Giving up...going to hell?

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scrappymom

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I am one of probably millions who are so weary with all of the suffering in the world. I am a cradle catholic, who used to have such a strong faith that God was in control. As a married 50 year old mother of three children, (two are in college, one is still years away from that), I never really questioned this.
Now, I find I am either weary, disgusted, angry, or just plain frustrated with God. There are various things going on in my life that I will not go into, but they are all contributing factors to my frustration and separation from God. I continue attending mass for my child’s sake, otherwise I would consider it a huge waste of time. I think our journey here is ridiculously pointless. Yes God is in control, and as you can see by our fallen world, he is doing one hell of a bang up job. There are only two reasons why I am still here: my children and my fear of hell. Yes, I am receiving counseling, and am being treated for depression.
I know all about the teaching of the church and that God will not interfere with our “free will”. How very swell of him. Hopefully I will get the chance to thank him. But from the attitude I am portraying, it is unlikely.
I hope someone can send me a lifeline. I try to pray, but of course, I find that pointless, as well, because I know God will give us what we need, whether we want it or not. And yes, I pray that my attitude about prayer will change.
Bet no one even wants to touch this one…
 
I don’t have any answers or advice but I will pray for you. Hang in there and I hope someone has advice out there!
 
i can relate somewhat.

I really don’t know the answers. But hang in there.
 
don’t give up…I’ll pray for you. Hang in there! It’ll get better.
 
Thank you elizabethanne3 and ChrisCrop for responding. Of course I realize I am not going to get a flood of responses, but I noticed that the other threads were at least being read, while mine was just ignored. Thank you elizabethanne3 for your offer of prayers. I don’t know their worth, but obviously millions know something I don’t.

And ChrisCrop, yes real life is better than the internet. But in my case, real life has let me down, and is not a good place for support right now. There is some, but there will never be enough, I’m afraid. I knew this forum had some intelligent answers, and so I gravitated to it. There was even a time when I was a devoted listener to Catholic Answers radio, and catholic radio, in general. I don’t even *know *that person anymore.
 
My dear friend, Jesus’ peace be with you. I would like to share with you an excerpt from St. Faustina’s Diary that I almost immediately thought of when I read your post(s).

“O my Jesus, despite the deep night that is all around me and the dark clouds which hide the horizon, I know that the sun never goes out. O Lord, though I cannot comprehend You and do not understand Your ways, I nonetheless trust in Your Mercy. If it is Your will, Lord, that I live always in such darkness, may You be blessed. I ask You only one thing, Jesus: do not allow me to offend You in any way. O my Jesus, You alone know the longings and sufferings of my heart. I am glad I can suffer for You, however little. When I feel that the suffering is more than I can bear, I take refuge in the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, and I speak to Him with profound silence.”

+(Notebook 1, 73)+

Such words from the soul who introduced the world to the image of our Lord pouring out His Fire and Love; His Mercy – the phrase, “Jesus, I trust in YOU!” Stay close to His fire of Love. He knows your weariness, lukewarmness, insecurities - all these things. But, as St. Faustina also wrote, “these are splinters that keep alive the fire of my love for you, O Jesus.”

I encourage you to run to Mother Mary and the Sacraments whenever you can. They will keep you on the path to Jesus. And His Love in enough. Whatever trials He is allowing you to endure right now, nothing can take away His deep desire to be closer to You. His graces abound for those who persevere in their trials. Don’t give up.

I will say both the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for you and the Rosary.
God Bless.
 
Hey Scrappymom,

I’m really sorry you’re going through this crisis. It happens to many people because, as you’ve said, life is tough and unfair and many people suffer in all sorts of ways. I can completely relate to being frustrated with God. His ways are definitely difficult to understand sometimes. I guess we just can’t.
But don’t lose hope. He is with you in your suffering although you can’t see it now. Maybe if you manage to pray every day your feelings will change. You could dedicate 5-10 minutes every day to a Divine Mercy chaplet or something similar. That prayer doesn’t take much time but is very powerful.
Is there someone you could ask to pray for you while you’re going through this?
I hope the forum helps too.

God bless.
 
Life can feel very frustrating and pointless at times. One thing I’ve tried that helps me is to focus and get serious in my conversation with God. I will try to pin down exactly what I am upset about, and then see what exactly has caused that. Usually I’d realize that it’s true, God is not at fault. Then I’d pin down exactly what I want from God, not just a simple wish for consolations, but concrete requests for things to happen. Usually I’d realize that even though I was pretty upset, there is not much I wish God would do for me that He has not done. For example, I’d usually come to realize that I just want God to assure me that it’s going to be ok; and He really does that despite my complaints that He doesn’t. I’ve got food, I’ve got shelter, I’ve got family, I’ve got the Church, I’ve got the necessities. I don’t need any more comfort from God.

