Guys being approached by girls

[duskyjewel]

The only times I ever pursued guys, they ran like gazelles! Now, I was not very popular as a teenager, so that may have had something to do with it… but going after the guy never worked for me.

But in all fairness, I have to say that most of the guys who pursued me were losers too. The one who really persisted though, who was determined to get my attention, really turned out to be worth it, though. I married him. But that was after years of making sure he was worthy of me, and of the responsibility for my children.

So I guess, in my experience, a girl pursuing a guy doesn’t work. But, since I have been with my husband since I was 17, take my limited perspective for what it’s worth. I really know little about seeking out dates as a full-fledged adult.

 

[Sierrah]

Great…I know of few couples that can start out that young and make it work… You deserve a lot of credit for being brave enough to commit at that again…:

 

[Cadence]

My son reports that he is continuously approached by young women who are after one thing only. He is very disgusted with today’s young women. He thinks they are pigs. He is in his early twenties.

I am disgusted at any young man who would describe young women as pigs. They may be behaving in an unladylike manner but by calling them pigs he is not much better. I certainly wouldn’t date a man who refered to any women that way.

 

[dulcissima]

That’s kind of what happened between my bf and me… we talked for a few weeks over MSN and phone (living a few hours-drive apart), then mutually realized that we REALLY liked each other, and then he got me to ask him if I loved him, so he could tell me that he did. I, of course, replied the same, and we’ve been together for 2 years and 3 months now. ^^ I count him as having initiated it, because I never would have had the courage to ask him if he hadn’t been guiding me very gently towards asking, knowing exactly what I wanted to ask, and he wanting me to ask it. Confusing, I know, but it worked. ^^

Did you meet over the internet, and if so had you spent any time together in person before realizing that you were in love?

 

[JadensMom]

I guess I’m the one woman here who pursued her man and got him!

I remember it like yesterday – that swing club. A classic swing threesome with upright bass playing.

And the handsomest man in the room also appeared to be the shyest. He was sitting there tapping his feet, and getting absolutely NO attention from any woman there.

So I asked him to dance. At the end of the evening, he asked me to dinner.

Two years later, he asked me to marry him, and now we’ve got the cutest little angel of a son you could imagine.

~Jaden(name removed by moderator)

 

[actorgirl]

I have. I have no problem with it. There was a post about doing it in a respectable way. Well that kinda goes for both sides. You should always be respectable regardless of gender.

Did these work out. That depend on the definition of working out. It didn’t end in marriage. But neither did the men I dated who asked ME out. Well except my hubby.

But personally, I would not want to be with a man who didn’t think women should ask men out…

 

[ASimpleSinner]

A girl asked me if I wanted to attend Mass with her once.

To my way of thinking, that is the single best Catholic way to go about it.

I catch a lot of flack for this, but to my way of thinking, “dating” American style isn’t very Catholic-friendly. When it comes to “approaching” someone in a bar, nightclub, whichever… That doesn’t seem to lend itself to the begining of a relationship that allows for discearning marriage all that often.

I could be wrong. I am still single.

 

[Grace283]

i’ve approached guys because: 1. my friends asked me to do it for them and 2. because at the moment i was bold enough…

 

[chevalier]

I catch a lot of flack for this, but to my way of thinking, “dating” American style isn’t very Catholic-friendly.

Oh yes, here’s a kevlar suit for you, hehe. I completely agree and will say so ad nausaeam.

I could be wrong. I am still single.

Who knows… Perhaps your alternative approach is less successful. Personally, I’m single as well, but couldn’t really get myself to that kind of dating since ends do not justify means and that kind of dating just can’t get along with my philosophy.

