Gay to Straight?

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Jack17

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Well… I did some heavy thinking about being gay, and it’s not at all what I want to be. An abomination. I know a few weeks ago I was okay, but that’s because I was only thinking about personal happiness. I was just thinking in a bubble…

I heard that people can switch, and that they are normal. I don’t want to disappoint my family either. If I am gay everything about my life means nothing, such as having no kids, living none ‘normal’, and all. I don’t want to go to hell or live a life without ‘someone’.

Does anyone know about converting from gay to straight, or is just impossible?

And living with a guy doesn’t sound as fulfilling as living with a woman, it’s beginning to sound to me a bit weird and well feminine and gay. Stereotypes aside, it’s degrading almost. I don’t want that for myself at all.
 
Hi Jack17,
Will be praying for you dear. I’m a grandmother and not really up on this subject but it sounds like you are thinking in the right direction.
Can you talk to a priest of someone?
There is a group in the Church called Courage for people who need help on this subject.
May our dear Lord bless you and help you - give you strength & courage.
Love in Christ,
Agatina
 
I heard of courage, but I don’t want to be celibate. Just straight, or at least some attraction to women. I don’t think a priest could necessarily help, except telling me gay stuff is a sin.

Thanks,
 
Jack, officially the Courage apostolate doesn’t take a position on conversion/reparative therapy (therapy aimed at helping person with same-sex attraction develop feelings for the opposite sex), but unofficially reports are that they are supportive of such techniques. It may be a group you at least want to check out - I bet they could give you some leads, if nothing else.

Remember, the Catholic Church teaches that all unmarried persons are to be celibate.
 
Homosexual tendencies are a cross, bear it with patience through, with, and in Jesus. Obedience is the Strength of Christ; if you obey the Seventh Commandment, you will have His Strength. Ask Him to relieve you of the cross you bear, if it is His Will.
 
My dear friend .It is not possible to turn straight.you may think you can but ,this is who your are God made us this way for his purpose.If you were to marry ,in my opinion is more of a lie ,yes you may Love you wife.but the latter yrs. you’ll end up hurting her as well as yourself. You can have many friends and someone will be with you.Love yourself no matter who you are.As a gay man myself ,yes i have had many men after my divorce.I was happy just for a while .but the longing for same sex.was so painful.it destoryed my marriage fortunely.my wife and all my family have great support for me.I later gave to Our Heavenly Father my gift to him chastity. I have been Chasted for yrs. and truly happy with my choice.Gays DO not go to hell.nor are they bad. Love is Love .and what a wonderful gift of of showing someone you love ,and the love in return someone gives you.But if you are troubled by you sexuality.and feel it is wrong .become Chaste .it is an awesome choice for God .Please remember it is who you are and God truly loves you.we are his children. Love and Peace my friend God Bless You Edward .Leblanc.Chaste for Christ.and also all people should be Chaste until they marry. Many straight having sex .may think its alright to have sex, No they should be married .I know a Christian women who claims to be.,she doesnt play cards doesnt drink.or smoke cause she is a Christian. but sleeps with her boyfriend .doesnt make sense to me .God Bless her/
 
Hi Jack,
I remember once a friend of mine telling me about a group that help people to make that switch but i cant remember the name now. Do hang in there i’ll find out & then let you know. And truly speaking with a priest is not a bad idea. He may tell you it’s a sin but that is because he is trying to tell you the truth which is the only thing that liberates, but at least he’ll help you with his prayers and advice, and at least you won’t be alone in your struggles.
Keep it up 👍
 
How categorical of you Edward to declare it’s impossible. That you didn’t succeed doesn’t mean another person wouldn’t as well. I have seen people who were able to make that switch. Which is not to say i do not admire your resolve to live a chaste life, that is what it should be gay or straight, sex is only within marriage and only with one’s spouse. Only i do not agree with you that someone with homosexual tendencies cannot become straight. It will require a lot of effort (more than the effort straight people have to put to be faithful to their state in life) but it’s possible
 
I personally know a couple who have made the change from gay to straight even to the point of having their first child together recently. There are many success stories. Yes please visit Courage’s website couragerc.net . They have a conference in July (near Philadelphia) where many people give their testimonials.

The opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality, but holiness. Having a same sex attraction is not sinful and can be corrected. It sounds easier than it is I’m sure. Finding a therapist that does reparative therapy is very difficult. I would start by contacting Courage to find out if they know of any in your area. I also recommend the book “You Don’t Have to Be Gay”. (I don’t recall the author - let me know if you can’t find it).

