Going Through Hell - Need Support

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Teresa52

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I am in desperate need of prayers and support. My husband of 18 years informed me last Wednesday, completely out of the blue, that he wanted a separation. Two days later he drove 6 1/2 hours down south to visit his new friend. When he got back he informed me that they had had sex. I am devastated.

On top of that, he asked ME to move out of our apartment so I am now staying with my elderly parents and brother. I have NO money - he won’t let me touch the bank account.

This weekend he agreed to drive me to visit my birthmother who is dying of cancer. This was a 7 hour drive which was very difficult for me because I suffer from panic attacks and agoraphobia. The drive was so stressful - it rained the entire time and he stopped every hour or so to smoke a cigarette and text his girlfriend right in front of me. I visited my birthmom, which was emotionally draining, and then we went back to the motel and then he left me there while he went to have a coffee and chat on the phone with the girlfriend. I had a huge panic attack in the motel room, it was awful. On the way home I again had to endure watching him text her. He is being so cold to me.

He’s acting crazy, not himself at all. I don’t know if this is a midlife crisis or something more. He seems so anxious and not the man I’ve known and loved for all these years.

I don’t know what to do. He is flaunting this affair in my face, has left me with no income or home, not even our car. I don’t have any friends or support here in my town, mostly due to my panic attacks and my inability to get out of the house by myself.

Most of my stuff is still at our apartment. I am still in shock and don’t know what to do.

I feel so lost and alone and really need some help and support. I am completely overwhelmed.

Thanks.
 
***Pater noster, qui es in cælis, sanctificetur nomen tuum; adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris; et ne nos inducas in tentationem Sed libera nos a malo. Amen

Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

We fly to your patronage, O holy Mother of God; despise not our petitions in our necessities, but deliver us always from all dangers, O glorious and blessed Virgin. ***
 
Soetimes life might feel as if you are all alone but trusting in God and knowing very well that be it who or whoever that leaves you alone and feels lonely there is one person who can never let go of you and that is God the creator of heaven and earth.

Let go joff him since he is not in his senses at the moment may be devil is driving in him but if you believe that he is your chosen husband he is gonna come back in future and he is going to ask for your forgiveness.

All the best!!!
 
Sometimes life might feel as if you are all alone but trusting in God and knowing very well that be it who or whoever that leaves you alone and feels lonely there is one person who can never let go of you and that is God the creator of heaven and earth.

Let go joff him since he is not in his senses at the moment may be devil is driving in him but if you believe that he is your chosen husband he is gonna come back in future and he is going to ask for your forgiveness.

All the best!!!
 
Our Father who art in heaven;
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation:
but deliver us from evil.
 
Take courage and faith, dear friend. I was gifted in music at age two and headed straight for a billionaire’s life with the power to use money in extraordinary ways. But I was battered at home physically and mentally for many years as a kid. And the schools added abuse on abuse, neglect on neglect and abandonment on abandonment. I was tossed into the street and was in a state of total trauma. My gift was almost dead and buried. But then God shined a light down onto a hotel and brought my gift back to life. I could play piano like the masters just like that! I had no trouble being hired to perform nightly in major hotel restaurants. And then he brought me into his presence in paradise. Jesus came out to me and the Light of the Father rayed from his heart permeating my being. People saw me glowing in white light for months. And then I was crowned by the LORD as a morning star royal and saint. Struggles have been removed and I’m free to represent God’s Kingdom. But my main message is this: You are dearly loved by the LORD and I and all his heavens. I’m so glad you wrote because now the power to relax and trust can flow to you unhindered for that’s exactly what I did under fire is relax and trust. This is going to end up an immense victory for you when you move on. It’s not your fault this has all happened to you. People are being driven to evil and madness because of a sick dragon with one hand on television and the other on people’s souls. He wants to do the worst to us, but the LORD’s Spirit in us blocks it and turns it into great victory, defeating that foul beast time after time. Please write me any time. Your friend, Jeffrey ♔
 
We turn to you for protection, holy Mother of God.
Listen to our prayers and help us in our needs.
Save us from every danger, glorious and blessed Virgin.
Amen!
 
How is it that people become like this ?
We can all come up with good theories ,but it’s happening to you, happening now,
At first glance ,your better off without him,there are no polite words for this stranger in your life… Walk away, find friends to cry with… Because it is sever grief you are experiencing… Then after a short time,refocus, regain your strength,
Wipe your feet and move on,and don’t look back… Better things lie ahead…
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Teresa52 said:
I am in desperate need of prayers and support. My husband of 18 years informed me last Wednesday, completely out of the blue, that he wanted a separation. Two days later he drove 6 1/2 hours down south to visit his new friend. When he got back he informed me that they had had sex. I am devastated.

On top of that, he asked ME to move out of our apartment so I am now staying with my elderly parents and brother. I have NO money - he won’t let me touch the bank account.

