Friends of a gay family member

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absolutebelieve said:
must have edited after i quoted you. In regards to your question, I have one for you.
Are you eye, or tooth, or nail?
I’m not, but I carry them all within me, and they do indeed make up who I am. Cut off my finger and it changes what I am. Same for the “labels” as you call them.
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Yes, I added onto that post. I tried to do it quickly, guess I didn’t.

Okay. If you want to divide up people that’s fine I guess. I don’t. But, if you want to do that then I have a question for you - do you accept every “part” of your father, your friend, your lover? Do you like every part of their body or their mind, their opinions, etc?

I’m not offended in the least that my son doesn’t like me being a Christian. So what? If we’re talking about “parts” of people, then that is a part of who I am. I don’t care if he accepts that. I’m comfortable enough with being who or what I am that I don’t care what others think of me.
 
Mystic_Warrior said:
Yes, I added onto that post. I tried to do it quickly, guess I didn’t.

Okay. If you want to divide up people that’s fine I guess. I don’t. But, if you want to do that then I have a question for you - do you accept every “part” of your father, your friend, your lover? Do you like every part of their body or their mind, their opinions, etc?

I’m not offended in the least that my son doesn’t like me being a Christian. So what? If we’re talking about “parts” of people, then that is a part of who I am. I don’t care if he accepts that. I’m comfortable enough with being who or what I am that I don’t care what others think of me.
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really, me being me (that is to say being gay) has actually changed his opinion on things. Again, it is foreign to him, and he thought that there was something wrong with it, morally and mentally. He knows me well enough to know that being gay isn’t one of my mental issues, and now that there’s a familiar face to the homosexual life, he gets very defensive when people deride it, because theyre essentially attacking his son, regardless if they know or not. Personally, I’ve always loved every part of my dad, especially his integrity, but that was probably because he was a single father to me since I was 10, and for four years it was just the two of us, and that allowed us a very different relationship than most fathers and sons have. I’m always grateful for that. I don’t go to church with him, but i don’t give him my opinions on it either, because just as he knows i might not like to hear some of his opinions, i know which ones he wouldn’t like to hear from me.
In regards to lovers, it’s kinda funny. I’ve only had two, one hung himself. The other one, tho i loved him dearly, was really a bad guy, but yes, i loved him, his body, everything. But about a year or so ago, he was in a car accident and lost two fingers, and humbled, tried to get back with me. I seriously couldn’t get over the fingerless him, he wasn’t the same to me anymore, physically, or mentally. he lost two fingers and became someone different, it wasn’t me being shallow, either.
 
absolutebelieve said:
really, me being me (that is to say being gay) has actually changed his opinion on things. Again, it is foreign to him, and he thought that there was something wrong with it, morally and mentally. He knows me well enough to know that being gay isn’t one of my mental issues, and now that there’s a familiar face to the homosexual life, he gets very defensive when people deride it, because theyre essentially attacking his son, regardless if they know or not.
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My opinion on things have somewhat changed. I’ve become more compassionate towards people who are gay that’s for sure. But, I never had a hell fire and brimstone attitude toward people who were gay to begin with. I just accepted them, gay or not. And I know that my son isn’t like a mental case because he is gay.

Exactly, he’s my son. I’ve had people talk bad about him because of his lifestyle and just tell them to back off because they don’t know his story and mostly because they don’t want to talk about him as a person. They just want to preach to him.
Personally, I’ve always loved every part of my dad, especially his integrity, but that was probably because he was a single father to me since I was 10, and for four years it was just the two of us, and that allowed us a very different relationship than most fathers and sons have. I’m always grateful for that. I don’t go to church with him, but i don’t give him my opinions on it either, because just as he knows i might not like to hear some of his opinions, i know which ones he wouldn’t like to hear from me.
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My point was that none of us like every “part” of a person. Lord knows that I don’t like every “part” of my wife and vice-versa. But, we accept each other and love each other regardless. And he doesn’t go to church with me either. And that’s okay. I don’t go to his parties either 😃
In regards to lovers, it’s kinda funny. I’ve only had two, one hung himself. The other one, tho i loved him dearly, was really a bad guy, but yes, i loved him, his body, everything. But about a year or so ago, he was in a car accident and lost two fingers, and humbled, tried to get back with me. I seriously couldn’t get over the fingerless him, he wasn’t the same to me anymore, physically, or mentally. he lost two fingers and became someone different, it wasn’t me being shallow, either.
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I’m sorry to hear about the young man who hung himself. I’ve experienced that with some of my son’s friends too. It’s heartbreaking. Regardless of you or who you are or "what’ you are, I choose to love you as a human being and worthy of love and would never speak badly of you as a person. God wants it that way.
 
Mystic_Warrior said:
My opinion on things have somewhat changed. I’ve become more compassionate towards people who are gay that’s for sure. But, I never had a hell fire and brimstone attitude toward people who were gay to begin with. I just accepted them, gay or not. And I know that my son isn’t like a mental case because he is gay.

Exactly, he’s my son. I’ve had people talk bad about him because of his lifestyle and just tell them to back off because they don’t know his story and mostly because they don’t want to talk about him as a person. They just want to preach to him.

My point was that none of us like every “part” of a person. Lord knows that I don’t like every “part” of my wife and vice-versa. But, we accept each other and love each other regardless. And he doesn’t go to church with me either. And that’s okay. I don’t go to his parties either 😃

I’m sorry to hear about the young man who hung himself. I’ve experienced that with some of my son’s friends too. It’s heartbreaking. Regardless of you or who you are or "what’ you are, I choose to love you as a human being and worthy of love and would never speak badly of you as a person. God wants it that way.
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i missed that second point, but i do agree with it. As for the suicide, it was a truly messed up situation, and it had more to do with his drug problems and (non) family life than anything else. i hope he’s been able to find some peace.
 
absolutebelieve said:
i missed that second point, but i do agree with it. As for the suicide, it was a truly messed up situation, and it had more to do with his drug problems and (non) family life than anything else. i hope he’s been able to find some peace.
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And I forgot to add that not only do I choose to love you, but respect you as a person too, regardless of whether or not we agree with each other on issues.
 
So, can I adopt you too? 😃

I’m so glad that you have such a loving and caring father. You are blessed. I’m proud to call my son my own and I’m sure your father is proud of you too.
 
Mystic_Warrior said:
So, can I adopt you too? 😃

I’m so glad that you have such a loving and caring father. You are blessed. I’m proud to call my son my own and I’m sure your father is proud of you too.
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Well, i do have an internet mom (she’s awesome, sends me comics all the time!) so I don’t see why not!

and really, I am very lucky. He’s the only evidence i have in this world that there could possibly be a God. It’s too bad the majority of his believers have to be so off-putting.
 
I simply don’t pass judgement and accept the family member like any other family member. I will not castigate family members for any reason.
 
SuzyRose45 said:
I can love my gay family member…but cannot accept the gay lifestyle. How do I deal with, meet, accept, celebrate holidays with their gay partner? Or do I refuse to allow them into my home and thereby causing the family member to withdraw as well?
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Why is this even an issue ? People are people first, & anything else second. Do people have to be virtuous in order to be tolerable company ? If so, that’s a lot of Catholics ruled out; to get away from those whom counts as vicious, one would need to be a family, & a Church, of one. http://www.theologyweb.com/forum/images/smilies/thumbsdown.gif http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/travesmilies/sternzeichen/smilie_loewe.gif http://www.tnfj.com/Images/Smilies/argue.gif :eek:​

 
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