 

[Katie1723]

Reminds me when my BF and I first met. We both worked at the same place. He in the lab and I in Maternity. We met when my shift was finished and he was on his lunch break. Towards the end I found myself thinking “He hasn’t asked me for my phone number”. So I took matters in my hands …got up said “I better get going”. Wrote my number on a piece of paper. Said “call me”. He did and the rest as they say is history.
Kathy

 

[GraceDK]

Buffalo.
Your kid, as it seems, has not been raised well.
Calling women a pigs… Is being sexually active perhaps a sin whereas calling other people pigs and resenting them is not?
You ought to raise your kid with the love of Christ. If some people in our socities are living in sin they are really to be pitied, loved and evanglised by us… not being held down in the gutter because of some arrogant youth who only makes matters worse.
I am a christian woman and have met many men who were extremely liberal in their sexual behaviour and they were atheists… yet I have never been expected to give them something, maybe because they could tell from my dress and my talk that I was a Christian… if your son is always running into people who mistakingly thinks he is willing to sleep with them maybe he ought to look for another kind of appearence and friends-group. Does the fact that many people in my culture live lives that are sinful make me call them pigs… never! that would only testify against my self and eventually harm the Gospel…
what arrogance… what hardheartedness … you better teach your son that if he is any good himself it is all due to the Blood/grace of Christ.
That you wanna display your son’s disrespect for fellowbeings puzzles me… but maybe you think I am out of line… But then so be it.

 

[buffalo]

Buffalo.
Your kid, as it seems, has not been raised well.
Calling women a pigs… Is being sexually active perhaps a sin whereas calling other people pigs and resenting them is not?
You ought to raise your kid with the love of Christ. If some people in our socities are living in sin they are really to be pitied, loved and evanglised by us… not being held down in the gutter because of some arrogant youth who only makes matters worse.
I am a christian woman and have met many men who were extremely liberal in their sexual behaviour and they were atheists… yet I have never been expected to give them something, maybe because they could tell from my dress and my talk that I was a Christian… if your son is always running into people who mistakingly thinks he is willing to sleep with them maybe he ought to look for another kind of appearence and friends-group. Does the fact that many people in my culture live lives that are sinful make me call them pigs… never! that would only testify against my self and eventually harm the Gospel…
what arrogance… what hardheartedness … you better teach your son that if he is any good himself it is all due to the Blood/grace of Christ.
That you wanna display your son’s disrespect for fellowbeings puzzles me… but maybe you think I am out of line… But then so be it.

Well I did raise him right and was a good example to his mother. His experience with young women who come up to him and ask for sex is well, piggish.(if you prefer we can use slut or whore) Sorry , but that’s the way I see it.

He was just venting to us one day about it because he was discouraged. He is seeking a good moral woman.

 

[Annibc]

To Buffalo
“slut, whore, pig.” I wonder what is going on in your mind! There is a saying that goes: people who says wrong things, think in wrong ways. You probably think of yourself as a pious catholic, but nobody is fooled by outer appearence if there is no love in your heart. Would you call call your own son or daughter these words if they had a wrong idea of sex. Actually you probably would, and they would resent you for it. Only love heals, thats why the world needs Jesus Christ. My advice is you should look to Him, look into His eyes and see what they see when He looks at sinners…For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3.23) … but God demonstrates His love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us (Romans 5.8)

 

[GraceDK]

Buffalo…I just hoped you were about to admit that it is not cool when you said “piggish” which for a moment seems to be a moderating word… since there is a huge difference between a person (created in the image and likeness of God, loved by Jesus Christ) and that persons behaviour which may be animallike due to various reasons (let me state a few: weakness, lack of love and searching for it in wrong ways, lack of selfrespect, being manipulated by society into thinking something is cool and enjoyable, and last but not least, a bunch of christians calling other people pigs while they are sitting in little hidden groups patting each others shoulders… It disgusts me…
you wanna tell me how many young women your son has made believers of Christ or how many he, full of charity, warned against their lifestyle of death???.. tell me that! how many did YOU convert… not many I suppose … for like Mother Teresa said: “If you judge me, you have no time to love me”.
As far as I am concerned, there is a new day for every person, and you and your son, if you say you believe, will treat people like Jesus did. what did He say; he said: “Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more”. Next time your son calls a woman a pig you can tell him: “The one who calls his brother/sister raka/pig shall be condemned to the fires of hell.” the Lord said that so dont you forget it.
You see, I live in the most horrible secular society on the earth. My fellow country men indulge in sex, pornography, alcohol and abortions. These people are beloved by God… beloved… they are ill and in need of a doctor. They are unhappy and empty … many us here have been there… experienced an earlier life in these sins, many of us have due to the culture been tempted and have fallen… and many of us have, in effect become humble. Its not the things you did or did not do that gets you a ticket to heaven… its the love you have in your heart.

