Girl or Guy?

[xyneshia]

A lifetime of feeling like a freak is going to cause that no matter what. It’s not limited to transfolk.

My mother has been taking hormone replacement therapy since she had an emergency hysterectomy at the age of 32. Lots of people take medication in order to stay alive, healthy, etc.

Many transfolk don’t transition until after they have tried really, really hard to be the gender they’re “supposed to be”, which means that some of them already have kids. Otherwise, they aren’t much different than any other infertile person. One of my ex-boyfriends (who is now female) never did have viable sperm (she had it checked when her former wife was trying to get pregnant).

Which should make it clear that people who go through the entire process are not doing it lightly. In the case of my ex, she has found a wonderful man who loves her just as she is, she’s too old now to have kids even if she could or wanted any, and she’s happier than she ever was as a man. However, nothing will undo the damage of living as a man - and hating her male body - for 35 years.

I am sure you are being sincere, but I think you missed my point a little. Thanks for the response though.

There is a big difference between a woman having a hysterectomy and taking female hormones and a man changing his sex and then taking female hormones. I do have friends that have had hysterectomies and they do feel like less of a woman afterward. I have known men with vasectomies that feel like less of a man afterward. I appreciate your response, but the analogy is a little bit flawed. My concern here is sincere, not malicous.

Last I checked, infertility can cause a person a lot of pain, you kinda brushed that one off. I understand a small percentage may have had children while trying to live in the body nature gave them but that doesn’t nullify the emotional pain that this is going to cause someone who couldn’t bring themself to procreate. I know that being a woman, if I felt like a man, there is no way in heck I would be able to be intimate with someone. It seems like a woman who becomes a man may still not feel like she is “fully a man” if she cannot procreate like a man.

I never said that anyone is doing it “lightly”. As a matter of fact, I think that I have stated the opposite in previous posts and now in this one. It seems from your post that you think maybe I am trying to be malicious or hurt someones feelings. Nothing could be further from the truth. Learning from the tg people on this forum has made me think a lot on the issue. These questions are just a few things that I think could be better answered by a tg person than my imagination. That is why I ask them. Again I would never post here with the intent of offending anyone or hurting anyones feelings, I was trying to ask these questions with all compassion and charity and if they came off as anything other than that please accept my apologies.
Xyneshia

 

[aspawloski4th]

I am sure you are being sincere, but I think you missed my point a little. Thanks for the response though.

There is a big difference between a woman having a hysterectomy and taking female hormones and a man changing his sex and then taking female hormones. I do have friends that have had hysterectomies and they do feel like less of a woman afterward. I have known men with vasectomies that feel like less of a man afterward. I appreciate your response, but the analogy is a little bit flawed. My concern here is sincere, not malicous.

Last I checked, infertility can cause a person a lot of pain, you kinda brushed that one off. I understand a small percentage may have had children while trying to live in the body nature gave them but that doesn’t nullify the emotional pain that this is going to cause someone who couldn’t bring themself to procreate. I know that being a woman, if I felt like a man, there is no way in heck I would be able to be intimate with someone. It seems like a woman who becomes a man may still not feel like she is “fully a man” if she cannot procreate like a man.

I never said that anyone is doing it “lightly”. As a matter of fact, I think that I have stated the opposite in previous posts and now in this one. It seems from your post that you think maybe I am trying to be malicious or hurt someones feelings. Nothing could be further from the truth. Learning from the tg people on this forum has made me think a lot on the issue. These questions are just a few things that I think could be better answered by a tg person than my imagination. That is why I ask them. Again I would never post here with the intent of offending anyone or hurting anyones feelings, I was trying to ask these questions with all compassion and charity and if they came off as anything other than that please accept my apologies.
Xyneshia

Keep in mind procreating isn’t everything to every one. Some are happy to adopt. If it weren’t for the adoption of who would be my late grandfather, there would be no Pawloski family or me today.

 

[MarieCB]

There is a big difference between a woman having a hysterectomy and taking female hormones and a man changing his sex and then taking female hormones. I do have friends that have had hysterectomies and they do feel like less of a woman afterward. I have known men with vasectomies that feel like less of a man afterward. I appreciate your response, but the analogy is a little bit flawed. My concern here is sincere, not malicous.

