Friday abstinence - any exceptions? URGENT

  • Thread starter Thread starter houston1
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
H

houston1

Guest
Help! My husband and I have been invited to dinner by another couple who we do not know very well tomorrow evening, a Friday during lent (basically, one of my students that I teach English to has made the invitation - in addition to not knowing her well, there is also a language barrier). What do I do if they serve us meat? Can I get an dispensation so that we can eat the meat if she serves it? I am sure that she would be very embarassed if my husband and I don’t eat what she serves. What can we do? This is extremely awkward.

Thanks and God bless.
 
Well if they are Catholic…they should not be serving meat…and one would need to not eat it on that account too…due to scandal.

But if they are not Catholic…you can get a dispensation from your PASTOR …and then if it were me I would even say that ordinarily you do not eat meat on Fridays of lent…but in their case you got a dispensation…

(I assume it is only them there…and you)

Or you can just speak to them …people understand even cultural things…and vegetarians …so it can be a good opportunity to evangelize too…

they may just move it to Saturday!
 
houston1 said:
Help! My husband and I have been invited to dinner by another couple who we do not know very well tomorrow evening, a Friday during lent (basically, one of my students that I teach English to has made the invitation - in addition to not knowing her well, there is also a language barrier). What do I do if they serve us meat? Can I get an dispensation so that we can eat the meat if she serves it? I am sure that she would be very embarassed if my husband and I don’t eat what she serves. What can we do? This is extremely awkward.

Thanks and God bless.
Click to expand...
I am quite sure that you can get a dispensation. I am not even sure that you need to call your pastor, but if I were you I would call. We always must remember that the laws of the Church are for our good. They are designed to improve our understanding and our relationship with God.
 
Cristiano said:
I am quite sure that you can get a dispensation. I am not even sure that you need to call your pastor, but if I were you I would call. We always must remember that the laws of the Church are for our good. They are designed to improve our understanding and our relationship with God.
Click to expand...
yes he would need to call their Pastor…not just any Priest…
 
houston1 said:
Help! My husband and I have been invited to dinner by another couple who we do not know very well tomorrow evening, a Friday during lent (basically, one of my students that I teach English to has made the invitation - in addition to not knowing her well, there is also a language barrier). What do I do if they serve us meat? Can I get an dispensation so that we can eat the meat if she serves it? I am sure that she would be very embarassed if my husband and I don’t eat what she serves. What can we do? This is extremely awkward.

Thanks and God bless.
Click to expand...
Simply inform them that you cannot eat meat on fridays.

vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/apost_constitutions/documents/hf_p-vi_apc_19660217_paenitemini_en.html

CHAPTER III

Therefore, the following is declared and established:
  1. Apart from the faculties referred to in VI and VIII regarding the manner of fulfilling the precept of penitence on such days,** abstinence is to be observed on every Friday which does not fall on a day of obligation**, while abstinence and fast is to be observed on Ash Wednesday or, according to the various practices of the rites, on the first day of “Grande Quaresima” (Great Lent) and on Good Friday.
III. 1. The law of abstinence forbids the use of meat, but not of eggs, the products of milk or condiments made of animal fat.
  1. The law of fasting allows only one full meal a day, but does not prohibit taking some food in the morning and evening, observing—as far as quantity and quality are concerned—approved local custom.
 
Dispensation is not an exception…

It must come from one who has the authority to grant it…the Pastor or Bishop (or those he otherwise delegates)
 
St. Paul wrote that we should not fuss about the food we eat. If you are someone’s guest and they serve you meat during days of fast, then you eat the meat. Would you rather decline and offend your brother? Now you have kept the fast but offended your brother. Which is a worse offense?

St. Paul further writes that the only food we absolutely should never partake of under any circumstances are those offered to pagan gods.
 
Thanks for the replies. I read the following off the ewtn website. Are the **bolded **items a correct statement for an excuse from Friday abstience? See the link for more information.

“Those who are excused from fast or abstinence Besides those outside the age limits, those of unsound mind, the sick, the frail, pregnant or nursing women according to need for meat or nourishment, manual laborers according to need, guests at a meal who cannot excuse themselves without giving great offense or causing enmity and other situations of moral or physical impossibility to observe the penitential discipline.”

ewtn.com/faith/lent/fast.htm

What do you all think? Am I okay to eat meat in the situation that I described?
 
As I mentioned in my post, yes. Its in the writing of St. Paul, its in scripture. Fasting should give us a spiritual advantage. Making a fuss with other people because of fasting does not give us a spiritual advantage.
 
The only exception to the no meat on Fridays rule is if the Friday is a Solemnity on the Church calendar. And tomorrow is not one.

