Going to hell

[Lost_Sheep]

God loves both of you, LegoGE and Lost Sheep. Do you know the Footprints in the Sand?

amandashome.com/footprints.html

Forgive me if I sound flippant, but that story does not impress me.

Do you want to share why you think He does not love you?

I could not begin to explain why I feel this way in the short space of an online forum but I’ll try to condense it.

This feeling is not something I’ve come upon lately. I’m 54 years old and have felt this way most of my life. I grew up in a two-parent well-educated middle class Catholic home which most people would consider a health environment. Yet for some reason I never felt close to God or that He was close to me.

I’ve battled with clinical depression my who life. I was never officially diagnosed until about 1994 but hindsight tells me I probably had it since childhood. It is not one single event that caused me to feel this way but rather the culmination of innumerable little things.

I can never seem to catch a break. I have a masters degree education but am very underemployed for my knowledge and experience. I see my peer group and how successful they are with their nice houses and cars. True, material items don’t bring you happiness but somehow I still feel left out.

My wife and I never had children and it is too late to try and try to start a family now. I constantly worry about the future and what it holds. What is going to happen when we are too old to take care of ourselves?

Everyday is a chore just to get out of bed and face the world. The political and social environment of our life today depresses me further.

I can’t believe that all of this is due to fate or bad luck; divine intervention has to be at work here. I don’t believe God has abandoned me per se; rather He is deliberately steering my life towards misfortune and misery.

People tell me I spend too much time dwelling on the “bad” things in my life and don’t remember the “good” things. The problem is, though, there are no good things. Every single time - every time - someone has suggested why I should be happy, I can easily discredit what they say and give them plenty of reasons why I’m not.

Scripture says “Ask and you shall receive” and “With God, all things are possible”. Well? I’ve been asking for a long time. Nothing. I’ve all but given up on prayer because I see it as pointless. I really don’t know why have haven’t left the church completely. What’s He going to do? Send me to Hell? Heck, I’m already there. Besides, if my life on this Earth is any indication of how much God “loves” me then why would I even want to go to heaven and spend eternity with Him and suffer even more misery?

Thanks for letting me vent, but I doubt there is anything anyone can say that is going to make be feel differently.

 

[LegoGE1947]

Forgive me if I sound flippant, but that story does not impress me.

I could not begin to explain why I feel this way in the short space of an online forum but I’ll try to condense it.

This feeling is not something I’ve come upon lately. I’m 54 years old and have felt this way most of my life. I grew up in a two-parent well-educated middle class Catholic home which most people would consider a health environment. Yet for some reason I never felt close to God or that He was close to me.

I’ve battled with clinical depression my who life. I was never officially diagnosed until about 1994 but hindsight tells me I probably had it since childhood. It is not one single event that caused me to feel this way but rather the culmination of innumerable little things.

I can never seem to catch a break. I have a masters degree education but am very underemployed for my knowledge and experience. I see my peer group and how successful they are with their nice houses and cars. True, material items don’t bring you happiness but somehow I still feel left out.

My wife and I never had children and it is too late to try and try to start a family now. I constantly worry about the future and what it holds. What is going to happen when we are too old to take care of ourselves?

Everyday is a chore just to get out of bed and face the world. The political and social environment of our life today depresses me further.

I can’t believe that all of this is due to fate or bad luck; divine intervention has to be at work here. I don’t believe God has abandoned me per se; rather He is deliberately steering my life towards misfortune and misery.

People tell me I spend too much time dwelling on the “bad” things in my life and don’t remember the “good” things. The problem is, though, there are no good things. Every single time - every time - someone has suggested why I should be happy, I can easily discredit what they say and give them plenty of reasons why I’m not.

Scripture says “Ask and you shall receive” and “With God, all things are possible”. Well? I’ve been asking for a long time. Nothing. I’ve all but given up on prayer because I see it as pointless. I really don’t know why have haven’t left the church completely. What’s He going to do? Send me to Hell? Heck, I’m already there. Besides, if my life on this Earth is any indication of how much God “loves” me then why would I even want to go to heaven and spend eternity with Him and suffer even more misery?

Thanks for letting me vent, but I doubt there is anything anyone can say that is going to make be feel differently.

To all: When I was a teen I remember a pop song where a man read “Footprints in the Sand” to background music. I was not raised in a home where there was any religion.

 

[RoseMary131]

Forgive me if I sound flippant, but that story does not impress me.

I’ve battled with clinical depression my who life. .

I can never seem to catch a break.