I actually didn’t think you were being malicious, actually.

A transwoman who can’t have kids is unlikely to feel like “less” of a woman because her sense of being a woman wasn’t focused on her genitals. The fact that she no longer has the foreign-feeling dangling bits would make her feel like more of a woman because her body, and her appearance to the world, would now match her mental and emotional awareness of herself as a woman.

It’s unfortunate that someone would consider themselves less of a man or a woman because of a hysterectomy or vasectomy. I have difficulty comprehending the reasons behind that, except to think that it’s a side effect of defining yourself by your genitals. But what you had asked was - wouldn’t it be emotionally draining to take medicine to maintain one’s physical gender. Personally, I can’t see why that would be different than taking lifetime medication for any other medical issue. My trans friends have been more on the side of “Hurray for hormone therapy!”

Last I checked, infertility can cause a person a lot of pain, you kinda brushed that one off.

I’m not sure if I would say I brushed it off, but that it would be no DIFFERENT than any other person who can’t have children. As I said, my ex-boyfriend was unable to impregnate his ex-wife. The one pregnancy he did cause miscarried at eight weeks.

I understand a small percentage may have had children while trying to live in the body nature gave them but that doesn’t nullify the emotional pain that this is going to cause someone who couldn’t bring themself to procreate.

This is definitely a question that would need to be answered by the transfolk on the forum. Although I’ve had many issues in my life, infertility has certainly never been one of them.

I know that being a woman, if I felt like a man, there is no way in heck I would be able to be intimate with someone.

And the transfolk that I have known have intimacy problems that continue throughout their lives. Before they attempt to transition, they often overcompensate, trying desperately to live as the gender of their body, and just as often failing miserably. It’s the same as gay people getting married, having kids, trying desperately to prove that there’s nothing wrong.

After they begin transition, well, then come the issues of who to date and when to tell them about the transition. And it’s hard to erase a lifetime of despising your body.

It seems like a woman who becomes a man may still not feel like she is “fully a man” if she cannot procreate like a man.

Hmmm … F2M is a completely different beast than M2F. As the saying goes, “It’s easier to dig a hole than build a pole.” Most transmen don’t have penises, even fewer have functional penises, so I don’t think they worry too much about being able to impregnate a woman. They’re just happy to be visibly identified as the gender to which they relate.

I never said that anyone is doing it “lightly”.

Well, I wasn’t trying to quote you when I said they’re not doing it lightly. I meant to indicate that the questions you’re raising are generally considered, AFAIK. I think someone else pointed out that a person can’t get SRS without an ok by a psychiatrist. It’s a really long process.

 

[xyneshia]

Hmmm … F2M is a completely different beast than M2F. As the saying goes, “It’s easier to dig a hole than build a pole.”

thats cute, never heard that but it makes sense.

Well, I wasn’t trying to quote you when I said they’re not doing it lightly. I meant to indicate that the questions you’re raising are generally considered, AFAIK. I think someone else pointed out that a person can’t get SRS without an ok by a psychiatrist. It’s a really long process.

what is AFAIK?

Thank you for your replies.

 

[MarieCB]

thats cute, never heard that but it makes sense.

what is AFAIK?

Thank you for your replies.

As Far As I Know. I try to make it clear that what I say is based on my experiences.

I think most people who aren’t hanging out with transfolk won’t have heard that expression.

 

[hyflyer64]

Hello, I can see that there is a pretty intense debate going on here, please forgive me for going back in time a little with my question. Like I promised earlier on, I did a bit meditating on the issue at hand. Now all of you know what I believe about the issue so I will not go there. But I do have a serious concern/question. It seems that once a person goes through with the surgery (or even if they do not but choose to present themself as the opposite sex) that they may end up feeling …trying to think of the right words…insufficient? That person must continually take hormone thearapy right? That must be taxing emotionally to have to take medicine to keep one’s gender.

