God vs. Sexual immorality

  • Thread starter Thread starter Walterross
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
FiveLinden said:
As an unbeliever I can understand why a Catholic would wish to remain celibate before marriage. But is it acceptable to actively seek someone who has also always been celibate? Surely there is an element of judging and of non-forgiveness in that desire? Why should it matter for a moment to a celibate Catholic whether a potential partner has also always been celibate? What business is it of anyone else?
Click to expand...
I think you mean chaste, for the meaning of celibate is “One who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows.” However chastity truly involves the thoughts, solitary acts, and acts involving other people or animals. We do not condemn for such, but it is not unreasonable to require that the one you marry has no sexual diseases or related psychological disorder.
 
Last edited:
Struggling with the same issue

I just tell myself I won’t do it and that I guess God knows what’s best

Even if the world changes completely
I still have follow the same rules
God doesn’t ignore that it’s much harder now for us
So he will hopefully help us more and reward us more for it

I try to believe sex is overrated
But I also despise how even in marriage you can barely have it

I do my best trust and be humble

I don’t like to be a complainer or act entitled
I don’t want to be alone or suffer no affection my whole life

But I guess if God wants it then it’s worth it
But if I have to live single
Hopefully it’s not past 50

But yes I struggle with this and I’m 17
I’m overcoming my porn addiction and have no intention of sex before marriage (even if I could get that chance 😂)

I try to believe that heaven is worth it all
And we all should because otherwise we really seemed screwed over by what seems like stupid rules.

I’m trying to change my mindset from rules to directions
I’m hoping for purgatory
 
Walterross said:
40.png
Carmelite1983:
Hang in there, it’s definitely worth the wait.
Click to expand...
I will hang in there, but I do have the fear that I won’t find someone who practices the same as I do.
Click to expand...
Trust in God. If we do his will, everything will work out for our own good and happiness. You have the thought, erroneously, that if you do evil or sin, good is going to come out of it. Now, God can bring good out of evil such as the passion and crucifixion of Jesus but this was not Jesus’ sin. And the CCC says morally speaking that no one can lawfully do evil or sin so that good may come of it. This is an axiom of morals. Doing evil or sinning is what God commands us not to do because it is not for our own good and true happiness. Sinning is a fleeting and false appearance of happiness. If you have the desire for marriage and that is God’s will for you, you will cross paths in God’s good time with your soulmate.
 
Last edited:
If you currently want to avoid getting pregnant
You have to wait for NFP and infertile times
Which varies so much
And you likely have less than 1 week in a month in which you can have it

Which really stinks after waiting years for dating engagement and finally marriage

So he has a point
But I mean we can’t expect life to be perfect or even fair
So you just kinda have to suffer it out :confused:
 
ineedofmercy said:
If you currently want to avoid getting pregnant
You have to wait for NFP and infertile times
Which varies so much
And you likely have less than 1 week in a month in which you can have it

Which really stinks after waiting years for dating engagement and finally marriage

So he has a point
But I mean we can’t expect life to be perfect or even fair
So you just kinda have to suffer it out :confused:
Click to expand...
So the issue is not that you don’t get to have much sex once you get married; it’s that you don’t get to have much sex once you get married if you don’t want to have kids.

That seems like a very different question. In what way is it not “fair” to be limited in how much you do the thing that makes babies by not wanting to have babies?

Reproduction is not a bug in sex. It’s its primary feature. It is not unfair that avoiding reproduction involves avoiding the reproductive act. It’s just sensible.

Likewise, I don’t want to be morbidly obese. It is not unfair that that means I can’t spend all day gorging myself on cookie dough.
 
Last edited:
ineedofmercy said:
And you likely have less than 1 week in a month in which you can have it

Which really stinks after waiting years for dating engagement and finally marriage
Click to expand...
Um, nope.

I don’t think you really have a good handle on this subject.

Also, not to sound like an old party poop, but after the newness of marriage wears off, there is a lot more to a marital relationship than “how often can we have sex” and for many people it falls down the priority list in a way that an unmarried teenager cannot really imagine yet.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
40.png
ineedofmercy:
And you likely have less than 1 week in a month in which you can have it

Which really stinks after waiting years for dating engagement and finally marriage
Click to expand...
Um, nope.