I constantly worry about the future and what it holds.

Everyday is a chore just to get out of bed and face the world.

I can’t believe that all of this is due to fate or bad luck; divine intervention has to be at work here. I don’t believe God has abandoned me per se; rather He is deliberately steering my life towards misfortune and misery.

Every single time - every time - someone has suggested why I should be happy, I can easily discredit what they say and give them plenty of reasons why I’m not.

Scripture says “Ask and you shall receive” and “With God, all things are possible”. Well? I’ve been asking for a long time. Nothing. I’ve all but given up on prayer because I see it as pointless. I really don’t know why have haven’t left the church completely. What’s He going to do? Send me to Hell? Heck, I’m already there. Besides, if my life on this Earth is any indication of how much God “loves” me then why would I even want to go to heaven and spend eternity with Him and suffer even more misery?

Thanks for letting me vent, but I doubt there is anything anyone can say that is going to make be feel differently.

Lost Sheep, I like you! You said a lot. Thanks for venting. I know I can’t make you feel differently. Your feelings are real.

On the health side of depression, I am sorry you suffer from this. Obviously it isn’t under control. I hope you can find a way to help with your diagnosis of clinical depression.

I believe that every thing someone suggests as a reason you should be happy, you can refute every time. You can probably do it in your sleep. You are very smart.

Why do you think God picked you to steer towards misfortune and misery?

What part of God’s nature leads him to do that to any one?

I’m glad you haven’t left the Church.

So, do you want to live in Heaven? What do you think Heaven is like?

What do you want God to do to show you He loves you?

I heard about a book on the radio today and thought of you as soon as I heard the title.

I loved the title. WHERE the HELL is GOD?

indcatholicnews.com/news.php?viewStory=17922

Its written by a priest and the title comes from something his mother said.

I would say Have a Good Day, but I know you could refute it!. :tiphat:

 

[LegoGE1947]

Lost Sheep, I like you! You said a lot. Thanks for venting. I know I can’t make you feel differently. Your feelings are real.

On the health side of depression, I am sorry you suffer from this. Obviously it isn’t under control. I hope you can find a way to help with your diagnosis of clinical depression.

I believe that every thing someone suggests as a reason you should be happy, you can refute every time. You can probably do it in your sleep. You are very smart.

Why do you think God picked you to steer towards misfortune and misery?

What part of God’s nature leads him to do that to any one?

I’m glad you haven’t left the Church.

So, do you want to live in Heaven? What do you think Heaven is like?

What do you want God to do to show you He loves you?

I heard about a book on the radio today and thought of you as soon as I heard the title.

I loved the title. WHERE the HELL is GOD?

indcatholicnews.com/news.php?viewStory=17922

Its written by a priest and the title comes from something his mother said.

I would say Have a Good Day, but I know you could refute it!. :tiphat:

I’m not going to try and refute what anyone is saying here. My only issue is it doesn’t seem to work for ME! And I don’t get why. And I’m TRYING to have a Good Day if I could just figure out how to have a good day or what that means or is like!

 

[RoseMary131]

I’m not going to try and refute what anyone is saying here. My only issue is it doesn’t seem to work for ME! And I don’t get why. And I’m TRYING to have a Good Day if I could just figure out how to have a good day or what that means or is like!

What doesn’t work for you Lego?

So what do you do when you TRY to have a Good Day?

I guess everyone has a different meaning for a “good day”? What would a good day be like for you?:tiphat:

 

[LegoGE1947]

What doesn’t work for you Lego?

So what do you do when you TRY to have a Good Day?

I guess everyone has a different meaning for a “good day”? What would a good day be like for you?:tiphat:

1. Attempting to make positive affirmations and believing them.
2. I try not to be or say anything negative or anything someone would interpret as negative.
3. A good day would be a day in which I didn’t do something or say something clumsy or stupid.
   October 6, 2012 definitely was NOT a good day. It was the day in which I happened to be at the same intersection with someone who was not watching what they were doing and violated a traffic signal and t-boned the only automobile I ever had that I really liked, put me in the hospital with a broken rib, a punctured lung and a dislocated shoulder. As a result, I am now deathly afraid to get behind the wheel of ANY motor vehicle, even though the accident was NOT my fault and there were eye-witnesses to prove it was not.

