Grandpaents as childcare providers

[KendraDZ1902]

This is right. My husband has two adult children who are parents, and neither give me the “honorary title” of grandma. They don’t even introduce me to their children. they are just there to see grandpa. That breaks my heart. The little grandson I care for now, not knowing my name just started calling me “aunt”. He probably figures all women that care for him are aunts .

That’s terrible! :hug1:

 

[EasterJoy]

This is right. My husband has two adult children who are parents, and neither give me the “honorary title” of grandma. They don’t even introduce me to their children. they are just there to see grandpa. That breaks my heart. The little grandson I care for now, not knowing my name just started calling me “aunt”. He probably figures all women that care for him are aunts .

Your husband needs to realize that it is unkind to the point of cruelty to expect you to take on the burdens of being family without being given the place of a family member. He’s got some knitting together to do.

At present, my response to his request is, “You must be kidding. I’m a piece of furniture when they visit with their kids, and now I’m supposed to do 40 hours a week of free childcare…based on what relationship you’ve seen to it that I have with your daughter? Your children don’t treat me like family, let alone give me the place of a grandmother. What possessed you to think that would be a remotely decent thing to ask?”

He can call you Grandma Sammy or Sammy Stepgranny or whatever works for you, but obviously “Aunt” isn’t it. Besides, when he realizes what your real relationship is to him, he’s going to be embarrassed if he was allowed to remain in that mistake. You’re not his aunt. Talk to your husband and stepdaughter about teaching him a correct mode of address. Just “Sammy”, BTW, is just some unrelated “friend of the family” without much of an investment, not someone who does any free childcare!

Again: I know many families where the youngest aunts and uncles were about the same age as the oldest grandchildren. It is not something foreign to biological families! It used to happen all of the time. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!

 

[Xantippe]

“Your husband needs to realize that it is unkind to the point of cruelty to expect you to take on the burdens of being family without being given the place of a family member.”

Yes!

 

[GreyRabbit]

He’ll do anything to help her out so she will keep in touch with him.

In conjunction with the above advice, it seems to me that, no, HE’S not willing to do anything to help her out, but he sure is willing to have YOU do it.

I sure hope this all works out OP. >_<