Girls "tempting" boys

[BamaRider]

What Bama, like this you mean?

That’s what I’m tawkin about npatrol:

 

[gardenswithkids]

That’s what I’m tawkin about npatrol:

:ehh:
Bama, *you *need to take responsibility for what you look at. :jrbirdmanut Sharon on your ignore list if her font and color choices excite you too much. Debbie wouldn’t approve of your oogling at another woman’s font.:tsktsk:

And watch all that sweet “tawkin’” of yours–you know what your southern drawl does to the ladies here. :coolinoff:

 

[BamaRider]

:ehh:
Bama, *you *need to take responsibility for what you look at. :jrbirdmanut Sharon on your ignore list if her font and color choices excite you too much. Debbie wouldn’t approve of your oogling at another woman’s font.:tsktsk:

And watch all that sweet “tawkin’” of yours–you know what your southern drawl does to the ladies here. :coolinoff:

 

[Nechasin]

I would honestly be worried if I heard any mention of guns or knives with relation to me from a chosen lady’s father and it would have little to do with fear. I think I would be offended too and it would be hard to undo that. It would possibly strain the relationship with the lady in question and I would rather leave than cause a strife between her and her father over my hurt sensibilities. On the other hand, when I was in my late teens or early twenties, I crossed a couple of lines, and I understand where you come from since I’d be protective if I had a daughter in today’s world.

Oh I wouldn’t explicitly threaten the boy and I wouldn’t mention anything about the guns or knives, I would just be in the process of cleaning or sharpening them. I’ll let them draw their own conclusions .

 

[BamaRider]

If I hada little girl I’d be doin like Nech. When boys started hangin around I’d be goin :nunchuk:

 

[chevalier]

Just because I haven’t been around in a couple of days and am feeling the need to totally hijack a thread…

I must say that I have to disagree with this statement from chevalier. As a young military wife, left alone without my husband for months at a time, I succumbed to this particular vice sometimes when I was really lonely and really desiring my husband. My thoughts revolved around him. Surely, no one is going to try to tell me that sexual thoughts about one’s own spouse are impure!

Masturbation does not always have the grossly immoral motivations so many seem to assume. Just food for thought.

I will have to disagree there, but I wouldn’t like to go into details because I don’t want to judge private situations. And remember we aren’t talking about married people thinking about their spouses, even if I were to agree.

 

[chevalier]

Oh I wouldn’t explicitly threaten the boy and I wouldn’t mention anything about the guns or knives, I would just be in the process of cleaning or sharpening them. I’ll let them draw their own conclusions .

Well, in that case, I would be just a little weided out. If you put it this way, I’ve been seen opening a beer with a sword. Maybe I should reintroduce the custom some time in the future.

 

[TLDenmark]

Dear thomfra

As a Christian, we are to be held accountable for both our own behaviour and the influence we purposely exercise on other people. If a woman/girl deliberately dresses herself to arouse and tempt the men around her, she has showed an enormous lack of charity towards those men. Only a liar (or a fool) would claim to love her neighbour, while simultaneously (and intentionally) increase his burdens in the already difficult struggle to remain pure. By intentionally engaging in such behaviour, she has basically made the statement that she doesn’t care about his future salvation. Let me give a memorable movie and Bible quote:

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Or perhaps Christ will do:

“18:6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! 18:7 It is necessary that stumbling blocks come, but woe to the person through whom they come.”

Then again, temptation doesn’t justify sinful behaviour. I as a man must take responsibility for my own actions. So even if people were to tempt me, it would be my responsibility to avoid the person in question, guard my eyes or stay disciplined. Right after the verse I quoted from Matthew, Christ also states the following:

"18:8 If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 18:9 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into fiery hell."

Mind you, all of this would also apply to the reverse situation of men tempting woman.

God bless you
TL

 

[TLM08]

What’s the deal with men (especially young men) essentially blaming women for their problems staying on the straight and narrow with respect to masturbation/”impure thoughts”.