Xyneshia, we don’t take the hormones to “keep one’s gender”. It’s the same as a woman having a hysterectomy or menopause. She has to take estrogen to keep from developing a beard and masculine features. Even though we’ve had our testes removed, there are glands in our bodies that still produce low levels of testosterone and the same goes for a
genetic woman. Some, of corse, worse than others.

Also it seems that for t/g people who wants kids…well they just lost their ability to have them. On top of that it sounds like a lot of you come from regions of the country where you will be rediculed for this choice for the rest of your life. (which is terrible by the way).

Like ?? ( I really need to write things down ) said, a lot of us, in an attempt to be “normal” did the “normal” thing. We married and had children. * Please read some of my earlier posts and you’ll get a feel for the cost.* We can adopt.
Going through counceling, I was part of a group of 6. One of the gals, in her early 30s, had always wanted to be able to actually bear a child. Impossible of course She met a woman and fell in love. Told her everything. This woman, who was divorced and had a 4 yr old boy, didn’t care if my friend was a bit affeminate as long as she forgot about wearing dresses. So my friend took the opportunity for the next best thing and got married. In addition to the now 11 yr.old, they have 2 sets of twins. The last time I spoke with my friend, she told me that she felt that she still was TS but did not feel that she had to act on it.
If you want to get a feel for what this (TS) can do to you, pick up the book: “She’s not There - A Life in Two Genders” by Jennifer Finney Boylan. She’s a professor of English at the University of Maine.
My friend is doing the same thing Jenny did. Thinking that love can make her normal.

My concern, and again I am not judging anyone, ( these are serious questions), wouldn’t going through this process substitute one kind of emtional scar for another?
Imagine being born “nearly blind”… the trials and tribulations of just trying to live life as normally as you could. ( I don’t think I need to elaborate ) Then you discover that surgery can give you perfect sight. So you do it and you can see. Now you don’t need the assitance of all the people you once did. They feel unwanted and you loose some of them. You see that the world can be ugly but you also see all of it’s beauty clearly. You feel whole. Oh, BTW, we all have emotinal scars. Some become a lot easier to bear with time.

Given the tremendous amount of thought and research that some of you have done I was hoping maybe I could get some thoughts on this from a few of the t/g people on this forum. Thank you in advance for your replies.
ps I am really exhausted right now please forgive the grammer and spelling errors.
Xyneshia

You’re forgiven

 

[xyneshia]

Thanks to everyone who replied to my questions. I guess I know the answer now. These are really non issues for most t’g people.

Hyflyer, my comment about people living in regions where they are ridiculed was for a reason. I live in Oregon and the mayor of my city is a crossdresser, and all in all it’s really not any sort of a big deal. T/g people out here are called (and call themselves) “trannies” and I dont think anyone gives a second look or a second thought. One of the t/g people on this forum was educating me awhile ago – something to the effect of Michigan not being a very tg friendly state and Oregon being known for being a very TG friendly state. Sorry, cannnot remember who told me that but he/she seemed honest enough.

I will look for that book next time i go down to Borders. ( I go there often.) Granted I disagree with most the people here on the treatment of being t/g or intersxd I would like to thank all of you for the info you shared. Out here t’g people are really accepted so I never really gave a lot of thought to the issue.

Obviously I have not devoted years of thought to it like the people here but it has been on my mind a lot lately and I now have a greater understanding of it, and appreciate your struggles more. I wish nothing but the best for each of you in bearing this cross. Several of you have shared that society treats/treated you like freaks, I will pray that those attitudes change. Again, thanks to each of you who helped me understand this better and for answering my questions.
Rachel

 

[aspawloski4th]

Thanks to everyone who replied to my questions. I guess I know the answer now. These are really non issues for most t’g people.

Hyflyer, my comment about people living in regions where they are ridiculed was for a reason. I live in Oregon and the mayor of my city is a crossdresser, and all in all it’s really not any sort of a big deal. T/g people out here are called (and call themselves) “trannies” and I dont think anyone gives a second look or a second thought. One of the t/g people on this forum was educating me awhile ago – something to the effect of Michigan not being a very tg friendly state and Oregon being known for being a very TG friendly state. Sorry, cannnot remember who told me that but he/she seemed honest enough.

