Given up on happiness

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renatas said:
really what is the sense anymore. My husband told me again he HATES me. I thank everyone for their messages, but I am almost positive I cant handle this married life with him any longer.
I HAVE TO do the unthinkable and file for separation. I think that would make him happy. He thinks I am being selfish for wanting this to work out, but how, we have a son who doesnt have to experience a liar and cheater of a father. Why wont God soften his heart??
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we all have free will God cannot MAKE steve soften his heart or be faithful to you,only steve can choose his course of life.Time apart would probably be good but you don’t need to rush into filing for separation and make things legal just yet.Things could improve if you had time apart you never know.Im sorry for your suffering.God bless

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.
 
Hello Renata,

I was following this thread for over a year, and I’ve only now found this one. If it’s any consolation, I’ve kept you and Steve in mind in my prayers and I was wondering how you were doing. Will I post a link to this thread in the other one?

I’m very sorry that things have remained difficult. I’ll remember you in prayer.
Candle for you, Steve and family.

May God bless you and yours always. :gopray:

With love,
Siobhán.
 
Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
I’m sorry to hear things are not going well. But, I will keep praying. I think it’s time to put this in God’s Hands, if you haven’t already. I feel your pain - believe me.

Love,
Judi 😦
 
Thank you everyone but I am giving up and will be closing this and my other thread as of tomorrow.
I have really appreciated all the prayers, if you want to private message me, thats fine.

I am no longer going to indulge in trying to save my marriage. Obvious there is no hope.
 
Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive
those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and
at the hour of our death.
Amen

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end.
Amen
 
Continued prayers for a true lady who, through her own prayerful pleas, has bravely & openly shared what countless others can not!

huge hug
 
Lord please guide and protect Renata and her son as she makes her difficult choices.
Please help her to find healing despite her husband’s coldness.
Please guard her from further injury and loss due to her husband’s refusal to respond to Your graces.
 
Trishie said:
Lord please guide and protect Renata and her son as she makes her difficult choices.
Please help her to find healing despite her husband’s coldness.
Please guard her from further injury and loss due to her husband’s refusal to respond to Your graces.
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Amen!
 
Our Father, which art in Heaven
Hollowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven

Give us this day, our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil

Amen
 
Renata, you and your son will continue to be in my prayers. I will also continue to pray for Steve. I cannot image what you are going through, but please know that you are a dear friend to me. May God bless you and your son!

Hugs & Love,
Cassie
 
renatas said:
whats the sense anymore. I cant seem to have a happy life, no matter how much i pray. My marriage is ****, full of mistrust and i cant seem to get over my mothers death. She only died in July and i know it takes time.

i am angry with my older sister for being so selfish during my mom’s short illness, i am jealous over my stepson’s girlfriend. they just had a baby, shes only 19 and everyone is in such awe over her. i dont recall ever getting such a warm welcome from my husbands family and his mother still slips out his ex-wifes first name…whats the use anymore
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Hi Renatas

It seems like there are a lot of issues here: grief, envy, bitterness, infidelity. There’s a lot of emotion here and rational decisions are hard to make in such a state. Someone wise and impartial could probably help you ( a good priest or relationship professional?)

Have you asked your husband why his feelings for you have changed?

Have you looked at your own feelings towards your husband his family and your sister, and your mother and the effect that this might be having on your marriage? (Your own words were that you are jealous of your step daughter, angry with your sister, resentful towards you step mother and your husband as well as greiving the loss of your mother)

You prayed for what you wanted to happen, and because it never happenned, you decided to separate. (remember we cant control God).

We only hear one side of the story on this forum (your husband doesnt get a say). So you get all the support for your position, and he’s made out to be the bad guy and you the victim. (this may or may not be the full truth, we often view ourselves as the completely innocent victim, and this is rarely the case) So i guess what I’m saying is that a professional counsellor who hears both sides of the story would be a good way to go.

God bless,
 
well, The Rock88, I have given my full account of what is going on. There are several things I am thinking about:

he was not faithful to his first wife, not with me, but with her sister, another co-worker of his and a friend of his wife’s. He promised he learned from this and would never do this to me. He apparently went to confession.

I have never told him I was jealous of his son’s girlfriend…actually I am not anymore, she is only 19 and has a baby, they are not married, etc.I try to be as supportive as I can with the little grandbaby.

His mother, well thats another story. I never told him I was angry with my sister because he hates everyone in my family, yet we host Christmas and his family eats and sleeps at my home but no one from my family is allowed to come over or he will leave. He hated my mother because she was of European decent…

Shall I have him post his side. Should I repeat all the nasty names he calls me.

I sort of wonder if you are judging me because I have laid my cards on the table. He is a bully. All I was asking for was a little support from the catholic community. Counselling is useless, so he says.

anything else you would like to add?
 
renatas said:
really what is the sense anymore. My husband told me again he HATES me. I thank everyone for their messages, but I am almost positive I cant handle this married life with him any longer.
I HAVE TO do the unthinkable and file for separation. I think that would make him happy. He thinks I am being selfish for wanting this to work out, but how, we have a son who doesnt have to experience a liar and cheater of a father. Why wont God soften his heart??
Click to expand...
Renata,

We trust that God will never give us a burden that we cannot handle. Please know that you are loved and prayed for daily.

Bryan
 
For you dear one

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come;
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.
 
Dear renata you are an incredibly brave wonderful person and wife.Steve has been exceptionally lucky to have you.It is his loss that he runs the risk of losing you.You
have remained faithful to him despite all the torments.As you know you are a dear friend to me and will remain so.You are always in my thoughts and prayers.I will PM you later anyway.

With God ALL things are possible.

A Novena Prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
Sacred Heart of Jesus, we know that there is but one thing impossible to You: to be without pity for those who are in suffering or distress. Look down on us, we beg of You and grant us the grace which we humbly and earnestly implore, through the Immaculate Heart of Your most sorrowful Mother to whom You confided us as her children, and whose prayers are all powerful with You. Amen.
 
Continued prayers

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive
those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and
at the hour of our death.
Amen

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end.
Amen
 
renatas said:
well, The Rock88, I have given my full account of what is going on. There are several things I am thinking about:

he was not faithful to his first wife, not with me, but with her sister, another co-worker of his and a friend of his wife’s. He promised he learned from this and would never do this to me. He apparently went to confession.

I have never told him I was jealous of his son’s girlfriend…actually I am not anymore, she is only 19 and has a baby, they are not married, etc.I try to be as supportive as I can with the little grandbaby.

His mother, well thats another story. I never told him I was angry with my sister because he hates everyone in my family, yet we host Christmas and his family eats and sleeps at my home but no one from my family is allowed to come over or he will leave. He hated my mother because she was of European decent…

Shall I have him post his side. Should I repeat all the nasty names he calls me.

I sort of wonder if you are judging me because I have laid my cards on the table. He is a bully. All I was asking for was a little support from the catholic community. Counselling is useless, so he says.

anything else you would like to add?
Click to expand...
A couple of things

Did he cheat on you?

Why does say he say hates you? In what situations? people dont usually tell someone they hate them out of the blue.

Are you doing anything to aggravate him when he tells you he hates you?

Does he want a separation?

As for counselling, I think its a good idea, even if you were to go alone. Separating for good is a big step and could be the best thing, however you’d want to be sure about it. Someone who’s impartial will help you to see things clearer.
 
still praying for you Renata

Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it as it is in heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive
those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and
at the hour of our death.
Amen

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be world without end.
Amen
 
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