 

[RoseMary131]

1. Attempting to make positive affirmations and believing them.
2. I try not to be or say anything negative or anything someone would interpret as negative.
3. A good day would be a day in which I didn’t do something or say something clumsy or stupid.
   October 6, 2012 definitely was NOT a good day. It was the day in which I happened to be at the same intersection with someone who was not watching what they were doing and violated a traffic signal and t-boned the only automobile I ever had that I really liked, put me in the hospital with a broken rib, a punctured lung and a dislocated shoulder. As a result, I am now deathly afraid to get behind the wheel of ANY motor vehicle, even though the accident was NOT my fault and there were eye-witnesses to prove it was not.

So, a good day is not doing something clumsy or stupid and you try to have a good day by not saying something negative.

You try to live a posititve day…Is that what you call a good day - a day of positive ideas that should equal you not making a clumsy or stupid action or statement…only something negative, clumsy, or stupid happens anyway.

(Did I get that right or did I misunderstand?)

If I understand that right, I have a lot of days that wouldn’t be considered good. Despite saying something negative or making clumsy or stupid statements or actions, I have a lot of good days.

I see the day you had the accident was not a good day on anyone’s idea of a good day. Wow, you had a lot of suffering from that day.I’m sorry you had so many injuries and lost your car. How is your recovery?

It seems quite normal not to want to drive now. All the feelings come back up. Do you have someone to drive you now or do you have to drive inspite of the trauma it stirs up?

What about tomorrow, do you have plans for tomorrow? I hope you feel its a good day!:tiphat:

 

[Methos]

Since “Lost Sheep” laid his story out. Here’s mine. I’m from a home with abusive parents, which included an alcoholic father. I was picked and beaten on in elementary school and junior high. “Shut up, don’t be a cry baby,” I was told. I was considered intelligent, but lacked creativity and imagination. One teacher in particular like to assign poems and stories as assignments and seem to take sadistic joy in pointing out to the class how my supposed intelligence didn’t work. I may have been in honor class, but I was at the bottom there. While in high school, around 15, I was developing depression, which later lead to a double diagnosis of dysthymia and schizoid personality disorder. So, not only am I in the dark, but I’m immune to encouragement and criticism hits like a rock to the face. Let’s not forget the double depression where a regular depressed perons might as well be the happiest person in the world. Being denied happiness, I eat a lot and drink Pepsi (2-liters a day and, no, I don’t have diabetes) to get some small sense of pleasure. The bullying at home and school stopped as I was now able to fight back. Graduated, went to college, failed at engineering, switched to History, graduated, got my teaching credential, but never got hired. While I may have knowledge, I can’t elaborate motives and such. My appearance and speech make people not take me seriously. I did learn to write papers quickly. Friends few and far between, but they moved on. Subbed here and there. I had money for counseling and found my problems were drug-resistant. Eventually, I got a job helping someone who was considered a pillar of the parish. Well, at least she was until the door closed. I just up and quit one day being tired of the abuse. Never got the several thousand in backpay I was owed. That was the last job I had in 6 years.

So, I’m in my late 30’s, living at home and jobless. Whereas my father at my age was married, had a job, a house paid in full and, of course children. It’s doubtful I’ll get a job due to the economy, lack of job skills, lack of job history and too much education. They want someone with passion, enthusiasm, etc, etc. I just want a paycheck. Also, I get stuck at mediocrity to where new people will eventually pass me by. I can actually digress in skill. So, there goes confidence and there goes the house. Money may not buy happiness, but it will less the stress. I’ll never get married as I’m not that selfless, plus inadequate social skills, not much to offer, used to solitary activities and love as an emotion is unknown to me. I’m impressed not by appearance (although I’ll admit a fondness for redheads), makeup or clothes.If you dyed your hair, it’d take me a week to notice. Devoutness and cooking ability would have impressed me more years ago. I’d hate to have me as a father let alone have a child who’d inherit my problems. If I could rid myself of this biological imperative I would. Put it in a chest, drop it into the ocean and drop depth charges on it. Emotionally I’m shut down to where when my mother died, you might as well have told me it was going to rain tomorrow. Although, I do respond to anger and the accompanying adrenaline rush.

Yes, I’ve been told to offer it up. But why should I give to people who already have so much more than I do and never give a thought to me? They’d get the best of both worlds. I don’t pray as I already know the answer is no as He’s told so many others no. Regular chat. I don’t even talk to my own father much and we’re under the same roof.Could I change and try the path? Yes, but I’ve failed at everything else. Why should I succeed here. It might work for a while, then I stumble and die. I’m the flaw in the plan.In the past, I thought the only way was John 15:13, but I know I’ll be denied that. I might as well be the selfish, self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic people think I am. It might be better than trying and pretending.

