because you made a solemn profession of faith, asked for and received Confirmation, just weeks ago, and to abandon this faith is apostasy, a terrible sin. Please stay in touch with your priest and RCIA team, as many here have often urged you to do, especially during the first months after your initiation, because doubts and questions will still be coming up. In almost all your posts you exhibit some very emotional reactions to things you hear and experience, which suggests you need some help discerning these things, and also that you tend to judge what is going on in your spiritual life (and perhaps in your relationships) on a purely emotional basis, which is unreliable and dangerous.
do not make grandiose promises about daily devotions. as another poster said, do one thing and do it faithfully.
fulfill your Sunday obligation
receive the sacraments frequently
choose one prayer practice and do it faithfully and do not change or add to it for several months, until the habit is firmly engrained
this, plus the graces from the sacraments, will gradually lead you to do more
don’t do any devotions out of obligation, only out of love, and by that I do not mean affection, emotion, sentiment or search for excitement, assurance and affirmation. I mean the kind of love that stands beneath a dying man on a cross when he is apparently powerless.
cease using religion as a source of emotional satisfaction, and use it for what it is, an ongoing growing relationship with Jesus Christ and his Church, gathered to give all to the Father, in the protection of the Holy Spirit.
!!!
It really is like exploring the many facets of a big beautiful gem, isn’t it? 