All too often I read posts by young men who seem to somehow think it’s the woman’s responsibility to “dress in a way which will not tempt me”.

This is an almost impossible task for these poor girls. One poster a while ago even had a problem with women who showed a bit of bra strap (from behind) because it was causing him to become sexually aroused/distracted in church…!!!

Honestly boys, this is not Afghanistan pre-invasion. You are not the Taliban. Women are not to blame for your inability to adhere to the lofty standards you have voluntarily chosen to set yourselves.

(For clarity, I must say that I personally have no problem with masturbation as I believe it is normal and healthy. But that is for another thread – so please do not post on that).

Obviously someone with your views on masturbation would have no problem with women dressing immodestly. If the church ever declares this stuff morally acceptable, I’ll probably never leave the house!


But the fact is, God calls the shots regarding morality… not us!
Does that make any sense to you?

 

[jkarp]

Dear thomfra

As a Christian, we are to be held accountable for both our own behaviour and the influence we purposely exercise on other people. If a woman/girl deliberately dresses herself to arouse and tempt the men around her, she has showed an enormous lack of charity towards those men. Only a liar (or a fool) would claim to love her neighbour, while simultaneously (and intentionally) increase his burdens in the already difficult struggle to remain pure. By intentionally engaging in such behaviour, she has basically made the statement that she doesn’t care about his future salvation. Let me give a memorable movie and Bible quote:

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Or perhaps Christ will do:

“18:6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! 18:7 It is necessary that stumbling blocks come, but woe to the person through whom they come.”

Then again, temptation doesn’t justify sinful behaviour. I as a man must take responsibility for my own actions. So even if people were to tempt me, it would be my responsibility to avoid the person in question, guard my eyes or stay disciplined. Right after the verse I quoted from Matthew, Christ also states the following:

"18:8 If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 18:9 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into fiery hell."

Mind you, all of this would also apply to the reverse situation of men tempting woman.

God bless you
TL

Very well said.

 

[Wyatt]

Girls can dress anyway they want, but it would help me out if they would dress more modestly.

 

[childofmary1143]

Everyone is capable of tempting others and reasonable care must be taken to prevent this. However, everyone has their own definition of what reasonable is.

I resent the implication that people who value modest attire are labeled as Taliban.

Also it must be said that men are far more visual than women so it is entirely natural for women to be completely unaware of how immodesty can affect men.

 

[chevalier]

Also it must be said that men are far more visual than women so it is entirely natural for women to be completely unaware of how immodesty can affect men.

To some extent, but it still doesn’t remove that fact that intending to be sexy is not exactly unawareness, nor is it the beholder’s responsibility alone. Exposure puritans complain about is a case of unawareness. Sexying it up is not really. If it intends to elicit a certain effect, it cannot claim to ignore it.

 

[whatevergirl]

:ehh:
Bama, *you *need to take responsibility for what you look at. :jrbirdmanut Sharon on your ignore list if her font and color choices excite you too much. Debbie wouldn’t approve of your oogling at another woman’s font.:tsktsk:

And watch all that sweet “tawkin’” of yours–you know what your southern drawl does to the ladies here. :coolinoff:

LOL!

 

[whatevergirl]

Well here’s one thing y’all forget. FONTS. The fancy, colorful type some ladies use on CAF (like what Sharon uses) is entirely inappropiate on a Catholic Forum. It drives us men crazy, and makes it hard concentrate, and bombs us with bad thoughts.

I dunno what to do on here. Sheesh.

Would*** blue*** be a more suitable color for you, Mr Bama?

 

[BamaRider]

I dunno Sharein, (how ya say Sharon in Ala) blue is a little more modest then your previous font. It looks like I won’t hafta to put ya on ignore afterall.

