Genetic and Painful Discouragements Against Marriage; Need Counsel

  • Thread starter Thread starter ethereality
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
ack said:
If you can’t access a therapist in Japan, what about a psychiatrist, who would be part of the regular medical system which you presumably somehow have access to?
Click to expand...
His only answer is to use drugs, which I’ve argued wouldn’t address the root of my problems – that I need cognitive therapy (to solve my problems and see the world differently), not merely a chemical sedative. He agreed that therapy would be good and basically told me to go back to the United States, because there weren’t any English-speaking therapists here.
 
ethereality said:
His only answer is to use drugs, which I’ve argued wouldn’t address the root of my problems – that I need cognitive therapy (to solve my problems and see the world differently), not merely a chemical sedative. He agreed that therapy would be good and basically told me to go back to the United States, because there weren’t any English-speaking therapists here.
Click to expand...
That would presumably be best.

But given that Option #1 is apparently impossible right now, you may have no choice but to try the fallback.
 
ethereality said:
His only answer is to use drugs, which I’ve argued wouldn’t address the root of my problems – that I need cognitive therapy (to solve my problems and see the world differently), not merely a chemical sedative. He agreed that therapy would be good and basically told me to go back to the United States, because there weren’t any English-speaking therapists here.
Click to expand...
Since you’ve ruled out counselling (as being unavailable in terms of professional therapy or unhelpful in the case of your priest), then I suggest you consider the advice of your psychiatrist.

IMO your posts do not read as someone who is emotionally balanced right now and some medication may be very helpful in evening things out. Certainly, as you’re aware, it will not solve all your problems. But it can help clear your mind so that you are able to think through things more rationally and constructively.

One of the most insidious problems of treatable mental illness is that people who suffer are inclined to not trust that medication will help. Please don’t fall into this trap. If you suffer from depression, or another mental illness, it clouds your judgement. Treating it can free your mind to explore more constructive approaches to your broader and more philosophical concerns.

You really have little to lose. By all means raise your concerns with your psychiatrist and perhaps suggest starting with a low dose so you can see how it goes.

PS I also think you could explore Xantippe’s suggestion of counselling via skype.
 
There has to be a English-speaking therapist somewhere that can speak to you. Is there some sort of ex-patriot resource or forum online where you could find guidance?
 
Allegra said:
There has to be a English-speaking therapist somewhere that can speak to you. Is there some sort of ex-patriot resource or forum online where you could find guidance?
Click to expand...
No, there probably are no English-speaking therapists here, unless everyone I have spoken with, including a psychiatrist and a psychologist, are all wrong. The closest ones are in Tokyo (transportation: roughly $80 + 4 hours round-trip), and they are expensive (working privately), more than I can afford. There are a few forums for foreigners living in Japan I could try using, but my time is limited to go hunting and posting on the internet.

That being said, I have found something, though it seems possibly expensive for my phone bill (possibly 10 cents per minute):
TELL Lifeline
03-5774-0992
Free, anonymous telephone counseling and support across Japan. 9am - 11pm daily.
Click to expand...
This webpage was another search result for English therapists, but perhaps they only encourage homosexual behavior. At least one of the links on that webpage is broken, and much of it is only to encourage homosexuality.
 
What about an online counselor?

7cupsoftea.com/
talkspace.com/
breakthrough.com/

It really does sound like you have problems that go beyond what an internet forum can provide. That website has online counseling (and online “trained listeners” as well) that might be of use to you.

But as for your original question…I’m not sure of the decision your parents made, or your reasons for avoiding marriage, but for the sake of argument let’s say it’s all legitimate and you can’t get married. I guess that does mean that your sexual desires go unsatisfied, just like the desires of people who are single but want to be married. And it sucks, no doubt about it. God isn’t imposing that fate upon you, He wants to comfort you and guide you through it.

Try reading about the lives of some of the saints. That helped me when I was going through some tough things and felt abandoned by God. Sometimes it’s more relateable to read about a person.

Good luck.
 
ethereality said:
No, there probably are no English-speaking therapists here, unless everyone I have spoken with, including a psychiatrist and a psychologist, are all wrong. The closest ones are in Tokyo (transportation: roughly $80 + 4 hours round-trip), and they are expensive (working privately), more than I can afford. There are a few forums for foreigners living in Japan I could try using, but my time is limited to go hunting and posting on the internet.

That being said, I have found something, though it seems possibly expensive for my phone bill (possibly 10 cents per minute):

This webpage was another search result for English therapists, but perhaps they only encourage homosexual behavior. At least one of the links on that webpage is broken, and much of it is only to encourage homosexuality.
Click to expand...
What about using an interpreter? My aunt is deaf and has to use an interpreter when she sees doctors.
 
Do you mind sharing the resources you do have ? Anything ,little as it may.seem
Maybe we can help a bit with what/who you do count on. Anything. 🙂
I was thinking that swimming might be helpful for your feet for instance. Is there any free or low cost activity you enjoy doing ?
 
graciew said:
Do you mind sharing the resources you do have ? Anything ,little as it may.seem
Maybe we can help a bit with what/who you do count on. Anything. 🙂
I was thinking that swimming might be helpful for your feet for instance. Is there any free or low cost activity you enjoy doing ?
Click to expand...
I’ve already shared about everything. Swimming would cost 500 yen each visit; the pool is far removed and I don’t have the time or money. It would be good exercise (except for the increased caloric intake = increased cost of living), but I don’t see how it would help my feet (it wouldn’t fix the bones).

Telephone counseling would cost roughly 21950 yen per 50 minutes or some hassle to get them to lower the bill to an unspecified amount. I don’t feel that I have the time to spend getting documents in order to contact them. (For context, I make roughly 145,000 yen/month and the monthly accumulating interest on my American student debt is about 101,000 yen/month. I really can’t afford any non-essential.) It’s possible I wouldn’t qualify for any “sliding scale payment” because they probably don’t care about my American debt, and would just look at my monthly income, which in Japan is “substantial”.
 
I’m not sure if you are referring to circumcision, perhaps one that had complications, since you say a result of a decision your parents made, but most men are fully able to enjoy sex after having one and if there was some sort of complication with the original procedure there are often corrective procedures that can be done. Have you seen a urologist?

Regardless, you’ve said you are a virgin and so I think you are worrying far too much about all the possible scenarios that may happen and I’m guessing not basing it on actual experiences.

You’ve also said your priest isn’t very helpful but does he have access to resources in counseling you could investigate. Are there any other English speaking priests in the area you can try. I believe there are American counsellors that may be able to help you via skype.

You seem to be in a bad frame of mind and I do pray you find somebody that can be of help to you.

God Bless
 
heart4home said:
You seem to be in a bad frame of mind…
Click to expand...
Yes, I agree.

ethereality, your posts read as someone who views the world through the haze of depression. Again I’d urge you to consider what your psychiatrist has advised, especially since you have ruled out any other form of help as being too expensive or unavailable.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top