I will look for that book next time i go down to Borders. ( I go there often.) Granted I disagree with most the people here on the treatment of being t/g or intersxd I would like to thank all of you for the info you shared. Out here t’g people are really accepted so I never really gave a lot of thought to the issue.

Obviously I have not devoted years of thought to it like the people here but it has been on my mind a lot lately and I now have a greater understanding of it, and appreciate your struggles more. I wish nothing but the best for each of you in bearing this cross. Several of you have shared that society treats/treated you like freaks, I will pray that those attitudes change. Again, thanks to each of you who helped me understand this better and for answering my questions.
Rachel

Another good book to read on the subject is “True Selves” it is at most public libraries. It covers all the aspects in dealing with transsexualism in a complete yet concise way and reads very well. At least you are open minded and open to learning. My parents would rather see a book like that burned rather than read.

 

[hyflyer64]

Thanks to everyone who replied to my questions. I guess I know the answer now. These are really non issues for most t’g people.

Hyflyer, my comment about people living in regions where they are ridiculed was for a reason. I live in Oregon and the mayor of my city is a crossdresser, and all in all it’s really not any sort of a big deal. T/g people out here are called (and call themselves) “trannies” and I dont think anyone gives a second look or a second thought. One of the t/g people on this forum was educating me awhile ago – something to the effect of Michigan not being a very tg friendly state and Oregon being known for being a very TG friendly state. Sorry, cannnot remember who told me that but he/she seemed honest enough.

I will look for that book next time i go down to Borders. ( I go there often.) Granted I disagree with most the people here on the treatment of being t/g or intersxd I would like to thank all of you for the info you shared. Out here t’g people are really accepted so I never really gave a lot of thought to the issue.

Obviously I have not devoted years of thought to it like the people here but it has been on my mind a lot lately and I now have a greater understanding of it, and appreciate your struggles more. I wish nothing but the best for each of you in bearing this cross. Several of you have shared that society treats/treated you like freaks, I will pray that those attitudes change. Again, thanks to each of you who helped me understand this better and for answering my questions.
Rachel

Please keep in mind that presently, for most of us, surgery is the only course of action that has proven to be a viable recourse for us. Some of us are more fortunate in that we “pass” fairly well. However, I would not go around calling myself a “trannie” and would not be comfortable in public with “trannies”. I tend to keep a low profile, even here in South Florida, as far as letting people know about my background. Bit, I do have a very high profile job. I’m a flight attendant.

And… thanks for your prayers

Rachel

 

[Charles_22]

You are on a slippery slope there, because that sounds like God is willing somebody to sin.

Not really. Allowing it to happen, being part of His Will, has nothing to do with willing them to sin. He merely allows the opportunity at times; the test if you will. He also ‘allowed’ satan to harass Job, but the devil was never under orders to do so. The devil acted according to his nature (like a lion roaming about) and didn’t need orders to do what he did anyway, but I think the virtually free hand the devil was given was more an indication that the Lord had previously given Job very much protection from the devil’s hand. Perhaps it’s something that Our Lord in such a position of protection would say to one who had beseeched him before about allowing him a free hand, but kept being denied.

 

[Charles_22]

I’ll tell you what is insulting. Very early on a while ago. You treated me and other trans people being called what we want to be called was not our irght, but how dare we. I’m tired of debating something that has quite a bit of science to it, with someone who act ambivelent to science at best and maybe despises science at worst. The same attitude that got Galleo wrongfully put in prison. I’m tired of debating those who who have no sense of compassion. Don’t make the starving and famie comparisons it will fall on deaf ears. Ive had physical suffering too. Iv’e passed 33 kidneystones and been operated on to remove a 34th stone, so I know what physical pain is all about. Bun ironically a trillion of those stones doesn’t hold a candle to having to pretend to be amle every day. You’d likely agree to find a way to stop the stones from coming isnt out of line even though the wrose pain to stop is transition to female, and you’d likely say no to that even though that would be dealing with the more harsh of the 2 condiditions hands down. Well I’m choosing to end my some of my suffering I’m transitioning. Before you judge anymore walk a few miles in my shoes.