I know one of the things you are supposed to do is to have good wholesome relationships with people of the same sex. Many times that is what is missing and this creates a void which turns into desire. Good luck, you’ve already done half the battle by wanting to change.

God Bless you.
 
Would you fly an airline that gets only 30% of its passengers safely to their destinations?

Would you trust a trial lawyer who won only 30% of his cases?

Would you submit to surgery when the surgeon has only 30% of his patients leave the hospital alive?

Despite all the claims made by EXODUS and similar groups, it seems that no more than 30% of their clients ever achieve any kind of heterosexual functioning.

Even NARTH says that their definintion of “successful treatment” is the mere cessation of heterosexual acts. If a person still longing for same-sex intimacy, connection, and love (and I don’t mean necessarily sexual here), that’s sounds like the person is still homosexual.

BTW, Dr. Charles Socarides, who founded NARTH, has an openly gay adult son. If he can’t make his own son grow up to be straight, how can he make other people’s sons and daughters straight?

You haven’t indicated how old you are. It could be you’re merely at the age where all sorts of circuits are being switched on and tested that won’t be used later.
 
I once heard a good radio interview with a pastor called Cy Rogers who talked about how he was once a practicing homosexual, and how Christ and the Holy Spirit assisted him to become heterosexual and is married to a woman now.

I think this LINK is to him and there is an email addy on it.

I’d also suggest praying the Rosary regularly.
 
Jack17 said:
Well… I did some heavy thinking about being gay, and it’s not at all what I want to be. An abomination. I know a few weeks ago I was okay, but that’s because I was only thinking about personal happiness. I was just thinking in a bubble…

I heard that people can switch, and that they are normal. I don’t want to disappoint my family either. If I am gay everything about my life means nothing, such as having no kids, living none ‘normal’, and all. I don’t want to go to hell or live a life without ‘someone’.

Does anyone know about converting from gay to straight, or is just impossible?

And living with a guy doesn’t sound as fulfilling as living with a woman, it’s beginning to sound to me a bit weird and well feminine and gay. Stereotypes aside, it’s degrading almost. I don’t want that for myself at all.
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Start with the Courage group. They can give you a referral to a professional who might be able to help you . There is evidence that sexual attraction is what they call fluid, meaning that it can change. The best sucess rates for change are by people who are highly motivated to change. You might be able to do that or you might need to just learn to live a chaste lifestyle. Courage can refer you to the support that you need. It might not be easy but it is possible.

:gopray:
 
bpbasilphx said:
Would you submit to surgery when the surgeon has only 30% of his patients leave the hospital alive?

Despite all the claims made by EXODUS and similar groups, it seems that no more than 30% of their clients ever achieve any kind of heterosexual functioning.

Even NARTH says that their definintion of “successful treatment” is the mere cessation of heterosexual acts. If a person still longing for same-sex intimacy, connection, and love (and I don’t mean necessarily sexual here), that’s sounds like the person is still homosexual.
Click to expand...
I share your skepticism about conversion/reparative therapy. Its success rate is not high, and there are reports that it can cause an awful lot of cognitive dissonance, which is quite stressful. I would encourage Jack to not rush into it. Take the time to learn, talk with those who had good experiences, and those who had bad experiences. And that is one more reason for Jack to get in touch with Courage.

That said, I think the examples you listed which indicate a 70% chance of dying are a bit misleading. I don’t think conversion/reparative therapy kills most of its patients, although some may eventually commit suicide. I admit I don’t have any figures on the matter.

But perhaps a better example would be a high stakes gamble, with only a 30% chance of winning. The odds may be against a person, but the potential payoff might be worth it to them. I think it requires a weighing of risks and benefits, and each individual may decide differently.
 
Jack17 said:
Well… I did some heavy thinking about being gay, and it’s not at all what I want to be. …
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Hi Jack,
Some therapists work with people to help them go from same sex attraction to opposite sex attraction. There’s a fair amount of political and social pressures on the psychiatric community to stop doing that type of therapy because many activists in the gay/lesbian/transgender community don’t like that type of therapy being available to people who want it.

That said, let’s put it aside as I’d like to bring up another possibilty for you to consider. You’re a teenager, and most teenagers are still trying to figure out who they are and what they want to be. Few teenagers have figured out exactly what they want to be when they grow up. I suspect that may be the case with you.

