Frustrated with all the talking after Mass

[nanacat]

Hello again.

Thanks for all the thoughts.

Today I realized I need to lighten up and quit looking at the splinter in the other guy’s eye and concentrate on the redwood tree that blocks my own eyes.

Bravo, good for you. That’s taking the message of our Lord and applying it to real life.

Very grateful for these forums. Please keep me in your prayers.

Me too. Will do.

 

[Newbie2]

You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to silence a noisy parish. Learn to control your own reaction to the noise rather than trying to control and silence others. Have you been to a library lately? Sign of the times.

Find another Mass time or find another parish. Be cautious about crusading against the cacophony, for no one can hear you above the dismal din. Before and after Mass, no one can hear you unless you scream.

This is such a coincidence. Just today I wrote a letter to my pastor at my home parish about noise after Mass. it is normal occurrence but today there was a large family group catching up on things, the ladies setting up for a funeral yelling across the church, and the Rosary ladies shouting the Rosary as if the Blessed Mother was hard of hearing.** Each group got louder and louder trying to be heard over the others. **I like to pray after Mass and I tried to tolerate it for at least 15 minutes before I had to leave. I also wrote a letter to the pastoral council.

I only go to mass at home parish twice a week and it is always noisy after mass but today was the worst.

wow. Let’s shout the Rosary.

My reaction is that to expect near silence after mass in most parishes is an unrealistic expectation. Part of that, methinks, is the fault of design of the churches, that and the cost to build churches with sufficient space for parishioners to “meet and greet” afterward or beforehand in an area where sound will not carry into the sanctuary and/or tabernacle area(s).

Personally, and I realize many might disagree with me:

1. While I respect those who like to engage in adoration after mass, I don’t get it. You just took our Lord inside of you; he’s become a part of you. What more intimate way can you associate him with yourself by merely being in his presence? Certainly you should not be interrupted or distracted from your adoration, and I certainly don’t want to sound uncharitable, but it seems to me to be a little selfish to expect the entire congregation to be silent when they leave after mass. Waiting 10 minutes will solve the problem. Again, I don’t mean to sound uncharitable or critical…
2. As far as making your own sign…don’t…until you’ve spoken with the priest. It’s not your personal building, not your personal space to worship, and you don’t make the rules for your parish…the priest does.
3. That being said, there should be adequte time for your to engage in adoration without noise or interruption. Right before and right after mass, I think, is unrealistic. Again, some will disagree with me and I respect such.

I’d bring your concerns to your priest.

 

[crenfro]

I’m sorry I didn’t mention it earlier, my mistake, but I had signed up for the adoration time directly after one of the Sunday Masses - this particular church has a 24-hour adoration chapel.

As for your words “merely being in His presence,” I have trouble with your use of the word “merely.” Heaven is called the Beatific Vision where we will be face to face with God. Adoration is being in the Real Presence. There’s nothing small or dismissive about that.

Personally, and I realize many might disagree with me:

1. While I respect those who like to engage in adoration after mass, I don’t get it. You just took our Lord inside of you; he’s become a part of you. What more intimate way can you associate him with yourself by merely being in his presence?

I wish I could bring my concerns to my priest… :crying:

I’d bring your concerns to your priest.

 

[Padraig1972]

My quick thought would be that this is why i prefer the time at day between masses (from morning to eve mass) when it`s quiet and dark in the church. I can spend some quality time alone with God in front of the eucharist and pray the rosary and read in the scriptures as well.

In total silence. Before and after mass i try to create my own silence inside me, pray and leave for home. You cannot expect people today to be quiet before or after mass.

This is the reason i like Traditional Latin Masses the most. The atmosphere and the attitude is totally different. It is not my duty to point fingers, but one only needs (too often) a mirror to seek and find the responsible ones.

 

[Joannm]

wow. Let’s shout the Rosary.

My reaction is that to expect near silence after mass in most parishes is an unrealistic expectation. Part of that, methinks, is the fault of design of the churches, that and the cost to build churches with sufficient space for parishioners to “meet and greet” afterward or beforehand in an area where sound will not carry into the sanctuary and/or tabernacle area(s).

Personally, and I realize many might disagree with me:

1. While I respect those who like to engage in adoration after mass, I don’t get it. You just took our Lord inside of you; he’s become a part of you. What more intimate way can you associate him with yourself by merely being in his presence? Certainly you should not be interrupted or distracted from your adoration, and I certainly don’t want to sound uncharitable, but it seems to me to be a little selfish to expect the entire congregation to be silent when they leave after mass. Waiting 10 minutes will solve the problem. Again, I don’t mean to sound uncharitable or critical…
2. As far as making your own sign…don’t…until you’ve spoken with the priest. It’s not your personal building, not your personal space to worship, and you don’t make the rules for your parish…the priest does.
3. That being said, there should be adequte time for your to engage in adoration without noise or interruption. Right before and right after mass, I think, is unrealistic. Again, some will disagree with me and I respect such.

