I’ve had the pleasure of being very active in two parishes where girls were allowed to be altarservers. In the first, my oldest son reached the age that the priest allowed children to begin serving. He spoke to other boys his age about his excitement to be joining the ranks of altar servers. The other boys told him he was crazy for wanting to join the girls’ group. The number of boys in the parish his age far out-numbered the girls his age, but he was one of only two boys that went to the training class along with many little girls. The other boy would not sign up for Masses to serve even after he was trained. My son became the only boy regularly donning an alb and serving in our parish. He frequently asked other boys to become servers, but they always refused to get in the “girls’ group.”
In the second parish, the priest allowed girls to serve per the direction of the bishop, but the priest strongly encouraged boys to serve. He required the new servers to be at least 4th graders strong enough to carry the heaviest processional crucifix steadily. He had the servers dress in cassocks covered with surplices. He required that they be reverent and attentive to the Mass at all times. The teen-aged boys that served set good examples for the younger servers. My oldest son was too young to serve when we first moved into this parish, but soon reached the age to serve, underwent the training, and volunteered to serve every Mass we went to. He had to stand in line for a turn to serve under this priest with other enthusiastic young boys. A few girls wanted to serve and were allowed to on occasion, but were not allowed to displace the boys.
We whole-heartedly encourage all our sons to serve, and they are very enthusiastic about serving. Now we are in a parish that has only boys serving. There is usually a line of boys begging the priest to allow them to serve before each Mass. Our priest finds a job for each of them. We always have bells and oftentimes incense. I have complimented our priest for his knack for encouraging the boys to serve. He certainly has a gift for making the priesthood look inviting.
My husband and I agreed when we were in the first parish that we would not allow our daughters to be altar servers. I have had the absolute pleasure of working on the altar society and encourage my daughters to serve the Lord in this way for the pure pleasure of doing the menial cleaning chores that make the sanctuary so inviting. I also make a point to introduce my daughters to sisters in habit whenever I have the chance. The sisters I have met that were not in habits were so crabby I made a point of not introducing my daughters to them. We have met so many lovely nuns over the years. I encourage my daughters to seriously consider religious vocations.
I am a firm believer in the phrase “Grow where you are planted.” Still as a responsible parent, I seriously consider the environment that I put my children into. When our bishop moved out our manly priest and put two very effeminate priests in our parish, my husband and I decided to drive further to go to a parish with a masculine priest. We also frequently attend Masses at a seminary near our new parish. Happily, we are able to make the 3 hour round trip each Sunday and most holy days. We surround our family with devout, manly priests. The effect on our children is beautiful. They love the priests, deacons, seminarians, and novices. My sons love to quote Fr. Pablo Straub, who they heard give a homily at the seminary. He said, “It’s great to be a priest. It’s even better to be a bishop.”
As long as I keep giving life to the children God chooses to bless me with, and as long as the priests they meet are as joyful as the ones we surround them with now, I feel sure vocations will be fostered in my family. I pray that other families will also be blessed with vocations.