Groups for Young Adult Catholics 18-30?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Melodeonist
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
ChunkMonk said:
40.png
Xanthippe_Voorhees:
Yeah, at 18-20 if a 30-35 hit on me I’d not return to the group again. Way creepy. 18 is a lifetime different than 30.
Click to expand...
Blue pilled.
Click to expand...
A 18-20 yo rejecting a 30-35yo is hardly bliss and ignorance. Infact, I’d say it’s greater awareness of the creep factor and inappropriatness.
 
If you’re in college or near that age, the Newman center is probably your best bet. Young Adult ministries (20s-30s) is definitely a weak spot in church ministry in my experience. If you’re in a city, try to find a parish in neighborhoods that have lots of young people, but otherwise the Catholic response seems to be go to youth group as a teen, maybe your Newman center in college, disappear for ~15-20 years and (speaking for men here), join the KOC once you’re older.
 
Never been in a parish that excluded anybody. You’re free to go to anything and participate. Just do it as the ad so famously says.
 
Have you talked to the Diocese to see what they have in place?
 
Not yet, but tha’ts actually an excellent idea! My spiritual director actually works for the Diocese as he’s the spiritual leader of our Newman Club so I’ll ask him when I see him tomorrow. 👍
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
A 18-20 yo rejecting a 30-35yo is hardly bliss and ignorance. Infact, I’d say it’s greater awareness of the creep factor and inappropriatness.
Click to expand...
Plus, the vast majority of the parents of 18-year-old girls feel exactly the same way, if not more so. If you look at the age differences between first marriages for men and women, the average age gap has been pretty small for a long time in the US.


Even in 1890 (128 years ago), the median groom was only 3.9 years older than the median bride. In 1950, it was 2.5 years. The bride and groom being close in age has been normal in the US for a long time.

I dated a 35-year-old guy when I was 19. A 19-year-old doesn’t have the appropriate life experience to evaluate a 35-year-old.
 
I don’t think there is a lot of deliberate exclusion but any group that meets during working hours will inevitably exclude most working age people. Adults with young families naturally put them first and don’t make a lot of time for young adult newcomers.

I’ll admit a lot of it is attitude, at 21 I just didn’t want to be part of any group where I was the only person my age. Young adults have spent most of their lives in age segregated education. In addition many are taught stranger danger, effectively this means treat any adult that isn’t family or a teacher like a potential threat, you don’t just shake this off at 18. It isn’t always easy for us to participate in groups where everyone is significantly older.
 
Well, that’s part of growing up though, isn’t it? Few people have a boss at work that is their same age, few people have mentors in college who are peers. There has to be a value put on being with all kinds of people, interacting appropriately with them, conversing with them, and learning from them, and sharing your own joys and youthfulness with them. MOst of the parish groups at our parish love it when a young person comes along, They tend to shepherd them, are charmed by them, and seek to help them in all kinds of ways: from introducing them to others, to finding them work or lending cars if needed.
Realizing that one can’t get what exactly they need right at the moment is part of being an adult, and learning to adjust.
Honestly, most of the young adult groups we’ve started fail because young married don’t want to hang out with young singles. that’s the long and short of it. The singles often can’t afford to meet elsewhere (pizza and drinks) and the young married can’t afford babysitting. So they do nothing but stand around awkwardly, and if one of the spouses doesn’t like it? Forget it. They stop coming. Many young singles in parishes are away at college too.
Sometimes you just have to decide you want to be part of a parish. You can do that by being an usher, joining St Vincent dePaul, Pro-Live committees, money counters, etc. There’s SO MUCH need.
 
At the same time 18yo’s need to get over themselves and their isolated experiences.

I was part of a young adult group in my older 20’s AND a mass reading group of “Aged out” singles AND part of a Bible study that met at the ungodly hour of 6:30 AM on Saturdays and was made up of people over 60 except for me…most 70 or 80. I have to say that was probably the most rewarding experience. I would say that I am still friends with them except for a majority has passed on.

Every group was the answer for me, and quite honestly I wish that we had far more involvement with older and wiser adults in the young adult group. The young adult group fell apart for the sole reason that it was a bunch of 20 yo who needed guidance.
 
There is nothing wrong with wanting a group of people in a similar life experience as you. We wouldn’t say women’s groups need to “get over themselves and their isolated experience.” (Or the knights of Columbus, groups for mothers, youth groups, or any number of groups that there may be.) A group like that can foster community and friendships, and really help people. If you’re in a group where everyone is your mother or grandmothers age, you can’t relate to them in the same way.

For reasons mentioned above, it can be difficult to have a young adult group, because within that there are so many different life experiences going on even at the same age. I think the key is to first start a group that is focused on the Bible or a Formed study. Let the social stuff happen naturally, that’s what’s more difficult. But once you have a group meeting for a purpose, better young adult ministry can build from there. And then if you have several young adults who know each other they can start participating in other parish activities together. (Because yes, they need to learn to become part of the parish community as a whole, and not stay isolated. But having a little bit of community first will really help.)
 
I don’t like how young people are over protected and age segregated (I will also readily admit I was a tad spoiled by the community at my university parish) but I don’t know how we best convince these young adults to stick with parishes where they feel they don’t belong.
 
I think it’s definitely good for a young adult group to interact and take part in other aspects of the parish.
 
Absolutely! Ideally young adults would be doing this anyway, but it’s hard when everything that you show up to, you’re the youngest by 30 years. It would be easier if you could meet some people in a young adult group first and then start becoming more active in the parish together.
 
That’s the thing. When I’m at my Parish’s Men’s Club or the KOC meetings we can only really connect on some basic stuff like sports and the weather. Young people are easier to connect with because we all share much more in common.

It’s pretty awkward when the old folks start talking about their medical problems and your just sitting there like “why am I even here lol”
 
Some diocese have offices of Young adult ministry. You might check your diocesan website.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
In addition many are taught stranger danger, effectively this means treat any adult that isn’t family or a teacher like a potential threat, you don’t just shake this off at 18.
Click to expand...
What? Who would teach a child such a twisted view of the world?
 
I’d say most millennials were taught not to speak to strangers. I mean I understand teaching kids not to get into cars with people they don’t know or taking sweets but it can create a barrier between people of different ages, probably also makes adults wary of interacting with children.
 
Honestly I was probably taught the same, but being naturally an ultra extrovert talking to literally everyone is ez pz. Nothing more fun that shootin the shaving cream with everyone and anyone lol 😂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top