Groups for Young Adult Catholics 18-30?

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casslean said:
My experience has been that we can’t keep “older” young adults engaged because they get grouped in with the “youth” (meaning teens) who are micromanaged by a group who plan and do everything for them. With no autonomy and (name removed by moderator)ut, the young adults drift away, as do the teens as they get older.
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True story:

After having met at the Newman Center at our college during grad school, husband and I started going to the young adult group at our new parish in the suburbs. The first meeting was a restaurant outing where (as I recall) the main conversation was Pampered Chef products. The second meeting was jack o’lantern carving for Halloween, which was a bit young for us.

We were 28 and 26 at the time, married several years, and we stopped going to the group. I feel like we gave it a fair shot.

We had a much better experience with our grad school Newman Center, which had a lot of good reading groups for grad students and young professionals (which stretched to include 40-something homeschoolers with kids). I met my future husband at one of the reading groups.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
I’m 27. There really aren’t that many people my age going to church anymore compared to the elderly. If there was a young adult group at my parish I guarantee that only four people would show up. At that point it’s not worth it

World youth day may have a lot of young adults in attendance but that’s from all over the world.
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Again, the draw for a young adult group does not reflect the makeup of the parish young adults. A number of young adults simply do not value a group of Catholic young adults. It’s easy to say everyone here does but that’s because we are the type to be drawn to a group of Catholics. My husband–and his friend–are fine and practicing Catholics but they don’t care to be in a Catholic group. I’ve met quite a few who feel this way.

I’ve told my story many times here. I met my husband on Catholic Match. I was 29 and looked 18. He was 27 and looked 40. We went to the same parish, the same Mass and the same TOT events. We never had ever thought of speaking to each other. Perception can be distorted.
 
DarkLight said:
Another thought: most people my age I know work jobs that aren’t 9-5 m-f. That’s going to make groups harder.
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Yes! This is one of the reasons that my friend with a child and I got so close. While some had traditional schedules we often did not…and she had a kid so that complicated things. We insitututed Friday night dinners and often missed YA events. She could not drag a 4yo to an event at 8pm on a Friday night and I had to be up for 6am to work on a Saturday. so going out from 8-11 was just a huge no.
 
TheLittleLady said:
As long as the group meets at a public business (restaurant, bar, bowling alley) there is not problem. When groups begin meeting in private homes, that is when there are guidelines that have to be followed even for adults.

We are Catholic. There is alcohol served at school bazaar, parish dinners, that is not an issue.
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What dioceses is this in? There are no restrictions like that for the 18+ crowd in my dioceses. The only real restrictions are homeowners who may not want the liability of advertizing their house for an event.
 
Xanthippe_Voorhees said:
Young adults need both autonomy and (name removed by moderator)ut AND guidance. Not giving them guidance is ridiculous.
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This.

I’d love to see clergy, especially, getting more involved with the young adult groups. I feel like there is a push to keep clergy engaged with the youth, but then it dwindles off with young adults. But it’s as a young adult, in my professional and personal life, when I could really benefit from having a relaxed, open atmosphere where I can talk with others about what it means to live as Catholics in the world with the guidance and (name removed by moderator)ut someone who has the insight and knowledge of what our faith is ACTUALLY asking of us.
 
TheLittleLady said:
I don’t share my location.
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Ok then. Safe Envoroment is pretty standard and it only applies to those under 18. You can find another dioceses that has similar rules but restricting what goes on in private homes of fully grown adults is a bit unbelievable.
 
If people do their own thing in their own homes, that is fine.

If the parish sponsors an event in someone’s home, there are rules that must be followed. Believe it or not, there have been adults who have made accusations and sued over inappropriate behavior. The rules are basic, good judgement, the same as one would use in business.
 
I can’t even begin to imagine what I would attempt with a 14-25 group, I mean at one end you have teens still at school (if my school days are anything to go by 14 year old boys aren’t typically very mature) alongside grown adults who may well be working, living independently and maybe married with kids.
 
TheLittleLady said:
If people do their own thing in their own homes, that is fine.