I’ll end with the Biblical text I fear most of all. It’s not Revelations, but Matthew 25:14-30 and it’s likely my life will end the same way.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

Why do you think God picked you to steer towards misfortune and misery?

If I knew that, I wouldn’t be having this problem.

What part of God’s nature leads him to do that to any one?

See previous response.

I’m glad you haven’t left the Church.

Yet.

So, do you want to live in Heaven?

Not if God is there.

What do you think Heaven is like?

My life on Earth, only worse.

What do you want God to do to show you He loves you?

An apology would be a good start.

I would say Have a Good Day, but I know you could refute it!. :tiphat:

When someone tells me “Good morning” I say “Oh yeah? Prove it.”

 

[LegoGE1947]

So, a good day is not doing something clumsy or stupid and you try to have a good day by not saying something negative.

You try to live a posititve day…Is that what you call a good day - a day of positive ideas that should equal you not making a clumsy or stupid action or statement…only something negative, clumsy, or stupid happens anyway.

(Did I get that right or did I misunderstand?)

If I understand that right, I have a lot of days that wouldn’t be considered good. Despite saying something negative or making clumsy or stupid statements or actions, I have a lot of good days.

I see the day you had the accident was not a good day on anyone’s idea of a good day. Wow, you had a lot of suffering from that day.I’m sorry you had so many injuries and lost your car. How is your recovery?

It seems quite normal not to want to drive now. All the feelings come back up. Do you have someone to drive you now or do you have to drive inspite of the trauma it stirs up?

What about tomorrow, do you have plans for tomorrow? I hope you feel its a good day!:tiphat:

My wife or someone else drives me. I’m in the process of getting physical therapy to try to get the strength back in my left arm and my left side where most of the injuries were. Therapist says the injuries will have to take their own time to completely heal but the therapy will halp things along. Before becoming Catholic about 10 years ago, my wife and I were into some of these protestant “mega-churches” where the pastor and staff teach people to “watch what you think or say” basing this on such biblical verses as Proverbs 18:21, Isaiah 53:5, Philippians 4:13, If you ever watch protestant tv shows such as Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, TD Jakes, Joel Osteen, etc. you may know something about this. As for plans for tomorrow my only plans are to go grocery shopping with my wife, go to morning Mass, perhaps rake some leaves to prepare our lawn for winter and struggle to “watch what I say.” and keep my negative feelings stuffed down inside so they don’t offend God or someone.Oh yes, and recite the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet and read some of the Bible and the Catechism.

 

[LegoGE1947]

If I knew that, I wouldn’t be having this problem.

See previous response.

Yet.

Not if God is there.

My life on Earth, only worse.

An apology would be a good start.

When someone tells me “Good morning” I say “Oh yeah? Prove it.”

I also could use a few apologies from God: first for not revealing his will for MY life, for not keeping that nut job from speeding through a stop light and ruining my car and crippling me up for several weeks, for not allowing someone other than Barak “Obummer” to win the election, for making my wife become diabetic and obese and not keeping her father from abusing her as a child, for taking away a good-paying job four years ago. and for not revealing to me what I’m to do with the rest of my miserable life.

 

[RoseMary131]

I also could use a few apologies from God: first for not revealing his will for MY life, for not keeping that nut job from speeding through a stop light and ruining my car and crippling me up for several weeks, for not allowing someone other than Barak “Obummer” to win the election, for making my wife become diabetic and obese and not keeping her father from abusing her as a child, for taking away a good-paying job four years ago. and for not revealing to me what I’m to do with the rest of my miserable life.

To LegoGE, Lost Sheep, and Methos,

Thank you for sharing with me. You have all shared so much and I’m sure it is really “so little” of your pain.

I want to first respond to this message from Lego, because It forms in my mind much easier. My response to the other messages are really just feelings right now. It takes me a bit to think how to put my “feelings” into written words.

This is how I understand God in the above situation. God created and He put creation into play. He is not “playing” with creation. By that I mean, like a child will set up his toys and move them around the play area doing what he wants with them. When he wants his toys to move, they do. When he wants his toys to “fly” they do. He holds the toys in his hand and it “flys”.

God put creation into play and gave creation “natural” events and “cause and effect” events.

The nut job that hit you did so by not observing the laws of driving and the laws of nature. For what ever reason, he did not observe paying attention so that he was driving safely, he hit your car. You were following the laws of driving. You had no idea that this nut job was going to t-bone you. The laws of nature says that when you drive at the speed he had obtained and you stop your car on the side of another car…destruction results. You dear Lego, got the true feel of that destruction.