So yeah, here is my assurance for you that it’s going to be ok. God has not abandoned you and will never do that. Calm down and pray for peace of mind and heart.

Here is a prayer for you: Hail Mary full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed are thou among women, blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus, Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

Sometimes when I see posts such as yours, I refrain from replying because I feel other people will be more competent to help than I. I don’t want to appear so confident that I am in a position to help others. Perhaps that’s why your post has not received as many replies as it might.
 
Also think about dedicating an hour in Adoration. Say the Sorrowful Mysteries in meditation of what Jesus suffered for us.

May God Bless you and your family. :signofcross:
 
scrappymom said:
I am one of probably millions who are so weary with all of the suffering in the world. I am a cradle catholic, who used to have such a strong faith that God was in control. As a married 50 year old mother of three children, (two are in college, one is still years away from that), I never really questioned this.
Now, I find I am either weary, disgusted, angry, or just plain frustrated with God. There are various things going on in my life that I will not go into, but they are all contributing factors to my frustration and separation from God. I continue attending mass for my child’s sake, otherwise I would consider it a huge waste of time. I think our journey here is ridiculously pointless. Yes God is in control, and as you can see by our fallen world, he is doing one hell of a bang up job. There are only two reasons why I am still here: my children and my fear of hell. Yes, I am receiving counseling, and am being treated for depression.
I know all about the teaching of the church and that God will not interfere with our “free will”. How very swell of him. Hopefully I will get the chance to thank him. But from the attitude I am portraying, it is unlikely.
I hope someone can send me a lifeline. I try to pray, but of course, I find that pointless, as well, because I know God will give us what we need, whether we want it or not. And yes, I pray that my attitude about prayer will change.
Bet no one even wants to touch this one…
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I can feel your pain through your words, and I am sorry. As you can see, I too have lost faith, different reasons perhaps, but I feel as you do.

I wish I had more to offer you, but I don’t. I do hope you are feeling better soon.
 
I wish I could add something more meaningful, but just remember that Christ shares in your sufferings. There is a reason why His sacred heart is always depicted encircled by a crown of thorns. Hope things get better, and I will keep you in my prayers.
 
you should pray the rosary when it comes on EWTN at 3:30 today
 
scrappymom said:
I am one of probably millions who are so weary with all of the suffering in the world. I am a cradle catholic, who used to have such a strong faith that God was in control. As a married 50 year old mother of three children, (two are in college, one is still years away from that), I never really questioned this.
Now, I find I am either weary, disgusted, angry, or just plain frustrated with God. There are various things going on in my life that I will not go into, but they are all contributing factors to my frustration and separation from God. I continue attending mass for my child’s sake, otherwise I would consider it a huge waste of time. I think our journey here is ridiculously pointless. Yes God is in control, and as you can see by our fallen world, he is doing one hell of a bang up job. There are only two reasons why I am still here: my children and my fear of hell. Yes, I am receiving counseling, and am being treated for depression.
I know all about the teaching of the church and that God will not interfere with our “free will”. How very swell of him. Hopefully I will get the chance to thank him. But from the attitude I am portraying, it is unlikely.
I hope someone can send me a lifeline. I try to pray, but of course, I find that pointless, as well, because I know God will give us what we need, whether we want it or not. And yes, I pray that my attitude about prayer will change.
Bet no one even wants to touch this one…
Click to expand...
It’s really hard when one is in the pits of depression to know whether one’s spiritual plight is really just the depression talking or our faith being tested. The glimmer of hope that I saw in your post in that you’re getting counseling for your depression shows that you care too much about your family to let it get the best of you. And that’s a good start.

I can tell you personally that I have suffered from major depression since age 12 (am now 38) and it is an extremely hard battle. It’s especially hard for me when I am in the pit of depression hell and am going through at the same time spiritual trials.

But experience has taught me that when I am in the “mix” of this that it is not the best time to make important decisions personally and spiritually.

Yes, the world can be an awfully dark place at times and I don’t blame you for being mad at God sometimes BUT (yes, I hate the big butts too) we have the choice of using that freedom for either good or bad. So feeling a righteous anger at what alot of the world chooses to do with their “choices” is natural.

The best bit of advice I can give to you is to **“take it easy on yourself and on God”. **

PM me if you need to vent.

God bless
 
You are in the desert…even Christ himself went to the desert for a time.