If the parish sponsors an event in someone’s home, there are rules that must be followed. Believe it or not, there have been adults who have made accusations and sued over inappropriate behavior. The rules are basic, good judgement, the same as one would use in business.
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People make accusations all the time. I think “parish sponsored” is a bit of a loose term…because it implies some sort of comitment by the parish wheras most YA things are like “I’m going to do a Bible Study at my apartment” and put it out on the YA facebook that’s not a part of the parish’s FB. Most people for liability reasons don’t want their address published in the bullitin–which is really the only way I can see it being sanctioned by the parish. Word of mouth is not “sponsored”
 
April29 said:
Well, good for you all 🙂
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I can only speak to what I know. In my area, you start to be really independent, and if you didn’t load yourself with college debt, pretty financially solvent between 25-30. The difference between a 25-30 and a 18-22, therefore, is incredibly huge.
 
I’m 29, so at the top end of what’s being called “young adult” here. Honestly, I have generally found more in common with those 10 years my senior, than those 10 years my junior. I’d feel a bit odd being lumped in the young adult group.

Part of it is, in the U.S., I think there’s a pretty big life stage break after college. The point where you start working more than part-time (or if part time, significant hours/multiple jobs), generally paying your own bills, that sort of thing, is a very big change. Many of my peers are married with children.

I joke that you can tell if you’re an adult by your response to a friend saying “I think I might be pregnant.” If the answer is “Oh good luck, I hope so!”, you’ve hit adulthood.

I think that also plays into the autonomy/guidance issue. Appropriate guidance for an 18 year old is pretty overbearing for a 28 year old. An 18 year old in college is also probably going to have a lot more flexible schedule, and is a lot less likely to have major responsibilities.
 
Yeah, that break is what I’m trying to talk about. There’s a huge difference between the life of a sub 23yo college student and that of a 25yo working adult. There is actually a pretty decent maturity difference between a non-college 18-22ish and those 25-30.

To be honest we HATED when we had the younger ones come to our group. Those who did attend college were SO opinionated and thought they knew it all (didn’t we all?) and those who didn’t attend college were often still trapped in highschool drama but also very quick to judge anything the college students had to say because “they just didn’t understand” because they went to college. It was just a mess.

They needed a lot of guidance and at 25, honestly, most of us did not have the patience to be that voice of reason. We needed people to help us, quite frankly.
 
DarkLight said:
I joke that you can tell if you’re an adult by your response to a friend saying “I think I might be pregnant.” If the answer is “Oh good luck, I hope so!”, you’ve hit adulthood.
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That’s hilarious!
 
18-30 is a varied group. For me it was when I was 26, married and living away from home that I felt comfortable joining an adult prayer group at my husbands church with adults of a variety of ages. My 25 year old, single, living with parents self wouldn’t have been.

It’s never going to work everywhere, an 18-30 group could well be dominated by those at a particular life stage and then not work so well for others. I still think 18-30 is better than 14-25
 
It might also be worth considering at what point age differentiation is useful, and at what point it isn’t. What are we looking for in a young adult group?

Children are kept together primarily because of the maturity difference between different ages. A 6 year old and a 10 year old obviously have very different needs. Management for adults is probably also part of it - since children need to be supervised, dividing them by age categories helps make sure the adults in charge know who’s supposed to be where.

Personally, I found age groups started to get frustrating in my mid teens. I wasn’t necessarily at the same place spiritually as they were aiming - in my case, because of the mixture of religious backgrounds meant the persistent repetition of basics. My general distaste for “things teens enjoy” didn’t help.

If you asked me, I’d consider myself “a working adult” as the most relevant life stage, over my actual age.
 
For me at 21 I was looking to join a group either at church or through meet up with people at the same life stage for mutual support, advice on job hunting, maybe even to meet some potential housemates to rent a place together.

I don’t think I was wrong to want this but it wasn’t realistic. There simply wasn’t many people nearby who fit that demographic.

On a practical level having some groups or volunteering opportunities that are practical for non-retired parishioners is a good start but I don’t think there is an easy way to attract and keep young adults (or anyone) who feel out of place and awkward.
 
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