Global Warming: Problem solved

[vern_humphrey]

thelondonfog.blogspot.com/2007/04/sheryl-crow-wants-to-ration-how-many.html

Saturday, April 21, 2007

**Sheryl Crow recommends toilet paper rationing **

Sheryl Crow recommends reducing the number of squares of toilet paper you use to save the forest.

Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don’t want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who’s judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, “how bout just washing the one square out.”

“Here I sit in a cloud of vapor
And some so-and-so took the last sheet of paper
My train is coming, I cannot linger
I guess I’ll just have to use my finger.”

 

[AquinaSavio]

I saw this on Foxnews…

 

[beckers]

Would believe her but she is another who talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk…

check out her requirements for touring

" When it comes to Sheryl Crow’s touring requirements, if it’s Tuesday, this must be Bombay. Gin that is. The rock star’s performance contract includes specific day-to-day instructions on what kind of booze Sheryl needs in her dressing room (TSG has never seen such attention to detail in any other concert rider we’ve posted). For each show, Crow requires 12 bottles of Grolsch beer, 6 bottles of “local” beer, and a bottle each of “good Australian Cabernet” and “good Merlot.” As for the harder stuff, promoters are directed to purchase specific booze depending on what day of the week the concert falls, as the below rider excerpt reveals. Additionally, when the global warming warrior hits the road, her touring entourage (and equipment) travels in three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars. Now that’s a carbon footprint! (4 pages)

thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html

 

[vern_humphrey]

Would believe her but she is another who talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk…

check out her requirements for touring

" When it comes to Sheryl Crow’s touring requirements, if it’s Tuesday, this must be Bombay. Gin that is. The rock star’s performance contract includes specific day-to-day instructions on what kind of booze Sheryl needs in her dressing room (TSG has never seen such attention to detail in any other concert rider we’ve posted). For each show, Crow requires 12 bottles of Grolsch beer, 6 bottles of “local” beer, and a bottle each of “good Australian Cabernet” and “good Merlot.” As for the harder stuff, promoters are directed to purchase specific booze depending on what day of the week the concert falls, as the below rider excerpt reveals. Additionally, when the global warming warrior hits the road, her touring entourage (and equipment) travels in three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars. Now that’s a carbon footprint! (4 pages)

thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html

And she comes out on stage trailing toilet paper from her underwear.

 

[Erich]

Here’s a solution that would be more practical:

americanenergyindependence.com/recycleco2.html

 

[vern_humphrey]

Perhaps Sherryl could tour the world demonstrating the one-sheet technique already in use in Scotland.

You fold the sheet in quarters and tear off the folded corner. Put the torn-off portion aside – this is very important!!

Now unfold the sheet and stick your finger through the hole made in the center by tearing off the corner. Use the finger to clean yourself. Pull the paper up over the finger, cleaning the finger.

Now use the torn-off corner to clean your fingernail.

 

[aimee]

Perhaps Sherryl could tour the world demonstrating the one-sheet technique already in use in Scotland.

You fold the sheet in quarters and tear off the folded corner. Put the torn-off portion aside – this is very important!!

Now unfold the sheet and stick your finger through the hole made in the center by tearing off the corner. Use the finger to clean yourself. Pull the paper up over the finger, cleaning the finger.

Now use the torn-off corner to clean your fingernail.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

It seems to me that young trees are very efficient at removing carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and returning oxygen. As I recall it takes a tree about 20 years to grow to optimum size for making paper. If we would use more paper, and bury it rather than recycle it, we would get rid of the carbon dioxide.

 

[tamccrackine]

guess what… “hippy” families have been practicing this for years… it’s called cloth wipes. Yessiree… 8"x8" squares of soft fabrics (velour, flannel and/or sherpa) and there ya have it!

So she’s kinda behind the power curve.

 

[beckers]

you know its bad when Rosie doesn’t even agree with you…

tmz.com/2007/04/23/rosie-to-sheryl-crow-have-you-seen-my-***

Rosie to Sheryl Crow: “Have You Seen My A**?”

The answer, presumably, is no – but Rosie made her point, pooh-poohing Sheryl Crow for suggesting that we all use just one square of toilet paper per trip to the loo.

Crow made her comments on her blog last week, and Rosie took a moment on this morning’s “The View” to express her incredulity at the supposedly enviro-friendly suggestion. “Have you seen my a**?!” bellowed Rosie, and Barbara Walters was good enough to warn viewers not to use their sleeves, another of Crow’s helpful suggestions.

