Thank you all for your prayers brothers and sisters in Christ. Your spitiual advice and positive Catholic media is helping me understand the faith a little bit better. I managed to pray the Rosary again today so i am slowly but surely getting into a routine. Plus i have set up a picture of our Lord and a statue of Mother Mary in the centre of my room, so i can maintain focus on my spiritual duties.
Some of you have wondered if therapy would do me well, unfortunately i am taking a break from the doctor/hospital scene for a while because i was in and out of those systems last year. You see, I was homeless and i barely made it out alive, so right now i’m just glad to be off the streets and out of the hospitals wards.
I was thinking of getting into a real relationship with the Lord, i’ve always said the routine Catholic prayers which are great, and i’m sure i obtain many graces for those prayer, but i want to try to just talk to him, i mean become more vocal as if he was in the same room with me. I never spoke to the Lord with my own words much, because i am afraid of not making sense or end up saying gibberish. I don’t know if i’m making sense.
This morning i woke up on the wrong side of the bed (bad mood) and as i was laying there i just verbally said to Jesus “Help me please Lord, i’m having are hard time getting up.” and the moment i finished that sentence i felt like something entered my torso area…if was a very strange feeling, like a warm feeling, as if God was checking my body or soul like a mechanic would open the hood of a car to see what the problem is.
I still woke up like a zombie, but i got up, and made me think. I don’t know, i have to contemplate this, but i want to start verbally talking to him with my own words, basic stuff like “What should i do Lord?” “How should i go about solving this problem Lord?” small straight forward sentences so i don’t accidentally blaspheme or agitate him.
What do you guys think?
Thank you all for your advice and love and prayers, and keep me in your prayers please.