Good books on sexuality for teen boy

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domini1005

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I am sure if I spent time digging around I could find this topic discussed - - - but I am seeking good recommendations for books for our young (13) teenage son on the changes of puberty and, more importantly, the teaching of the Church on sexuality. Suggestions anyone?
 
Thanks for this thread. I found Jason Evert’s “If You Loved Me” from reading this and got a copy for one of my daughters so she could get the theology of the body from a man’s point of view, as her father will never talk to her as he should. She was voraciously reading the book (She is not usually that interested in anything religious 😦 )

She told her older sister it was a good book and not too preachy, but it was biblically based.

At least she’s reading it. Once the idea is in her head, God can let it germinate and grow.

Thanks for this thread. I had to laugh, because she’s the most “boy-like” of my kids. She doesn’t even like chocolate. She keeps telling me she’s really a boy. But unfortunately, she likes boys too much and I don’t like her boyfriend!

First loves are not magical when you’re the mother watching it. :mad:
 
I know you asked about a book, but I would also recommend a DVD, *Romance Without Regret. *I got that for my son and he watched it. It has Jason and Crystalina Evert doing a presentation at a high school, and they are very good. It’s so good that I showed it to one of the staff members at the pregnancy center where I volunteer, and it’s now part of the pregnancy center’s resources we show clients to teach them about chastity.
 
Liberanosamalo said:
Thanks for this thread. I found Jason Evert’s “If You Loved Me” from reading this and got a copy for one of my daughters so she could get the theology of the body from a man’s point of view, as her father will never talk to her as he should. She was voraciously reading the book (She is not usually that interested in anything religious 😦 )

She told her older sister it was a good book and not too preachy, but it was biblically based.

At least she’s reading it. Once the idea is in her head, God can let it germinate and grow.

Thanks for this thread. I had to laugh, because she’s the most “boy-like” of my kids. She doesn’t even like chocolate. She keeps telling me she’s really a boy. But unfortunately, she likes boys too much and I don’t like her boyfriend!

First loves are not magical when you’re the mother watching it. :mad:
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Thanks for the tip. My boys would not read Evert’s TOB for Teens. I wasn’t all that impressed with it either but I’m no longer a teen. But the Evert’s have been working with teens for years. 🤷
 
TOB for teens is not meant to be read like a “regular” book, it is a textbook. There is a teachers guide as well. It might be better recieved if it is taught in a class situation, youth group or RE?
 
I bought one for my son last year, written by Pope JP2…I can’t remember the name of it…My son has read it…I don’t know if he has taken it out of the boxes since we moved last month, but it is excellent.
 
Love and Responsibility, maybe? That was JPII’s “layman’s version” of TOB, right?
 
duskyjewel said:
Love and Responsibility, maybe? That was JPII’s “layman’s version” of TOB, right?
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It was a book specifically for teens–maybe it was a teenage version of that…Let me google it quickly…
 
Can I submit a question? My 13y/o boy has no interest in discussing the subject. He’s a good, thoughtful boy, and he’s been exposed to next-to-nothing (homeschooler), very innocent. Do I wait until he’s ready to talk about it? Or do I wait until he’s interested in girls and want to talk?
 
If his body is changing into manhood, and at 13 I am willing to bet that it is, you need to talk to him NOW. You are a parent, and part of your job is to educate him on what is happening to his body and give him the tools to deal with the overwhelming physical and emotional feelings he is going to be having in his teenage years. You want him to have correct, honest information, given to him in loving context by a parent, framed in Church teaching.

You do NOT want your very innocent (naive) son to be left on his own to deal with whatever is happening to him and have some local girl offer to “educate” him. Be aware that girls are just as aggressive, and even more so, as boys these days.

I don’t understand any parent waiting this long to start this discussion. Can you please enlighten me on the reasons you have not talked to him before now, because I literally, truly do not understand. I just really believe that we are obligated as parents to prepare our children as much as we can for every part of life. And puberty is such a huge upheaval, and sexuality can be such a huge part of life, emotional makeup, and self-definition, that I do not understand why so many parents seem to look for ways to get by without talking about it, or to put if off for as long as possible.
 
Well, it’s not that he’s completely ignorant of courtship and marriage. I’ve hesitated because I thought it would be more comfortable if my husband spoke to him, and he hasn’t for whatever reason. My dh is a great dad, too, so whatever he hasn’t addressed, I’m sure he has a good reason.
DS knows the anatomy (proper names), but he is unaware of the mechanics of sex, and that’s what I’m not sure of.
We’ve told ds that things will be happening to him, and he can come to us with any questions or concerns. Again, my husband may have gone over some more specific changes with him, but I would err on the side of thinking he hasn’t.
DS and I have a very good relationship, and he has absolutely changed physically in the last year. Height, hair, broad shoulders and muscle mass (he’s pretty physical). He’s also very pretty comfortable in himself, and my guess is, having been told that there will be changes, when he sees them he just chalks it up to, “oh well, I guess this is what mom and dad were talking about”
I mean, do I tell him about what happens to a man for sex to occur, and for it to be completed in the wife? Do I explain such details?
This is embarrassing!😊
 
Whatever reason your husband has for not having spoken to him is not a good enough one to shirk his duty as a father. I agree with you that this would be better addressed by Dad.

I don’t understand why you don’t know how much your husband has said to your son. Talk to him, have an honest discussion. Ask him, “How much have you told Junior?” Then when you have a handle on that, if you think he needs to say more, get into more detail, tell him that. You two should discuss it, agree on what needs to be discussed, and in what way it will be discussed. Then tell your husband that you have complete faith in his abilities as a good father and that he will fulfill his obligation to educate his son. And this is not a one time discussion. Your child needs to know that he can approach you with questions and get good, solid, information in a calm and loving way. Not red-faced embarrassed stammering that leaves him feeling ashamed or awkward. Because that leads to getting stupid information from friends or searching the internet… and I don’t think much good will come of that!

I guess I am a bit sensitive about this topic, because my husband’s parents did a terrible job (more like non-job) of discussing sex with him, and he paid a terrible price in bad adolescent decision-making and living with the consequences of it for years. He hated himself, was depressed, wrote suicidal stories… I am still angry about that and I urge other parents not to leave their young men unsupported. I think in some ways they are even more sensitive and needful than young women.
 
kage_ar said:
TOB for teens is not meant to be read like a “regular” book, it is a textbook. There is a teachers guide as well. It might be better recieved if it is taught in a class situation, youth group or RE?
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You are correct. I got the teacher version and I attempted to run a class for both my teenage boys. They may be more receptive of someone else than a parent to the material. But I found it hard to “jump in the middle” so to speak.
 
comebacktome said:
I’ve hesitated because I thought it would be more comfortable if my husband spoke to him, and he hasn’t for whatever reason. My dh is a great dad, too, so whatever he hasn’t addressed, I’m sure he has a good reason.
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duskyjewel said:
Whatever reason your husband has for not having spoken to him is not a good enough one to shirk his duty as a father. I agree with you that this would be better addressed by Dad.
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Remember, it’s easier said than done. I can type a ton about it here, I can have a conversation about a particular event/issue, but sitting down and talking “birds and bees” with my sons is quite difficult. No matter what sources you may have at your disposal. I imagine, most dads feel the same way.

BTW, DW hasn’t felt comfortable talking to DD yet, either. So it’s not just dads that have difficulty. Loving urging, not nagging… But it’s like changing the diaper. Someone has to do it, and soon!
 
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