Guidance on leaving the Catholic Church

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Take another exercise: Can you imagine one less bad bishop or abusive priest? Can you imagine one more?

Can you imagine 10 less? What about 10 more?

And what number, for you, proves it worthwhile to leave? Is there a percentage?

If it’s not about the number, then really consider: What is it about the Nature of the church that you find abhorrent? It can’t be the existence of the papacy, because that’s founded in Christ’s will. It can’t be the episcopacy, apostolic succession, or priesthood, because Christ founded those, too.
 
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Consider:

Jesus founded the apostolic ministry of the 12.

Judas founded the evil motive in his heart.

Are you upset with the Catholic Church because of the former or the latter? Really consider what you are upset with.
 
I think Judas, the betrayer of Christ, was one of the 12 for a reason. Even Jesus Himself could not avoid the evil of one of his small group of handpicked disciples. What this says to me is that (figuratively) one in twelve clergy will be a bad egg. This can easily apply to popes. When you read Church history there have been popes that have done terrible, terrible things. As they say, one of the marks of the Catholic Church being of supernatural origin is that it has survived this long, with its dogma intact, despite the people who run it. Your challenge will be to find any other religious home that can evince this.
 
Totum said:
I know this is upsetting for a lot of you but I don’t feel the church retains God’s blessings when it continues to be a vehicle for sin and tragedy. I can’t have the relationship I crave with Jesus or God through the church right now. I will reevaluate if things change. This is not a decision I reached easily or quickly. I understand now that I’m not going to get answers for finding a way forward with my husband here. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
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God bless you. It sounds like your husband and you are equally yoked and are looking to remain Christ followers despite struggling to remain in the Catholic Church. In making your decision, I only ask that you surrender your life to Christ who died on the cross for your sins. Consider a Catholic retreat.

I attend the Catholic Church because of the Eucharist. The Eucharist provides life. The sacrament of confession allows us to have surety that our sins will be forgiven if our genuine assent is what leads to the priest’s declaration of an absolution of our sins - something we don’t have simply by attempting to repent directly to God without this assurance. To repent is to turn away from sin; it doesn’t mean we stop making the same sin (any parent knows their kids will continue to disobey) but it does mean that we detest our sin and seek to stop our compulsion to it.

God allowed EVERYONE to exercise their freewill. Our freewill still doesn’t allow the gates of hell to prevail against the church. The sex abuse scandals are ONLY ONE aspect of where the church has sinned and it is by fallen men than joined the priesthood and religious life. There isn’t a perfect church out there. There are different trappings to each church. But the Catholic Church is the church founded by Jesus whereas the Protestant faiths are churches that came out from a schism with the Catholic Church. There is not a Christian church out there, including the non-denominational church, that is guaranteed to be free from sex scandal nor is there any guarantee that it won’t be covered up.
 
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You bring up an interesting point. I have always been of the mind that homosexuality is naturally occurring and not sinful so that is a Catholic belief I don’t fully support. I also have some conflicting views on some other theology. My parents are extremely devout Catholics but are also moderately liberal and have always disagreed with some of the churches theologies when it comes to the interpretation by clergy and so some level of disagreement is normal to me. Maybe it’s not supposed to be? I do believe in the Eucharist and the power of confession. It bothers me that women don’t have a voice in the Catholic Church, especially with the problems the Catholic church is now facing.
 
Totum said:
This is hard to write. I grew up Catholic but chose not to get Confirmed. When I was in my mid-twenties, I met a man who is now my husband. We both wanted to find a church we felt comfortable in. We tried several including a Catholic Church. We started attending Catholic Church regularly and when we got engaged, we spent dozens of hours in marital counseling with a wonderful priest and I credit those discussions with facilitating what has become a healthy and strong marriage. My husband and I decided to take RCIA and the next Easter, I was confirmed and he received the sacraments of Baptism, First Communion and Confirmation. We have been devout Catholics since it pains me to say that I can no longer remain part of the Catholic religion due to the sexual abuse and cover-up by the Catholic Church. It started bothering me almost 2 years ago and I’ve been waiting for the Catholic Church to make drastic reform and at least cast out all abusers and those involved in the cover up but the number of abusers still receiving payouts and health insurance from the church and then Pope Francis refusing the resignation of Cardinal Barbarin after he was convicted in the cover-up was too much. The fact that the money we contribute to the church goes towards cover-ups and supporting abusers is not ok with me. However, I’m sure that’s been discussed ad nauseam and that’s not what I need guidance on. I need to discuss this decision with my husband tonight and while he knows I’ve struggled with this topic, my decision to leave the church will shock and hurt him. I’m trying to figure out a suggestion for how to move forward from here. I won’t force him to abandon his religion but I need him to respect my stance. I’d like to find another Christian denomination that is similar to Catholicism and I would prefer my husband convert if he’s willing because religion is too important to be divided on. Especially since we have young kids. It breaks my heart that there’s no way to continue being Catholic without the Catholic Institution. Any suggestions for a way forward in this situation are welcome. I’m guessing other people have come to a similar conclusion as me so I’m hoping you have guidance.
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I don’t think any practicing Catholics here are going to give you much advice on leaving the Church. Besides, it’s pretty straightforward on what to do. Hundreds of millions of baptized Christians in the world are non-practicing or have moved around denominations.