We don’t know if God or the angel of the driver tried to reach the driver to pay attention, and he choose not too. We don’t know if God and your angel possibly helped you from an even worse fate.

God could have “made” someone win the election besides Obama. Lots and lots of people prayed for a different outcome. Lots of people feel this is a social and spiritual disaster with Obama still in the White House. Sadly, lots of people voted for this guy and for different reasons. God is not the child at play with toys. God lets the votes stand as cast. IMHO, people needed their hearts change to change their votes and others needed to understand what is really going on with the Obama agenda. God is not going to force the Obama supporters to change their hearts. So, we get the vote of the people.

God did not give your beautiful wife diabetes nor make her obese. Diabetes results in the nature of the human body to not always function properly. Obesity can result from a mixture of the body not working properly or the types and amount of food consumed and the amount of energy spent in comparison to intake of calories. Diabetes and obesity, along with a few other medical condtions often work in a cycle, each one making the other one worse. God could intervene and make it all go away. He has set His creation into motion, and the human body does break down. We do make poor choices in what to eat. Farmers make poor choices, IMHO, with genetically altered foods. Some people will eat only the best foods for our bodies, exercise regularly and still suffer from medical issues.

I am so, so sorry for the pain your wife suffered at the hands of her own father. I am sorry her father was abusive. God and the angels may have helped her more than we know. Why didn’t GOD make her father STOP? Because he allowed her father’s awful free will to exist. He allowed this horrible man the option to love or abuse his child. That is hard for us to see. If we walked in the room and saw someone abusing a child, we would make them stop. Why didn’t God do that? Why didn’t God STOP this man? Because God is not the child playing with dolls. God let the man do as he wanted. God does allow us to offer love to those who are abused. God does allow us to be His arms to those in pain.

I’m sorry that you don’t have the job you held four years ago. God did not take the job away from you. You don’t have that job because of whatever were the series of events that lead to the job not being yours.

God is not micromanaging our lives or our universe. God does not “play” with His creation.

God is not going to leave a letter on your kitchen table with directions for the rest of your life. If God played with His creation like a child with toys, we would be just that…a doll with no mind of our own to make our own choices. God is not the writer or the director of a play with us the actors.

Our choices effect everyone…when the scientist genetically alters plants, farmers grown those GMO…we are all affected. When the pollen from GMO pollinates the “pure” plants of another farmer…his food is now altered…from the choices of others.

We are all connected…When the nut job failed to follow the rules of driving, he affected lots of people…you, your family, the police, the insurance company employees, the staff at the hospital from admissions to the laundry staff, the therapist who work with you today. Most of those people are using their hands for good, even if they do not believe in God, even if they “hate” their job. God allows us to use our hands for the good of others. Likewise he let the nut job use his hands how he wanted and his choice resulted in injury to you.

I didn’t tell you any thing you didn’t already know. Try this…ask God if there is anything He wants you to see differently and re-read my message to see if there might be something that is helpful to you.

Enjoy today. :tiphat:

 

[RoseMary131]

I also could use a few apologies from God: .

I didn’t address the “apology” in my response…

Genesis 1:31. God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good.

HE found it very good.

What we do with creation is not always good. In fact before the fall of man, there would have been no degeneration of the human body.

When Lucifier** chose **not to serve God, evil began.

Then casted out of Heaven with a third of the angels who also rejected God, Satan tempted man to pull man from God. Man chose sin over God.

It all goes to free will. Free will of angels and free will of man. The free will of the angels and all of creation - affects each of us.

God did not do anything that calls for Him to apologize to you or any of us.

He does feel the pain you suffer. He does love you. He does allow the free will of others to bring you comfort…the therapist who is helping you today, the hospital staff who helped you after the accident, your wife or someone else who drives you, the auto designer who made your car safer than it would have been years ago.

You and your wive are God’s hands to each other. You for the pain you feel about what her father did to her. You for the pain you feel about her suffering with diabetes and obesity. That is love. God loves us through each other.

:tiphat:

 

[Dorothy]

This nugget of deep wisdom comes from the book The Little Flowers of St. Francis.

