Fr. Francis Mary Stone takes leave of absence to discern vocation

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You all are making it too complicated. It’s just a case of the glands winning out over the vows…
 
Since every thread I posted on for this subject has dissapeared, I’ll try puting my :twocents: here:

I’m sure I will catch some flack for this, but Fr. Francis Mary seems to be quite hypocritical here. He already had many years to “discern” his vocation before he made his permanent vows. What do you think he would tell me if I said to him that I wasn’t sure if married life was my vocation 10 years after being married and wanted I to discern leaving my marriage? Do you think Fr. Francis Mary would tell me that’s a good idea? No way! He would tell me to march right back to my wife and children, toughen up and be a man. I would be told that I made a promise before Almighty God and I need to stick with it to the end.

I have sat and listen to him preach for years about how sometimes what we are called to do can get difficult but we need to finish the race well, only to witness him being involved in this scandal. And yes, it is a scandal. He already has a woman in his life, and her name is Holy Mother Church.

Who the heck allowed a monk to get that close to a young, unmarried woman anyway? This is a perfect example of why Mother Angelica has kept such a short leash on the Poor Clares.

This is what happens when you have monks trying to make a religious vocation seem cool by acting too chummy with the public and the religious sisters. It is not “cool”, it’s sacred and a very serious thing.

This is just another nail in the coffin for EWTN. I’m sure the USCCB will be thrilled to hear about this and give a big “I told you so”. With Mother Angelica incapacitated, Deacon Bill nearing the end of his abilities, Fr. Angelus ending his term with the Franciscans, and now this, it’s just a matter of time before the USCCB turns the Eternal Word Television Network into the Ecumenical Watered-down Television Network.
 
I am a relatively new Catholic (2004) I was protestant from birth.

I need to have a small rant…

I have/had a problem with how the church (all denominations, not just catholic) treat those who have fallen and how people in the clergy or church leadership hide their secret sins.

In light of these views I am actually quite pleased that Father Francis is taking time away to think.

I would rather see him leave the priesthood to marry, than to stay on as a priest and have illicit, secret relationship(s) that are found out later. More damage is done by those who try to pretend and live falsely, than by those who stand up and confess the truth.

I have great respect for him in this regard.

And look at what we are doing to him. Many of the posts are very hurtful . What do you think this makes people (outside the church) believe about the Lord or the Church?

That if we confess our sins, we will be ostracized and condemned? What is the point? Where is the mercy?

This is an example of why people don’t want to admit sins, it isn’t “safe”. The very people who should support them are doing the most damage.

We (the church body) shoot our wounded, killing them instead of healing them. We, as representatives of the Lord should be ashamed.

Discerning a vocation is difficult. Perhaps (he thinks) he was mistaken that he was actually called to the priesthood in the first place, and became a priest out of a sense of duty or pride.

Even priests who are called; make their vows of their own free will. They are just as free to rescind their vows.

Ok, rant over.
 
S_o_G said:
The east BEGAN to allow marriage in the council of Trullo in the eighth centur. Before that it was a celibate clergy from the beginning. There were some dissenters that disobeyed, but the Apostles were celibate after obtaining Holy Orders.
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NOT.

They were married clergy from the beginning, including the Aposles. (St. Peter’s mother in law, remember?) As for “celibate after obtaining Holy Orders,” how do you reconcile that with I Corinthians, 7:24 and the qualifications of bishop (at the time the parish priests) stating that he be the husband of one wife.

Mandatory celibacy didn’t occur until Elvira in Spain. At the First Ecumenical Council St. Paphnouti spoke out for the married clergy, and the Council wisely followed him.

Please send replies to this in the Eastern Christian Forum.

As for the subject at hand: if the woman in question does not want to be involved (and we do not know that she does, or did anything to encourage it), that does not mean Father should just resume priestly duties. The priesthood is not a consolation prize.

He may not have done anything, said anything on his feelings. He may not even be on the point when he wants to act on them (I missed most of the announcement). It can be that he has found these feelings and even BEFORE they become a reason for scandal, or even a reason to leave the priesthood, he has decided to examine them and nip them in the bud.

There were signs? Maybe. I’m not so sure how a group of celibates would be so good at reading such signs. Some might. Many I know wouldn’t have a clue.

To sum up: there may be nothing more than certain unfamiliar feelings have occured in Father and he has decided to concentrate on discerning them, rather than ignoring them and asking for trouble. I’m afraid I find that a wise course.

Rather than let the world speculate, EWTN decided to lay out the truth as far as is necessary to avoid scandal. Again, a wise choice, IMHO.
 
