Germs and being a Eucharistic Minister

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Bananas

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At the risk of having another thread locked and/or disappear, I’m going to try this once more since I have a question related to Catholicism.

My eldest daughter has been Confirmed recently and has been trained to be a Eucharistic Minister. She loves it very much. When she is on the altar, she must drink from the chalice as well as receiving the bread. On occasion, she must also drink the leftover consecrated wine after everyone else has drunk from the cup. Her father and I are concerned that she will contract a serious illness, such as Hepatitis, by drinking from the common cup. We were very conflicted about whether or not to allow her to continue to participate as a Eucharistic Minister.

We finally decided to say something to her. We told her that we are very heartbroken over this because we know she loves being a Eucharistic Minister and we know it is a good thing, but we are very very concerned with her getting sick. We told her that we would prefer she stop being a Eucharistic Minister, but that ultimately it was her decision.

So it’s been a few weeks and she is talking like she is not going to quit. I reminded her of the risks and she pointed out that we told her that it was ultimately up to her. I told her that we needed to decide together and that I hoped I could teach her how to protect herself.

She mentioned, with a bit of an attitude, that she only wants to do good by being a Eucharistic Minister and is upset with her father and me that we said anything about it at all. She said that if she quit it would be a terrible disappointment to her. I told her life is full of disappointments and we just have to go with it. Also, that this life is temporary, and heaven is eternal, so if you don’t get to do something here, that’s okay. I told her that her father and I were conflicted and heartbroken about it and that it was in sorrow that we mentioned it to her, but what were we supposed to do? I told her, if we didn’t say anything to her and she came down with Hepatitis, we would want to kill ourselves! We wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that we didn’t tell her not to do it if she then contracted a serious disease! Couldn’t she understand that?!

I really don’t know what to do here. We gave her a choice but it doesn’t look like she’s going to make the right choice. Or am I being emotionally manipulative again?
 
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Bananas said:
We gave her a choice but it doesn’t look like she’s going to make the right choice.
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Ah, yeah, because ministering the Blood of Christ is the wrong choice.

She made her decision. Either allow her to keep it, or not.

You let her choose- that’s your bad.
 
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Bananas said:
Or am I being emotionally manipulative again?
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Yes.

Did you bother to look up any facts about contracting serious illnesses by receiving the Precious Blood?

And obviously you remember telling your daughter it would be her decision whether to quit – why did you say that if it wasn’t true? Young people take it very seriously if their parents lie to them.
 
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How many cases are in the media about infection from the Lord’s Blood? Am guessing zero. Call the Archdiocese and inquire! The Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion ( the Priest is the Eucharistic Minister) are at a very minimal risk. I cannot think of even a single case of what worries you.

How old is your daughter? 18 or more? If so, then please allow her to decide.
 
Bananas said:
Or am I being emotionally manipulative again?
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You are being, incredibly.

Leaving it up to her to make the final choice means just that. Say your piece and drop it. Stop trying to force her to make the decision you want her to make.

Look at this:
Bananas said:
I told her, if we didn’t say anything to her and she came down with Hepatitis, we would want to kill ourselves! We wouldn’t be able to live with the fact that we didn’t tell her not to do it if she then contracted a serious disease! Couldn’t she understand that?!
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Did you seriously say if your daughter carried on and got ill that you would kill yourselves? Do you not see how manipulative that is? Really? That is cruel and abusive. What an utterly vile thing to threaten.

I’ll say it again - family counseling. ASAP.
 
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Bananas said:
So it’s been a few weeks and she is talking like she is not going to quit. I reminded her of the risks and she pointed out that we told her that it was ultimately up to her. I told her that we needed to decide together and that I hoped I could teach her how to protect herself.
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Look here. You lied to her when you said it was up to her - you never meant to let her have any say at all.

Get therapy. Stop putting it off, there is nothing more important.
 
Someone confirm this- normally the chalice is made of silver which has excellent antimicrobial properties. Very unlikely she’d get ill from that. The risks are absolutely minimal.

I’d let her be a Eucharistic Minister. Let her have her faith- I’ll leave you with yours.
 
Lou2U said:
Did you seriously say if your daughter carried on and got ill that you would kill yourselves? Do you not see how manipulative that is? Really? That is cruel and abusive. What an utterly vile thing to threaten.
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I did not mean this literally. I said this in response to her saying she was upset with us for telling her there was a risk. I was trying to make the point that we didn’t want to make her quit — or even say anything to her about there being a health risk — but ultimately felt like we had to do it because we are extremely concerned about her health.
 
Bananas said:
I did not mean this literally. I said this in response to her saying she was upset with us for telling her there was a risk. I was trying to make the point that we didn’t want to make her quit — or even say anything to her about there being a health risk — but ultimately felt like we had to do it because we are extremely concerned about her health.
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It is not a statement you can justify. Stop trying.

You owe your daughter a massive apology and a promise you will never do it again. And get your family to therapy.

Stop lying to your daughter. If you mean to give her no control over anything she does in her life, tell her that. Don’t feed her with one hand and take away with the other.

Your conduct towards her is simply abhorrent. The fact you don’t recognise that is terrifying, quite frankly.

Go to family therapy, and also go as an individual. Your obsessive need to regain control at all times is something you need to face up to and tackle head on.
 
There is just so much wrong with this post, that it’s almost impossible to break it all down. I seriously hope that the OP is trolling and that this isn’t something that is going on with her daughter. My goodness. This poor child.
 
Your posts read like you have never interacted with a child. This kind of stuff is why parents keep their kids from visiting the grandparents.
 
My posts? I pretty much never comment on parenting issues, so I don’t know how you can draw that conculsion
 
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Lou2U said:
It is not a statement you can justify. Stop trying.
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@Lou2U

I’m clarifying that I did not mean it as a threat. She said she was upset with her dad and me for telling her there was a health risk. I said we would want to kill ourselves if we didn’t tell her it was a health risk and she ended up getting sick.

I did NOT say, “If you carry on and get sick your father and I will kill ourselves.” I did not use it to manipulate her into changing her mind.
 
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Bananas said:
Her father and I are concerned that she will contract a serious illness, such as Hepatitis, by drinking from the common cup.
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Ever hear of the Hepatitis Vaccines?
Bananas said:
I told her, if we didn’t say anything to her and she came down with Hepatitis
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Your husband is a doctor. He doesn’t mention vaccinations? You’re probably at a greater risk of contracting Herpes simplex! Something isn’t adding up here…
 
Bananas said:
I’m clarifying that I did not mean it as a threat. She said she was upset with her dad and me for telling her there was a health risk. I said we would want to kill ourselves if we didn’t tell her it was a health risk and she ended up getting sick.

I did NOT say, “If you carry on and get sick your father and I will kill ourselves.” I did not use it to manipulate her into changing her mind.
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Stop. Justifying.

What you did is a classic example of emotional manipulation.
Bananas said:
I said we would want to kill ourselves if we didn’t tell her it was a health risk and she ended up getting sick.
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That is blackmail. You are putting all blame and guilt on her shoulders to get your own way.

Have you made an appointment to see a therapist yet, @Bananas?
 
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