Frustrated with online dating

[Paddy1989]

I agree with you in this one. I have been in dates with secular men. And most of them are very selfish and they want sex to be part of the package. I tell them I’m Catholic and they stop talking to me because they know I won’t give them the whole package. Sometimes is tempting to compromise, because I’m afraid to end up alone. But I want a family where faith is important, just the way how I was raised.

And i have chatted to and see secular women whom mostly are promiscuous and only care about drinking, partying and behaving and dressing immodestly to the extreme for self desire of pleasure and attention. HOWEVER i have also met some good women, VERY rare but even that is more likely than finding a Catholic so you should at least be open to the same thing with Good men. Why is it tempting to compromise?? How will doing this allow you to find the right lad as even if you did compromise the very fact that they won’t go with you because you won’t give them sex simply mean’s that’s all they are after, you would still end up alone but worse off since you would have given yourself entirely to someone who simply sought to use you

 

[nickybr38]

And i have chatted to and see secular women whom mostly are promiscuous and only care about drinking, partying and behaving and dressing immodestly to the extreme for self desire of pleasure and attention. HOWEVER i have also met some good women, VERY rare but even that is more likely than finding a Catholic so you should at least be open to the same thing with Good men. Why is it tempting to compromise?? How will doing this allow you to find the right lad as even if you did compromise the very fact that they won’t go with you because you won’t give them sex simply mean’s that’s all they are after, you would still end up alone but worse off since you would have given yourself entirely to someone who simply sought to use you

Why are you so adamant that finding a good Catholic is so difficult? MORE difficult then finding a secularist with Catholic morals?

Right now you’re met two good Catholic females already!!!

 

[mely2020]

And i have chatted to and see secular women whom mostly are promiscuous and only care about drinking, partying and behaving and dressing immodestly to the extreme for self desire of pleasure and attention. HOWEVER i have also met some good women, VERY rare but even that is more likely than finding a Catholic so you should at least be open to the same thing with Good men. Why is it tempting to compromise?? How will doing this allow you to find the right lad as even if you did compromise the very fact that they won’t go with you because you won’t give them sex simply mean’s that’s all they are after, you would still end up alone but worse off since you would have given yourself entirely to someone who simply sought to use you

I agree that secular women and MEN are mostly promiscuous, and they party and drink until they drop. That’s how most of singles around my age are. Its temping because 99% of friends and people I know are engaged in such activity. Its sad because it seems I’m the only girl trying to do the right thing (specially in California, its super liberal.) But I don’t want to be used. I want someone that I can love and love back with pure love. Its a concept that seems to be lost now in this time.

 

[marysdaughter1]

I’m an old lady on Catholic Match. I just started about a month ago. I am talking with one person in my area but what I noticed is that most of the men in my age group (50 and above) are all into hiking, camping, walking on the beach, bike riding…I, on the other hand, would rather stick a fork in my eye than go hiking up a mountain. SO, I am honest about what I like to do and what I do not like to do (please do not make me go camping. I am begging you.) and I am now, after reading these posts, going to see if I can narrow that search engine to 7 out of 7. I didn’t know you can do that! It will filter out the 'Kinda Catholics".

Good luck, Sister girl…I will keep you in my prayers!

That would be me, too. I haven’t been so active on either Ave Maria or Catholic Match for a while. I have a running joke that if God wants me married, the guy will have to knock on my door (and he will probably end up being the UPS guy.)

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I agree that secular women and MEN are mostly promiscuous, and they party and drink until they drop. That’s how most of singles around my age are. Its temping because 99% of friends and people I know are engaged in such activity. Its sad because it seems I’m the only girl trying to do the right thing (specially in California, its super liberal.) But I don’t want to be used. I want someone that I can love and love back with pure love. Its a concept that seems to be lost now in this time.

If 99% of your friends and people you know are promiscuous and drink to excess its time for you to get out and meet new people. Goodness most of my friends are agnostic or atheist and we spend most of our time playing video and tabletop games, watching movies, and playing Magic. Of course every now and then we go out and let loose, but it doesn’t control our lives.

 

[Paddy1989]

Why are you so adamant that finding a good Catholic is so difficult? MORE difficult then finding a secularist with Catholic morals?

Right now you’re met two good Catholic females already!!!