TGBTG said:
I feel EXACTLY the same way…Word for word. I cannot get over it, hence here I am at 4AM on this site, instead of properly sleeping!!!
You know, it’s too bad this was not just some silly Halloween “trick” !!! instead of such a betrayal.
I also feel so terribly sad for Mother Angelica to have to have seen this happen. She has already undergone so much.
Father’s actions really could be thought of, all in all, as very selfish - and immature - in that he did not truly consider his responsibility as a role model (after all these years hosting LOTR especially) to all the young adults who have watched and followed him while he let his thought life get so out of control. PRAY that he returns to his senses.
I am ALSO sorry to be so negative, but this is a hugely negative and stunning occurance, and I think everyone was blindsided. I imagine there is great pain all around the network tonight - and will be for a long time to come, as well as in the homes of tens of thousands of viewers worldwide.
Yes, this is very serious.
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Selfish and immature? What?

I don’t know what exactly has transpired AND NEITHER DO YOU, do you?

We can speculate all the way to that the woman is pregnant with his child to that he just has had feelings more than the usual charity and he has decided to examine them, and anything inbetween. For all we know, he has never spoken to the woman about this “closeness” and could have decided to cut off all contact as soon as he became aware of them.

Yes, this is very serious.

Don’t fill in the blank spaces with inuendo, and what one THINKS God is demanding of Father.
 
Does everyone just think this was a spur of the moment surprise Fr. Francis brought upon Life on the Rock by taking a leave of absence or do you think it was in the works earlier? Did you notice that just recently they have had Fr. Mark on the couch next to the guests when they were being interviewed by Fr. Francis? He would add a question or two and converse briefly with the guests as Fr. Francis lead the interview as usual. This seems as though it just happened recently that Fr. Mark appeared in the interviews. Do you think that Fr. Francis let them know earlier about this leave of absence was going to happen and they were slowly easing and helping Fr. Mark prepare to take over with him being involved in the interviews on the couch recently?
 
wow, there are many Catholics in this thread making assumptions about the story without having the whole story.

hmmm, Father is simply discerning what may be a detour in a life he chose, thats not a sin. Give the guy a break, he’s being honest and up front about dealing with normal heterosexual feelings that every priest with a pulse deals with. he’s struggles with it like everyone else does, short of any eunichs who might be reading this.

but i’m fairly sure gossip is a sin.
 
chicago said:
It ought to be recalled that Fr. Francis is not the first priest from their community to take a leave of absence to discern his future. At least two others have done the same. Though the network never fully revealed (to my knowledge) their reasons for doing so. At best, they suggested that one had become burnt out and needed a sabbatical break while discerning his direction. I don’t think that the community ever announced the final dispositions of these priests. They just disappeared into the setting sun. So, in a way, this is nothing new for them.
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I was not aware of this. I don’t remember it, anyway. Must need more ginko pills!😉 Even three is not a huge number in the scheme of things for a twenty-five year period. I am sure there are a few sisters at EWTN who don’t stay or need to discern a bit, as well.​

NEW THOUGHT-

In any event- We are not talking about certain evangelical pastors who sinned and made public scandal, had their wives leave them, had their theme park go under, etc. This is really being handled with much finese, and grace, and charity.
 
Enoch said:
Who the heck allowed a monk to get that close to a young, unmarried woman anyway? This is a perfect example of why Mother Angelica has kept such a short leash on the Poor Clares.

This is what happens when you have monks trying to make a religious vocation seem cool by acting too chummy with the public and the religious sisters. It is not “cool”, it’s sacred and a very serious thing.
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Technically, they are Friars, not Monks whose job it is to go out into the world and minister to the poor and preach the Gospel, according to the tradition of St. Francis. Monks live in Monasteries and Friars live in Friaries. Not that I think ministering to a (I assume young) widow was a very prudent thing to do for a handsome priest like Fr. Francis!
Enoch said:
This is just another nail in the coffin for EWTN. I’m sure the USCCB will be thrilled to hear about this and give a big “I told you so”. With Mother Angelica incapacitated, Deacon Bill nearing the end of his abilities, Fr. Angelus ending his term with the Franciscans, and now this, it’s just a matter of time before the USCCB turns the Eternal Word Television Network into the Ecumenical Watered-down Television Network.
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I can’t help but think about Raymond Arroyo’s biography of Mother Angelica. Two things are sticking out in my mind for me: 1) Raymond’s (in my judgement) condesending language about Archbishop Weakland’s having to resign amidst a sex scandal, and 2) When Raymond asked Mother about the future of EWTN shortly before her stroke, she looked at him straight in the eye and said “nothing lasts forever, honey.”
 