Nope, you’re putting words in my mouth. I stated that with somebody who said they were one thing, but wished to be called another, I would not back up such deception by calling them the phoney pronoun. As far as the alleged tg of our flyer friend goes, she has not stated, to my knowledge anyway, that she wishes to follow your idea of being called what she is not. In fact, she seems to be offended for my calling her (what she is not - “he”) and yet that’s the very thing you want (the sex you want, as opposed to the sex you are). You and flyer aren’t on the same page. Don’t lump your peculiar desire for being what you are not into other tg people, as I have yet to see any other tg person ever claim that. I’m not saying my exposure to tg people is anything noteworthy, only that I have never heard such a request. True, it’s something in this leftist world that doesn’t surprise me, and it may be a pretty common ploy amongst some of tg’s, but I certainly haven’t heard it, nor would I insult the others which don’t wish to be called what they are not, by making such a global generalization.

BTW, I never said anything about RIGHTS, as that’s part of your invention to paint me in a worser light. For those who wish to called what they are not, go ahead, fine by me, I just won’t go along with such a deception. You should be ashamed that you would wish people to falsify for you. Become female, and that’s another matter. And BTW, not only did my parents not say anything about always calling people what they want, if they had, they would had been referring to what “name” people wish to be called, not agreeing to call people what sex they themselves say they are not (and AFAIK that refers to only one tg person I have encountered). So your argument that I wish all tg to have no rights to do what you have done, is completely and entirely without foundation. If you had said that I intend to never honor the request to call people what they are not, then and only then would you be correct, and since not all tg people are like that, neither you nor I can lump them into this arguemnt.

Where you ever got me talking about science too, is another product of your imagination as far as I can tell. Or is that part of your system? You know, the ol’ ploy that you don’t believe as me in my issue, and allegedly science backs it (never mind that I spoke not on science to my knowledge) so therefore you disdain science? Funny that never took place, but to some extent you are right, as science is largely a bastion of leftist drivel these days, so naturally a guy more interested in the Church, than what has largely been an enemy of the Church (of late) would stand opposed. Perhaps you should ask yourself whether science which will not save you is more important than catholicism which can (you know, the ol’ honesty angle. Honesty would dictate that you shouldn’t wish others to lie for you)? Me and anybody else who wishes to call you which you are not, will merely soldify yourself in making this issue of yours more of a contradiction/confusion it would seem for yourself, even if some form of honesty were not at stake here. Seems your goal of wanting to be female would only prove all the more irritating, I mean, afterall, the whole world can do as you ask in calling you female, and as much as it might seem helpful in your “stated” goal, you will be not the least bit closer. Even taking on something of your cloak, and casting honesty aside, I don’t see how this could prove beneficial. True, you’re in a sticky wicket I suppose, by as our flyer friend seemed to iterate, you have to make do as best you can, which your request wouldn’t fit into that category as far as I can tell.

So why don’t you ask hyflyer64 if what you request is part of doing the best you can do?

 

[Charles_22]

I can empathize with you Charles. I’ve been there several times, having lost my mother, father, sister and aunt to cancer. However, I feel that things are getting a bit contentuous and that we’ve strayed from the original thread.
I’m tired and I’m going to bed. Good night all.

Good so maybe you understand then that my time was short and I fumbled on what you were saying. I’m not goignt o review it again, bit it seemed to me in my haste that you had leaped against what I believe, and then elsewhere in the same quote went right along. You said something I did confused you, well I think the first time I saw you in this thread the same could be said of my viewing. The only problem was I didn’t realize that immediately. I have a little more time on my hands today, having returned from the hospital a while ago, so perhaps today’s writings will prove more consistent (but perhaps appalling nonetheless).

