Guys, if you could be married and a priest would you?

[Reesey]

My next question would be, are there Catholic women out there who’d be lining up to marry priests?

Even in the early centuries when the Church did ordain married men, priests were not permitted to marry AFTER ordination. If a married priest’s wife died, he was not permitted to marry someone else. That is the case even today both in the Eastern Catholic rites and in the Orthodox churches. So even IF the Latin Rite starts once again ordaining married men, it’s highly unlikely they will allow marriages after ordination.

 

[Teek]

I found this to be the best description of the Church’s history of priestly celebacy and the reasons for it. You can skip the article part at the beginning and go right down to the actual letter from cardinal Meisner.

http://chiesa.espresso.repubblica.it/articolo/1350847bdc4.html?eng=y&refresh_ce

 

[Vonsalza]

…and the Protestant pastors’ families not infrequently struggle in various ways.

As do all young families, generally. We all tend to “make it”.

Google “pastor’s kid” for much, much more.

LOL, no need. Let me introduce you to all my old prot-seminary pals. About half of 'em had preacher-dads.

Frankly, their experiences were extremely similar to those of other kids I knew with parents that had very demanding jobs. Always off working, doing this, doing that, ect.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

It seems to me it would be better to have a requirement that married candidates would have to be married for some minimum amount of time (let’s say 5 years) before they applied for the priesthood. By then, they’d have a better handle on the demands of being a husband and father, and the marriage would hopefully be on a firm ground too.

Having a young couple cope with the demands of new marriage and a guy becoming a priest with all that entails, all at once, seems like a tall order.

Edited to add, before somebody says it’s just like helping your husband get through law school, med school etc, well to some extent maybe because there will be a lot of hard work and sacrifice. However, those types of professions are going to offer the woman a reward later in terms of being the wife of a successful man with more disposable income and goodies for her and her family. Being the wife of a priest may command respect, but unless your husband manages to work his way up to Bishop or something, you likely won’t have much income and you’ll be called upon to give of yourself forever. The seminary and early priesthood is just the beginning and it never lets up.

 

[anikins]

My next question would be, are there Catholic women out there who’d be lining up to marry priests?

Yes.

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[vsedriver]

Doesnt matter what you disagree with jas, the Catholic Church is a Monarchy.

Doesn’t matter if anyone in the past was married or not. An don’t you even consider suggesting that Jesus may have had romantic feelings for Mary Magdalen

You are right, The Catholic Church is a monarchy. Jesus is the King, the Pope is his Prime Minister.

A celibate ministerial priesthood is a discipline of the Church. It was put in place for the benefit of all the members of the Church. Scripture also supports it. A man can’t serve two masters. You can’t serve the church and your family. A married man’s vocation is to his wife and children. An ordained priest’s vocation is to the church. A man can marry a woman or he can marry the church. Exceptions have been allowed since this is only a discipline of the church.

Marriage is not easy and neither is a celibate life. Each has joys and sorrows.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

Honestly, yes, I would.

To be clear, I think the Church is 100% correct to have it set up the way she does. It allows the priest to focus on his flock and provide the best care to them possible. It’s the best way to have it set up imo, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

That being said, I would love to have the faculty to forgive people of their sins. The Eucharist is the source and summit, but reconciliation is how we become freed from the death caused by our sins. I know that’s not all that goes into the priesthood, but I would love to be able to essentially operate as a Deacon, while also being able to perform the sacrament of reconciliation for people.

 

[babochka]

It is morally permissible to have secular priests who are married.

The Church has always had them and she still does have them.

The Latin Church just needs to modify her discipline to conform with the Eastern Catholic Churches.

Of course, it is morally permissible and for anyone to imply otherwise is ridiculous.

Having said that, I don’t believe that the Latin Church should modify her discipline, any more than the Eastern Churches should modify theirs.

Each tradition stands on its own merits and has its own drawbacks. There are practical drawbacks to having married priests. There are practical drawbacks to having celibate priests. This discussion has mostly revolved around practical matters, but the decision should ultimately be based on spiritual reasons, not practical.

 

[babochka]

Is this not also a consideration with the married diaconate?

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

Is this not also a consideration with the married diaconate?

It would be different as most diaconate programs require that the decon’s children be more or less grown. For instance, my dioceses only allows for men to start formation after their youngest child has completed 8th grade–meaning that in an 3 year program, by the time they are a decon they will have only one, or no, minors in the house.

They also require a TON of work and cooperation from the wife, which, if a marriage was not going well, would be really obvious to the teachers.

 

[babochka]

But it could still happen. And since this thread is dealing with improbable scenarios - a parishioner is dying at the exact same moment that the priest’s wife is having a baby, a priest’s kid is in danger in the Emergency Room at the exact same moment that he is supposed to be at a wedding - it seems reasonable to consider that it could happen. My husband is 50 and I’m 48. We’ve been married for 16 years and have 6 children, the youngest of whom is 2 years old. It could happen.

 

[babochka]

This did happen in my Lutheran Church. It’s difficult to invite just the pastor over for dinner or just the pastor to a family party and not feel the need to invite his wife and children, too.

And why not invite the wife and children, too? Or just the wife if it is not a family-friendly event.