Stick with it, and eventually everything will fall into place.
 
scrappymom said:
I am one of probably millions who are so weary with all of the suffering in the world. I am a cradle catholic, who used to have such a strong faith that God was in control. As a married 50 year old mother of three children, (two are in college, one is still years away from that), I never really questioned this.
Now, I find I am either weary, disgusted, angry, or just plain frustrated with God. There are various things going on in my life that I will not go into, but they are all contributing factors to my frustration and separation from God. I continue attending mass for my child’s sake, otherwise I would consider it a huge waste of time. I think our journey here is ridiculously pointless. Yes God is in control, and as you can see by our fallen world, he is doing one hell of a bang up job. There are only two reasons why I am still here: my children and my fear of hell. Yes, I am receiving counseling, and am being treated for depression.
I know all about the teaching of the church and that God will not interfere with our “free will”. How very swell of him. Hopefully I will get the chance to thank him. But from the attitude I am portraying, it is unlikely.
I hope someone can send me a lifeline. I try to pray, but of course, I find that pointless, as well, because I know God will give us what we need, whether we want it or not. And yes, I pray that my attitude about prayer will change.
Bet no one even wants to touch this one…
Click to expand...
Instead of throwing your frustration at God it is better to direct to the true source of why our world is crumbling. The real problem is not God but it is the Church. The problem is not out there but it is inside each and everyone of us. I know the feelings you are experiencing. Why isn’t the world getting better and why is God allowing all of this? The question Catholics usually ask even though it may be incorrect is why does God allow so much suffering, so much evil. Why is He not doing something about it. I am a Greek Orthodox christian who has studied and lived the Catholic Faith for over 30+ years. My experiences in both Churches has taught me so much I will like to share with you some of them. I am convinced that even though God is all-powerful, all-knowing and so on He decided to put limitations to His outpouring of His Grace and Mercy. That is God is dependent on the Church and for those in it. He will not act on His own but only accordingly to the requests and intentions of His Church. God needs us for Him to act. Without our participation God will not do anything. Although He has the power to do so God has given this responsibility to the Church. As long as the Church prays so to will God act on those prayers. When Faith is dwindling down God may motivate us to prayers through apparitions of Himself, or the Holy Mother, or by the sending of Saints. God is concern because He has willed for Himself to only act through the prayers of His Faithful ones that is the Church. This is good because the responsibilty really lies on our shoulders and not His. He has given us the opportunity to participate so that as long as we will do our part God will do His. Many Catholics do not understand this. When I said the problem is the Church I really meant it. Why. Because the majority within the Church do not pray. Where there is a lack of prayer then there is a lack of Gods Graces and Mercies. People are not praying. This is the source of all the problems in the world. The Catholic Church has very little attendance in weekly mass in the West. That then relates to very little praying which corresponds to the very little movement of the Grace and Mercy of God. When the Church will pick up its losses and go back to mass and to praying so too will the world improve. The world then is dependent on us Catholics and Orthodox to fullfill our committment to God so that He can pour out His Graces and Mercies upon this troublesome world. That makes us responsible. You cant blame God because He doesnt refuse requests. But you cant blame Him for the little He is getting in requests either. Blame that on us. Each one of us is responsible. When will we see that we are the cause of the problems in the world. God will act but only on our requests. Instead of blaming God we need to put the blame on the Church on those members who do nothing. If God will do those things as you say why isnt He. Because for the reasons I have written. We need to grow up and understand that each one of us has a responsibilty to uphold and God will definitely not let us get away with it. That makes you and each person in the Church an important reason to help God continue this planet. God has given us the responsibilty to pray and make requests and then He will do the rest. But dont expect God to continue pouring out more Grace because the Church is not doing Her job. Sure He may give out more to those who are praying for the scripture says where sin abounds Grace abounds more but come on there is a severe lack of people praying so that it is the few who are upholding up the world.
 
Dear lil_flower_luv, Contra Mundum, poetryforjesus, ElizabethPH, phoenixrrt62, Iron Donkey, TeenageConvert, and last but not least, TempleofTheSoul:

Firstly, forgive me if my response to all of you is not following the correct Forum etiquette.

I just want to thank all of you for taking the time to do what you can to life me up. I am moved by your responses, and although I still feel lost, at least I know others are praying for me, and have offered concrete ideas for me to consider as well as act upon.

I am always aware in my sufferings of the many more who suffer infinitely more than I. This realization only serves to leave me with a sense of shame that I am wallowing in my own self-pity, while knowing others are much worse off than myself. It is a dreadful, viscious cycle.I still find the thought of leaving this world behind such a better alternative than remaining here for God only knows how long…

God bless all of you…that is, of course, if it’s His will that you be blessed in this life. :confused:
 
Although it may not provide much comfort, it’s worth noting that one reason that Jesus suffered and died on the cross was to demonstrate that no one, not even Jesus who was God Himself, can escape suffering in this world. Therefore, there is a role for it to play that’s necessary, and God humiliated Himself by allowing Jesus to be crucified so that could we could see that He was with us, even in suffering. If we had no free will, then we’d simply be slaves. That’s how God created man “in his own image” - we have free will just as God has. It’s a great gift, but a great burden as well.
 