It is difficult simply because i have never met any, i can only speak from my own experience and most secularist’s to a certain extent are influenced by Christian moral’s even if they do not know it, it was simply handed down from the past. There are some good secular women about however whom i know and have spoken to and would have good moral’s. As for yourselves i do not doubt youn’s are good Catholic females but i’m talking about locally not interacting with Catholic females such as yourself thousand’s of miles away

 

[Paddy1989]

I agree that secular women and MEN are mostly promiscuous, and they party and drink until they drop. That’s how most of singles around my age are. Its temping because 99% of friends and people I know are engaged in such activity. Its sad because it seems I’m the only girl trying to do the right thing (specially in California, its super liberal.) But I don’t want to be used. I want someone that I can love and love back with pure love. Its a concept that seems to be lost now in this time.

I understand this and because i am in the same situation myself with my mate’s etc then i know how frustrating it can be sometimes but compromising on your faith will not help one bit i can assure you. Keep looking for that Catholic lad as i said but just don’t rule out secularist’s and by that i mean non practicing Catholic’s because you could meet a good man this way so just be open to it. Keep to your gun’s though and never out of a desire to find the right man settle for less or compromise, i notice women especially as they get older do this and it’s the worst thing you could possibly do not to mention no man want’s a woman who just settles for him because of her desire for marriage and a family, it has to be more

 

[Luvz2travel]

Mely2020

Let’s face it, building a relationship takes time. A man isn’t going to marry you until you are able surrender yourself over to him. If you have a career or other obstacles that stand in the way of you being a good wife and a totally devoted mother of your children, think about removing obstacles first.

I think her frustration is coming from the fact she feels guys aren’t giving a real relationship a chance. They want instant gratification. I’m in the same boat. The few guys I dated were very needy and either wanted me to support them (yes financially) or just put out. I’m not to trying to bash guys here but the minute they find out that I lead a catholic life it’s either adios or they laugh in my face and tell me to get real. Several years ago a boyfriend told me I’d was living in a dreamworld and if I didn’t put out I’d never find anyone…sadly his premonition has proved to be true. So much so that I’m not looking anymore as it seems pointless. I tried the online thing for several years and have all but given up on that too. I think some of it has to do with the selfishness that seems to overwhelm our society today. With most people it’s all about what they want and the other person can go to heck.

 

[johndoe100]

I think her frustration is coming from the fact she feels guys aren’t giving a real relationship a chance. They want instant gratification. I’m in the same boat. The few guys I dated were very needy and either wanted me to support them (yes financially) or just put out. I’m not to trying to bash guys here but the minute they find out that I lead a catholic life it’s either adios or they laugh in my face and tell me to get real. Several years ago a boyfriend told me I’d was living in a dreamworld and if I didn’t put out I’d never find anyone…sadly his premonition has proved to be true. So much so that I’m not looking anymore as it seems pointless. I tried the online thing for several years and have all but given up on that too. I think some of it has to do with the selfishness that seems to overwhelm our society today. With most people it’s all about what they want and the other person can go to heck.

I think the problem is often that a feminist in a marriage wants to be the one to have control, and then passes on her unbiblical advice to nice single Catholic girls like mely2020. *Let’s face it, most of these young men have seen feminism in action with their parents, and they can sense the slightest indication of it during the first few dates, with a supposedly Catholic single. *

The first step is to be active in a Parish rather than in online dating gimmicks who list as Catholic. *Why would they be there if they were practicing Roman Catholics? *Rule out all non- Catholic men until they convert to Catholicism and practice it for at least a year. You will be excommunicated if you marry outside the Catholic Church.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I think the problem is often that a feminist in a marriage wants to be the one to have control, and then passes on her unbiblical advice to nice single Catholic girls like mely2020. *Let’s face it, most of these young men have seen feminism in action with their parents, and they can sense the slightest indication of it during the first few dates, with a supposedly Catholic single. *

The first step is to be active in a Parish rather than in online dating gimmicks who list as Catholic. *Why would they be there if they were practicing Roman Catholics? *Rule out all non- Catholic men until they convert to Catholicism and practice it for at least a year. You will be excommunicated if you marry outside the Catholic Church.

You don’t know much about the Catholic rules of marriage, do you?

