Guidance on leaving the Catholic Church

[JanetF]

We need holy men and women in the church. Holy families. Good examples. This is our time to shine. This is our time to repair what has been broken down and stepped on. We really need holy men who kneel and pray, who go to receive communion reverently, who stand in line to go to confession, who serve their families and parish. Don’t take that from your husband or from the people who would most benefit from his strong example. Let him shine if you chose not to. I would hope though that you would shine with him. This is our time to make an impact for good. This is within our reach, and it’s today.

God strengthen you today.

And we have a winner! I can’t emphasize enough how much I agree with this comment (except for the baseball part, as I can’t bring myself to compare catholicism to baseball)

 

[TheLittleLady]

Thing is, every “denomination” has had abuse. All of them. They do not get the press, and many of them do not have a central authority so the abusers can easily move from town to town, congregation to congregation.

This is not an excuse, it is a fact. You will not find a denomination where there has been zero abuse.

Schools, Universities, Scouting Groups, it is a human problem.

Some reading

http://stopbaptistpredators.org/index.htm

http://stopbaptistpredators.org/other_faith_groups.html

 

[Cruciferi]

I can no longer remain part of the Catholic religion due to the sexual abuse and cover-up by the Catholic Church.

Remember why you went through RCIA. You’re a Catholic for God. Humanity is imperfect and will disappoint you. God Will Not.

I would prefer my husband convert if he’s willing because religion is too important to be divided on. Especially since we have young kids.

Technically the responsibility of raising the children in the Catholic Faith would fall to him. So, that’s not really an option.

Any suggestions for a way forward in this situation are welcome

You and your husband should both speak with your Parish Priest ASAP.

 

[1ke]

The fact that the money we contribute to the church goes towards cover-ups and supporting abusers is not ok with me.

I would suggest you find facts instead of assumptions here. Because in my parish $0 dollars have gone to payouts or “coverups” and in my diocese $0 have gone to either, and we haven’t had any abuse allegations there either.

So, it is likely your money is NOT going to any such thing.

Yes, it is disappointing when people fail us. But the Church never fails us. And people fail us in many contexts. Do not walk away from the Sacraments. Do not think you will find any church that is above scandal and failings. The Houston Chronicle just did an expose on sexual abuse in the Southern Baptist Church and the ensuing “coverup”. This is a human condition.

We should expect better of our leaders, but it should not shake our faith in Christ or his Church when people fall.

 

[awesomecatholic]

I’m not yet Catholic but will be soon. Humanity is not perfect. At least Pope Francis is trying to do something about it. The Catholic church will give you everything you need. I know it’s hard. It disgusts me too. But I think you should stay Catholic. God Bless you and I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[Scott84]

You should never leave the Church because of the errors made by humans. The Church Herself is Divine. But the people in it not so much. The Catholic Church makes headlines, but what about the public school system that is infested with sex abusers also?

When the news broke about the sex abuse last summer the archdiocese asked the government “will you also look into the sex abusers in the public school system?” The government said “no, that’s not in our interests.” Talk about hypocrisy huh?

You can’t excuse what has been happening in the Holy Mother Church. But when things are bad with the clergy, it is often the most devout lay people who stand firm and hold down the Faith. Eventually the clergy will get the message and clam up.

When we go to Mass, we go to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, no other Church has that! Also, we should be in the Church for Jesus Christ, and nothing else!

If you must, then do not give a single more dime of your money to your diocese until they get it together. Maybe also write a strongly worded letter to your bishop about what is happening and explain your stance. But by all means, if you support your parish, continue to tithe there to help keep it going.

“Don’t leave the Church, be the Church.”

To quote Saint Peter when everyone walked away: “But Lord, to whom where will we go?” And where else can you go, except to Jesus and to the Church He established.

Remember Our Lord promised the gates of hell shall not prevail against the Church. The Church has dealt with its adversities over the centuries, but the Church has always pulled through and stood the test of time! That alone should tell you the Catholic Church Herself is Divine.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

However, if you agree with the doctrine of the Church (Eucharistic theology, priestly powers, solely heterosexual marriage, etc.), you should probably stay. It’s the only institution out there that can give you what you believe.

I hope you realize that many of us who have doubts or question these areas stay in the Church because it is where Jesus Christ truly is.
I’m not going to quit a church over a moral teaching, especially one that has zero direct effect on my own life. (I’m not gay, I’m not divorced wanting to remarry, I don’t need to masturbate, I don’t feel that I as a woman dont have enough “voice” etc.) I’m not Martin Luther or John Wesley and I don’t want to be.

I’d rather be with Jesus praying, “Lord, either help my unbelief or correct your Church, whichever is your will” than at some church up the street without Jesus in the Real Presence that agrees with some of my personal views - no church will ever agree with ALL my views unless I started The Church of Tis Bearself, which I refuse to do because that would be a slap in Jesus’ face.

It’s not about finding some church that agrees with your views. It’s very sad that some people think that’s all a church is.