Basil said-

I must say that I have to disagree with this statement from chevalier. As a young military wife, left alone without my husband for months at a time, I succumbed to this particular vice sometimes when I was really lonely and really desiring my husband. My thoughts revolved around him. Surely, no one is going to try to tell me that sexual thoughts about one’s own spouse are impure!

Dadgum.

 

[thomfra]

As far as the OP’s original question is concerned, I’m convinced that young men (myself included when I was younger) would be aroused by any sign that a girl/women gave. It is a sign of maturity that a man can control his emotions and arousal to the proper occurances and alot of that in my case can be attributed to having daughters.

For the most part, girls are not at fault. I know when I was in high school and early college, the girls could be wearing a burqa and I would wonder what they were wearing underneath it. That is not the girls fault. It is true that some young women and girls do tempt boys and men, but I don’t think that is the norm. We are still responsible for our own actions and thoughts.

As men of God it is our responsiblity to view women as the beautiful creations fo God that they are and respect them as such.It is not wrong to admire the beauty of God’s creation, but it is wrong to lust after that beauty. And it is a fine line between those activities and it that takes experience and maturity to distingush between admiring beauty and lusting after beauty.

I don’t think it is a bad idea that women help us, but it is the responsiblity of men and boys to recognize the difference.

Unfortunately, the temptations are great and the thoughts that are placed in our heads in our youth are hard to combat. Even when men know the difference.

I worked offshore for a while and we had some women engineers on the platform as well. The women engineers were impressed with the behavior of the roughnecks and didn’t think they caused any problems. But there was a night and day difference in the attitude of the men when they were present versus when they weren’t present. There wasn’t any fault of the women other than there presents on the platform.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that men will lust after women regardless of what the woman is wearing and regardless of the circumstances. Many times women don’t even know it. I don’t think there is anythng women can really do to prevent this other than staying out of site which isn’t realistic.

Mature men in mind, body, and spirituality are more capable of resisiting our nature, but we still struggle.

I will also aggree with some of the other posters that attitude is very important. If a women’s attitude is conservative, I’m less likely to think negative thoughts regardless of what she is wearing. If it is immodest it won’t matter what she is wearing, I will struggle with impure thoughts.

Sensational post. This is what I was getting at. It really is irrelevant what the girl wears. I’ve also worked a bit offshore. Women can walk around in a survival suit, hard hat, and safety classes, and men will still lust after them.

 

[thomfra]

Just because I haven’t been around in a couple of days and am feeling the need to totally hijack a thread…

I must say that I have to disagree with this statement from chevalier. As a young military wife, left alone without my husband for months at a time, I succumbed to this particular vice sometimes when I was really lonely and really desiring my husband. My thoughts revolved around him. Surely, no one is going to try to tell me that sexual thoughts about one’s own spouse are impure!

Masturbation does not always have the grossly immoral motivations so many seem to assume. Just food for thought.

interesting post… food for thought indeed…

 

[thomfra]

Obviously someone with your views on masturbation would have no problem with women dressing immodestly. If the church ever declares this stuff morally acceptable, I’ll probably never leave the house!


But the fact is, God calls the shots regarding morality… not us!
Does that make any sense to you?

TLM08: I think you might have missed the point of the orginal post…

It’s not about what i think, or what my morals are.
Nor is it about what you or I believe to be suitable attire for a women.

IMHO It cooks down to how one percieves women.

 

[TLM08]

TLM08: I think you might have missed the point of the orginal post…

It’s not about what i think, or what my morals are.
Nor is it about what you or I believe to be suitable attire for a women.

IMHO It cooks down to how one percieves women.

I most certainly did not miss the point of the OP. Young people often come here looking for answers and since you see no problem with the masturbatory lifestyle, I am simply calling your stance out as being against church teaching.

Women get perceived according to how they dress and act. If a girl dresses seductively, she immediately sparks sexual thoughts in the male brain (if you are a normal male!)

I am sick of this liberal garbage notion that young attractive women can parade around half naked and it’s the strictly the man’s problem if he begins having unwanted sexual thoughts.