Funeral beef (s)

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asquared:
is this an Irish thing? an Ohio thing? my in-laws always take pictures of the dead person lying in the coffin. not a beef, just curious. .
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As far as I know, it’s not an Irish thing…No one in my family does it. My sister-in-law’s grandma takes pictures at funerals which led me to believe it’s a German thing. I did learn in a sociology of death class that I took in college that people began doing this in the early days of photography - often it was the only picture they had of the deceased. Maybe it’s just a tradition in some families.

I personally, do not have a problem with family members speaking at the funeral. My cousin gave a beautiful euology for her dad at his funeral. I don’t think adding personal touches (unless people go berserk) detracts from the Mass. The people are there to mourn a loved one and if it comforts them, I’m inclined to think Christ will understand.

One of the kindest things I saw a priest do was at my cousin’s funeral. My aunt had wanted John Lennon’s song “Imagine” sung because it was my cousin’s favorite song and he had asked for it. The priest said no (though he did allow “Danny Boy”) and, when you think of the line in the song about “no religion” you can see the priest’s point. (Though he said it was one of his favorite songs as well) However, while we were still leaving the church and the recessional hymn had ended he let the organist play the instrumental only. He also pulled my brother and another cousin aside and told them it was okay to sing it at the graveside when the official ceremony was done. He did this because he was a friend of my cousin and to comfort my aunt.
 
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IrishRose:
One of the kindest things I saw a priest do was at my cousin’s funeral. My aunt had wanted John Lennon’s song “Imagine” sung because it was my cousin’s favorite song and he had asked for it…
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Somebody oughta do a re-write on that song.

“Imagine no abortion, it’s easy if you try…”

DaveBj
 
dan, I pretty much bury anybody as long as there is no scandal.

scout, this is a good place to beef. Where else does a priest get to say these things.
 
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cestusdei:
dan, I pretty much bury anybody as long as there is no scandal.
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You should limit yourself to only burying the dead.

Still, I am sure as a priest you have met some still living…
 
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pnewton:
You should limit yourself to only burying the dead.
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Avoiding scandal pretty much rules out throwing them under while they’re still kicking.
 
Thank you for calling this topic to our attention. Now, I will be sure to design my own funeral mass in advance. We had a seminar in our diocese about pre planning the funeral service. It sounds like a good idea. I know I have always disliked the family members speaking at mass, there is another place and time for this. And I certainly would like to pick the music!!!
 
Cestusdei,

I agree that this is a good place to post complains, etc. I believe those things should be done so that others can be aware of them and make better judgements for themselves.

Since you are a priest, though, you also get to see a lot of great things that “civilians” don’t get to see or know about. I just thought it would be nice to see a post about those things, too.

I hope I didn’t offend you. Believe me, that was not my intention.

Scout :bowdown:
 
Scout
“Miss Jean Louise, stand up. You’re father’s passin’.”
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I love that book. You’ve reminded me that I need to read it again.

DaveBj
 
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IrishRose:
One of the kindest things I saw a priest do was at my cousin’s funeral. My aunt had wanted John Lennon’s song “Imagine” sung because it was my cousin’s favorite song and he had asked for it. The priest said no (though he did allow “Danny Boy”) and, when you think of the line in the song about “no religion” you can see the priest’s point. (Though he said it was one of his favorite songs as well) However, while we were still leaving the church and the recessional hymn had ended he let the organist play the instrumental only. He also pulled my brother and another cousin aside and told them it was okay to sing it at the graveside when the official ceremony was done. He did this because he was a friend of my cousin and to comfort my aunt.
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Just a side note from a former professional musician:

Be VERY careful when singing pop or rock tunes in public. The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers(ASCAP), who regulate copyright on songs, have thousands of employees whose only job it is to go around to restaurants, sports events, parties (and, yes, even funerals!) and make note of what songs are being sung by the people there. If they catch you singing a copyrighted song and you have not made arrangements to reimburse the composer of that song for its use, you can be sued, and believe me, it happens all the time. Even that old chestnut “Happy Birthday” is protected, and you can actually get in trouble for singing it in public. This is why some restaurants, like Chevy’s sing their own version of “Happy Birthday” when a customer is celebrating theirs, in order to stay out of litigation. This may sound bizarre, but I can tell you from bitter experience it is absolutely true. Something like “Imagine” could very easily get the casual performer in trouble if the wrong person is listening. Yet another reason to stick to hymns and older tunes at weddings and funerals.
 
My priest hates it when people say, “Aunt Hilda is an angel now.” You can just become an angel, that’s like changing an apple to an orange!
 
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cestusdei:
dan, I pretty much bury anybody as long as there is no scandal.

scout, this is a good place to beef. Where else does a priest get to say these things.
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We are here to listen, and learn. You need to vent, as do the rest of us :o
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pnewton:
You should limit yourself to only burying the dead.
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Phil… yer killin’ us… 😉

The worst funeral I ever attended was for my cousin, when the minister came over to “console” us for our beliefs. Thanks buddy :mad: .
 
Maggie,

I thought I was venting - just like everyone else was doing. Or did I read your remark wrong?

Scout :confused:
 
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Scout:
  • I thought I was venting - just like everyone else was doing. Or did I read your remark wrong?
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Oh I am sorry!! No, I was trying to be supportive of cestusdei, not condeming you in anyway. Didn’t mean for it to be taken in that way. Please **please ** accept my apologies. Anyone else that I offended as well, I am so sorry.
 
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asquared:
is this an Irish thing? an Ohio thing? my in-laws always take pictures of the dead person lying in the coffin. not a beef, just curious. .
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I don’t know that this is an Irish thing…but I took a picture of my first husband because he looked so good compared to what he looked like after dying of cancer. Now when I look at it it sorta gives me the creeps…but at the time it gave me great consolation…
Annunciata:)
 
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kwitz:
Actually, I always picture my former students singing a rousing chorus of “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead…” at my funeral!😃

Kris
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:rotfl:

I had a teacher like that once!
 
Five years ago, I went to the funeral mass of a former co-worker, who was mentally ill and committed suicide. The ulogy by his younger brother reiterated that this is what he wanted and for us not to be sad because he was truly happy now. This was totally inappropriate and mind boggling, but became more clear when less than a week later, his brother who had made this uology, committed sucide also. Talk about icky!!!
 
Scout:

Having known cestus for a while now, I can tell you one thing: He really only posts if he’s complaining about something. If he doesn’t complain about what you say, then that means he agrees with you.

For a long time I thought he was ignoring stuff I said, until I realized he actually likes what I have to write…

Cestus is like my aunt Arlene: nobody on the outside likes him, but we love him cuz he’s ours!! 🙂
 
She’s right I love to bitch and moan. I am not happy unless I am doing so. Fortunately given the state of things I am often quite happy.
 
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