Girlfriend on Contraceptive Pills for Medical Reasons

[underacloud]

I think JackieMom, EasterJoy, and 1ke have adequately covered the moral aspects of people taking contraceptives as medication. Of course, no one seems to kow why the OP’s girlfriend is taking them, so it’s all quite hypothetical at this stage. Not to mention the further hypothetical issues (converting, potential disparity of cult, potential baptism, potential ABC disagreement, potential non-consumation, etc).

But I’m a little concerned about this comment…

Since I travel to see her and her family (while one could reasonably question if this works, it does in this case) if we end it I fear I’d lose any meaningful connection to her family. She’s not spiritually prepared enough for their benefit, not to mention I’m worried for her keeping the faith without the effect of baptism.

Do you see dating this girl as some form of evangelism? I don’t think you should date, and potentially marry someone, as a way to bring them to the faith. And you certainly shouldn’t stay in a relationship because you want to keep in contact with the girlfriend’s family, whether to evangelise or simply because you enjoy their company. If you have reasons for remaining in this relatiosnhip other than merely to discern marriage, then I think you’ve got some serious thinking to do before getting too worried about the finer details.

Or maybe I’m just reading to much into this comment above?

 

[Lasting_faith]

All I know it that you are not really helping them. You argue about things that really has nothing to do with who is going to marry who and is it OK by I don’t know who.

Being sick is not a sin. If she need medication she does. And that is pretty much it. I see this as a medical problem and it can be solved with proper care. If she can not get pregnant she can’t. No debate in the world will change that. When someone is sick, no matter what it may be or not, hope is the last thing in the world that should be taken from them.

I do not see any reason why they could not get married in a Catholic Church. Medical issues are quite common and only a few may affect on the possibilty to consume the marriage, and as far as I can gather there is nothing wrong with the ability to consume the marriage. He did ask a delicate question seeking advice and help, and so far you have not given much of either one. What they need is support, and if this web-site is the place he did choose give him (them) hope, that is what they seek and that is what they have a right to.

 

[MJJean]

If it helps, Almost, my eldest daughter is taking the pill because she has a hormone imbalance. Our understanding of Church law is that she has done nothing wrong as the pill is to treat another medical condition.

I understand your fears regarding sex and the possibility that a child could be unintentionally aborted or that a child could be conceived and have a birth defect. These are serious concerns. It is totally reasonable that you want as much information as possible to make a fully informed decision about marriage to this woman. The problem is that a lot of people do not really understand why they are on medications or what those medications actually do or even if there are other alternatives that would work just as well. People tend to do whatever the doctor says they should do with few questions.

I would suggest you speak to your lady and ask that you attend the next doctor appointment and that you be allowed to air your concerns with the doctor and ask any questions you have. And I always encourage people to seek second opinions.

In addition, I would also like to share my story. I was on the pill for contraceptive reasons before I began to convert to Catholicism. It was many years ago and I was more or less an atheist. Anyways, I became ill and was put on additional medication. I became accidentally pregnant. No one, not my doctor or pharmacist, told me that the medication I was on would interfere with the contraceptive even though both knew I was on the pill.

If you proceed with marriage to this lady and you are concerned that she could become pregnant accidentally while on medication that could cause birth defects I would highly suggest that you and she both make sure that any medications she is on now and any medication she may be put on in the future will not interfere with the pill. If you should find that a new or existing medication could interfere with the effectiveness of the pill and that she could become pregnant I would use NFP to prevent that from happening unless/until the medication that could cause deformity is changed to something safer or out of her system.

 

[underacloud]

He did ask a delicate question seeking advice and help, and so far you have not given much of either one. What they need is support, and if this web-site is the place he did choose give him (them) hope, that is what they seek and that is what they have a right to.

I don’t think that’s fair at all. Many posters have provided a good account of the Church’s teachings regarding the morality of medical treatments that have a contraceptive effect and the implications this has for married couples (or those contemplating marriage), which is what the OP asked about. The OP himself has acknowledged this advice and continued to ask questions, which have in turn been answered.

 

[Lasting_faith]

As I did point out, this is not a religius question, it is a medical one. The Church say it is OK to use contraceptive pills if the primary goal is to treat a illness. I do not know what she may suffer from, but I have a few good guesses. Main thing though is that because they can marry, but maybe not have children, seem to be so important for you to figure out and ponder left and right that you forget that the OP is a real human, flesh and blood, with a girl he want to marry. Please let him have his dignity intact. Yes, you have give a lot of good advices, and some even try to really help, I give you that. But the fact remain, this is a medical problem that can not be solved without medication. They have to live with that, every day, you will not remember them a year from now. Sorry if I am harsh, but sometimes someone need to say what nobody want to hear.

 

[Cojuanco]

Leaving aside the moral principles related to medication, if you do become Catholic, the problem will be the fact that the Church will not consider your girlfriend Christian or baptized. The Church says Mormons are not Christians and do not baptize validly. This is a disparity of cult, which ordinarily renders such marriages invalid. Now a dispensation from the law can be obtained by the priest, of course, but your different religions might be a possible problem years down the line, especially where children and religious education are involved, because a Catholic spouse is bound to do all he can to raise his children Catholic. In fact, that is one of the reasons why the law exists in the first place - to prevent indifferentism among children.

 

[EasterJoy]

Leaving aside the moral principles related to medication, if you do become Catholic, the problem will be the fact that the Church will not consider your girlfriend Christian or baptized. The Church says Mormons are not Christians and do not baptize validly. This is a disparity of cult, which ordinarily renders such marriages invalid. Now a dispensation from the law can be obtained by the priest, of course, but your different religions might be a possible problem years down the line, especially where children and religious education are involved, because a Catholic spouse is bound to do all he can to raise his children Catholic. In fact, that is one of the reasons why the law exists in the first place - to prevent indifferentism among children.

And vice versa. Mormons do not accept Catholic baptisms as valid, either, and both would forbid simultaneous baptism into two different faiths. If there is ever a case when it is possible to conceive of a both-and solution, this one at least is absolutely not it.

 

[underacloud]

As I did point out, this is not a religius question, it is a medical one. The Church say it is OK to use contraceptive pills if the primary goal is to treat a illness. I do not know what she may suffer from, but I have a few good guesses. Main thing though is that because they can marry, but maybe not have children, seem to be so important for you to figure out and ponder left and right that you forget that the OP is a real human, flesh and blood, with a girl he want to marry. Please let him have his dignity intact. Yes, you have give a lot of good advices, and some even try to really help, I give you that. But the fact remain, this is a medical problem that can not be solved without medication. They have to live with that, every day, you will not remember them a year from now. Sorry if I am harsh, but sometimes someone need to say what nobody want to hear.

This is a religious forum and the OP came here asking about the moral/religious implications of his GF’s medical condition and treatments. Those issues have been addressed. I have no idea what your rant is about or who it is directed at (seemingly everyone).

A year from now I will not remember this thread or the OP specifically. But a year from now he will still know about the Church’s position on these issues due to the good advice offered in this thread. And given the OP’s original impression, I would expect the advice given would be a great comfort to him.