 

[aspawloski4th]

Nope, you’re putting words in my mouth. I stated that with somebody who said they were one thing, but wished to be called another, I would not back up such deception by calling them the phoney pronoun. As far as the alleged tg of our flyer friend goes, she has not stated, to my knowledge anyway, that she wishes to follow your idea of being called what she is not. In fact, she seems to be offended for my calling her (what she is not - “he”) and yet that’s the very thing you want (the sex you want, as opposed to the sex you are). You and flyer aren’t on the same page. Don’t lump your peculiar desire for being what you are not into other tg people, as I have yet to see any other tg person ever claim that. I’m not saying my exposure to tg people is anything noteworthy, only that I have never heard such a request. True, it’s something in this leftist world that doesn’t surprise me, and it may be a pretty common ploy amongst some of tg’s, but I certainly haven’t heard it, nor would I insult the others which don’t wish to be called what they are not, by making such a global generalization.

BTW, I never said anything about RIGHTS, as that’s part of your invention to paint me in a worser light. For those who wish to called what they are not, go ahead, fine by me, I just won’t go along with such a deception. You should be ashamed that you would wish people to falsify for you. Become female, and that’s another matter. And BTW, not only did my parents not say anything about always calling people what they want, if they had, they would had been referring to what “name” people wish to be called, not agreeing to call people what sex they themselves say they are not (and AFAIK that refers to only one tg person I have encountered). So your argument that I wish all tg to have no rights to do what you have done, is completely and entirely without foundation. If you had said that I intend to never honor the request to call people what they are not, then and only then would you be correct, and since not all tg people are like that, neither you nor I can lump them into this arguemnt.

Where you ever got me talking about science too, is another product of your imagination as far as I can tell. Or is that part of your system? You know, the ol’ ploy that you don’t believe as me in my issue, and allegedly science backs it (never mind that I spoke not on science to my knowledge) so therefore you disdain science? Funny that never took place, but to some extent you are right, as science is largely a bastion of leftist drivel these days, so naturally a guy more interested in the Church, than what has largely been an enemy of the Church (of late) would stand opposed. Perhaps you should ask yourself whether science which will not save you is more important than catholicism which can (you know, the ol’ honesty angle. Honesty would dictate that you shouldn’t wish others to lie for you)? Me and anybody else who wishes to call you which you are not, will merely soldify yourself in making this issue of yours more of a contradiction/confusion it would seem for yourself, even if some form of honesty were not at stake here. Seems your goal of wanting to be female would only prove all the more irritating, I mean, afterall, the whole world can do as you ask in calling you female, and as much as it might seem helpful in your “stated” goal, you will be not the least bit closer. Even taking on something of your cloak, and casting honesty aside, I don’t see how this could prove beneficial. True, you’re in a sticky wicket I suppose, by as our flyer friend seemed to iterate, you have to make do as best you can, which your request wouldn’t fit into that category as far as I can tell.

So why don’t you ask hyflyer64 if what you request is part of doing the best you can do?

Well. Not only do I read what is written, but because mentally I’m female I read between the lines also. With the zeal you have argued here, I get the impression that you wish this would all just go away. One thing that irks me is why do you even care what I and others like hyflyer are called? So what if it doesn’t agree with you view of the world. Maybe you didn’t say all the things Infered to you, but you implied it and it fits the general attitude you have shown here. I take umbrage at your attitude putting me in a (figuretive) box. By the way hyflyer and I have become friends what we discuss is our private matter.

 

[Charles_22]

the dialogue you were involved in with another poster earlier on with the ‘fill in the blanks/mr clampett’ stuff wasnt very nice was it? can you not see the insulting behaviour you were partaking in there … whats your explanation out of that one?

Though I did not originate the “joke” (I added to it), if you will, my emphasis, though doubtlessly many could not see that, was on being against dishonesty. I deeply despise the notion that we expect others to lie for us, as indeed, for those pursuing honesty one of the primary challenges to remain honest comes from people, often bosses, trying to use us to lie for them to get them out of situations they don’t want to deal with. Don’'t we have enough problems with staying honest without dragging other people into it? I suppose some people feel, as I probably did back in the old days, that I am getting out of telling a lie, than to lie myself, but it doesn’t work that way. We think we are diminishing untruth upon ourself, by casting it on someone else, but the reality is we’re making it worse instead, because not only are we the instrument of the lie, which never would had happened without us, but we make liars of somebody else too. THAT, is what I have been railing about. I’m sure there’s plenty of tg’s that don’t have others lie for them as one poster requested. The fact that he’s tg is an incidental part of why I won’t do the dishonorable thing in agreeing to such a request. My boss wasn’t tg, and I wouldn’t honor his request to lie for him either.