I don’t think you really have a good handle on this subject.

Also, not to sound like an old party poop, but after the newness of marriage wears off, there is a lot more to a marital relationship than “how often can we have sex” and for many people it falls down the priority list in a way that an unmarried teenager cannot really imagine yet.
Click to expand...
The unmarried simply cannot appreciate how much work goes into coordinating laundry. Shoot, sometimes you want to have sex to celebrate a laundry “day” that only took one day.
 
I’m likely just gonna try to go into marriage with a totally clean slate. My expectations and knowledge of how marriage works is probably very skewed.
 
Last edited:
Well I mean during fertile times
It can literally be one time

Sure when pregnant there is nothing stopping the couple
But for obvious reasons one or both will not feel up to it

The couple isn’t against children if they still want to love each other
But it can be less than a year since their first child
Or they could be recently married and want to finally give themselves to each other after literally years of waiting(also their entire lives) but may not be aiming for a child (but will accept one) will still have to wait more

I’m not advocating for contraception
I’m not saying NFP is wrong (it’s right)
I’m just saying the OP has point that is it is tragic especially in our world today
How little we get to embrace this (it doesn’t make us selfish or lustful either it’s very natural and holy to want sex with your spouse)
It’s also natural to be realize “I want to love my wife but can’t support 10 kids in this economy”
We’re stuck with a very poor hand but it’s worth it for heaven
 
I agree

That doesn’t make it less upsetting to young Catholics (who of course didn’t ask to be created or have such a strong desire to control)
God helps us through it even with how hard our current climate makes it
They can barely enjoy that said newness and as you said later on they don’t care as much

I’m not saying anything the church teaches is wrong
I’m just saying one doesn’t have to be lustful or selfish to be disappointed about the problems OP points out

My advice to myself and other young Catholics trapped in the world today

Hope for the better God has in store later
And hope you don’t live to see what worse sexual robots or whatever the future brings
 
ineedofmercy said:
Well I mean during fertile times
It can literally be one time
Click to expand...
Having sex once rarely leads to pregnancy.
ineedofmercy said:
Sure when pregnant there is nothing stopping the couple
But for obvious reasons one or both will not feel up to it
Click to expand...
I’m not yet a father so I cannot say from experience, but I’m led to believe that you are quite mistaken on this point.
ineedofmercy said:
The couple isn’t against children if they still want to love each other
But it can be less than a year since their first child
Or they could be recently married and want to finally give themselves to each other after literally years of waiting(also their entire lives) but may not be aiming for a child (but will accept one) will still have to wait more
Click to expand...
I don’t really understand what you’re saying here.
 
Abstinence in marriage is not required for chastity. However, it helps you build virtue and temper your desires. Fasting from things we enjoy is something that is spiritually fulfilling, and abstinence when prudent is fasting.
 
Yes it’s hard when you feel tempted say the lords prayer / our father this always helps me when im tempted to do something I shouldn’t
 
Yes couples can have sex while pregnant

In my last part I was saying usually couples like to space our children
But also probably want have sex in 1-2 years
So using NFP maybe 2 more or less times a month
I guess that’s ok but for some that will be a real struggle

And of course some women have a very complex fertility timer
So the wait could be much longer do that unity will have to wait
 
I agree completely
And that’s what I plan to do

But OP shouldn’t be shunned at all
His disappointment is very natural and God likely sympathizes with his struggle to stay with Him

Abstinence is part of marriage no matter what in a way
Sometimes you just can’t afford it
 
I don’t think anybody is shunning OP. We all understand what he’s going through.

I always find it quite odd when young people assume that nobody knows what they’re going through. Every single person older than you knows what it is like to be your age. But you don’t know what it’s like to be their age. Believe me, we get it and sympathize.
 
Yeah
Especially with the entertainment industry

I get bored of thinking about it with shoved in my constantly
But the desire and temptation still remain

I believe most men are stuck with this “itch” most of their lives 😂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top