Greetings. New member in deep despair

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You seems to have a lot of negative thouths and worries, that weakens you and make you more susceptible to tentations. Since i experienced and still experience the same thing, what works for me is to abandon myself in the Hands of God, and repeating when negative thoughts come in mind : “Jesus i trust you”.
 
You do not know me, I am not Catholic, although I am Christian.
I needed to hear your words tonight. I"m in a very similar mood myself,
having failed to trust our Lord in hard circumstances.

You reminded me that I’m not the only one who fails, and the posts here
encouraging you have encouraged me. So I pray you take comfort in knowing
that you have helped me with your pain. I will pray for comfort and healing
and peace for you. God Bless.
 
St.Matthew said:
I prayed the rosary today but i got nothing out of it, no signal graces like the times i prayed in the past way back. Just the same feeling of hopelessness and despair. Am I expecting too much? Sometimes i am tempted to ask the Lord if he can reveal himself visually for me, give me a sign or some sort of embrace to let me know that there is hope for me but I believe this is a sin.
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That’s great that you are praying the rosary, at least some times. When I’m too distracted to pray it properly, I pray just a little, or simply hold it in my hand - as you seem to do.

In the couple of hours that I’ve been away from this I had the same thoughts as other here - that the Divine Mercy message could be of assistance.

I have this image on the wall in my bedroom.

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No matter what you may be feeling about God’s apparent absence, just keep saying “Jesus, I trust in you!” - as he has asked you to!

My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners…t is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy. ( Diary , 367) [What is Divine Mercy? Forms of Devotion | The Divine Mercy]
 
I totally get the trust issues. I used to have some serious ones too.

But if I have learnt one lesson from life until now, it it this : when you struggle, run for help.

Run for help to Christ, of course, and to Our Lady, but also to the good and holy people He gives us as companions on this road. Just sharing one’s burden to someone who listens with nothing but love and compassion can make it feel lighter already. When the Lord says, at the Creation, “It is not good for the man to be alone”, I think it means that too : most of us are not meant to go through life alone, without help and support from other human beings – even if we’re not married to them.

Good spiritual direction contributed to get me out of a pretty dark place. I will be forever grateful to the man who cornered me one day after church and who told me : “Look here, I may be old and stupid but I’m not blind. You’re drowning. Don’t stay alone. You have to talk to somebody about this.” He ended up being my SD for a good while (he was a deacon and a trained and skilled SD), and he taught me to trust others.
St.Matthew said:
man
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I’m a lady 😉
 
St.Matthew said:
I prayed the Rosary today, i got nothing, no signal graces
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I will warn you about the presupposition of always obtaining visible graces from the Rosary. It doesn’t always happen; sometimes you pray and the only grace you receive in that moment is a little time with God. Someone who believes through sight will no longer believe when they are blinded.

Life is a journey of humiliation and destruction of our pride. God is always finding ways to tell us that we need Him no matter what we think. You are in Gethsemane, friend. Your soul is hurting and you wish for relief. Pray to God in the emptiness and keep your eyes on Him. Keep your hope, always. Hell is for the hopeless. And finally, offer your cross to God. You are not, and never will be, perfect. Do not try to be, for you will be sorely disappointed. Instead, give your struggles to the Father who is perfect. He will make you strong.
 
Hi all, sorry for the late reply, i couldn’t reply back because i could only send a certain amount of posts due to my new account.

Thank you all for your heartfelt replies, i am deeply moved indeed. Casting my doubts aside, I managed to pray the divine mercy chaplet and the holy rosary today.

Even though my spiritual wounds are still tender, I am still open to advice, spiritual guidance and lessons from the saints that you may find are of use to me.

Please pray for me.
 
It’s just the devil, who likes to make people anxious, to worry, to become depressed, despondent, and to despair.

Say the St. Michael prayer when you wake up, at midday and when you go to bed. As soon as you have a temptation, cut it off; don’t let it linger in your mind; two seconds is too long. Say the Jesus prayer throughout the day. Always have a plan for your day; be busy with your duties and fill your mind with good books, good religious music, and always realize that the devil is after those who are not his. The devil has a method:

 
  1. Time to have a talk with Father outside of the confessional about possible spiritual attack.
  2. Quite possibly time to speak with doctor about what “may” be depression.
p.s. The same old sins? Do you want new sins to confess? When we confess the same old sins, what we are doing is revealing our cross. I believe that it was Saint Padre Pio who said: “God sends the crosses - we do not need to invent them”
 
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Something I find that helps me focus on my faith is by serving those whom Jesus would serve. Find a place where you can volunteer your time by preparing a meal or collecting food for a food bank. Find a pro life group that helps young moms. Drive people to mass that have no other way of getting there. Mentor troubled youth or coach a youth sports team. Christ asks us to serve, so find a way you can serve!
 