That’s just about enough scatology and wipe-tech for one morning on that zany kaffeeklatsch.

 

[davy39]

I think we should pass a law that you have to use toilet paper on BOTH sides before throwing it away. We could call it the Crow Law or something. Doing so would cut toilet paper use in half. I’m sure she would be all for that.

 

[vern_humphrey]

you know its bad when Rosie doesn’t even agree with you…

tmz.com/2007/04/23/rosie-to-sheryl-crow-have-you-seen-my-***

Rosie to Sheryl Crow: “Have You Seen My A**?”

The answer, presumably, is no – but Rosie made her point, pooh-poohing Sheryl Crow for suggesting that we all use just one square of toilet paper per trip to the loo.

Crow made her comments on her blog last week, and Rosie took a moment on this morning’s “The View” to express her incredulity at the supposedly enviro-friendly suggestion. “Have you seen my a**?!” bellowed Rosie, and Barbara Walters was good enough to warn viewers not to use their sleeves, another of Crow’s helpful suggestions.

That’s just about enough scatology and wipe-tech for one morning on that zany kaffeeklatsch.

I understand Rosie doesn’t use toilet paper – she uses a back-hoe.

 

[manualman]

And people wonder why Karl Rove would snub her on the topic of environmental stewardship.

 

[Larry1700]

Perhaps Sherryl could tour the world demonstrating the one-sheet technique already in use in Scotland.

You fold the sheet in quarters and tear off the folded corner. Put the torn-off portion aside – this is very important!!

Now unfold the sheet and stick your finger through the hole made in the center by tearing off the corner. Use the finger to clean yourself. Pull the paper up over the finger, cleaning the finger.

Now use the torn-off corner to clean your fingernail.

I, uh, I, uh, well, I hope it’s a joke.

BTW, I have Scottish heritage, and I love traditions, but I do have to draw the line somewhere!

 

[vern_humphrey]

I, uh, I, uh, well, I hope it’s a joke.

BTW, I have Scottish heritage, and I love traditions, but I do have to draw the line somewhere!

Save the corner.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

This is a joke, right? Is the “London Fog” something like “The Onion”?

She certainly can’t be serious!

Now, if you use double-ply toilet paper, does that mean you’re supposed to separate the two plies, and use one now, and one for your next trip?

Maybe we should all just switch to bidets, and then let the global warming bunch complain about the water usage.

Crazy Internet Junkies Society (Mudgie/Junkie Hybrid)
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

 

[WanderAimlessly]

This is a joke, right? Is the “London Fog” something like “The Onion”?

She certainly can’t be serious!

Now, if you use double-ply toilet paper, does that mean you’re supposed to separate the two plies, and use one now, and one for your next trip?

Maybe we should all just switch to bidets, and then let the global warming bunch complain about the water usage.

Crazy Internet Junkies Society (Mudgie/Junkie Hybrid)
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

She is serious. I have seen it on a buch of outlets. She even called Rove rude because he did not cowtow her way of thinking.

 

[Vonier]

Ms. Crow declares today that this was merely a joke. Problem is, Charmin stock dropped precipitously yesterday and there have been massive layoffs. Free speech comes with responsibility people.

 

[catholicbuckeye]

This is a joke, right? Is the “London Fog” something like “The Onion”?

She certainly can’t be serious!

Now, if you use double-ply toilet paper, does that mean you’re supposed to separate the two plies, and use one now, and one for your next trip?

Maybe we should all just switch to bidets, and then let the global warming bunch complain about the water usage.

Crazy Internet Junkies Society (Mudgie/Junkie Hybrid)
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

They won’t complain about water usage from the bidet if you recycle the water!

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

They won’t complain about water usage from the bidet if you recycle the water!

Eeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!

Only if it goes through a water treatment plant first.

I still can’t believe that Sheryl Crow is serious.

And I can’t believe she thinks that any of us should care about her opinions on the environment. She’s what, a singer? When she feels like dispensing advice on singing, then I’ll listen to her.

If you look at her quote, she apparently equates our being “industrious enough” with being able to get by on just one sheet of toilet paper. How does that compute? Do industrious people somehow have less to wipe? Do lazier people have more?

She’ll agree to 2 or 3 sheets for “pesky occasions” – that’s not enough paper even for non-pesky occasions.

Oh, by the way, I just read vern humphrey’s description of the “one-sheet” technique.

Crazy Internet Junkies Society (Mudgie/Junkie Hybrid)
Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag