Frustrated with being a college student

[Obsidion]

School’s out for summer, and so far, I’ve been having a lousy time outside of school. I’m so frustrated with being a college student who has decided, upon several disastrous outings, that I hate the college drinking scene, which apparently takes out 95% of things I can do with people my age. Speaking of which, I can count on one hand how many friends I have, which doesn’t give me a whole lot of people to hang out with in my spare time. I’m so frustrated with how so many people my age just want to party and get drunk and have sex and not care about how wrong all of those things are. Nobody cares about doing the right thing and it depresses me so much. I’ve tried planning some stuff to do this summer, like volunteer at my parish’s vacation bible school next week, which I’m looking forward to, and there are some other things I’ve thought about getting into like horseback riding again or going out tubing, stuff like that. But I still can’t help but get down about how much of a loner I am compared to everyone else in college. I feel like such a loser, since I don’t have a ton of friends and I have no boyfriend. I enjoy being in school since it keeps me busy and I’m a good student (not trying to brag) and it makes me feel productive. But summer time and a social life? Not me I guess, and I’m so depressed about it all. Any good prayers or stuff I should read to lift up my spirits?

 

[Birdpreacher]

go to reddit. Lots of college kids use it. There are reddits you would like, like the one on catholicism:
reddit.com/r/catholicism

But also be mindful that reddit is a microcosm of the internet, there are communities centered on things you find morally reprehensible and/or stupid: ex: Cats, sex, etc.

As for college. Its easy to feel left out, especially if partying, just isn’t your thing. Maybe go to a party but be upfront about your boundaries, if the people are decent human beings, they will not care and you can be the sober head in the room telling them why firing bottle rockets out of the dorm window is a bad idea.

Also, if you are in a bigger city, try Meetup.com. Its a great way to discover people with common interests.

 

[cena]

School’s out for summer, and so far, I’ve been having a lousy time outside of school. I’m so frustrated with being a college student who has decided, upon several disastrous outings, that I hate the college drinking scene, which apparently takes out 95% of things I can do with people my age. Speaking of which, I can count on one hand how many friends I have, which doesn’t give me a whole lot of people to hang out with in my spare time. I’m so frustrated with how so many people my age just want to party and get drunk and have sex and not care about how wrong all of those things are. Nobody cares about doing the right thing and it depresses me so much. I’ve tried planning some stuff to do this summer, like volunteer at my parish’s vacation bible school next week, which I’m looking forward to, and there are some other things I’ve thought about getting into like horseback riding again or going out tubing, stuff like that. But I still can’t help but get down about how much of a loner I am compared to everyone else in college. I feel like such a loser, since I don’t have a ton of friends and I have no boyfriend. I enjoy being in school since it keeps me busy and I’m a good student (not trying to brag) and it makes me feel productive. But summer time and a social life? Not me I guess, and I’m so depressed about it all. Any good prayers or stuff I should read to lift up my spirits?

pray the rosary(these are not to lift up your spirits they are just nice devotions) or praying the prayers for the souls in purgatory

 

[InNomineDomini]

Its easy to feel left out, especially if partying, just isn’t your thing.

… or if you happen to find the whole thing to be utterly immoral and offensive to God. This isn’t so much about “your thing” and “my thing” as if rampant drunkenness and quasi-orgies were just one more flavor of ice cream. Moreover, recommending that someone should go to a college party and basically police the other students is extremely silly, with all due respect. I just wanted to point that out since, being an agnostic, you may not quite be thinking with the sort of perspective the OP has in mind.

 

[Obsidion]

… or if you happen to find the whole thing to be utterly immoral and offensive to God. This isn’t so much about “your thing” and “my thing” as if rampant drunkenness and quasi-orgies were just one more flavor of ice cream. Moreover, recommending that someone should go to a college party and basically police the other students is extremely silly, with all due respect. I just wanted to point that out since, being an agnostic, you may not quite be thinking with the sort of perspective the OP has in mind.

