Gaining Humility

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0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
emotional stability
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The danger I referred is in the order of reason, not in the order of emotion.

The American word “Gaslighting” is what I’m thinking about. And how false ideas on humility feed vulnerability. Frequently actions and decision (socially) will be taken under uncertainty, most people won’t tell you where they are standing. So the danger of “exagerated humility”, as a principle, is that you’re enabling others to play mind-tricks on you. (The same way “good faith” need not be naive.)

But I also think in coercion -in terms of embodied cognitive structures- how it’s demanded of victims (and tacitly expected) through “victim blaming” that they blame themselves for the damages they suffered.

-So you see, those formulations of humility are inherently dangerous and misleading, since they don’t present the indispensable explanations that should accompany them.

(and how could I realistically be expected to explain this to someone?)
 
Yeah, I think I get what you’re driving at.

There is a phenomenon of spiritual abuse, where a person with power and authority holds the fear of Hell or at least “you’re not a very good person” over the victim’s head and controls them.

Or sometimes it doesn’t even rise to the level of abuse. I’ve seen people throw another person’s spirituality up in their face. Like for instance—there’s an award ceremony and somebody who worked hard got overlooked and wasn’t acknowledged. They bring this to the attention of the coordinator who respond with something like “well, good deeds are their own reward” (belittling) or even “I’m sorry for you because you’re so needy for affirmations” (condescending).

These spiritual exercizes are definitely not One Size Fits All. 🙂
 
This is a great thread, and I am really enjoying everyone’s comments!

I’m trying to gain humility too, and pride is so subtle, it colors do many things without me even realizing it.

I’m currently reading Humility of Heart by Fr. Bergamo. It’s pretty good so far, and only $5 if you have the Kindle app.
 
Dan_Defender said:
Mother Theresa’s 15 ways:
  1. Speak as little as possible about yourself.
  2. Keep busy with your own affairs and not those of others.
  3. Avoid curiosity (she is referring to wanting to know things that should not concern you.)
  4. Do not interfere in the affairs of others.
  5. Accept small irritations with good humor.
  6. Do not dwell on the faults of others.
  7. Accept censures even if unmerited.
  8. Give in to the will of others.
  9. Accept insults and injuries.
  10. Accept contempt, being forgotten and disregarded.
  11. Be courteous and delicate even when provoked by someone.
  12. Do not seek to be admired and loved.
  13. Do not protect yourself behind your own dignity.
  14. Give in, in discussions, even when you are right.
  15. Choose always the more difficult task.
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wow…thank you 😃
I agree ,a very good thread …so helpful!
 
You are just human. To gain humility, you must rejoice in Our Resurrected Lord.

Here is what St Paul said:

“Put ye on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, the bowels of mercy, benignity, humility, modesty, patience: Bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if any have a complaint against another. Even as the Lord hath forgiven you, so do you also. But above all these things have charity, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ rejoice in your hearts, wherein also you are called in one body: and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you abundantly: in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual canticles, singing in grace in your hearts to God. All whatsoever you do in word or in work, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God and the Father by him” (Colossians 3: 12-17).

How do you gain humility? By rejoicing in suffering, by understanding those less fortunate. By bearing witness to the life and resurrection of our eternal Lord.
 
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I can’t believe no one has already said this! Pray the Litany of Humility!

Humility boosts every other virtue. It’s a big one! Praying the Litany of Humility helps you see that it’s by far, above all, GRACE that gets you there, because humility just doesn’t come naturally to the human person.

I prayed this daily during a humiliating time of my life, and it seemed crazy to pray it, but graces poured in and I found myself embracing the next humiliations! Huh? where did that come from?! Not me! It was the graces from the Litany. You get what you pray for, especially when what you pray for is what God wants for us.

So I would say all you really need is to pray this once a day. I think you will love praying it. And leave the rest to God. He will answer your prayer.

I need to start praying it again. I am lagging on my on a job hunt for a better job, and it’s fear of failure is holding me back. This Litany will help me with that.

Here is a link to one of many copies available online: Litany of Humility
 
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Between pride and self-loathing, is found humility.

We just celebrated the feast day of Saint Bonaventure. He was a Franciscan and was washing dishes in the monastery kitchen when the Papal Legate arrived to bestow the title, and authority of Cardinal upon him. Out of love of his brothers, of the Order, and out of humility, he made the Legate wait while he finished his chores. Only then, out of humble obedience, did he accept the honor. He is now a Doctor of the Church.
 
And after his significant contributions led to a union of the Greek and Latin churches in the Second Council of Lyon, he died suddenly. He also completed his task there before going to his reward.
 
Humility would consist in a renunciation of self. I’d guess as an exterior practice it would be to neglect your own wants and to attend to others.
 
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