Gay Youth Minister

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

There are some men, both straight and gay, that are particularly attracted to young and inexperienced teens.
Either because they are too immature to relate to their own peer group, or they like the idea of being the kid’s unforgettable “first”, or it’s a straight up power trip.

Amd that’s why there are “safe environment” protocols, etc.

 

[puppson]

So sorry that happened to you.
What if priests are allowed to marry? Opposite gender or same gender, whichever. Would that cut down on all the abuse, since they would then have a legitimate outlet for their sexual appetites?

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

I don’t know, because sexual abuse tends to be power driven rather than sexually driven.
Protestant Churches have problems with sex abuse, too.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

Should a well-intentioned gay hold the position of Catholic Youth Minister?

I’d be more concerned that they were well-qualified than well-intentioned or gay. A life of chastity according to one’s station in life would be among the qualifications of any youth minister.

I take it back. I do want them to be well-intentioned. An ill-intentioned youth minister would be terrible.

 

[powerandglory]

Eh, no. Abusers don’t stop abusing when their state in life changes.

 

[theCardinalbird]

Can someone lead me to Church documents that address ministry leadership attributes and restrictions?Should a well-intentioned gay hold the position of Catholic Youth Minister?

Is this person living in a same sex relationship? Is he doing/saying anything against Church teaching?
If he is, I can see the worry. If he isn’t then it really isn’t an issue

 

[Thorolfr]

In the attempt to cater to a generation who cries foul every time their poor little feelings are hurt, we water down Truth, and erode away what it means to carry our cross. Why should we coddle a group or individual who has convinced themselves that the way they live is good and healthy? If they have no doubts about it, no coddling or word gymnastics are needed.

So, do you think that the parents of a 12 year old boy who confesses to his parents that he is experiencing feelings of sexual attraction for other boys should be told that this is something “intrinsically evil” about himself that he might have to live with for the rest of his life and that it doesn’t matter if this hurts his “poor little feelings”? Even if someone thinks based on their religious beliefs that homosexual sex is wrong, it still seems unhelpful to go around mocking people if their “poor little feelings” have been hurt and telling them that an important part of themselves is “intrinsically evil.” For gay adults to hear this kind of stuff isn’t exactly easy. For children or young adults who are struggling with their sexual orientation, often alone and in secret, to hear this kind of stuff about themselves is much more difficult and painful. It probably leaves lasting scars. And I think that young people in particular probably find it more difficult to grasp the notion that they aren’t evil even if an important part of themselves is evil.

 

[powerandglory]

For gay adults to hear this kind of stuff isn’t exactly easy. For children or young adults who are struggling with their sexual orientation, often alone and in secret, to hear this kind of stuff about themselves is much more difficult and painful. It probably leaves lasting scars.

The folks who adopt this sort of attitude aren’t very likely to care. I imagine it fulfills some sense of Christian duty in them to inform others how wicked and evil their temptations are.
Although, I do wonder if they accuse themselves of their failings before God with the same level of condemnation.

 

[Thorolfr]

Is this person living in a same sex relationship? Is he doing/saying anything against Church teaching?
If he is, I can see the worry. If he isn’t then it really isn’t an issue

Since some people seem to think that having OCD makes someone impure and unworthy to be a youth minister, I’m sure that having SSA even if someone isn’t acting on it would be considered doubly impure. But this is the first time I’ve heard someone talk about SSA and OCD causing some sort of religious impurity.

 

[theCardinalbird]

Since some people seem to think that having OCD makes someone impure and unworthy to be a youth minister

Whaaat?

I’m sure that having SSA even if someone isn’t acting on it would be considered doubly impure.

It depends on the person who your talking to. I can’t make any hasty generalizations with this because I’m sure some Catholics wouldn’t mind

 

[Thorolfr]

Thorolfr:

Since some people seem to think that having OCD makes someone impure and unworthy to be a youth minister

Whaaat?

