Gossiping or talking behind back

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In_Jesus_I_Trust

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I want to know,when talking behind the back become gossiping or when it become grave mater.
I was never thinking about that,but now I realize that when I am with my friends we talk about others sometimes.
I want to know when it becomes the grave mater?
I remember that one day I was in a state of grace,didnt commit any mortal sin,but then i realize that maybe i was doing gossiping.But not with hate at all,just i was Being honest behind the back of one person.And I didnt think that was mortal sin,and there wasnt any confessor availlable and i just take communion.So k want to know where is the limit of gossiping.
Can you Being honest about someone even if he isnt there?
 
Bad idea - always and everywhere. Excessive gossiping can cross into grave matter. Detraction can easily do so and calumny is grave from the beginning. Speak with Father, but best to disassociate yourself from such conversations as they become a near occasion of sin for you.
 
If you are going to talk about somebody why not say something good about them.
 
Yes i know,but when we are commenting some specific topic about specific day.
 
What would Saint Francis of Assisi say? I am trying to fall under the influence of the Franciscans, gentle folk who, difficult as it might seem, find good in everyone they encounter.
 
Will keep that in my mind thanks.Yes it might looks hard but we need to give our best.
 
If it’s truthful, and serves a charitable purpose, you’re probably okay.

If it’s just for passing information the listeners don’t really need to know, just keep it to yourself.
 
It’s hard to say without any specifics but I would say your motive is what matters here.

I might tell Suzy what Jane did in order to make Jane look bad.
“Jane got so drunk at the party she started kissing all the guys”
Or I might of told Suzy that for her benefit as her husband was at the party.
 
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EndTimes said:
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In_Jesus_I_Trust:
I want to know,when talking behind the back become gossiping
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Maybe it always is. Which makes the question rather moot…
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I disagree. A case in point : I, with other friends, had been getting worried about another person. it was obvious that serious illness was involved but not admitted to, and so we met together to settle how we could tactfully help with shopping, visiting and so on. So we were talking about this person behind her back but for a good purpose.

My point is, talking about someone is not of itself gossip.
 
Check out the Catechism:

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:
  • of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;
  • of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them;
  • of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.
 
yep…

I’ve come to find that at times - even when I think that I’m being ok when speaking of another, I’m not
 
No one has the right to “paint” a picture of another…talking About another either to seek information or whatever is considered GOSSIP! Why do it…did you know it HURTS! Especially if the person being talked about ever discovered it…Silence is golden; talk is brazen. The busiest thing on earth is an idle rumor. The idle tongue works, not merely all day, but overtime every day! Learn to be silent…Sillence is the language of God. To break silence is to lose peace. Talk is "cheap, but, like other cheap things…it is apt to become expensive in the end…A good rule to follow is “Mind your own business”. One slip of the tongue can do lifelong damage. Only the ignorant and the narrow-minded gossip, for they speak of persons instead of things! Gossip serves no useful purpose…Praise not condem…kind words have irresistible power!
 
I’m afraid it was precisely this attitude which enabled abusive priests to get away with so much for so long. Or any other abusive adult, for that matter.
 
EndTimes said:
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paperwight:
I’m afraid it was precisely this attitude which enabled abusive priests to get away with so much
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What attitude are you referring to?
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It was in the post above mine. The attitude of never criticising anyone, of never admitting the possibility of something wrong going on.
 
paperwight said:
It was in the post above mine. The attitude of never criticising anyone, of never admitting the possibility of something wrong going on.
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Got it!

False Shepherds who are in serious sin - peddle that notion - so as to avoid exposure.

Silence and Coverup from Clerical Abusers does not come from God…

The Spiritual Works of Mercy​

The Spiritual Works of Mercy have long been a part of the Christian tradition, appearing in the works of theologians and spiritual writers throughout history.

The seven Spiritual Works of Mercy are listed below.

COUNSELING THE DOUBTFUL​

Everyone has moments of doubt in their faith journey. Nevertheless, we should always remember that Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and turn to him along our way.
  • Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may eventually become wise" (Prov 19:20)
  • The Cross of Christ “the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength” ([1 Cor 1:25]
  • Has someone asked you for advice? Orient your response to Christ, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life
  • Follow Christ with the witness of your life so that others may see God’s love revealed in your actions
  • Accompany a friend who is struggling with believing to join a parish group for service or faith formation, share a book you found useful in dealing with your friend’s faith concern, and worship at Sunday Mass

INSTRUCTING THE IGNORANT​

Learn about our faith and be open to talking with others about our beliefs. There is always something more to discover about our faith.
  • Go on a service trip or short term mission trip. No time? Donate to support someone on their service trip
  • Volunteer to help with religious education programs at your parish
  • Invite someone to go to mass with you this weekend
  • Know your faith! Read through the [USCCA to find out more about the Catholic faith and how to live it

ADMONISHING THE SINNER​

Do not judge, but be supportive in helping others find their way and correct their mistakes. Together we can learn to walk more closely with Christ.![
  • In humility we must strive to create a culture that does not accept sin, while realizing that we all fall at times
  • Don’t judge, but guide others towards the path of salvation (see Mt 7:1-2)
  • When you correct someone, don’t be arrogant. We are all in need of God’s loving correction.
  • We should journey together to a deeper understanding of our shared faith
  • “Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye” ([Mt 7:5]
 
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