@TC2

God is so happy with us when we ask His forgiveness! You reminded me of the time Peter asked Christ how often we should forgive, 70? And Christ 70×70, not meaning 4900, but forever, because 7 is a special number that way.

Ask Him for forgiveness each time you fail in the struggle against sin, and ask Him for His help! Say, “I am sorry, Lord, I fell again… I need Your help, Your grace, please help me!”

And remember to pray in the throes of temptation as well!
 
I don’t have any words of wisdom, but I have prayed and will pray for you.

Here is a song that I hope might help to bring a bit of healing to you.

May God bless you always.

 
Perhaps you can speak to a therapist, but specifically a Catholic one who not only understands the details of your beliefs but accepts them as well.
 
Thank you all for your prayers brothers and sisters in Christ. Your spitiual advice and positive Catholic media is helping me understand the faith a little bit better. I managed to pray the Rosary again today so i am slowly but surely getting into a routine. Plus i have set up a picture of our Lord and a statue of Mother Mary in the centre of my room, so i can maintain focus on my spiritual duties.

Some of you have wondered if therapy would do me well, unfortunately i am taking a break from the doctor/hospital scene for a while because i was in and out of those systems last year. You see, I was homeless and i barely made it out alive, so right now i’m just glad to be off the streets and out of the hospitals wards.

I was thinking of getting into a real relationship with the Lord, i’ve always said the routine Catholic prayers which are great, and i’m sure i obtain many graces for those prayer, but i want to try to just talk to him, i mean become more vocal as if he was in the same room with me. I never spoke to the Lord with my own words much, because i am afraid of not making sense or end up saying gibberish. I don’t know if i’m making sense.

This morning i woke up on the wrong side of the bed (bad mood) and as i was laying there i just verbally said to Jesus “Help me please Lord, i’m having are hard time getting up.” and the moment i finished that sentence i felt like something entered my torso area…if was a very strange feeling, like a warm feeling, as if God was checking my body or soul like a mechanic would open the hood of a car to see what the problem is.

I still woke up like a zombie, but i got up, and made me think. I don’t know, i have to contemplate this, but i want to start verbally talking to him with my own words, basic stuff like “What should i do Lord?” “How should i go about solving this problem Lord?” small straight forward sentences so i don’t accidentally blaspheme or agitate him.

What do you guys think?

Thank you all for your advice and love and prayers, and keep me in your prayers please.
 
About half of my own prayers are ritual and half in my own words. Of the second type, some are routine “chat” such as "thank you lord for a good sleep” and more are a bit more urgent or desperate. I also say many quick prayers for others during the day, as a need comes to mind, such as praying for you right now! Well done surviving your homelessness troubles!
 
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The everlasting God has in His wisdom foreseen from eternity the cross that
He now presents to you as a gift from
His inmost heart.

This cross He now sends you He has considered with His all-knowing eyes, understood with His divine mind, tested with His wise justice, warmed with loving arms and weighed with His own hands to see that it be not one inch too large and not one ounce too heavy for you.

He has blessed it with His holy Name, anointed it with His consolation, taken one last glance at you and your courage, and then sent it to you from heaven, a special greeting from God to you, an alms of the all-merciful love of God.
  • St. Francis De Sales
 
St.Matthew said:
i want to start verbally talking to him with my own words, basic stuff like “What should i do Lord?” “How should i go about solving this problem Lord?” small straight forward sentences so i don’t accidentally blaspheme or agitate him.
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That sounds great! You will be keeping in touch with God throughout your day!
 
St. Matthew, I cut and paste that about the Cross God has picked out for you earlier because I was short on time.

As I sit here eating lunch I thought I would take a minute to express how I felt reading your original and first post. What I saw was myself that has also been in such despair. What I also saw was a side of you that is very inspiring. You may be discouraged and frustrated but you have more bite than a two headed pitbull. Your only frustrated because you love God so much you want perfection and when you can’t achieve it your upset. I got news for you brother… THAT’S TRUE LOVE FOR GOD! He sees that in you, and as much as you suffer now, the more you are going to rejoice when you are in heaven. God isn’t about to let someone as special as you slip through His Holy hands. You keep up the good fight, and if you ever need a good friend, a brother in Christ who hates Satan and has your back, I’ve been there done that, and I’m just a message away.

May the Lord especially embrace you and His perfect Mother wrap you in her mantle. You are going to be just fine!
 
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