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azgirl

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I wanted to get your opinions on this. Do you think it is okay to google search someone that you have met online? I have to admit I have. One man I met about 6 months ago. Things were going okay but I always had a nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right. I ended up doing a google search on him and found out some information that led to me to end dating him. I have recently met another man online. I don’t know why but I ended up googling him last night. Found out he got arrested in another state. I feel bad about my actions but also feel like I am looking out for myself at the same time because you really know nothing about people you meet online. What do you all think?
 
Of course it’s okay! Why in the world wouldn’t it be!?? 🤷
That would be the *FIRST *thing I’d do if I were meeting people online… 👍

It’s okay to be a little savvy… 😉
 
Agree with Em, I think it would be a mistake NOT to look into people you meet online!
 
Em_in_FL said:
Of course it’s okay! Why in the world wouldn’t it be!?? 🤷
That would be the *FIRST *thing I’d do if I were meeting people online… 👍

It’s okay to be a little savvy… 😉
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I 100% agree!

If I were dating someone online, I would want them to research me to their heart’s content! No secrets, no surprises.
 
Many articles have been written about how very common it is now to look up new dates on google and facebook before you even meet them in person. It’s completely normal and also a very good idea! I think there are older people who worry that it feels to much like snooping and stalking, but for a generation that has lived most of their lives completely open on the internet it feels completely normal.
 
I agree that this has been common practice for the last decade or so. If I were dating, I would just assume that someone had looked me up - even if we had met in real life, rather than online.

I’m not sure that it is all that different from the old-fashioned practice of quizzing mutual friends, or having friends do the “snooping” for you. It promotes safety, and it gives a better idea about compatibility.
 
I tend to agree, caution is wise in this day and age.

Just be sure that if you find damaging information, you are sure it’s that person. With billions of people in the world, duplicate names are almost gauranteed to occur.
 
If you are going to meet someone from online, you should order a background check first. Simply googling might not give you the correct info. They aren’t that expensive.
 
Meet 'em online, check 'em out line. Ya gotta love technology.
 
I agree, I would suggest using any resources you have to verify information about people when you meed them online.

Joe
 
Strongly recommended. I don’t see anything wrong with it at all. But, don’t judge too harshly what you find. There are 2 sides to every story and not everyone will want to bring up the foolish mistakes they made when they were much younger early in a new relationship.

I would do more than just Google, BTW. There are good mega-search tools out there that pull from a wide variety of sources. Pipl is one example. Just be careful as these tools can find a zillion folks all with the same name.
 
Just be sure it’s the same person! I googled myself once and it came up with multiple sites featuring a woman with my same name, but living in a different country and doing some entirely inappropriate things.
 
I think I’d be upfront with the person I was googling as well. If they have a problem with you checking doing even the most basic of online searches, that would be a huge red flag for me. Anybody meeting potential dates should expect the other to do background checks and not be offended. That way if you do get the wrong person, they could set you straight. It could lead to a great conversation as well on a date.

I think you just have to be just as responsible with the info you do get back in the search as you do not opening yourself up to an online friend to quickly.
 
Okay so now I have googled and found some information about his past. Nothing too serious and many years ago. What would be deal breakers for you all?
 
azgirl said:
Okay so now I have googled and found some information about his past. Nothing too serious and many years ago. What would be deal breakers for you all?
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Assuming it’s him, because as another person said there could multiple people with the same name, a deal-breaker would be any kind of criminal record. I just would not be comfortable with it even if it is was in their teens. It would make me worry about their true character, because unless they completely repented and had a 180 degree turnaround whatever caused them to break the law might still be a part of their personality. Why take the chance?
 
azgirl said:
What would be deal breakers for you all?
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Bestiality, terrorism, and polygamy

Okay, maybe we would all do that (and also for other crimes.) But seriously, strong religious or political beliefs which conflicted with my own would be deal breakers. So would meanness. Some people are just plain vicious when it comes to talking about others, or in the way they treat others. I wouldn’t want to live with someone like that. I would also check out whether my date had a compatible philosophy of money - neither too profligate, nor too stingy. Fights about how money is spent or to be spent are way too common in marriages.
 
I went back and read the information on the man I have seen a couple of times. If it is him (and is sounds like him) it looks like he was arrested in 2004 and sentenced to 24 months. I am so frustrated and sad. I really enjoyed both dates with him. I felt very comfortable with him and was attracted to him. Now I don’t know what to do. Do I ask him about this? Do I run for the hills? I know people can change and I want to give him a chance. But how do you know if people really change or if they just talk of it. Help!
 
azgirl said:
I went back and read the information on the man I have seen a couple of times. If it is him (and is sounds like him) it looks like he was arrested in 2004 and sentenced to 24 months. I am so frustrated and sad. I really enjoyed both dates with him. I felt very comfortable with him and was attracted to him. Now I don’t know what to do. Do I ask him about this? Do I run for the hills? I know people can change and I want to give him a chance. But how do you know if people really change or if they just talk of it. Help!
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Wow, I don’t know what to tell you! 😦 Are you positive it is him? And what site are you finding these guys on? Sounds like you have really bad luck! Have you tried any Catholic dating sites?
 
SarahR said:
Just be sure it’s the same person! I googled myself once and it came up with multiple sites featuring a woman with my same name, but living in a different country and doing some entirely inappropriate things.
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Likely story. Confess, sinner!😃
 
kamaan said:
Wow, I don’t know what to tell you! 😦 Are you positive it is him? And what site are you finding these guys on? Sounds like you have really bad luck! Have you tried any Catholic dating sites?
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I am almost positive it is him. It was his first, middle and last name in the report as well as a description that fits him. No birthdate though which would confirm it was him. I have tried Catholic Match and really wasn’t a big fan. Rarely got any emails. I have had bad luck. This really bums me out. I am supposed to go out with him on Friday and I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to ask him about this and get his side of the story and the other part of me just wants to cancel and end communication with him.
 
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