Some in the homosexual community would like us to believe that not every heterosexual is as “straight” as most of us believe. Some claim that there is some “fluidity” with sexual attraction. Truth be told, there are very attractive qualities about both men and women. If gender attraction isn’t always as set in stone as we might think for heterosexuals , maybe it isn’t for people who think they are homosexual either. Maybe you aren’t as “homosexual” as you think you currently might be either.

God bless you on your journey.
 
gardenswithkids said:
Hi Jack,
Some therapists work with people to help them go from same sex attraction to opposite sex attraction. There’s a fair amount of political and social pressures on the psychiatric community to stop doing that type of therapy because many activists in the gay/lesbian/transgender community don’t like that type of therapy being available to people who want it.

That said, let’s put it aside as I’d like to bring up another possibilty for you to consider. You’re a teenager, and most teenagers are still trying to figure out who they really are in their teen years. Most teens haven’t yet fully figured out what they want to be when they grow up–and I suspect that may be the case with you.

Some in the homosexual community would like us to believe that not every heterosexual is as “straight” as most of us believe. Some claim that there is some “fluidity” with sexual attraction. Truth be told, there are very attractive qualities about both men and women. If gender attraction isn’t always as set in stone as we might think for heterosexuals , maybe it isn’t for people who think they are homosexual either. Maybe you aren’t as “homosexual” as you think you currently might be either.

God bless you on your journey.
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Good post. I wonder how many that seem to think or are told that they are “gay”, really aren’t…maybe just confused about their gender identity?
 
Dale_M said:
I share your skepticism about conversion/reparative therapy. Its success rate is not high, and there are reports that it can cause an awful lot of cognitive dissonance, which is quite stressful. I would encourage Jack to not rush into it. Take the time to learn, talk with those who had good experiences, and those who had bad experiences. And that is one more reason for Jack to get in touch with Courage.

That said, I think the examples you listed which indicate a 70% chance of dying are a bit misleading. I don’t think conversion/reparative therapy kills most of its patients, although some may eventually commit suicide. I admit I don’t have any figures on the matter.

But perhaps a better example would be a high stakes gamble, with only a 30% chance of winning. The odds may be against a person, but the potential payoff might be worth it to them. I think it requires a weighing of risks and benefits, and each individual may decide differently.
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Wouldn’t the “success rate” be mainly determined by the desire of the participants? I, as a man, desire relations with many beautiful woman. This is not desireable behavior from a social perspective, though, and I must not indulge. Homosexual activity is destructive, socially, spiritually, and physically, so, it must not be engaged in. Interestingly, the APA has recently changed its tune concerning the “gay gene”.

“There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors.”
 
Jack, I’m praying for you.

I don’t know much about conversion therapy, but I, too, am skeptical of it. Instead of focusing on trying to form an attraction to the opposite sex, I would suggest focusing more on forming a close relationship with God, and discerning your vocation in life.

I will say this. Please, do not enter into a relationship with a woman with the intent of marriage unless you do have some kind of miraculous conversion. I am in the middle of a divorce from a man who, among many other things, has hidden a cross-dressing fetish/lifestyle from me. I know that the majority of these people are/claim to be straight, but I have had suspicions about my husband and same-sex attraction. I also suspect his problem goes beyond mere “run-of-the-mill” cross-dressing. The point is this: I now have two children I am raising on my own, because my husband couldn’t be honest with himself or me. Do not fool yourself - the problem does not just go away if you ignore it.
 
My dear friend .It is not possible to turn straight.you may think you can but ,this is who your are God made us this way for his purpose.If you were to marry ,in my opinion is more of a lie ,yes you may Love you wife.but the latter yrs. you’ll end up hurting her as well as yourself. You can have many friends and someone will be with you.Love yourself no matter who you are.As a gay man myself ,yes i have had many men after my divorce.I was happy just for a while .but the longing for same sex.was so painful.it destoryed my marriage fortunely.my wife and all my family have great support for me.I later gave to Our Heavenly Father my gift to him chastity. I have been Chasted for yrs. and truly happy with my choice.Gays DO not go to hell.nor are they bad. Love is Love .and what a wonderful gift of of showing someone you love ,and the love in return someone gives you.But if you are troubled by you sexuality.and feel it is wrong .become Chaste .it is an awesome choice for God .Please remember it is who you are and God truly loves you.we are his children. Love and Peace my friend God Bless You Edward .Leblanc.Chaste for Christ.and also all people should be Chaste until they marry. Many straight having sex .may think its alright to have sex, No they should be married .I know a Christian women who claims to be.,she doesnt play cards doesnt drink.or smoke cause she is a Christian. but sleeps with her boyfriend .doesnt make sense to me .God Bless her/
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Leblanc,
I dont agree with you. I cant see how you can say God specifically created gay people for his purpose when his church is specifically against same sex relationship. We christians are too lenient with outselves. We twist and turn a straight forward instruction to suit our own desires. God says, same sex relationship is an abomination in his sight and that is the reason why he burnt down sodom and gomorrah. There are no ifs, no buts, if you are struggling with your sexuality, take the easy way out, read the bible, and obey God. If you love a same sex person, that should be your cross.