This is exactly right! I’ve wound up being the “police” of these outings and all it did was make everyone mad at me and having them call me “uptight” and it upset me emotionally and spiritually. People at these sorts of parties/bars/clubs don’t respect my beliefs so that’s why I’ve decided, rather than purposely put myself in these sorts of situations to begin with, I should just avoid going to these kinds of get-togethers to begin with. But now that leaves me depressed and frustrated with being left out and I need spiritual strengthening to avoid caving in and doing the wrong thing.

 

[Linusthe2nd]

School’s out for summer, and so far, I’ve been having a lousy time outside of school. I’m so frustrated with being a college student who has decided, upon several disastrous outings, that I hate the college drinking scene, which apparently takes out 95% of things I can do with people my age. Speaking of which, I can count on one hand how many friends I have, which doesn’t give me a whole lot of people to hang out with in my spare time. I’m so frustrated with how so many people my age just want to party and get drunk and have sex and not care about how wrong all of those things are. Nobody cares about doing the right thing and it depresses me so much. I’ve tried planning some stuff to do this summer, like volunteer at my parish’s vacation bible school next week, which I’m looking forward to, and there are some other things I’ve thought about getting into like horseback riding again or going out tubing, stuff like that. But I still can’t help but get down about how much of a loner I am compared to everyone else in college. I feel like such a loser, since I don’t have a ton of friends and I have no boyfriend. I enjoy being in school since it keeps me busy and I’m a good student (not trying to brag) and it makes me feel productive. But summer time and a social life? Not me I guess, and I’m so depressed about it all. Any good prayers or stuff I should read to lift up my spirits?

Go talk to you parish priest, even the bishop and ask them to put you to work for the summer ( no pay of course ). How about volunteering on one of the pro-life programs that are alway looking for help. Don’t worry about your friends, just pray for them, but chart your own course, be God’s little helper.

Linus2nd

 

[Mary_Estelle]

You can be in the middle of a crowd and still be alone. If you have a few good friends count yourself lucky. Consider going on a retreat, taking a summer course for fun at your local collage, volunteering in a local nursing home, doing home visits for shut ins helping with Salvation Army or Goodwill sores…or a summer job! There are a million things a young, healthy person can do.

 

[Allegra]

Take summer courses or get a summer job. That’s a good way to meet like-minded people.

 

[midori]

Not all friends have to be friends who join you for everything.

I went to a Baptist university for undergrad. The plus? Everyone was very open about their faith. That was great, to be surrounded by people who were really comfortable with Christianity. The minus? It was densely populated by people who embraced a very specific brand of Christianity, and I got to do things like miss lunch because they wanted to argue about Purgatory and Mary, and I had a roomie who lost her RA position after her dorm mother/other RA’s in her hall realized she was vegetarian due to her Hinduism. Stuff like that.

So— I had different friends for different things. I had my friends for sci fi night. I had my friends for anime club. I had my friends in the medieval group. I had my friends to go to the coffeehouse and play games and listen to music. I had my friends in my major for our major’s organization where we did floats and volunteer work and things. Sometimes I would do things alone-- like when the school of music had a recital, and I didn’t have anyone who cared for classical music. Or when I just sat in the library and immersed myself in the most random, old books I could find.

But-- all my friends had their context. None of them were really friends with each other, and I didn’t expect them to be. None of them were really bosom-buddies-I-tell-everything-to or best-friends-that-I-can’t-do-anything-without. But my job during the semester was to study and work, and my job in the summer was to work and study.

Find a friend who will eat lunch with you. Find a friend for walking the track. Find a friend for racquetball. Find a friend for watching up to watch a certain show on a certain day and eat dinner. Find a friend to go to the coffeehouse with. Find a friend to listen to music. If you’re lucky, that specific, contained friendship might spread into other areas of your life. If not, that’s okay— you still had a nice time, and you have the next nice time to look forward to. And if you don’t have a friend— enjoy all those things in your own company, and be approachable in case someone else is brave enough to join you.