I would like to share it:

feastofsaints.com/perfectjoy.htm

 

[RoseMary131]

My wife or someone else drives me. I’m in the process of getting physical therapy to try to get the strength back in my left arm and my left side where most of the injuries were. Therapist says the injuries will have to take their own time to completely heal but the therapy will halp things along. Before becoming Catholic about 10 years ago, my wife and I were into some of these protestant “mega-churches” where the pastor and staff teach people to “watch what you think or say” basing this on such biblical verses as Proverbs 18:21, Isaiah 53:5, Philippians 4:13, If you ever watch protestant tv shows such as Kenneth Copeland, Creflo Dollar, TD Jakes, Joel Osteen, etc. you may know something about this. As for plans for tomorrow my only plans are to go grocery shopping with my wife, go to morning Mass, perhaps rake some leaves to prepare our lawn for winter and struggle to “watch what I say.” and keep my negative feelings stuffed down inside so they don’t offend God or someone.Oh yes, and recite the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet and read some of the Bible and the Catechism.

I’m glad you have someone to drive you while you recover from the pain and the emotional trauma of fear behind the wheel. You know that it wasn’t your reactions behind the wheel that caused the accident, but the trauma causes you to fear driving. Sometimes talking this through with someone else can help you get over the fear of driving. Sometimes it needs a trained counselor to walk you past a specific fear.

When you left the protestant mega churches, “Prosterity Churches”, for the Catholic Church, you got to leave the idea of “good thoughts, good works, good words = good life, easy living, fun, fortune.” I know you didn’t say all that and you may not be looking for that.

The Catholic Church doesn’t teach that.

You are free to express your true feelings even if they are negative. (Of course there is a proper way to share negative feelings or thoughts, I’m not talking about using bad manners or insulting people.) We don’t want to offend people, but we don’t have to only speak “positively”. A negative expression is an acceptable thing to share with another person.

I don’t know the works of those you listed, so I can not give you a list of things they teach that are not in accord with the Catholic Church. I know there is a premise that you “draw fortunes to you, or you draw prosterity to you” like a “magic magnet” in my words. That is not the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Your negative feelings do not offend God. Feelings are our true emotions. We should not stuff them down. God did not make the human mind to only have positive feelings. If God didn’t design us to only have positive feelings, why would we want to force our mind to be that way?

What we do with our feelings, positive or negative feeling, can be right or wrong but not the feeling themself.

You are such a strong man. To work so hard to not express negative feelings, so as not to offend God - that takes a lot of strength and courage. I admire that dedication from you. At the same time, God is not asking that of you. God sees in your heart that you are trying to stuff away any negative feelings so as not to offend Him. Wow!

Just hearing from me that you don’t have to do that may not be enough “proof”. I encourage you to speak with a priest or another Catholic near you. What a huge burden to carry. I hope you can leave this burden. It is a man made burden and you don’t need it.

I hope today was a good day for you. What you wrote sounds to me like a good day. Spending time with your wife getting your groceries, the honor of attending Holy Mass, time outdoors raking which gives you exercise, fresh air, the beauty of nature, and praying and studying the Bible and CCC. That sounds wonderful. Let go of your plan to stuff your true feelings and I think your day sounds good.

What do you think about not stuffing your negative feelings? Is that something you could do and not feel bad for doing it? If you spoke negative feelings would this cause offense to your wife since she also “learned” this at the other church?

 

[Samson01]

Best advice I ever got was to “push those comfort zones”. I drive quite a bit now after fear of it for awhile. Tim

 

[LegoGE1947]

I’m glad you have someone to drive you while you recover from the pain and the emotional trauma of fear behind the wheel. You know that it wasn’t your reactions behind the wheel that caused the accident, but the trauma causes you to fear driving. Sometimes talking this through with someone else can help you get over the fear of driving. Sometimes it needs a trained counselor to walk you past a specific fear.

When you left the protestant mega churches, “Prosterity Churches”, for the Catholic Church, you got to leave the idea of “good thoughts, good works, good words = good life, easy living, fun, fortune.” I know you didn’t say all that and you may not be looking for that.

The Catholic Church doesn’t teach that.

You are free to express your true feelings even if they are negative. (Of course there is a proper way to share negative feelings or thoughts, I’m not talking about using bad manners or insulting people.) We don’t want to offend people, but we don’t have to only speak “positively”. A negative expression is an acceptable thing to share with another person.

I don’t know the works of those you listed, so I can not give you a list of things they teach that are not in accord with the Catholic Church. I know there is a premise that you “draw fortunes to you, or you draw prosterity to you” like a “magic magnet” in my words. That is not the teachings of the Catholic Church.

