Friends are getting engaged

[Springchick]

Ok so i visited my boyfriend and two of our friends this weekend, well ok. The friend of my bf is catholic his girlfriend just became catholic, so they can get married in the church according to their diocese.
Well this gf of my bfs friend asked if I was gonna ask my boyfriend to convert to the church. I said no, and she was taken a little aback by it, in my diocese were so diverse that we don’t mind if you don’t convert, you just have to have the bishop bless it ahead of time to prove that it will be legal in the eyes of the church.
I mean to be honest, I don’t care where I get married as long as it’s to my boyfriend. It could be in the middle of a cornfield and I wouldn’t mind.

And another thing… this friends mom doesn’t really like us as a couple because we sleep in the bed when we’re not married, and I’m guessing because my bf isn’t catholic

 

[dollysro]

I said no, and she was taken a little aback by it, in my diocese were so diverse that we don’t mind if you don’t convert, you just have to have the bishop bless it ahead of time to prove that it will be legal in the eyes of the church.
Ok, that is the case in all parishes, not just yours.
I mean to be honest, I don’t care where I get married as long as it’s to my boyfriend. It could be in the middle of a cornfield and I wouldn’t mind.
Then you are not looking for a sacrament?
And another thing… this friends mom doesn’t really like us as a couple because we sleep in the bed when we’re not married, and I’m guessing because my bf isn’t catholic
I am guessing it’s because you sleep together before being married.
Sounds like the Catholic faith doesn’t mean much to you. Why are you posting here? Asking for a friend.

 

[1ke]

in my diocese

That’s the universal law is the church, not just your diocese. A person should convert because they believe what the Church teaches, not to please someone else. You can marry a non-Catholic or a non-Christian in the Catholic Church.

I don’t care where I get married as long as it’s to my boyfriend

To be married anywhere other than your parish church with a priest or deacon and two witnesses requires a dispensation from your bishop to be valid. Please talk to your priest if you plan to marry somewhere else.

this friends mom doesn’t really like us as a couple because we sleep in the bed when we’re not married,

You should talk to your priest about this. Unmarried people should NOT be sleeping together. I’m not sure if you just mean sleeping or if you mean sexual relations. Sleeping in the same bed is unwise. Sexual relations is a serious sin.

Either way, your friend’s mother has concerns.

and I’m guessing because my bf isn’t catholic

You don’t know that. And it’s not anyone’s business that your boyfriend isn’t Catholic.

However since he isn’t, you should both speak to your pastor for premarital counseling.

 

[Irishmom2]

I am confused by your post, @Springchick.

Is there a question or is this just a post to vent?

 

[Psalm30]

to be honest, I don’t care where I get married as long as it’s to my boyfriend. It could be in the middle of a cornfield and I wouldn’t mind.

To be honest, you don’t sound like you care very much about the Catholic Church if you think it would be perfectly fine to get married in the middle of a cornfield as long as it’s to your boyfriend. Are you aware of that your marriage wouldn’t be valid if you got married anywhere other than in a Catholic Church without the proper dispensation?

I said no, and she was taken a little aback by it, in my diocese were so diverse that we don’t mind if you don’t convert, you just have to have the bishop bless it ahead of time to prove that it will be legal in the eyes of the church.

If she thinks both spouses have to be Catholic to get married in the Church, she’s wrong. The Church doesn’t want people to convert just to please their spouse (or to be allowed to marry their spouse). They want people to convert because they believe in the Church and want to be Catholic.

And another thing… this friends mom doesn’t really like us as a couple because we sleep in the bed when we’re not married

It’s a sin to have sex when you’re not married. If you sleep in the same bed but don’t have sex, you’re putting yourself in a near occasion of sin and that’s also not okay.

and I’m guessing because my bf isn’t catholic

There are many successful marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics. However, there are also many marriages between Catholics and non-Catholics that present great challenges, especially when it comes to raising children in the Faith, using NFP rather than contraception, and things like Mass attendance (why do we kids have to go to church when Daddy doesn’t?). It’s definitely something to take under careful consideration before making a serious, lifelong commitment.

 

[Springchick]

Sorta both. I was tired so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense

 

[TC3033]

The friend of my bf is catholic his girlfriend just became catholic, so they can get married in the church according to their diocese.

This makes no sense. Are you saying their parish won’t marry a couple if one of the individuals isn’t Catholic??

in my diocese were so diverse

TBH, that’s the way they’re all supposed to be (but I’ve had the experience of how some do seem to find ways to say no).

I’m guessing because my bf isn’t catholic

You don’t know for sure, but eh…sometimes it happens.

 

[Springchick]

Well to be honest I don’t attend church that often, my mom kinda fell away from the church when she married my step dad, also a non catholic, but we are raising my little brothers in the church. He’s close to my moms family who’s catholic.

My dads side is really laid back when it comes to where we get married. And I need to talk to my moms dad about his opinion on it. My bf and I both have three sides to think about when the times comes.

 

[Psalm30]

Yes, in their dioceses if the future spouse isn’t catholic the future mil has a right to take her under her wing and basically control her, right now she’s controlling her future daughter in laws money, when she’s not even legally her blood.

WHAT???

 

[Springchick]

Sorta both. It doesn’t make any sense to me why someone would convert to the church to just get married.

 

[Psalm30]

No lie. It kinda concerns me

I’m sorry but I’m not sure I’m buying this. Maybe you misunderstood?

 

[Springchick]

Oh it’s true, her bfs mom gives her 200 bucks a week from each check. Her check goes straight to her future mil from work. And it’s direct deposit

 

[Psalm30]

Oh it’s true, her bfs mom gives her 200 bucks a week from each check. Her check goes straight to her future mil from work. And it’s direct deposit

If that’s what is going on it’s not because the diocese gives her the “right.” She’s just a controlling person.

 

[Springchick]

She is. She gave me a dirty look when I went to their parish a few months back because of where I’m from. And that I have a large shrine in my area, and 95 percent of my area is catholic.

 

[Psalm30]

Well I’m not sure on that yet. I would love to get married in the church, but a large portion of my family and all of my bfs isn’t catholic. And I wouldn’t want to offend them.

It doesn’t sound like your Faith is important to you. Just saying that as an observation.

 

[Springchick]

I admit it varies.

 

[TC3033]

Oh it’s true, her bfs mom gives her 200 bucks a week from each check. Her check goes straight to her future mil from work. And it’s direct deposit

Where are you at where the Church gives the mom this “right”.

To me it sounds like the mom is a control freak – I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one that told the GF that the diocese “requires” the non-Catholic to convert.

 

[Psalm30]

To me it sounds like the mom is a control freak – I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one that told the GF that the diocese “requires” the non-Catholic to convert.

Yeah. Can’t be sure, but she could be telling the gf that to get her to convert and control her in other ways.

 

[Mrchatsworth]

You sleep beside your boyfriend and aren’t sexually impure!? Wow. I’ve never know that to be possible.

 

[Elf01]

To me it sounds like the mom is a control freak – I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s the one that told the GF that the diocese “requires” the non-Catholic to convert.

I wonder. Permission is required to marry a non Catholic Christian, or a dispensation to marry a non Christian. While I’ve never heard of it being an issue, if that bishop doesn’t give them it may be a problem.