Good books on sexuality for teen boy

[embwt]

familylifecenter.net/article.asp?artID=347

The above link is for Steve Wood’s website. He seems to have a lot of good info, but not having teens yet, I don’t know.

Also, there is a book by Mary Ronan called “Raising your children in an ungodly world.” I have heard her speak, but not read the book. Don’t know how it would be for your son. Probably more for you in helping your son.

 

[comebacktome]

Whatever reason your husband has for not having spoken to him is not a good enough one to shirk his duty as a father. I agree with you that this would be better addressed by Dad.

I don’t understand why you don’t know how much your husband has said to your son. Talk to him, have an honest discussion. Ask him, “How much have you told Junior?” Then when you have a handle on that, if you think he needs to say more, get into more detail, tell him that. You two should discuss it, agree on what needs to be discussed, and in what way it will be discussed. Then tell your husband that you have complete faith in his abilities as a good father and that he will fulfill his obligation to educate his son. And this is not a one time discussion. Your child needs to know that he can approach you with questions and get good, solid, information in a calm and loving way. Not red-faced embarrassed stammering that leaves him feeling ashamed or awkward. Because that leads to getting stupid information from friends or searching the internet… and I don’t think much good will come of that!

I guess I am a bit sensitive about this topic, because my husband’s parents did a terrible job (more like non-job) of discussing sex with him, and he paid a terrible price in bad adolescent decision-making and living with the consequences of it for years. He hated himself, was depressed, wrote suicidal stories… I am still angry about that and I urge other parents not to leave their young men unsupported. I think in some ways they are even more sensitive and needful than young women.

Well, I am certain of your best intentions, and I did ask the questions, but I’d like to you reconsider the suggestion that my husband is somehow shirking his responsibilites.
That said, you are quite right that erroneous info will find it’s way to my son, and I don’t want that to happen. However, if I begin a discussion (which I’ve tried to do), and my son just isn’t ready for the details, do I force it? To my way of thinking, there will come a time when he finds himself interested in a girl, and then he’ll have questions, and we can answer.
I don’t want the truth distorted, but I don’t want him to turn up his nose at the beauty of sex in a holy, loving marriage because he’s more interested in football and creating special effects on his computer than in girls, and he just doesn’t care. KWIM?
In today’s sex saturated culture, there is room for mistakes in both witholding info too long, and giving it too soon. So, we pray and ask for info from those that share our values.

 

[duskyjewel]

Remember, it’s easier said than done. I can type a ton about it here, I can have a conversation about a particular event/issue, but sitting down and talking “birds and bees” with my sons is quite difficult. No matter what sources you may have at your disposal. I imagine, most dads feel the same way.

BTW, DW hasn’t felt comfortable talking to DD yet, either. So it’s not just dads that have difficulty. Loving urging, not nagging… But it’s like changing the diaper. Someone has to do it, and soon!

Everything is easier to say than do.

When you feel like not doing your job, just remember this: Do you want your son depressed and suicidal? Do you want him having sex at 15, hating himself for that sin for three years, feeling like he used that girl and hating himself for that too? All because you couldn’t open your mouth? That is exactly what happened to my DH. The only thing his father ever said to him was, “Don’t do anything that will get you in trouble.” His mother said nothing. He was given no information outside of school sex ed. He was given no support, no tools, no advice. He was left to flounder with those overwhelming urges without knowing it was OK for a guy to say no. He did what his body said because his spiritual, emotional, and mental development in the area of sexuality was completely abandoned by his parents.

Please do not do that to your children! Grow up and talk about it. People who are not mature enough to talk about sex are too immature to be having sex.

comebacktome, I see waiting past the age at which they start puberty as waiting too long. By the time he is interested in a girl may be too late. He needs strategies in place BEFORE he is alone with a girl and physically aroused to deal with how to keep things from getting out of hand. He needs to know it’s OK for a guy to say no… this culture does not support that and will tell your son to jump at every opportunity. He also needs to know WHY he is waiting… Church teaching about sex and marriage.

 

[acody6684]

I would check out “every young mans battle” by Stephen Arterburn. Its a great book for any boy in his early teens to twenties. A definate must read for any young man who wants good sexual morallity and a good marriage in the future.