Your negative feelings do not offend God. Feelings are our true emotions. We should not stuff them down. God did not make the human mind to only have positive feelings. If God didn’t design us to only have positive feelings, why would we want to force our mind to be that way?

What we do with our feelings, positive or negative feeling, can be right or wrong but not the feeling themself.

You are such a strong man. To work so hard to not express negative feelings, so as not to offend God - that takes a lot of strength and courage. I admire that dedication from you. At the same time, God is not asking that of you. God sees in your heart that you are trying to stuff away any negative feelings so as not to offend Him. Wow!

Just hearing from me that you don’t have to do that may not be enough “proof”. I encourage you to speak with a priest or another Catholic near you. What a huge burden to carry. I hope you can leave this burden. It is a man made burden and you don’t need it.

I hope today was a good day for you. What you wrote sounds to me like a good day. Spending time with your wife getting your groceries, the honor of attending Holy Mass, time outdoors raking which gives you exercise, fresh air, the beauty of nature, and praying and studying the Bible and CCC. That sounds wonderful. Let go of your plan to stuff your true feelings and I think your day sounds good.

What do you think about not stuffing your negative feelings? Is that something you could do and not feel bad for doing it? If you spoke negative feelings would this cause offense to your wife since she also “learned” this at the other church?

At this point I would feel bad for letting my feelings out because I hate negativity, I hate the ways I feel after I express it, I basically hate ME and I’m not too fond of the way God created me and allowed my life to play out thus far. All my life I seem to have been a “fall-guy” for others. If others were doing wrong things and I was anywhere around I would get slapped down and the other people would get away scott-free. I’ve also been quiet, backward, someone who was an easy victim for any bully with no recourse but to simply “suck it up” and stand there and take it. (BTW I didn’t get to rake leaves or spend much time outside because it rained very hard here for a while. Also I bought groceries while my wife sat in the car in the store parking lot. With her health problems she can’t walk so much in a huge store. Mass was good but to me way too short. The priest had just one short sentence in his homily “The biggest sin of many Catholics or Christians is the failure to truly live what they say they believe!” Short but to the point.

 

[RoseMary131]

At this point I would feel bad for letting my feelings out because I hate negativity, I hate the ways I feel after I express it, I basically hate ME and I’m not too fond of the way God created me and allowed my life to play out thus far. All my life I seem to have been a “fall-guy” for others. If others were doing wrong things and I was anywhere around I would get slapped down and the other people would get away scott-free. I’ve also been quiet, backward, someone who was an easy victim for any bully with no recourse but to simply “suck it up” and stand there and take it. (BTW I didn’t get to rake leaves or spend much time outside because it rained very hard here for a while. Also I bought groceries while my wife sat in the car in the store parking lot. With her health problems she can’t walk so much in a huge store. Mass was good but to me way too short. The priest had just one short sentence in his homily “The biggest sin of many Catholics or Christians is the failure to truly live what they say they believe!” Short but to the point.

Even though you bought groceries while your wife sat in the car, it is still part of a good day to me. She probably drove you to help you and you shopped alone because of her health issues. Would you call this part of the day “good” and why?

I’m sorry people have notice a softness in you that allowed them to bully or walk over you. Don’t hate yourself because sinners see you as someone they can set up as the fall-guy.

That same softness is probably a gentle spirit of goodness. That does not make it feel any better to you. It does not make it “fair” to you that you suffered from their actions. Don’t let “them” make you hate yourself. You may see that as a weakness. The fact you could only suck it up and stand there and take it, says a lot about your character. You didn’t “attack” back. That is courage and strength in my eyes.

At this point I would feel bad for letting my feelings out because I hate negativity, I hate the ways I feel after I express it, I basically hate ME

This part confuses me. How can you hate the way you feel when you express negative feelings about something and at the same time state you basically hate yourself?

How would you like your character or personality to be so as to not hate yourself?

Enjoy spending tomorrow with your wife.:tiphat:

 

[LegoGE1947]

Even though you bought groceries while your wife sat in the car, it is still part of a good day to me. She probably drove you to help you and you shopped alone because of her health issues. Would you call this part of the day “good” and why?

I’m sorry people have notice a softness in you that allowed them to bully or walk over you. Don’t hate yourself because sinners see you as someone they can set up as the fall-guy.

That same softness is probably a gentle spirit of goodness. That does not make it feel any better to you. It does not make it “fair” to you that you suffered from their actions. Don’t let “them” make you hate yourself. You may see that as a weakness. The fact you could only suck it up and stand there and take it, says a lot about your character. You didn’t “attack” back. That is courage and strength in my eyes.

