Friday abstinence - any exceptions? URGENT

[Annabelle_Marie]

You can also simply explain that because of religious reasons, you can not eat meat on Fridays during Lent. Eat everything but the meat.

I have done this a number of times, and have never had a problem with it. In fact, I have even had Protastant friends who thought this was a very worthwhile sacrifice.

I think this is a great idea…you should talk with them beforehand so they know. I just had to do this at work. I am abstaining and fasting all the Weds before Lent…yesterday was my birthday. I asked everyone if they could not bring in treats that day and why. They respected my choice and brought them in today. No big deal…no offense. I think if they made a fuss or said they already bought a big beef roast or something then you could persue other options…

 

[bluerose]

Here’s my story:

About four years ago, my husband was asked to be best man at the wedding of a good friend of his, who happened to be a very strict Fundamentalist (a slight pause while everyone how a strict Fundamentalist gets to be such good friends with a devout Catholic that he asks him to be his best man… hmm, done? Okay…)

Quandry No. 1–The wedding date happened to be on Holy Saturday. After conferring with a couple of priests and assuring them that it was to be a valid marriage with no impediments and that it was going to be a simple ceremony (DH was just going to wear a tux, hand the groom the ring, and sign the marriage certificate as a witness) with no kind of communion or any kind of worship service, and that these folk were adverse to serving any kind of alcohol and there was to be no dancing or music, he was given the green light to particpate (please note that the last would not have been a problem had the wedding not been on Holy Saturday.)

Quandry No. 2-- The rehearsal dinner was to be held on Good Friday. They were originally from Texas. They were planning a barbecue. DH called his friend the week before and said, “Look, I just want to let you know so that you’re not caught off guard, but we won’t be able to eat any meat at the rehearsal dinner. We will be there after our Good Friday services but this is a day of fasting and abstaining from meat for us. Please don’t worry about the dinner, please don’t go to any trouble to prepare anything different for us, I just want you to know so that you and your family aren’t offended if we don’t partake of the main course.” His friend thanked him for letting him know and assured us that there would be salad and… something that wouldn’t have meat for us to eat, but DH assured him that we would be fine. Well, bless their hearts, they made a pot of vegetarian beans, which the groom’s father made a point to stress the “vegetarian” part of it, probably so as not to scandalize the other family members and the rest of the wedding party with the fact that his son had chosen a gasp CATHOLIC to stand up as his best man.

Then we went and blew our cover by making the sign of the cross when the minister offered the meal blessing.

Anyway, there were no hard feelings, the groom and his family were very understanding that we Catholics have, you know, some weird customs and, despite that, they liked us well enough to include us on this special occasion. And we’ve all lived happily ever after!

 

[LilyM]

I think the key is letting them know early, at least before they start the cooking!

Any reasonably intelligent person understands that there are a whole bunch of reasons (ranging from medical to ethical to religious) why some folks don’t eat meat or certain other foods. Jews and people with allergies might not have shellfish, Muslims and vegetarians would have no pork, and so on and so forth.

If you tell someone ahead of time, and they either don’t cater for your dietary needs or get offended if you don’t eat a particular dish or dishes, then they are being an incredibly poor host.

 

[Barbkw]

Houston,

I heard you on the radio.

Over.

 

[baltobetsy]

Eat all the side dishes and push a tiny bit of the meat dish around your plate without eating it. Spend more time conversing than eating.

 

[houston1]

Houston,

I heard you on the radio.

Over.

I wondered if anyone would notice! Yesterday, I talked to my parish priest to get a dispensation, another priest friend of mine, and Jimmy Akin on Catholic Answers! I think I’ve got the bases covered!

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I wondered if anyone would notice! Yesterday, I talked to my parish priest to get a dispensation, another priest friend of mine, and Jimmy Akin on Catholic Answers! I think I’ve got the bases covered!

So share…what did Jimmy Akin say?

 

[Brendan]

Thanks for the replies. I read the following off the ewtn website. Are the **bolded **items a correct statement for an excuse from Friday abstience? See the link for more information.

“Those who are excused from fast or abstinence Besides those outside the age limits, those of unsound mind, the sick, the frail, pregnant or nursing women according to need for meat or nourishment, manual laborers according to need, guests at a meal who cannot excuse themselves without giving great offense or causing enmity and other situations of moral or physical impossibility to observe the penitential discipline.”

I pulled up something very similar from Fr. Heribert Jone’s “Moral Theology” ( which was a common pre-Vatican II moral theology textbook for the seminarys).

Thus a similar provision was made, even before Vatican II.

The recommendation in Jone’s is to substitute another nearby day for abstinence. Wed are another penitiental day, so that might be a good substitition

 

[houston1]

So share…what did Jimmy Akin say?

He basically explained the ewtn post that I listed above and said that it was a matter of judgement what is considered “grave offense” and that if I was uncertain in my situation I could call my priest to get a dispensation (which is what I had done earlier in the day). You can listen to the archived show later today. I think I got on the show within the first 20 mins (certainly before the 1st half hour).

Here is a link to the archived shows.

catholic.com/radio/calendar.php

 

[houston1]

He basically explained the ewtn post that I listed above and said that it was a matter of judgement what is considered “grave offense” and that if I was uncertain in my situation I could call my priest to get a dispensation (which is what I had done earlier in the day). You can listen to the archived show later today. I think I got on the show within the first 20 mins (certainly before the 1st half hour).

Here is a link to the archived shows.

catholic.com/radio/calendar.php

I could be wrong on my timing on when I got on the show. I was very nervous.