 

[Fauken]

so how can you expect their interpretation of God’s word to be perfect?

If the Unabomber, who was a math professor and killed people with explosives, told you 2 + 2 = 4, does that suddenly make 2 + 2 no longer equal to four? Why should the sinfulness of clergy who haven’t even been alive for a century affect teachings with origins we can trace from two millennia ago?

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Not to mention that a huge amount of interpretation on which we rely has come from saints who were definitely NOT living sinful lives on earth, or if they were, they repented like St. Augustine. The Doctors of the Church weren’t corrupt, and a number of them were early enough that they provided the foundations for pretty much all of Christianity, not just Catholics.

 

[LateranBasilica]

If all the good and faithful servants of the Church, and thus of Christ, left the Church, what and whom would be left, but the wicked evilness of the great adversary.

 

[Scott84]

One other thing to remember, no other church has any authority to administer the sacraments. And what is a sacrament? It is a visible sign of grace instituted by Christ.

If you receive communion at an Episcopal Church you are only eating bread and wine (or grape juice), and not the Body and Blood of Our Lord.

Sadly if you do leave the Holy Mother Church over the sins of the people within it, that tells me your faith is more in the people of the Church, and not in Christ Himself.

Remember, only Christ established the Catholic Church. All other churches were founded by men and their egos.

 

[Scott84]

That is absolutely correct! Religion is not a smorgasbord where we get to pick and choose a religion because it lines up with our own personal beliefs, or even our own sinful lifestyle.

There is only one God-willed religion, and that is Christianity in the Catholic Church.

 

[stpiosson]

Don’t abandon Jesus because of Judas.

 

[Scott84]

By the way, the Episcopal Church is not without its own problems and scandals:

Bishops lament and confess the church’s role in sexual harassment, exploitation and abuse – Episcopal News Service

 

[Matthew25]

You ask an honest question and have expressed the sorrow you experience. So I’m going to give an answer and am ready to be vilified for it. If you must leave, check out the Episcopal Church. Prayers for your family. I know this is a very hard situation. God bless.

 

[Gorgias]

We have been devout Catholics since it pains me to say that I can no longer remain part of the Catholic religion due to the sexual abuse and cover-up by the Catholic Church.

So, you would abandon a belief system that you value, just because there are sinners in the Church?

It started bothering me almost 2 years ago and I’ve been waiting for the Catholic Church to make drastic reform and at least cast out all abusers and those involved in the cover up

I guess it all depends on what you mean by “cast out.” Priests and bishops aren’t merely employees who can be fired. At their ordination, there are reciprocal promises and responsibilities that are established between them and their bishop.

but the number of abusers still receiving payouts and health insurance from the church

The Church has a certain level of obligation to its clerics, even if they cease performing ministry. If someone gets fired from their job due to misconduct, would they lose their 401(k)? Would they lose the company match from their retirement fund?

On the other hand, the relationship between bishop and priest is more like “father and son” than “employer and employee.” Would your child cease being your child if he committed a crime? Would you abandon him without means of support? These are the kinds of difficulties involved in the present situation.

and then Pope Francis refusing the resignation of Cardinal Barbarin after he was convicted in the cover-up was too much.

Give it time. That story isn’t complete yet. Refusing his resignation, I’m guessing, is a sign that there’s repercussions yet to come…

I’d like to find another Christian denomination that is similar to Catholicism

It wouldn’t have the Eucharist. Is that not an important part of your belief?

Any suggestions for a way forward in this situation are welcome.

Would you consider stepping away from active practice, for a time, in order to allow yourself the opportunity to attempt to make a decision that’s not in the heat of the moment?

 

[Delphinus]

Leaving the church for another won’t stop you from having your heart broken. Protestant churches have just as much scandal, it’s just not as big in the news. I left a Protestant church to be Catholic for ideological reasons, but I was involved with leadership and saw plenty of scandal. Pastors who cheated on their wives, embezzlement, pastors involved with multiple female parishoners, and a youth leader in the very youth group I attended at the time was sexually involved with a girl 2 years younger than me ( I was 17).

You will see these scandals no matter where you go. I promise. Peace can only be found in following CHRIST. not man. If you follow men, you’ll be let down every time. I can say that none of the scandals in encountered shook me. I went to Catholicism because I was hungry for God…and I was not disappointed.

 

[tomo_pomo]

Being Catholic is very hard, very hard for human.
Following Jesus is very hard, very hard for human.
To Forgive is Divine.
To pray for your enemy is Divine.
If you were watching Jesus being spit on and humiliated would you cry and pray or would you say “Is THIS the SON OF GOD!! I’m going to Caiaphas…”
Jesus didn’t promise you enjoyment here on earth, He promised war and suffering.
You think Priests are Holy all by themselves?
Priest and people are the Body of Church, the Body of Christ. People be Holy so the whole body is Holy!
Stay, accept this Cross Our Lord has prepared for you, in order so you may resist the devil and become Holy yourself!
Stay, pray and cry and pray

Our Lord and our God