If we are not careful, eventually, we will have strong reasons for falling in love with our pets and start to ask to be excused for wanting to have relationship with them.

Lets try to be striaght in our talks. Lets try not to shield people’s feelings too much. lets help others by saying it as it is.

Edward, I think your conscience is bothering you because you know it is not right to indulge in same sex relationship. Period. It is not an option.

Seek help to change.

Love and Peace
Odopa
 
edward_leblanc said:
My dear friend .It is not possible to turn straight.you may think you can but ,this is who your are God made us this way for his purpose.If you were to marry ,in my opinion is more of a lie ,yes you may Love you wife.but the latter yrs. you’ll end up hurting her as well as yourself. You can have many friends and someone will be with you.Love yourself no matter who you are.As a gay man myself ,yes i have had many men after my divorce.I was happy just for a while .but the longing for same sex.was so painful.it destoryed my marriage fortunely.my wife and all my family have great support for me.I later gave to Our Heavenly Father my gift to him chastity. I have been Chasted for yrs. and truly happy with my choice.Gays DO not go to hell.nor are they bad. Love is Love .and what a wonderful gift of of showing someone you love ,and the love in return someone gives you.But if you are troubled by you sexuality.and feel it is wrong .become Chaste .it is an awesome choice for God .Please remember it is who you are and God truly loves you.we are his children. Love and Peace my friend God Bless You Edward .Leblanc.Chaste for Christ.and also all people should be Chaste until they marry. Many straight having sex .may think its alright to have sex, No they should be married .I know a Christian women who claims to be.,she doesnt play cards doesnt drink.or smoke cause she is a Christian. but sleeps with her boyfriend .doesnt make sense to me .God Bless her/
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No disrespect Edward - but I think you are wrong to tell Jack he was born gay. He wasn’t and neither were you. I admire your vow of chastity, and you are very right to live that way while unmarried. But there is EVERY hope that Jack’s SSA can diminish and finally disappear altogether. Natural heterosexual feelings may develop in time, but not as a replacement to the SSA. They are two different things - one is not the flipside of the other as people assume. True the SSA has become sexualized to some degree, but it is NOT where the problem lies.

Jack I beg you to listen - I have three ex-gay friends and counting - These folks were knee-deep in the lifestyle and through prayer, study, and counseling came to understand their own personal circumstances and factors that caused their SSA, and to recognize what triggers their attraction, as well as what needs those feelings are trying to fulfill. They now meet those needs legitimately, have full lives with non-sexual relationships with same-sex heterosexual friends, and loving Christian relationships with the opposite sex.

Besides COURAGE
EXODUS International and NEW HOPE MINISTRIES are excellent sources for finding ways to overcome your SSA.

Pray. of course, but God will probably not remove it in one fell swoop - HE LOVES YOU, but He wants you whole and happy. He wants you to unravel your past and find the root causes so that He can heal those hidden hurts and fulfill those needs the right way.

You need to read, read, read. I know you are only 17 so having books sent to your house might be difficult, but perhaps you should consider asking your mom or dad now with help for this. If they know you are trying to live in the faith and are trying to find ways to understand and overcome your SSA, I would guess they would be supportive.
When a child tells his parents he is gay - it is devastating but you are not telling then that - you are telling them you have a problem, a disorder called SSA.
I am praying for you Jack.

Please all pray the Saint Michael Prayer daily for Jack and others who suffer SSA.
Send an email titled “Yes, I Will Pray” to sorrowfulheart4ssa@yahoo.com to join with parents, friends and others praying for SSA sufferers.

God bless you Jack.
 
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