At this point I would feel bad for letting my feelings out because I hate negativity, I hate the ways I feel after I express it, I basically hate ME

This part confuses me. How can you hate the way you feel when you express negative feelings about something and at the same time state you basically hate yourself?

How would you like your character or personality to be so as to not hate yourself?

Enjoy spending tomorrow with your wife.:tiphat:

I hate myself for having negative feelings rather than very many positive ones. Then when I can’t hold them in any longer I hate myself when I express them. I just wish they’d go away. Many people equate me with “Eeyore” the donkey character in the Winnie the Pooh stories who is always sad. I’ve always been told that Christians are suppose to be joyful and happy, but I find that near impossible. Like “whatever is true, honorable,just,pure, lovely, praise-worthy, think on these things” (Philippians 4:8) but somehow it isn’t happening for me. I’m suppose to be “strong in the Lord and the power of his might” but what’s that mean? Might as well tell me to understand the Theory of Relativity.

 

[SuperLuigi]

A lot of people on this forum, and a lot of people of faith in general make me really nervous, and I constantly feel like i’m going straight to hell.

I have faith, and my faith is ingrained in the belief that there is one God and a true God that has done wonders for me in my life. Happens to be that, by growing up in the catholic home, I discovered the God of Isaac, Jacob and David, and I felt an instant connection that, when I pray today, it’s to that God that I pray. I pray, and I pray even more to Mary, because of the mother figure I feel from her. My faith and belief, I feel, sometimes strengthen me a lot. I’ve never been the luckiest of fellas in life, but every single time, I find God’s blessings upon me somehow.

However my faith isn’t enough on its own, so I recently decided to read more the bible and inspire myself more with the word. I also felt like I need also to get inspired through teachings, and doctrines of my church and there lies my main issue.

I feel like I’m part of those that aren’t worth being called christian or believer, I feel like i’m the worst of the human beings there is on the planet, and for few reasons, the first is I read a thread on sex before marriage, I was in a relationship for 5 years, the third year I had sex with the girl that I dated. I very much tried throughout my life to conform to word of God, my dad would really teach and talk to me for hours about abstinence before marriage, I was weak and through this same weakness, I got exposed to porn and masturbation, because my body and my mind couldn’t deal well with being active sexually, but most importantly I feel I was in love, and thought it would never end. I can’t justify it and don’t want to, but my very problem is this, why do people of faith usually make others feel like they aren’t worth a penny. I hear beautiful words coming from people near perfect. I read, from a guy, i’m 27, i waited. I read from a woman, marriages where people where already active sexually fails, with stats to justify it, and in my mind I go here we go again. Some of it, is anger at myself for not being able to withstand my weakness, but some of it also toward people that teach oh so perfect.

God knows my heart and God knows for every prayer, it goes out to him and in sincerity. God also knows my character, I’m not perfect. I try my best to live by the GOOD, because I believe in the GOOD. why isn’t this enough on its own. I’m not seeking my neighbors detriment. i’m not forging untrue stories about anything to anyone. When it so happens I cross those lines, I pray to God for my forgiveness, and I try never to repeat it. Why isn’t this a good enough base for catholicism??

And then I also feel very deranged at this by this phenomena. I read the Qu’ran in the past to find this answer, I engaged men of faith and I never get an adequate answer for this question?? If I was born of a different faith, or atheism, but in my life path, i at least went only on doing good, and being good and faithful to others, without attending church every sunday or know about abstinence, but still was thought enough morality, decency etc… why can’t I feel accepted among those of any faith. We say the non believers, the Muslims say the infidels. why so discriminatory for faiths that in someway or the other claim they preach unity tolerance and acceptance. Why those condemning eyes.

Why that picture that faith, or being of faith is so unattainable.

When looking for information in the forums, you need to understand a couple of things.

One is that a lot of people play it safe. Sometimes, the idea of getting more graces can go to people’s heads.

Secondly, the best place to go with specific questions about the faith are to ask apologists.

Third, sins such as masturbation and pornography are more common than you think as is missing Mass on Sundays without a good reason but the reality is that they are sins and can be mortal sins that do no permit us to participate in Communion.

I think it’s good that you don’t slander others, but we don’t get to pick what rules to follow and which ones not to follow.

I don’t think too many people on here mean to condemn you to hell, but this is a site that on the whole tries to tell the Truth and sometimes posts can sound more mean than they actually are.