Celibacy is not a dogma, its a discipline. The early church did not have this discipline. I think with a possible TAC reunion and more orthodox Catholic priests having to re-discern their vocations, the time is coming for an end to the celibacy rule for priests in the Western Rite. I hope, if the TAC reunities it will spur that. It can’t but help to do so. I think in a way the TAC situation is partially a move by the Spirit to end this discipline. We’ll see.
 
whatevergirl said:
I think we should be placing much of this responsibility on the widow, though, too. I mean, a priest? Interested in a relationship with a priest? I know she is vulnerable being a widow, but evil is at work here, I think, when someone is able to “tempt” a priest.😦 Not that she herself is evil–but evil is seeping in…and typically does, when we are at our weak points…it finds an opening, and then bam…if you give the devil an inch, he’ll take a mile.😦
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It is important to remember that a priest is, ultimately, just another man… a human being just like you and I. The fact that he is a priest gives him a special role and minsitry in the life of the community. It offers a special grace to his person as such and empowers him to celebrate sacraments and represent Christ in a way that others are not able. But, his being a priest in no way diminishes his humanity.

We need to be careful, then, of looking at priests in a way which is entirely separatist. Are they in some ways distinct by their very priesthood? Yes. But in many more ways they are the same.

Fr, John Mary, then, is (when it really comes down to it) just “John” (or whatever his birth name actually is.) He’s a guy with natural human desires, tendencies, struggles, concupisciences. He has natural impulses for love and caring. Similarly, a woman who is helped by him may see that and understand it in a way that the average person who merely sees a “priest” does not and treat him as such, while he expresses his natural sensibilities of love and caring towards her and her children.

While it is difficult for us, therefore, to face the fact that he is struggling with this matter, it should not be so surprizing. Yes, he is a priest, but he is first a man. Perhaps, in order to understand his challenge, we need to respect him more as a man lest we leap to any rash conclusions.
 
Isa_Almisry said:
NOT.

They were married clergy from the beginning, including the Aposles. (St. Peter’s mother in law, remember?) As for “celibate after obtaining Holy Orders,” how do you reconcile that with I Corinthians, 7:24 and the qualifications of bishop (at the time the parish priests) stating that he be the husband of one wife.

Mandatory celibacy didn’t occur until Elvira in Spain. At the First Ecumenical Council St. Paphnouti spoke out for the married clergy, and the Council wisely followed him.

Please send replies to this in the Eastern Christian Forum.

As for the subject at hand: if the woman in question does not want to be involved (and we do not know that she does, or did anything to encourage it), that does not mean Father should just resume priestly duties. The priesthood is not a consolation prize.

He may not have done anything, said anything on his feelings. He may not even be on the point when he wants to act on them (I missed most of the announcement). It can be that he has found these feelings and even BEFORE they become a reason for scandal, or even a reason to leave the priesthood, he has decided to examine them and nip them in the bud.

There were signs? Maybe. I’m not so sure how a group of celibates would be so good at reading such signs. Some might. Many I know wouldn’t have a clue.

To sum up: there may be nothing more than certain unfamiliar feelings have occured in Father and he has decided to concentrate on discerning them, rather than ignoring them and asking for trouble. I’m afraid I find that a wise course.

Rather than let the world speculate, EWTN decided to lay out the truth as far as is necessary to avoid scandal. Again, a wise choice, IMHO.
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I don’t understand the orthodox/traditional catholic clinging to celibacy. It didn’t exist for the many first centuries and the church basically converted Rome.

Celibacy has become a “work” IMHO - the kind Paul condemns in Scritpure over and over again.
 
There is an old movie, The Cardinal, which would be advisable for viewing.

imdb.com/title/tt0056907/

Well done, intelligent and insightful, it is no mere sugar coated Catholicism. Rather, it raises very serious and pertinent questions which were particularly notable in its time of release (the early 60s) and offers a real look at the very human challenges of life and faith.

At one point, a faithful (almost to a fault) priest has to walk away. He has no other choice, with where he is in life. He needs a break from it all and just can not handle the additional responsibilities and fidelity which is being asked of him. During his period of sabbatical release from ministry, while he is secularized in service, he meets an attractive woman and starts to go out with her. It proves no small challenge nor insignificant step to decide which way he wants to move from there. (Unfortunately, his decision process is, perhaps, a bit undeveloped in reaching resolution.)

Even a very dedicated, faithful priest can have real issues like this. It is not a mere matter of him falling from grace or turning his back on God. It is a human struugle which is honest and genuine. Such things will come in each of our lives to varying degrees. Often, there are no simple solutions. We must just admit to their existance and deal with them in all of the messy difficulty which they offer. Such is not a disgrace, but the honorable and right thing to do.
 