By the way, you should suggest an alternative penitential act as a substitute when requesting a dispensation from your pastor:

Can. 1245 Without prejudice to the right of diocesan bishops mentioned in can. 87, for a just cause and according to the prescripts of the diocesan bishop, a pastor can grant in individual cases a dispensation from the obligation of observing a feast day or a day of penance or can grant a commutation of the obligation into other pious works. A superior of a religious institute or society of apostolic life, if they are clerical and of pontifical right, can also do this in regard to his own subjects and others living in the house day and night.
 
ConstantineTG said:
St. Paul wrote that we should not fuss about the food we eat. If you are someone’s guest and they serve you meat during days of fast, then you eat the meat. Would you rather decline and offend your brother? Now you have kept the fast but offended your brother. Which is a worse offense?

St. Paul further writes that the only food we absolutely should never partake of under any circumstances are those offered to pagan gods.
Click to expand...
Paul is not talking about our current obligation to fast.

However the person involved can seek a dispensation if he would like to eat meat on a Friday of Lent.
 
markomalley said:
By the way, you should suggest an alternative penitential act as a substitute when requesting a dispensation from your pastor:

Can. 1245 Without prejudice to the right of diocesan bishops mentioned in can. 87, for a just cause and according to the prescripts of the diocesan bishop, a pastor can grant in individual cases a dispensation from the obligation of observing a feast day or a day of penance or can grant a commutation of the obligation into other pious works. A superior of a religious institute or society of apostolic life, if they are clerical and of pontifical right, can also do this in regard to his own subjects and others living in the house day and night.
Click to expand...
👍
 
You can also simply explain that because of religious reasons, you can not eat meat on Fridays during Lent. Eat everything but the meat.

I have done this a number of times, and have never had a problem with it. In fact, I have even had Protastant friends who thought this was a very worthwhile sacrifice.
 
I know there is a “local coustom precludes” I’d talk to your pastor if you cannot adequatly communicate with your hosts. There not only Spanish people at my store, but Hatian French, Brazilian and others…when we had a pot luck one year it would of been VERY offensive not to try their foods.

I talked to a good priest, he said that I did the right thing (and suggested a secondary penance) becuase it would of been culturally offensive not to eat the offerings.
 
Bookcat said:
Paul is not talking about our current obligation to fast.

However the person involved can seek a dispensation if he would like to eat meat on a Friday of Lent.
Click to expand...
No, it applies there as well. The point was, do we create enmity between ourselves and our brothers and sisters because of fasting? When we are guests, we should not make a fuss. We can fast for the rest of the day, we can offer more prayers, do more acts of charity and love. But point is at that moment of time when you are served food, do not offend your hosts.
 
houston1 said:
Thanks for the replies. I read the following off the ewtn website. Are the **bolded **items a correct statement for an excuse from Friday abstience? See the link for more information.

“Those who are excused from fast or abstinence Besides those outside the age limits, those of unsound mind, the sick, the frail, pregnant or nursing women according to need for meat or nourishment, manual laborers according to need, guests at a meal who cannot excuse themselves without giving great offense or causing enmity and other situations of moral or physical impossibility to observe the penitential discipline.”

ewtn.com/faith/lent/fast.htm

What do you all think? Am I okay to eat meat in the situation that I described?
Click to expand...
Well you’d have to answer the question - “Can I excuse myself?” (meet another night?) And will refusing meat give “great offense?”.

Only you can answer these questions.

Peace
James
 
We got into this situation some years ago … some civic function on GOOD FRIDAY … the meal was Beef bourguignon … Everybody dug in, except us. We just poked around the noodles. It smelled so good.

But we observed the abstinence.

And, maybe a few people noticed and wondered why.

Maybe the chef noticed and next time will add a non-meat offering to the dinner.

Good witnessing for the faith.

My advice: call your host and say, “Gee I hope you’re not having meat because we don’t eat meat on Fridays in Lent.”

Read up on the reasons for abstinence and have a 30-second pleasant “elevator speech” prepared so you can explain if they ask.
 
ConstantineTG said:
No, it applies there as well. The point was, do we create enmity between ourselves and our brothers and sisters because of fasting? When we are guests, we should not make a fuss. We can fast for the rest of the day, we can offer more prayers, do more acts of charity and love. But point is at that moment of time when you are served food, do not offend your hosts.
Click to expand...
Nope. Paul is talking about eating meat that others fear was offered to idols etc…and thereby causing others to eat with bad consciences and to thus to sin…(and thus one sins too by leading them into such by scandal)…he was not referring to “not abstaining from it” so as not to offend ones host.

As to the Friday abstenence…he can seek a dispensation from his Pastor…or even talk directly with them (people understand these things)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top