When Satan tried to tempt Christ during the second temptation he took Him to the top of the parapet and told Him He should throw Himself down so that the Angels would save Him. Christ told Satan that it was wrong to test God.

We must show Faith instead of testing the Lord. God bless.

Spend some time in front of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament and meditate on the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary.
*Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written:
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‘He will command angels concerning you’ and ‘with their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”
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Jesus answered him, “Again it is written, ‘You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.’” –Mt 4:5-7*
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        In all of our lives there have been times of pain and suffering. Many of us have prayed to the Lord that our suffering be ended. Some of us have prayed to the Lord that our suffering was ended with no avail. For many this can be a stumbling block in faith as they begin to ask why doesn’t God love me. The answer is that no one can understand the great design of the Father.
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Code: 
        It would have been very easy for me in my own life to say to God that I wanted Him to put to repair this relationship or to cure this person of illness. But those things were not to be. Instead in a one month period my family has stuck together through the death of one family member, putting another in a nursing home, a divorce, and a cancer scare. I will not say that I have not been tempted to try testing God but I know that in my life when it was God’s will and God’s plan things have been exactly how they were supposed to be. I know this because I am here and able to have met the wonderful people I meet everyday and draw support from them and hopefully able to give them a quarter of what they have given me.
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        When we pray with conditions attached and do not leave room for the Father’s will we are testing God. We need to make sure that when we pray we ask for His will, not ours to be done.
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scrappymom said:
I am one of probably millions who are so weary with all of the suffering in the world. I am a cradle catholic, who used to have such a strong faith that God was in control. As a married 50 year old mother of three children, (two are in college, one is still years away from that), I never really questioned this.
Now, I find I am either weary, disgusted, angry, or just plain frustrated with God. There are various things going on in my life that I will not go into, but they are all contributing factors to my frustration and separation from God. I continue attending mass for my child’s sake, otherwise I would consider it a huge waste of time. I think our journey here is ridiculously pointless. Yes God is in control, and as you can see by our fallen world, he is doing one hell of a bang up job. There are only two reasons why I am still here: my children and my fear of hell. Yes, I am receiving counseling, and am being treated for depression.
I know all about the teaching of the church and that God will not interfere with our “free will”. How very swell of him. Hopefully I will get the chance to thank him. But from the attitude I am portraying, it is unlikely.
I hope someone can send me a lifeline. I try to pray, but of course, I find that pointless, as well, because I know God will give us what we need, whether we want it or not. And yes, I pray that my attitude about prayer will change.
Bet no one even wants to touch this one…
Click to expand...
Please don’t give up… 😦
God is not responsible for sin, etc in the world, that is the work of people and of the devil. God died to save our world from sin, - and now He is turning individuals to Himself, - at the end of time, He will renew the whole world. This isn’t happening now because He’s giving us a chance to choose goodness with our free will, because without free will, we are not able to love. This is how He created us. He is there to give us strength and peace so when we encounter suffering or suffer ourselves, - we are not overcome by it. The Sacraments, - especially receiving Communion with proper preparation - give much grace to help us. We also need to pray, and to trust, because the less we trust, the less graces we are able to receive… it’s like we are blocking God, when we distrust Him. If you feel angry at God, remember that He took the worst pain onto Himself. He suffers whenever a soul turns away from Him. And this is happening to millions. It’s not exactly easy for Him either to say the least!

When we say that God is in control, it doesn’t mean that He is responsible for suffering and for sin. Yes He allows suffering but that is so that we can offer it to Him and help other souls, - it has a purpose, we need to approach it correctly. If we suffer out of love for God, it will not be as painful. The Saints are a great example of this. (consider St Therese of Lisieux).

Don’t give up because Jesus loves you and wants to help you, whereas the devil is waiting for you to give up so he can take you away from God and from an eternity of happiness with Him. The devil hates God and is jealous of us and that’s why he’s trying to destroy us. God is on our side always.

God bless :hug1:
 
Dear Scrappy Mom,
First let me tell you that you are not unique in your giving up. So many saints have done so many times. From my experience, it is not God who is letting you down. It is other people who come and go in your life. If you must be upset, be upset with the fraility of the human condition. These are the vecissitudes of life; but things can easily change, trust me. It gets better! God will not let you down, but people always will. God bless you! I will be praying for you. Joy comes in the morning!
 
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