I’d bring your concerns to your priest.

Why is it unrealistic to expect silence in church both before and after mass? When I was a child we were taught by the sisters not to speak above a whisper in church. Some people can’t wait 10 or 15 mnutes for noisy people to clear out of church. When I go to Europe, especially Italy, there are old women in the church or ushers that call out silencio when people start speaking loudly. And “loudly” is what I am talking about. We can speak in whispers and not loudly in church.

As far as shouting the rosary, if you were to hear them you would not think they were praying it very reverently. I have been to other parishes where the rosary is prayed after mass and it is usually very meditative and even enhances my own prayer. These ladies shout it at lightening speed and are not even saying the prayers in unison. Some go faster than others and they really do SHOUT it so much so that it becomes a real distraction.

 

[Ad_Altare_Dei_1]

We’ve started going to a new parish after two previous ones became intolerable. For the past 2 weeks this new parish has been wonderful. We remarked at how quiet it was before and after Mass. Well, not today! The choir in the loft was practicing before Mass and the Music Director was pretty loud in her instructions. They kept starting/stopping songs to work on individual parts. This went on until 2 mins before Mass started. Very hard to focus on prayer. After Mass the doors were thrown open, sunlight poured in and it became a cafeteria, or so it seemed. Lots of people in the pews chit-chatting, lots of boisterous talking in the nave. I still knelt and said my prayers. Pretty disappointing. But we are still happier here than we were at the other two parishes. Right now we’d be happy as clams if the music director would get off the Protestant tunes, the weird Gloria and Lamb of God. Talk all you want before and after, just keep yer mits off the Liturgy!

 

[the_phoenix]

When I attend the Latin Mass
in downtown Cleveland,
there’s never a problem,
it’s very peaceful and quiet.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I wish I could bring my concerns to my priest… :crying:

What is stopping you?

 

[Newbie2]

Why is it unrealistic to expect silence in church both before and after mass? When I was a child we were taught by the sisters not to speak above a whisper in church. Some people can’t wait 10 or 15 mnutes for noisy people to clear out of church. When I go to Europe, especially Italy, there are old women in the church or ushers that call out silencio when people start speaking loudly. And “loudly” is what I am talking about. We can speak in whispers and not loudly in church.

As far as shouting the rosary, if you were to hear them you would not think they were praying it very reverently. I have been to other parishes where the rosary is prayed after mass and it is usually very meditative and even enhances my own prayer. These ladies shout it at lightening speed and are not even saying the prayers in unison. Some go faster than others and they really do SHOUT it so much so that it becomes a real distraction.

I think you missed my meaning…

First, yes, it is possible to have silence, maybe even preferable…but the liklihood of having silence or near silence in a church (realistically) where it has not been the case is very small. So, yeah, I agree that it can be done, but here in the US, especially in parishes where noise is the norm, very unlikely.

Second, methinks you missed my sarcasm. The Rosary is a medative prayer, not a Sunday-go-to-meeting shout-it-to-the-mountaintops prayer. I agree that the way you describe it being prayed is…shall we say…less than ideal?

 

[crenfro]

What is stopping you?

He’s the one who told me that it’s unrealistic to expect silence in church. Also told me, when I brought up a couple of issues that the Vatican has already discussed (please, don’t ask me to go into details - I’ve been crying since Mass yesterday morning after the homily because of these and already asked the apologists on this site about them) and printed information about, that what I was saying was just my opinion.

I’m so worried I’m going to lose my faith and feel as though God’s abandoned me, even though I know that’s not so. I’m worried about being consumed by pride too. Am very upset.

Thanks for asking though.

 

[MissRose73]

I do not ask for complete silence but people should either whisper in the sanctuary before Mass or wait to have their conversations outside of it. Some of us do want to pray before Mass begins, and it can be hard to reflect when your neighbors are talking often about non secular matters in voices that are a bit loud.

 

[Padraig1972]

I do not ask for complete silence but people should either whisper in the sanctuary before Mass or wait to have their conversations outside of it. Some of us do want to pray before Mass begins, and it can be hard to reflect when your neighbors are talking often about non secular matters in voices that are a bit loud.

I agree and the strange thing is that it is such a difference between massforms. In the Old tridentine mass, this is not even an issue. But in the NO mass, you have it each sunday.

And what makes it even more interesting: on week days it`s very silent before mass in the NO mass. It must be something i have missed.