Guys: How to talk to a guy

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Which common definition of platonic are you referring to:
1 : love conceived by Plato as ascending from passion for the individual to contemplation of the universal and ideal
2 : a close relationship between two persons in which sexual desire is nonexistent or has been suppressed or sublimated
The trouble with “platonic” is that it refers to a kind of love which is not sexual, or does not find sexual fruition, but is nonetheless a male-female affair in which the gender is relevant.
 
Jay2 Quote:
Geez - the girl sees a guy she finds “cute”, and seeks advise about how to start a conversation with him… and Greek philosophies come forth… Nerd Alert, Nerd Alert.
So I’ll say that “dating” is necessary. I’ll also say that having someone that doesn’t hurt to look at is a definite plus.
It seems to be suggested that we regress to “arranged marriages” where we auction off our children to suitable & like-minded prospects… and forget that attraction (and toss a little lust in there) is an essential part of a healthy bond between man & woman.
Having a #2 “Platonic” marital relationship goes against the natural order of things. (Sounds to me like Plato wasn’t “getting any” and he’s PO’d )
Very funny, you made me laugh so hard.
In 7 days we’ll be celebrating 19 years of marriage together… all started because of a physical attraction… but cured & cemented by belief, compromise, and understanding. (and even at 45 years & two children later my wife’s still a “babe” )
i am very happy for you, she is very blessed. Happy Anniversary!

Chyna
 
chevalier Quote:
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Like for instance, some people here has suggested i go on-line dating. Some people at work say the same, yet i am still on the fence about that.
You can’t have an on-line relationship indefinitely and it’s not always prudent at any stage anyway. I would suggest using the Internet as a contact platform rather than an environment. The complications are so severe, I would suggest only pursuing that kind of relationship if you’re in love already, not seeking one.
Sorry, my fault. What i meant to say, they suggest that i go to an on-line singles site, meaning Catholic Match, Match.com.
Admittedly, it’s more of a guy thing, since we’re the ones supposed to make the first move.
So, if i did go on something like, Catholic Singles, what does that say about me? Am i not letting the gentlemen find me, i am seeking him. Don’t you think that is too forward of me? Kind of what you said above…

Chyna
 
I actaully was at a bar watching a baseball game with a girlfriend of mine. These two guys came over and seat across from us. We started talking and they said what are you girls doing. I said “watching the baseball game”. He said “Girls don’t know baseball”. He then proceeded to buy drinks for us. I declined his drink and made him drink it. Shortly they left. how can guys think that insulting a women is going to work as a pick-up line?
You could have turned the tables and showed them you know more about it than they do…that would have been funny!
 
Sorry, my fault. What i meant to say, they suggest that i go to an on-line singles site, meaning Catholic Match, Match.com.

So, if i did go on something like, Catholic Singles, what does that say about me? Am i not letting the gentlemen find me, i am seeking him. Don’t you think that is too forward of me? Kind of what you said above…

Chyna
Well. It does say you’re available, for sure, but in olden days people would paint their houses blue to show that there were untaken misses inside. 😉 There’s no religious commandment that you shouldn’t approach a guy you like, anyway. Societal norms come from some form of tradition developed in some connection with religious and moral norms, but not all societal norms have religious or moral significance. On the other hand, contact is often initiated by women - men make the first overt step but only after receiving some signals from women first. You can always make it so that the guy shows the initiative, but you let him know it’s welcome and you feel the same in his direction.
 
Here’s an update:

Today I did two things with Mr. Attractive: I said hi, asked about his weekend was and how old he is. I found out that he’s four years younger than me and doesn’t drink. I asked him out for lunch but he had to work. 😦 I said “Maybe some other time” and he said “Yeah.” So there’s possibly for more interaction. Next time I’m gonna ask him about his work. He hasn’t really asked me any questions, but then again this is the second time we’ve interacted. Maybe if I say notice him by saying hi. He’ll do the same. What do you think, boys?!?

Interacting with Mr. Attractive is getting alot easier. The butterflies and beating heart are still there, but I just pretend that I’m a confident nice woman without a care in the world. I had some practice over the weekend at a wedding. There I met a family friend and personal acquintance of mine whom will now be called Z. We’ve known each other for years. We’d exchange numbers over Christmas, but never really got into contact with each other. It was like we were both waiting for the other to make the first move. Anyway, I chatted with him the whole night and told him I’d call him. How long should I wait to call him?