That’s in post #45 above.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

Since some people seem to think that having OCD makes someone impure and unworthy to be a youth minister,

The severity of the OCD would matter. Someone with crippling religious scruples might have difficulty offering coherent advice to the youth on the topics that cause their scruples. Someone with less severe OCD and/or with adequate self-knowledge might be able to. It’s not a matter of impurity (although I see you have chosen the wording in response to the wording further upthread)

 

[Thorolfr]

If someone has any kind of uncontrolled mental health issues whether it is OCD or ADHD or Bipolar Disorder or depression, it can seriously impact their ability to function no matter what they’re doing. But depending on the severity, all those things can sometimes be controlled with medication and/or therapy. They shouldn’t automatically disqualify someone. I’ve been told by other people with ADHD that it is always a bad idea for someone with ADHD to let an employer know about this just because they are likely eventually to suffer some sort of discrimination as a result. Any mistake they make will be attributed to their ADHD and they will be considered a less reliable employee even if they haven’t done anything to deserve this.

 

[Gingersnaps4]

I think having a lay ministry leader role in the church is wonderful for a person with SSA as long as they are living in accordance with church teaching. Like any youth minister they should leave descriptions of their attractions or lack of, out of their role.

As for clergy, Pope Francis is wise to deem that people with deep seated SSA shouldn’t be admitted to seminary. As someone else said, over 80% of the scandals were pederasty rather than pedophilia. With post pubescent males. It is a homosexual problem rather than one of pedophelia, for the most part. On top of that priests aren’t always guaranteed to be housed alone through seminary and thereafter throughout their life, so it’s just common sense not to invite that temptation. Housing a person with SSA with members of their own sex is equivalent to housing priests and nuns together, pretty much. Makes no sense.

 

[commenter]

So sorry that happened to you.
What if priests are allowed to marry? Opposite gender or same gender, whichever. Would that cut down on all the abuse, since they would then have a legitimate outlet for their sexual appetites?

I formerly worked as a child sex abuse investigator. It was very common for the accused men to be, or have been married, and/or to have had various adult sexual partners, usually outside marriage. Many had children.
Marriage did not reduce their proclivity. What some other poster wrote about power being a driving force was true usually, not always. The one kind of sex did not eliminate the different kind of “need” for other kind of sex.

 

[Elf01]

As someone else said, over 80% of the scandals were pederasty rather than pedophilia. With post pubescent males. It is a homosexual problem rather than one of pedophelia, for the most part.

I wonder if everybody who is so paticular about pointing that out would br as precise if the scandals had been mainly heterosexual or (in the case of pederasty) had not involved the Church.

Those type of comments always come across as whitewashing to me. I doubt they come across any better to a non Catholic.

 

[Gingersnaps4]

I wonder if everybody who is so paticular about pointing that out would br as precise if the scandals had been mainly heterosexual or (in the case of pederasty) had not involved the Church.

Those type of comments always come across as whitewashing to me. I doubt they come across any better to a non Catholic.

Im not sure how it’s whitewashing at all. Pederasty is no better than pedophelia in this case. It’s still all about sexual predators. Facts are facts at any rate, 80% were involving post pubescent males. I think that pointing the finger at pedophelia In this case is overlooking the real issue.

 

[Thorolfr]

Elf01:

I wonder if everybody who is so paticular about pointing that out would br as precise if the scandals had been mainly heterosexual or (in the case of pederasty) had not involved the Church.

Those type of comments always come across as whitewashing to me. I doubt they come across any better to a non Catholic.

Im not sure how it’s whitewashing at all. Pederasty is no better than pedophelia in this case. It’s still all about sexual predators. Facts are facts at any rate, 80% were involving post pubescent males. I think that pointing the finger at pedophelia In this case is overlooking the real issue.

The John Jay Report did not say that 80% of the victims were “post pubescent males”. It said that 81% of all victims were male. In terms of ages, 42.7% of all victims were 12 or younger, 60% were 13 or younger and 73.2% were 14 or younger. It’s true that a 13 or 14 year old is probably pubescent, but just barely. There’s a big difference in sexual development between a 14 year old and an adult. A 14 year old is still a child, so I don’t know why there is so much effort put into making a distinction between whether the victims were prepubescent or postpubescent. And almost half of the victims were 12 or younger, still mostly a child who would be likely to attract sexual predators who prey on children, not someone who is attracted to other adults.

 

[Gingersnaps4]

Ok, but that still doesn’t change the fact that this is males victimizing other males, even if only 60% were teens.

 

[theCardinalbird]

Can we stick with the topic of the thread? How did we get from a youth minister who happens to be attracted to the same sex, to the sex abuse scandals and the John Jay Report?