Whatever you do and wherever you go, you will find sin. You can run from it, but even if you left your family and became a hermit and were by yourself, you would find it within you. You could leave religion entirely and try to find relief in secularism, but it would be there waiting for you also. There is no escape from it in this world.

I hope you change your mind in the near future. God loves you.

Peace.
 
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Totum said:
I do believe in the Eucharist and the power of confession. It bothers me that women don’t have a voice in the Catholic Church, especially with the problems the Catholic church is now facing.
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The Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Christ.

Women have a say in the Church; the church is God’s bride. The first person to find that Jesus was resurrected was Mary Magdalene. The reason why priests are male is because the 12 apostles were male. That doesn’t mean that women aren’t important.
 
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Irishmom2 said:
Where else will you go to belong to the church that Jesus began? Where will you receive the Eucharist as body, blood, soul and divinity?

No where.
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The Eastern Orthodox Churches and the Oriental Orthodox Churches have Sacraments which are recognized by the Roman Catholic Church as valid. They also allow a married priesthood.
 
While you are correct, they don’t have the fullness of the truth that resides within the Roman Church. Nevertheless, I applaud you for mentioning.
 
I think the Catholic Church values and loves women but that’s not the same thing as having a voice or power.
 
There’s a homily on YT given by a priest named Fr. Jonathon Meyer. It really helped influence my decision to return to the Church, despite the fact there are many bad priests. Please, please watch it with an open mind.

 
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Totum said:
I think the Catholic Church values and loves women but that’s not the same thing as having a voice or power.
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Not all Protestant churches believe in a female pastor either. Only some do, such as Episcopal, Methodist, Lutheran. Always try to see why there aren’t woman pastors in the Catholic Church.
 
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To be honest, I left the church because of those three reasons (plus a bit more).

Unfortunately the way the Catholic Church is set up, it’s an all or nothing sorta deal. You gotta believe in it all or else you’re not part of the Church.

It’s a bit too binary for me, and Episcopalianism allows for a ton of leeway in theological interpretations.
 
This same issue happens in all churches and religions. Just google the southern baptist church scandals as an example. So catholic, Protestant, orthodox, Muslim etc, there is no escaping it. It may be easier to ignore elsewhere since it won’t be as publicized but if anything, a predator has an easier time hiding in an independent church/parish with no central authority. By leaving you are just throwing out the baby with the bath water. The “baby” being the Eucharist and the only Church that Jesus established here on Earth.
 
That doesn’t make sense to me because it seems like everybody agrees that the clergy and church leadership can be sinful and flawed so how can you expect their interpretation of God’s word to be perfect? I’ve always felt like there was some room for differences with the Catholic Church as long as you are in line with the sacraments and the big stuff. I guess that doesn’t matter much now but I think I’ll look into the Episcopal Church.
 
Totum said:
It breaks my heart that there’s no way to continue being Catholic without the Catholic Institution. Any suggestions for a way forward in this situation are welcome.
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Most Catholics stay with the Church, not officially joining another church over smaller matters, even bigger ones. Some here on CAF curl their lip and refer to them as ‘cafeteria Catholics’ 😲

But here’s the thing, whether you join another church or just stop practicing Catholicism, you’re still Catholic. So, in either scenario you’re still committing grave sin 😃.

So if you cannot stand the Church anymore but still need to get your Christianity on…which Christian denomination is best? IDK, I haven’t joined a different Christian church despite the fact that I’m not entirely satisfied with the Church. I think the Catholic Church is the best option there is.
 
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If you loved baseball and loved going to baseball games, would you quit going if you found out that men became coaches to gain access to young boys? That evil men realized they could take a position of trust and pick out vulnerable boys while hiding their inclinations? Would that change how you felt about baseball?

We need holy men and women in the church. Holy families. Good examples. This is our time to shine. This is our time to repair what has been broken down and stepped on. We really need holy men who kneel and pray, who go to receive communion reverently, who stand in line to go to confession, who serve their families and parish. Don’t take that from your husband or from the people who would most benefit from his strong example. Let him shine if you chose not to. I would hope though that you would shine with him. This is our time to make an impact for good. This is within our reach, and it’s today.

God strengthen you today.
 
PennyinCanada said:
Would that change how you felt about baseball?
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I think this might be a bad example because I’ve never thought of it that way, and if it happened with regularity, and the owners and managers helped cover it up? Yes, I can totally see myself never wanting to see a baseball again.
 
If the authorities in charge of Major League Baseball did that and then covered it up and continued to allow coaches to get away with it, I would absolutely boycott baseball. Or I would look for a team or League to support that doesn’t have that history.
 
It was pointed out to me just this past week that Jesus called Judas to be his disciple. We are all sinners - this is why God sent His Son to die for us - everyone - not just you or me. Are you willing to sacrifice your soul because of the sin of others? Jesus told us it would not be easy, but the reward of heaven will be given to those who remain faithful.
 
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