This weekend he agreed to drive me to visit my birthmother who is dying of cancer. This was a 7 hour drive which was very difficult for me because I suffer from panic attacks and agoraphobia. The drive was so stressful - it rained the entire time and he stopped every hour or so to smoke a cigarette and text his girlfriend right in front of me. I visited my birthmom, which was emotionally draining, and then we went back to the motel and then he left me there while he went to have a coffee and chat on the phone with the girlfriend. I had a huge panic attack in the motel room, it was awful. On the way home I again had to endure watching him text her. He is being so cold to me.

He’s acting crazy, not himself at all. I don’t know if this is a midlife crisis or something more. He seems so anxious and not the man I’ve known and loved for all these years.

I don’t know what to do. He is flaunting this affair in my face, has left me with no income or home, not even our car. I don’t have any friends or support here in my town, mostly due to my panic attacks and my inability to get out of the house by myself.

Most of my stuff is still at our apartment. I am still in shock and don’t know what to do.

I feel so lost and alone and really need some help and support. I am completely overwhelmed.

Thanks.
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Wow! That’s pretty brutal!

Can you get yourself to counseling? A counselor could probably help you find which direction to move in next, also know available community resources.

In the area I lived in the US, Goodwill Easter Seals would do a free assessment, help people. If they couldn’t help them directly, they would know the area resources give referrals.

Since you’re without a car, you would need to locate along a busline. The year I was disabled, first I couldn’t drive my car. I had 4 surgeries on my hands within 10 months. Also, my car came close to being repossessed, anyway.

My family helped me move to a city that had a really good busline. They also helped me find an apartment and move there.

I don’t know what you qualify for, but could you seek some financial aid if you haven’t already done this? I’ll list some. Take what applies. What doesn’t apply to you can be used by someone else on the forum.

acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/programs/tanf

There’s Section 8 housing. Due to your circumstances, they might give you higher priority.

feedingamerica.org/foodbank-results.aspx

Local churches and Catholic Social Services might also be able to help. If you need medical assistance, you can see if you can qualify for Medicaid.

If you can, stay with family or friends, temporarily. Also, look into your area to see where there are homeless shelters and soup kitchens.

St. Vincent de Paul at your local Catholic Church may be able to help a little.

Can you also talk to your priest about this?

I’ll include you in my prayers. Feel free to post me, anytime.

Do you have access to a credit card? It sounded like you didn’t, though.
 
It can come down to a trick of the mind.
View this situ as one ASSIGNED to you
by GOD, REGARDLESS of whether you
deserved it or not, and determine to be
an overcomer for “the praise and glory of
His name, for our good and the good of
all His holy Church”! Remember: You are
NOT alone, if one member suffers, we suffer
as the Body of Christ, too!(1 Cor 12:26)
 
I can’t even fathom your pain. I have no advice for you except for this: cling to Jesus, and pour your heart to His mother, Mary. She is our peaceful dove who gently carries us as her children to her son, Jesus. Let her hold you and let her hear you.

My prayers are with you!
 
Been there (as the husband of an unfaithful wife).

Praying for you…

ps. play hard-ball on any practical or financial matters. Assume that he has left you, and that this is your only chance to get something from your assets. For a start, he has no right to kick you out of your place.
 
I will give you some advice: MOVE BACK INTO YOUR APARTMENt!!! this is TOTALLY essential or he will claim you left him. Go back, with a friend if necessary, and tell him if he wants to leave, that’s his decision, but you have not decided to leave.

Second, there are all sorts of divorce centers for women who will help you with the legal stuff. If you can’t find one in your phone book, call the Women’s Center at the nearest university and ask them. They may not have the exact help you need, bit adk them for some other organization which may be able to help. You can also try a domestic violence place–they should know about local organizations to help.

If at all possible, withdraw half of the money in your bank account so you will have some money.

Get a notebook and write everything down so you will have a record. Write down what he says. Write down what anyone who helps you says.

You absolutely need to move back into your apartment as soon as you possibly can. Just go back there. Do not leave until you have found people who can advise you…
 
St_Francis said:
I will give you some advice: MOVE BACK INTO YOUR APARTMENt!!! this is TOTALLY essential or he will claim you left him. Go back, with a friend if necessary, and tell him if he wants to leave, that’s his decision, but you have not decided to leave.

…

You absolutely need to move back into your apartment as soon as you possibly can. Just go back there. Do not leave until you have found people who can advise you…
Click to expand...
👍👍
 
Teresa - please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and may Mary, the Mother of God sustain you in your time of trial. Cling to her - she’ll see you through.

Please take the advice above and contact counseling, Catholic Social Services, the food bank and your priest. There IS help available but you’ll have to go for it. You** can **do it.

I struggle with disability myself and one of my prayers when things get overwhelming and too tough is this: Jesus, I’ve done what I could do - the rest is up to You. Please help me. It works. He does. I’ve gotten through tons of tough stuff with this little “baby steps” prayer.

Oh please don’t give up.

Glenda
 
Please seek legal advice from an attorney. There is no need for you to move out of the home you two share, unless he is being physically threatening.

His cruelty is reprehensible---- flaunting his affair and telling YOU to move out is extremely cruel and speaks volumes about here his head is at in all of this.

Please speak to an attorney to protect yourself and your rights.
 
Praying for you to have strength to get you through this difficult time.
 
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