 

[esieffe]

I know this MAY be the last thing you want to hear, but you are SO fortunate to have such a firm moral foundation. Even if you made some mistakes during your outings, those can be forgiven.

What is important is who you are. Only five friends? Social media has given everyone the false idea that we are less than… if we don’t have a bunch of friends. You will learn through the course of life that you are rich indeed if you have five good friends, six including the Lord.

Those who are already lost will do their best to drag you with them into the mire of hedonism. It is part of their programming today . Do talk with your priest and do go to Mass. This will help keep you strong. Pray the Rosary, the Queen of Heaven has a balm that will soothe all who pray it.

College is hard, for good kids like you, not so much for the academics, but for all the mental discovery and turmoil that comes with it. It is an emotionally vulnerable time for youth, as you can see from the people around you.

Finally, it may look like others are having fun, but many are simply trying to bury their fears and anxiety in alcohol and other things.

Stay focused, you can do it!

 

[SnowAngels]

School’s out for summer, and so far, I’ve been having a lousy time outside of school. I’m so frustrated with being a college student who has decided, upon several disastrous outings, that I hate the college drinking scene, which apparently takes out 95% of things I can do with people my age. Speaking of which, I can count on one hand how many friends I have, which doesn’t give me a whole lot of people to hang out with in my spare time. I’m so frustrated with how so many people my age just want to party and get drunk and have sex and not care about how wrong all of those things are. Nobody cares about doing the right thing and it depresses me so much. I’ve tried planning some stuff to do this summer, like volunteer at my parish’s vacation bible school next week, which I’m looking forward to, and there are some other things I’ve thought about getting into like horseback riding again or going out tubing, stuff like that. But I still can’t help but get down about how much of a loner I am compared to everyone else in college. I feel like such a loser, since I don’t have a ton of friends and I have no boyfriend. I enjoy being in school since it keeps me busy and I’m a good student (not trying to brag) and it makes me feel productive. But summer time and a social life? Not me I guess, and I’m so depressed about it all. Any good prayers or stuff I should read to lift up my spirits?

Praying for you! What are you studying, and what year are you in? My older sister just finished her freshman year at our local community college. Though she is studying engineering, she found that a lot of people in her intro classes were just like the people you described. She was lonely as well, and didn’t buy into the partying. As she entered her second semester and got into higher level classes she started meeting people that were most serious. I’d say give it time! As you get farther in your studies, the people that don’t really care are going to be weeded out (well, at least most of them!), and you won’t have to deal with them anymore!

Also, it may be a blessing to have few friends! Maybe God knows that the people around you aren’t people he’d want you to be friends with. Aside from my family, I only have one person that I consider to be a true friend, and I feel more blessed than ever!

 

[St_Francis]

Is there no Catholic organization at your school? Most schools have one. Maybe you coukd start one if yours doesn’t, or liven it up if it needs that. Or get involved in the church or parish associated with your school: volunteer for th choir, help clean up after events, etc.,

 

[nodito]

Is it possible to switch schools next semester? I realize it may be a financial challenge, but if you’re a good student you probably have alternatives. Are you at a Catholic college? THere are schools out there where large segments of the student body are not interested in partying.

 

[pianistclare]

Get out and do community service. Nothing makes you feel better than to help those less fortunate. AND the bonus is you’ll find other, selfless, and like minded people who want to make the world a better place. Find where they feed the homeless, work and play with disabled children, read to the blind, stock shelves at the food bank, you get the idea.
You’ll feel GREAT and meet wonderful people.
And they will absolutely treasure your help.
God bless.

 

[ChurchSoldier]

Sorry for your difficulties. Prayers said for you.

 

[Obsidion]

I know this MAY be the last thing you want to hear, but you are SO fortunate to have such a firm moral foundation. Even if you made some mistakes during your outings, those can be forgiven.