 

[aussie_jaz]

Though I did not originate the “joke” (I added to it), if you will, my emphasis, though doubtlessly many could not see that, was on being against dishonesty. I deeply despise the notion that we expect others to lie for us, as indeed, for those pursuing honesty one of the primary challenges to remain honest comes from people, often bosses, trying to use us to lie for them to get them out of situations they don’t want to deal with. Don’'t we have enough problems with staying honest without dragging other people into it? I suppose some people feel, as I probably did back in the old days, that I am getting out of telling a lie, than to lie myself, but it doesn’t work that way. We think we are diminishing untruth upon ourself, by casting it on someone else, but the reality is we’re making it worse instead, because not only are we the instrument of the lie, which never would had happened without us, but we make liars of somebody else too. THAT, is what I have been railing about. I’m sure there’s plenty of tg’s that don’t have others lie for them as one poster requested. The fact that he’s tg is an incidental part of why I won’t do the dishonorable thing in agreeing to such a request. My boss wasn’t tg, and I wouldn’t honor his request to lie for him either.

so where is the lie in this situation then?
this thread is clearly about people who have had or a having srs (ts people)not crossdressers which i would then be able to see your point (agreeing being another thing).
that whole dialogue was about trying to humilliate tg people and saying we are wrong and have mental problems.clearly your are not reading the posts on this thread very well except for those that are in your own ignorant views of things.

 

[Charles_22]

A lifetime of feeling like a freak is going to cause that no matter what. It’s not limited to transfolk.

My mother has been taking hormone replacement therapy since she had an emergency hysterectomy at the age of 32. Lots of people take medication in order to stay alive, healthy, etc.

Many transfolk don’t transition until after they have tried really, really hard to be the gender they’re “supposed to be”, which means that some of them already have kids. Otherwise, they aren’t much different than any other infertile person. One of my ex-boyfriends (who is now female) never did have viable sperm (she had it checked when her former wife was trying to get pregnant).

Which should make it clear that people who go through the entire process are not doing it lightly. In the case of my ex, she has found a wonderful man who loves her just as she is, she’s too old now to have kids even if she could or wanted any, and she’s happier than she ever was as a man. However, nothing will undo the damage of living as a man - and hating her male body - for 35 years.

Doubtlessly a good many tg people, not all, would tell me this is a stupid comparison, but I cannot but think it is the truth. I had a similar crisis once upon a time. mine, however, was whether I should pursue marriage. Here I was single, not really wanting to do anything about getting married, but still wanting it, and it tore me apart. So I decided that God wanted me to stay single, and I’ve been much happier since. Being of a tg tendency, sounds to me more difficult than the problem of which I had, but I would think that solution is the same regardless, and that is, to choose one or the other, with God’s help, and quit torturing yourself by always being in the middle so to speak. Imagine somebody stepping one way because he wasn’t sure he turned the outside porch light on, and then stepping another because he was then sure he did, and doing that over and over. Sound insane?

Now you may say, but you don’t know how badly this other frame of mind keeps popping up against whichever direction I take, and I say that it will only diminish, perhaps entirely go away, only when you keep feeding the decision you made. I still have regrets that I never married, that nothing ever came close to working out, but you have to get yourself, with God’s help, around such destructive thought. Every major decision like marriage for some, tg for others, is going to have times where the decision we didn’t make is going to rear up against us somewhat, and you just have to remind yourself “The Lord wants me here and here I shall stay. Get lost, object of my madness. It’s good for others, but not for myself.”