Also, a lot of times the priest’s own family and parishioners will provide him with what he needs (i.e. gift cards, clothes, and other simple things). What do you do if it’s a family along with the priest?

People do the same thing with a married priest. My pastor has been given gifts of stays in vacation homes for his family. Sometimes a gift is given to include the family, sometimes it is personal.

People may be questioning why the wife doesn’t work, etc. etc.

People need to mind their own business.

 

[babochka]

Yes…which is why celibate priests are a better option.

There’s also the theological aspect to this. That celibacy is following most closely the life of Christ and therefore is a higher calling in life than anything else.
And those who answer that call and live it well recieve a richer reward in heaven.

Btw…even the Orthodox have this belief to an extent.

Of course this idea exists. In Eastern Christianity, the call to celibacy is still important; it is lived out in the monastic life.

 

[babochka]

Tis_Bearself:

Would priests’ kids get free Catholic school too?

As far as spending others’ money, it’s the same with a government employee. They’re spending taxpayers’ money

Spending money that isn’t really their own? That doesn’t make sense. They are paid a salary and can do with it what they will, just as a celibate priest receives a salary and can spend as he chooses.

Do you scrutinize the lifestyle of your garbage man or police officers? Do you wonder about the spending choice of the grocery clerk where you shop? Their salary also comes out of your pocket.

 

[Duesenberg]

Global statistics.

There are over 400,000 Catholic Priests on our little blue speck.

Yet there are not even 50,000 Deacons.

The numbers are even worse if you only count permanent Deacons and not transitional.

IMO, there should be 2 Deacons for every 1 Priest - or at least one Deacon for each Priest - so if that’s the case, we need hundreds of thousands more Deacons.

Yet the USA alone has upwards of 38K of those permanent deacons. IMO, there should be enough priests so permanent deacons are not even needed – much like in the Diocese of Lincoln, Nebraska.

This notion of a “worker-priest” was tried in the mid-20th-century… and it failed pretty spectacularly.

MANY priests – both Catholic and Orthodox hold successfully hold down jobs. From university instructors to the owners of landscaping businesses.

 

[babochka]

Well quite a few of them had girlfriends or even fiancees before discerning the priesthood as their vocation so I don’t know if it was " a call to celibacy led to priesthood" as much as “a call to the priesthood led to celibacy.”

Perhaps I’m viewing this through an Eastern lens. In the East, the call to marriage or to celibacy is the primary call; a call to the priesthood is discerned after that.

I would feel beyond betrayed if a priest ever refused to come to the aid of a dying loved one because his wife or kids.

And what if a celibate priest refused to come because it was his day off and he wasn’t on call? Or what if he wanted to finish his golf game first and didn’t make it in time. It happens. And I’ve never known a married priest refuse to come to the bedside of a dying parishioner because of his wife and kids. I’ve seen just the opposite. On the other hand, I know a particular married priest who is constantly called by the hospital to the bedside of Latin Rite Catholics because the hospital can’t reach the Latin Rite priest on call and they know that this married priest will drop everything to be there.

If it couldn’t be helped for logistical reasons, fine, but if my loved one potentially was damned for all eternity because the priest was busy having sex with his wife that would be pretty horrible.

Frankly, that’s offensive and shows a complete lack of respect for the many holy married priests who have sacrificed so much to serve the church.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Do you scrutinize the lifestyle of your garbage man or police officers? Do you wonder about the spending choice of the grocery clerk where you shop? Their salary also comes out of your pocket.

The trash man, cop and grocery clerk are not asking me for donations every week or month. The Church is not set up to just levy a tax or a membership fee on people who want to join, out of which would come the priest’s salary and if I thought it was too much maybe I could opt to instead join the parish of celibate Father Jones a mile away who only needs half as much salary because he doesn’t have a wife and two kids.

In a parish where everybody had lots of money, maybe not a problem, but in one like where I grew up where people are mostly working to lower middle class, it would be an issue, and people would indeed expect the priest’s wife to be working and bringing in money.

 

[Duesenberg]

One of the things that I have always desired is that the USCCB mandated a formation process for DRE’s and Youth directors similar to that of permanent deacons. A process where psychological testing plays a role along with discernment of the community (the discernment of the people of the parish) whether to hire and accept the DRE/Youth director. My current priest uses a term called kingdoms. Meaning some people who work for the church have serious issues with power and authority and set up their own little dominions/kingdoms and rule over them.

I cannot agree more. From my experience these “kingdoms” are 90% “queendoms.” They really do a number on many parishes.

 

[dconklin]

No way. A priest is married to the Church. He devotes himself entirely to serving God and the Church: his family in Christ.

This is my feeling on it too. I am on staff at a large parish. I have a very full time job in my ministry, but I can go home at night and have to deal with it. Our three priests cannot. It would not be fair to my family. I work very hard keeping my job to a 40 hour a week job.

 

[Duesenberg]

Well, you CAN be married and a priest.

You just have to switch rituals over to one of the Eastern Catholic Churches who are in full communion with the Apostolic See.

You would be rejected if you switched to one of the EC churches in order to be married and a priest. That’s not a valid reason to switch church affiliations.