What is important is who you are. Only five friends? Social media has given everyone the false idea that we are less than… if we don’t have a bunch of friends. You will learn through the course of life that you are rich indeed if you have five good friends, six including the Lord.

Those who are already lost will do their best to drag you with them into the mire of hedonism. It is part of their programming today . Do talk with your priest and do go to Mass. This will help keep you strong. Pray the Rosary, the Queen of Heaven has a balm that will soothe all who pray it.

College is hard, for good kids like you, not so much for the academics, but for all the mental discovery and turmoil that comes with it. It is an emotionally vulnerable time for youth, as you can see from the people around you.

Finally, it may look like others are having fun, but many are simply trying to bury their fears and anxiety in alcohol and other things.

Stay focused, you can do it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is exactly what I had hoped to hear. May God bless you for lifting my spirits.

 

[HouseArrest]

If you can afford it, why not take a full load of courses? If you do that every summer you could cut down on the number of years you are in school. If that is not financially feasible, get a full time summer job. That will at least cut down on the amount of loans you need to take out.

If your college does not have a FOCUS group on campus, spend your summer trying to get one started before the fall.

focus.org/

And again, if finances are not prohibitive, here is a three week Ireland summer program with other students who are very likely like minded. It’s for college credit.

christendom.edu/academics/columcille.php

 

[Obsidion]

Praying for you! What are you studying, and what year are you in? My older sister just finished her freshman year at our local community college. Though she is studying engineering, she found that a lot of people in her intro classes were just like the people you described. She was lonely as well, and didn’t buy into the partying. As she entered her second semester and got into higher level classes she started meeting people that were most serious. I’d say give it time! As you get farther in your studies, the people that don’t really care are going to be weeded out (well, at least most of them!), and you won’t have to deal with them anymore!

Also, it may be a blessing to have few friends! Maybe God knows that the people around you aren’t people he’d want you to be friends with. Aside from my family, I only have one person that I consider to be a true friend, and I feel more blessed than ever!

I just finished my third year of college. I’ve been at community college these past three years and now am going to the university this fall semester. I’m studying kinesiology and hope to eventually go onto graduate school and become a physician assistant. And yes I’m looking forward to finally getting up to the 300-level courses, hopefully where, like you said, less people I know will be party animals whose main concern in life is what bar they’re going to hit up and get drunk at over the weekend.

And thank you! I do cherish the few friendships I have, but it can feel lonely when I compare myself to everyone else around me with 200 friends. I need to stop doing that.

 

[anonymous1995]

I’m also a college student. Summer is always such a counter-productive holiday which slips away easily. I’ve set out grand plans to enrich myself before vacation began, but nothing prospering yielded so far. I enrolled in an intensive German class but didn’t pay much effort in it. Leisure reading and spirituality growth are absent. And I don’t know where the time goes…I don’t have many friends too. The closest ones each has his own internship, summer part-time job, exchange programme, overseas trip…except me

Well, I guess it’s Satan’s plan to destroy us through procrastination, wasting time and solitude. To me I’ll have to learn to face solitude. In solitude I seek God and His Wisdom - what a long boring process!!! Hard to achieve.

Just some random thoughts.

 

[Obsidion]

I’m also a college student. Summer is always such a counter-productive holiday which slips away easily. I’ve set out grand plans to enrich myself before vacation began, but nothing prospering yielded so far. I enrolled in an intensive German class but didn’t pay much effort in it. Leisure reading and spirituality growth are absent. And I don’t know where the time goes…I don’t have many friends too. The closest ones each has his own internship, summer part-time job, exchange programme, overseas trip…except me

Well, I guess it’s Satan’s plan to destroy us through procrastination, wasting time and solitude. To me I’ll have to learn to face solitude. In solitude I seek God and His Wisdom - what a long boring process!!! Hard to achieve.

Just some random thoughts.

Well I’ve been told that when we feel that God and spiritual growth are absent is when we actually grow the most. So keep your head up! You’re probably growing much more than you imagine