This is a really long thread. I was only able to skim some of it.
I guess I’ve been wrestling with my faith, in crisis right now.
I once walked away from the Catholic Church, because I went to confession, here in Mexico, and a fairly common penance is walking on one’s knees across the entire length of the church.
If one doesn’t do the penance, one is said to be not forgiven. So, I did this…on these stone tiles…it was REALLY painful, and by the time I got done, I was actually bleeding.
I left the Church for about a solid 10 years after that.
I had a friend of mine who said 1 church was nothing, that once, he was told to knee walk across SEVEN churches. Now, admittedly, he was no saint, but still.
I once had a priest refuse to allow me to confess, because I was living with my “husband”. However, for the last 3 years of our “marriage”, we were living as brother and sister.
He had threatened me, and at one point I had moved out into our unfinished mother-in-law suite that had no water, a/c, bathroom, etc., etc.
I had another time, one priest who was talking to someone, saying “LEAVE …pretender”…“Go right now!”
I once had where I was in a rosary group. I took over another person’s group, was leading, and the sacristan didn’t want that group.
For months, she made our lives quite miserable, would go to the members, tell us we couldn’t pray in the church, itself, had to go to the crying room.
Once, I spoke to the pastor, got permission, and on Thanksgiving Day, the sacristan told me she would not give us permission to do the rosary, and she essentially threw me out of the church.
I’ve had people of other faiths look at all these incidents, tell me that this kind of thing has happened again and again, that if it keeps happening to consider another denomination.
I go to the churches here, and they are extremely…for lack of a better word, “cold”.
We go, say our prayers, and leave. There is a lack of fellowship.
On the forum, there a tremendous viciousness. Now, admittedly, other faiths probably have that, too, but people can go down their rule book, deliver the news, but without the slightest compassion, empathy, even with unbridled sarcasm, venom. viciousness, and yet all the while think this attitude is helpful.
When I have had problems, I haven’t felt I could go to the pastor. My sister told me to go to the pastor, ask if some parishioners could help me. She told me that’s what the Church is for, but no. I’d not feel, in a Catholic Church, I could do that.
In a protestant one, I might, though.
I think I want to remain Catholic, despite all the above, but it’s just a weakness of our Church, or several.
On the forum, I can think, “With ‘friends’ like these, who needs enemies?”