Joey1976 said:
On the other hand if he leaves the Priesthood i think it will be a great tragedy as there are probably many young men who watch the show and are considering the Priesthood and may think if Fr. Francis can’t even hack it, how could I? It could discourage men form entering the Priesthood. I am hopeful somethnig good will come of this.
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While you are probably correct, to some extent, I think that this may also offer the opportunity to give young men (and others) a more realistic insight into humanity and priesthood, along with all of its difficulties, rather than a mere idealized view.
 
I have children close to your age Fr Francis.

If I were your mother, this would be my letter to you:
Code: 
Dear Son,
I am so proud you are my son. I will always love you and will always pray for you. In fact, I have doubled my rosaries since you told me your sad news. I think I will also ask Bishop Sheen to intercede for your soul. I will ask all my friends to ask Bishop Sheen for a “miracle” to bring you back to loving the priesthood more than a widow.
Let me tell you a story about a widow. Her name was Elizabeth Taylor. When her husband died, Eddie Fisher lent her his shoulder to cry on. Eddie Fisher was married to my favorite actress at that time, Debbie Reynolds. A woman in mourning can become extremely desirable for a man…even a man with a beautiful loving wife like Debbie. Eddie admitted that he loved to be “needed” in the time of sadness. Believe me, Son, widows can make even the strongest man’s heart melt if they feel they are needed. As the story goes, the widow Elizabeth seduced Eddie into marrying her. The marriage was brief, but it ruined the marriage Eddie had with Debbie Reynolds.
Please, my dear son, don’t let a widow seduce you from your chosen profession. Don’t be weak like Eddie Fisher.
I remember when you came out to San Francisco for the 25th EWTN anniversary. The next week on LOTR you made the comment that when you are “on the road” you are treated like a Rock Star. I hope that travelling around didn’t blow up your ego. You have mentioned more than once that you feel like a Rock star. Here is my advice to you my dear son. Please…I beg you…please contact Father Corapi and spend some time with him. He knows what it is like to be a Rock star. Maybe he can help you during this crisis. Maybe he can bring you back down to earth. I love you son. But right now, all I can do is pray for you. As Bishop Sheen would say, “God love you!”
Love, “Mom”
 
You tell um Mom!

Don’t forget to keep the Friars and the EWTN employees in your prayers - I am sure they are all pretty upset by all this too.

God Bless!
Rita Ann
 
onetruechurch said:
I have children close to your age Fr Francis.

If I were your mother, this would be my letter to you:
Code: 
Dear Son,
I am so proud you are my son. I will always love you and will always pray for you. In fact, I have doubled my rosaries since you told me your sad news. I think I will also ask Bishop Sheen to intercede for your soul. I will ask all my friends to ask Bishop Sheen for a “miracle” to bring you back to loving the priesthood more than a widow.
Let me tell you a story about a widow. Her name was Elizabeth Taylor. When her husband died, Eddie Fisher lent her his shoulder to cry on. Eddie Fisher was married to my favorite actress at that time, Debbie Reynolds. A woman in mourning can become extremely desirable for a man…even a man with a beautiful loving wife like Debbie. Eddie admitted that he loved to be “needed” in the time of sadness. Believe me, Son, widows can make even the strongest man’s heart melt if they feel they are needed. As the story goes, the widow Elizabeth seduced Eddie into marrying her. The marriage was brief, but it ruined the marriage Eddie had with Debbie Reynolds.
Please, my dear son, don’t let a widow seduce you from your chosen profession. Don’t be weak like Eddie Fisher.
I remember when you came out to San Francisco for the 25th EWTN anniversary. The next week on LOTR you made the comment that when you are “on the road” you are treated like a Rock Star. I hope that travelling around didn’t blow up your ego. You have mentioned more than once that you feel like a Rock star. Here is my advice to you my dear son. Please…I beg you…please contact Father Corapi and spend some time with him. He knows what it is like to be a Rock star. Maybe he can help you during this crisis. Maybe he can bring you back down to earth. I love you son. But right now, all I can do is pray for you. As Bishop Sheen would say, “God love you!”
Love, “Mom”
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What a perfect letter. I think you should send it to EWTN and ask that they please consider fowarding it to him. It really is beautiful - and wise.
 
Our priests are the product of our prayers, sacrifices, mortifications and offerings. This (and the many other occurrences with Priests in the church lately) is proof of the need our priests have for our prayer and COMPLETE conversion.

Many of us think we are already but we need to take a good look at our lives and make sure that we are not choosy Catholics.

*“If you believe what you like in the gospels, and reject what you don’t like, it is not the gospel you believe but yourself.” *- Saint Augustine

We need to pray very hard for our priests and all religious for they are the ones that are most tempted by the devil. And remember, all of our sufferings and sacrifice have unbelievably redeeming value. Offer it all up to God for our priests.

Blessings…
 
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