $100, so they’re not cheap. It may be something to consider if a need for it arises.

The good thing is that cats, unlike dogs, do not mind solitude.

Absolutely, Francis is getting fixed and will also get his shots. Getting him basic vet care, including spay/neuter, is a priority.

Good idea about the garage access. I mentioned it to my husband and he agrees that it could be a good idea. I didn’t know about the microchip feature. That is really cool. It is actually a really good idea to keep a cat in there to go after the tree roaches that come into the garage from outside (and then into our house). My husband is open to the idea.

My husband is happy (and relieved) that I agree to keeping Francis as an outdoor cat with eventual garage access.

 

[KimberlyCat]

And what happens if this doesn’t happen? What happens if the wife does exactly what she wants to do with total disregard for the husband’s wishes? (I’m not saying she will. She seems that she’s hoping they can come to a mutual agreement about what to do with little Frances) Does that give the husband free reign to just do exactly what he wants regardless of his wife’s wishes? Then would your response be “just do it. She’ll come around” or would it be how insensitive to his wife’s wishes he is?

I honestly believe that you did not mean your post to come across that way, but that’s exactly how it sounded to me. I am not a cat person – I like visiting my friend’s cats. I am a dog person and do not see myself ever not having a dog. Should I meet someone who doesn’t like dogs, it would be a very hard decision to make, being willing to give up one of the biggest joys of my life; but I would certainly not make that decision and then try to submarine my husband by just disregarding his wishes and bringing an animal into the house that I know he does not want.

She is bringing a 4 pound kitten into the home. She did not go out and search for it and bring it home to intentionally go against her husband’s wishes. The kitten just showed up. Besides the kitten is going to be an outdoor cat and won’t even bother the husband except to show him affection and love. The husband has already agreed to let the cat hang around outside. Cats are good to have around. They kill rats, mice, snakes, roaches, birds, etc. If the husband starts to love Francis then it will eventually be an indoor cat. If not it will be well taken care of outside.

 

[dshix]

Absolutely, Francis is getting fixed and will also get his shots. Getting him basic vet care, including spay/neuter, is a priority.

Good idea about the garage access. I mentioned it to my husband and he agrees that it could be a good idea. I didn’t know about the microchip feature. That is really cool. It is actually a really good idea to keep a cat in there to go after the tree roaches that come into the garage from outside (and then into our house). My husband is open to the idea.

My husband is happy (and relieved) that I agree to keeping Francis as an outdoor cat with eventual garage access.

Sounds good; I’m glad you have a good working plan ahead of you.

 

[iepuras]

I think that’s a little unfair. While I admit the speeding up if he sees a cat in the road is alarming, I don’t think I’d go so far as to accuse him of intentionally brutalizing cats that are left alone with him. If he was truly capable of that, there would be very obvious signs of a sociopathic personality and she really needs to get herself out (and any kids) now.

I, too, can’t imagine sharing my life with someone who doesn’t like animals in the house – or a particular animal that I like in the house BUT this is something she knows about her husband and it’s not fair to be aware of a fact and then be upset that he doesn’t want the animal in the house and then try to manipulate the situation (if she was trying to do that, which I don’t think the OP is)

My husband is not brutal to animals. He grew up on a farm and appreciates what animals give to us. Our neighbor has an outdoor cat who is always in our yard and my husband doesn’t care. This cat has been hanging around our house for 5 years and my husband hasn’t touched him or even told him to go away! Unlike many people these days, my husband does not anthropomorphize animals and does not treat them like children. Like I said, he speeds up to bother me, not try to kill the cat. If it wasn’t for the deed restrictions, my husband would have goats, chickens and a cow in our backyard!

 

[ProVobis]

I found a stray kitten and the last thing I needed was another cat. I was going to take her to a shelter as I had two Persians already. But I couldn’t do it. The Persians died since and all I have left is Tigger, who is now four years old. She adopted me and I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Incidentally one of my Persians, Vortex, would have been 16 yrs ago today. Great day to be born.

 

[KimberlyCat]

Was that comment intended to be somehow useful, Kimberly?

Yes. Very useful. I grew up on a farm and love all animals. I understand that some see animals as just animals and they have their own purposes in life. Horses for us to ride. Camels for us to ride across the desert. Pigs, deer, quail, doves, cows to provide meat and dairy products… Dogs to be man’s best friend. Cats to kill rats, mice, snakes, roaches, insects, birds, etc. In addition to this I see all animals as having a loving soul, a free will and intellect. And cats are the smartest of all of us. Just my humble opinion. I’m looking forward to packing up my 19 pound cat “Henrietta” in the morning to take her to be blessed by my priest during our parish’s Pet Blessing in honor of St. Francis.

 

[Aggie414]

My husband is not brutal to animals. He grew up on a farm and appreciates what animals give to us. Our neighbor has an outdoor cat who is always in our yard and my husband doesn’t care. This cat has been hanging around our house for 5 years and my husband hasn’t touched him or even told him to go away! Unlike many people these days, my husband does not anthropomorphize animals and does not treat them like children. Like I said, he speeds up to bother me, not try to kill the cat. If it wasn’t for the deed restrictions, my husband would have goats, chickens and a cow in our backyard!

I was not intending to imply that your husband is brutal to animals. I was responding to another poster who had implied that. I was merely saying if your husband was, then you would have seen signs of that capability already.

 

[KimberlyCat]

I found a stray kitten and the last thing I needed was another cat. I was going to take her to a shelter as I had two Persians already. But I couldn’t do it. The Persians died since and all I have left is Tigger, who is now four years old. She adopted me and I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Incidentally one of my Persians, Vortex, would have been 16 yrs ago today. Great day to be born.

I’m sorry about your Persian cats but I’m SO GLAD you allowed Tigger to adopt you when he did.

 

[Cider]

My husband is not brutal to animals. He grew up on a farm and appreciates what animals give to us. Our neighbor has an outdoor cat who is always in our yard and my husband doesn’t care. This cat has been hanging around our house for 5 years and my husband hasn’t touched him or even told him to go away! Unlike many people these days, my husband does not anthropomorphize animals and does not treat them like children. Like I said, he speeds up to bother me, not try to kill the cat. If it wasn’t for the deed restrictions, my husband would have goats, chickens and a cow in our backyard!

Trying to get a rise out of you by speeding up the car when he sees animals in the street is not normal behavior, regardless of how you try and rationalize it. Normal people don’t pretend to try and run over animals.