 

[aussie_jaz]

Doubtlessly a good many tg people, not all, would tell me this is a stupid comparison, but I cannot but think it is the truth. I had a similar crisis once upon a time. mine, however, was whether I should pursue marriage. Here I was single, not really wanting to do anything about getting married, but still wanting it, and it tore me apart. So I decided that God wanted me to stay single, and I’ve been much happier since. Being of a tg tendency, sounds to me more difficult than the problem of which I had, but I would think that solution is the same regardless, and that is, to choose one or the other, with God’s help, and quit torturing yourself by always being in the middle so to speak. Imagine somebody stepping one way because he wasn’t sure he turned the outside porch light on, and then stepping another because he was then sure he did, and doing that over and over. Sound insane?

Now you may say, but you don’t know how badly this other frame of mind keeps popping up against whichever direction I take, and I say that it will only diminish, perhaps entirely go away, only when you keep feeding the decision you made. I still have regrets that I never married, that nothing ever came close to working out, but you have to get yourself, with God’s help, around such destructive thought. Every major decision like marriage for some, tg for others, is going to have times where the decision we didn’t make is going to rear up against us somewhat, and you just have to remind yourself “The Lord wants me here and here I shall stay. Get lost, object of my madness. It’s good for others, but not for myself.”

why must one siatuation have to be compared with another in the first place?
there is nothing in life that can compare to the transsex life just as there is nothing to compare to the life of somebody who suffers from chronic heart problems,cirrosis of the liver,autism or any other specialist medical problems.to try and make a comparison between a medical issue and a non medical issue … hey lets compare the growth of trees with the fuel capacity of a jumbo jet

 

[Charles_22]

MariaCB:

After they begin transition, well, then come the issues of who to date and when to tell them about the transition. And it’s hard to erase a lifetime of despising your body.

Is it fair to assume that all tg’s hate their bodies? For those who do, why? I guess this can get confusing, but I don’t understand why you would hate a body, period. If your body is the opposite of what you think you are, wouldn’t you be even more prone to love it (man this is going to get screwy)? I mean, if you’re really female at heart, then you would be drawn to males, which your body is, so why hate it? OTOH, I am male, and though I’m not homosexual I don’t hate male bodies, nor do I hate the opposite, the one I would be drawn towards, the female body. So in the matter of just body alone, I see no reason to hate whatever you have. I can understand being torn, but it’s just that I hear this phrase so many times, that it sounds like tg’s literally hate the body they have, when in fact, I guess it would be more accurate to say a good many of them just hate being more drawn to the gender their body is not (wishing for cohesion). Comments?

 

[aussie_jaz]

MariaCB:
Is it fair to assume that all tg’s hate their bodies? For those who do, why? I guess this can get confusing, but I don’t understand why you would hate a body, period. If your body is the opposite of what you think you are, wouldn’t you be even more prone to love it (man this is going to get screwy)? I mean, if you’re really female at heart, then you would be drawn to males, which your body is, so why hate it? OTOH, I am male, and though I’m not homosexual I don’t hate male bodies, nor do I hate the opposite, the one I would be drawn towards, the female body. So in the matter of just body alone, I see no reason to hate whatever you have. I can understand being torn, but it’s just that I hear this phrase so many times, that it sounds like tg’s literally hate the body they have, when in fact, I guess it would be more accurate to say a good many of them just hate being more drawn to the gender their body is not (wishing for cohesion). Comments?

so are you suggesting we should be lusting after our own bodies?
yes very screwy
hating my body …no
hating certain parts of the body …yes
it seems to me your just going back to the old arguement taken by people who know nothing about the situation and care to learn nothing that it is all about sex.

 

[Charles_22]

so where is the lie in this situation then?
this thread is clearly about people who have had or a having srs (ts people)not crossdressers which i would then be able to see your point (agreeing being another thing).
that whole dialogue was about trying to humilliate tg people and saying we are wrong and have mental problems.clearly your are not reading the posts on this thread very well except for those that are in your own ignorant views of things.

Go on insulting me, you’re doing just fine (two can play that game). Perhaps you missed this, but aspawloski4th stated that he was male, but wanted to be called the female pronoun (since he desired to be female IIRC). Now where isn’t a lie if I so comply?