 

[mely2020]

I think her frustration is coming from the fact she feels guys aren’t giving a real relationship a chance. They want instant gratification. I’m in the same boat. The few guys I dated were very needy and either wanted me to support them (yes financially) or just put out. I’m not to trying to bash guys here but the minute they find out that I lead a catholic life it’s either adios or they laugh in my face and tell me to get real. Several years ago a boyfriend told me I’d was living in a dreamworld and if I didn’t put out I’d never find anyone…sadly his premonition has proved to be true. So much so that I’m not looking anymore as it seems pointless. I tried the online thing for several years and have all but given up on that too. I think some of it has to do with the selfishness that seems to overwhelm our society today. With most people it’s all about what they want and the other person can go to heck.

I agree. The guys are looking for instant gratification. We are in the same boat, I’m glad I’m not the only one. I also see alot of selfishness in guys. The ones that I dated were very self-absorbed, it was all about them. It was a big turn off.

 

[Crescentinus]

Here’s what I have to say.
I will never marry a radical feminist! Why? It is due to the fact that I am not a radical feminist!

 

[johndoe100]

I agree. The guys are looking for instant gratification. We are in the same boat, I’m glad I’m not the only one. I also see alot of selfishness in guys. The ones that I dated were very self-absorbed, it was all about them. It was a big turn off.

mely2020,

If you ware a black veil mantilla chapel scarf, and sit all by yourself during Mass every Sunday, God will bring the right guy into your life. But on the other hand, if to list your name in one of those online dating sites, what do you expect to get. Right, a normal young man who walks around with his sexuality 10 feet in front of him. Normal, in that the human population on this planet would disappear if God didn’t create them that way. You are supposed to like that.

 

[johndoe100]

You don’t know much about the Catholic rules of marriage, do you?

Well, I am widowed from my first Sacrament of Marriage, and I am presently married to my second wife through the Sacrament of Marriage, both in the Roman Catholic Church. Plus, I have never been divorced, separated, or shacked-up, either.

Do you guys think it was easy to follow the teachings of the Holy Catholic Church, think again.

 

[nickybr38]

You will be excommunicated if you marry outside the Catholic Church.

False. You are spreading falsehood there sir.

I’m not even going to comment on the rest of your comment…

 

[johndoe100]

False. You are spreading falsehood there sir.

I’m not even going to comment on the rest of your comment…

There you go again. Jumping this thread on a technicality. We all know about getting dispensation from a Bishop.

 

[Luvz2travel]

You don’t know much about the Catholic rules of marriage, do you?

I’m more interested where he thinks excommunication even comes into it or why he thinks it does.

My personal opinion is that it all goes back to the pervasive selfishness so predominant in out society today.

 

[johndoe100]

I’m more interested where he thinks excommunication even comes into it or why he thinks it does.

My personal opinion is that it all goes back to the pervasive selfishness so predominant in out society today.

Well, that is something that all practicing Roman Catholics know about, and makes me suspect that the OP is getting advice from heathens in this thread. There were a few post that mentioned that secular men were okay. Catholics must get dispensation from their Bishop before marring a non-Catholic outside the Church. Catholics must receive the Sacrament of Marriage in the Roman Catholic Church, or they are excommunicated. If you think your Bishop will give you dispensation to marry a pervert that you found on the Internet, go ahead and try. I doubt it!

 

[nickybr38]

Well, that is something that all practicing Roman Catholics know about, and makes me suspect that the OP is getting advice from heathens in this thread. There were a few post that mentioned that secular men were okay. Catholics must get dispensation from their Bishop before marring a non-Catholic outside the Church. Catholics must receive the Sacrament of Marriage in the Roman Catholic Church, or they are excommunicated. If you think your Bishop will give you dispensation to marry a pervert that you found on the Internet, go ahead and try. I doubt it!

Excuse me? Some pervert on the internet?

Geez dude. So if your son found Mely through the internet you’d assume she’s a pervert then?

And did you seriously just call us heathens?

 

[Angelsflight]

Well, that is something that all practicing Roman Catholics know about, and makes me suspect that the OP is getting advice from heathens in this thread. There were a few post that mentioned that secular men were okay. Catholics must get dispensation from their Bishop before marring a non-Catholic outside the Church. Catholics must receive the Sacrament of Marriage in the Roman Catholic Church, or they are excommunicated. If you think your Bishop will give you dispensation to marry a pervert that you found on the Internet, go ahead and try. I doubt it!

Ugh. Again.