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement!!!🙂
 
I must admit I’m a bit lost. Are you approaching two guys now, the four years younger Mr Attractive and the professional Z?

Don’t think me a wet blanket, but I’d be careful about a guy four years younger or a girl four years older. Especially if attraction alone seems to be the major basis. And especially if you’re attracted to multiple people, I’d be careful and generally watch my steps. 😉
 
I must admit I’m a bit lost. Are you approaching two guys now, the four years younger Mr Attractive and the professional Z?

Don’t think me a wet blanket, but I’d be careful about a guy four years younger or a girl four years older. Especially if attraction alone seems to be the major basis. And especially if you’re attracted to multiple people, I’d be careful and generally watch my steps. 😉
Chevalier, Mr. Attractive is the reason for this thread. He’s the one that’s four years younger. Z is 2-3 years older than me. I have more in common with Z. He’s more a cross between friend and acquintance while Mr. Attractive is soley attraction while I’m trying to get to know him better. Between Z and Mr. Attractive, Z has the most relationship potiential. Does that help? I’m dense here: Why should I be careful about a guy that’s four years younger? Does it have something to do with maturity?
 
Now that he knows that you’re interested, maybe now you can wait and see if HE will ask YOU out to lunch.
Here’s an update:

I asked him out for lunch but he had to work. 😦 I said “Maybe some other time” and he said “Yeah.” So there’s possibly for more interaction.
 
Chevalier, Mr. Attractive is the reason for this thread. He’s the one that’s four years younger. Z is 2-3 years older than me. I have more in common with Z. He’s more a cross between friend and acquintance while Mr. Attractive is soley attraction while I’m trying to get to know him better. Between Z and Mr. Attractive, Z has the most relationship potiential. Does that help? I’m dense here: Why should I be careful about a guy that’s four years younger? Does it have something to do with maturity?
Yes, it does, as well as with the fact that the man is supposed to be the head of the family, which would be hard if the woman were more mature than he is. 😉
 
Yes, it does, as well as with the fact that the man is supposed to be the head of the family, which would be hard if the woman were more mature than he is. 😉
It mostly depends on the guy too. guys younger than you will most likely not be as mature and may not be in the same area committment. Like you may be thinking marriage and he may be thinking dating for a good time because he still has to start his career etc…
 
I’d wait on “Mr. A” several days and see if he summons the nerve to ask you “What about that lunch you talked about?”

As far as “Z” goes, give it until Weds… and remember it’s a holiday weekend coming up… so he may already have plans, so it won’t be a lame-o excuse if this weekend is out.
 
chevalier Quote:
Well. It does say you’re available, for sure, but in olden days people would paint their houses blue to show that there were untaken misses inside.
Is that why my house is blue, my name plate on my car is blue, i wear blue, hmm i love blue! :doh2:

[SIGN]Hello 👋 [/SIGN]
 
Awwwh pooh!:ouch: Mine are brown! Well thats it! i’ll have to get contacts! 😉
 
Girls far underestimate the power they have on guys. There’s nothing worse than a girl who is pretty and knows it! 🙂

As a side note, it is often generalized thusly: women are more relational, men are more physical. Surely. But don’t think that men are purely physical creatures either (not that you were). As a man, I’ve always found it flattering to know that a girl was interested in me. This, of course, is universal-- we all have egos and think highly of anyone who thinks highly of ourselves. 🙂

Btw, experience is definitely the best teacher. Unfortunately, just like riding a bike, one has to fall and skin one’s knees before success. 🙂
 
Now that he knows that you’re interested, maybe now you can wait and see if HE will ask YOU out to lunch.
He knows, eh? Just cause she said hi to him? Goodness, then I must be quite to looker, from all the "hi"s I get. Or gals must be really desperate:(
 
No, she didn’t just say “hi” to him. She asked him out on a lunch date too.
He knows, eh? Just cause she said hi to him? Goodness, then I must be quite to looker, from all the "hi"s I get. Or gals must be really desperate:(
 
No, she didn’t just say “hi” to him. She asked him out on a lunch date too.
Pah! Cause she’s HUNGRY! She’s meddling with the simple minded fool to get a free meal! Smart girl. Poor guy.
 
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