Like Jason Evert said when he’d talked to a woman who had slept with numerous guys: He said: “This girl was not a slut … I dont care if she slept with a hundred men.” he said that because upon looking into this dearly beloveds eyes he saw emptyness and despair. she was looking for love. she was hurting and in the arms of a guy she felt relieved and appreciated for just a moment. Sick? you bet… welcome to the modern world.
You wanna call young sexually active women whores and sluts. tell me then: have you ever loved a whore? no… I guess not… otherwise you would know that when you love someone there is only that person… not a liar, a fornicator, a drinker, a boaster… just a sinner like everyone else.
The little Teresa once said something like this: “sexual sin is lower on the scale of the death sins… these sins often bring great humility later… at the top of the list however is pride…”… just something to meditate on.
I hope you grow in love and humility.

 

[holly_potter]

It happens a lot to me. Till they see the ring. I am not that great looking but I wear kilts. Kilts are chick magnets.

are they really? I had heard about this kilt store, and how a few guys decide to “liberate” themeselves…but I never really thought anybody would wear them daily…

now, if they had kilts for women in stores, I’d buy them! I’m part scottish (among many other nationalities). And plus I just like plaid.

 

[Magickman]

To start out, I am a guy. Have been a guy for many years, decades even.

Back when I was young and foolish, (Now I am no longer young)
it was really quite rare for the girls to approach the guys.

Today, it is a different story. Now, when it is too late, the girls approach me all the time.

The ruse that these young women use, is usually to tell me how much they like my boots or my manicure, or to tell me how cute I am.

But I am not fooled. Nor am I cute. I am just a guy, with nicely shined boots, and the vanity to obtain professional manicures.

These women are usually much younger than me, and rather brazen. Many of them want just one thing… that I am not about to give them.

Even though I zealously protect my virtue, it is still pleasant to be
approached by attractive young women, or girls, if you please.

 

[Norseman82]

I have been approached - even “stalked” (yeah, that freaked me out a bit) - by women. Some were just desperate, and one told me flat out - “you work in IT - you must make a lot of money” (and just so you know, this was someone who “picked” me out of the crowd at the social after the monthly young adult Mass in Chicago!).

Also, Buffalo has a point. And IMHO, if we resurrected the old stigmas, maybe people would think twice before being promiscuous.

Is being sexually active perhaps a sin whereas calling other people pigs and resenting them is not?

That’s correct in some cases. As one priest said at a talk recently, sometimes you have to call a spade a spade. If anyone is offended by blunt talk, then you had better throw out your Bible. St. Paul called Cretans liars, beasts, and lazy gluttons (Titus 1:12); are you going to chew him out, too?

 

[chevalier]

These women are usually much younger than me, and rather brazen. Many of them want just one thing… that I am not about to give them.

Even though I zealously protect my virtue, it is still pleasant to be
approached by attractive young women, or girls, if you please.

Even if they want sex and want not even to give it easily but practically obtain it from you? When women act that way, I think it’s sad more than pleasing, even if it could otherwise do a thing for our egos. When I see a woman behaving that way, I can’t help mourning one more off the field.

I have been approached - even “stalked” (yeah, that freaked me out a bit) - by women. Some were just desperate, and one told me flat out - “you work in IT - you must make a lot of money” (and just so you know, this was someone who “picked” me out of the crowd at the social after the monthly young adult Mass in Chicago!).

Depending on the way it was said, it could have been some kind of compliment or expression of being awed or intimidated by your position, don’t you think? If it had been, you would have sensed it, however, I guess.

 

[Norseman82]

Depending on the way it was said, it could have been some kind of compliment or expression of being awed or intimidated by your position, don’t you think? If it had been, you would have sensed it, however, I guess.

Here in the USA, there is a term for a woman who looks at a man for his money: “gold digger”.

 

[Los_Angeles]

As a man myself, The man needs to go up to the woman if he is interested in her 99% percent of the time, to the best of my knowledge, IMHO.

If there have ever been any successful Christian marriages otherwise, I would be glad to hear it.

If anything I have said is against the Catholic Church, let it be anathema.