Had an embarrassing moment at mass. Need help

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Hello,
I’m starting RCIA classes this Tuesday. I have been interested in Catholicism for at least 18 years now. I’ll have to write about that later.

Anyhow, I had a very embarrassing moment this morning during mass. It’s eating at me, too. For the last three months I’ve been sitting in the back pews. It’s relatively empty in the back. This Sunday it was packed. So I was surrounded by folks.

When we got to the Our Father I started to grab another person’s hand, a woman’s hand. Everyone else was holding hands and I followed. I wasn’t thinking. I was wrapped up in the moment. It’s just when I sitting in the back pews I didn’t really have anyone to hold hands with. Let’s just say this didn’t go over well. I was embarrassed. My heart sank. Honestly, at that moment I didn’t think I should show my face there again.

After mass, when everyone was leaving I sincerely apologized.

Am I overreacting? I left mass feeling miserable. 😦
Brian
 
Holding hands is the norm these days. You did nothing wrong. I choose do it the traditional way and hold my hands in prayer. Either way is fine.

She might be used to the traditional way, and wasn’t used to the modern way. She shouldn’t of made you feel uncomfortable though, wasn’t very charitable of her.
 
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It was an innocent mistake. Stop thinking about it. I’m by no means a hand-holder and refuse to do it, but I’ve never been offended by someone who tried to take my hand during the Our Father. This woman may not have liked that you tried, but she’s probably not even thinking about it at this point.
 
that is cringy and embarrassing, but nothing more nothing less. An nothing to lose sleep over.
 
travelbug said:
Hello,
I’m starting RCIA classes this Tuesday. …After mass, when everyone was leaving I sincerely apologized.

Am I overreacting? I left mass feeling miserable. 😦
Brian
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You did right in apologizing. If the person is a good Christian, you have been forgiven. I’ve done something like that in the past. I held the persons hand next to me. I didn’t realize that my grip was very firm and the poor lady was in agony.

I was mortified. But I apologized and I believe all is forgiven.

So, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Welcome home!
 
Thank you! I guess I’ll just chalk it up to being a newbie. I’ll stick with the more traditional approach next time. It might save me from more embarrassment.
 
Another good reason to abolish this practice that just “popped” and was never a posture of the Church. I myself have had my arm nearly sprained by some eager person who tried to grab my hand from behind me.
I feel bad for you. You didn’t know. IT’s fine, let it go. No one will ever mention it.
But this is precisely why the hand-holding is a terrible idea.
 
Live and learn. Don’t agonize over it. You’re fine.
 
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I for one, do not really care for the "hand holding’ as a sign of peace. I never know where that persons’ hand has been. Occassionally Father will tell us to forego the sign of peace due to the flu or some other illness. That is just fine by me, but I would not refuse someone this gesture or embarrass that person. I’ve seen people get up out of their pews and run about shaking other peoples’ hands. This is very distracting to me. Smile, nod your head, hold hands in prayer, but let ME decide if I wanna do that sign of peace. Peace.
 
travelbug said:
I was embarrassed. My heart sank. Honestly, at that moment I didn’t think I should show my face there again.
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Don’t feel bad at all. I am not a fan of the hand holding. But this wasn’t some grave transgression.
 
Around here hand holding used to be a big thing and then someone said it wasn’t really a sanctioned part of the Mass so people stopped holding hands… (Some thought it was an extra way of spreading germs anyway…) Well, some people still try to hold hands and if they do and you want to go ahead. If they don’t, that’s ok, too! I just hold my hands folded or holding the missilette unless someone reaches out … Some people don’t like to shake hands as showing a sign of peace either. Maybe they have a cold or don’t want to get a cold… God made all kinds and it takes all kinds to have us as a community… I’d say let it go. Glad you are going to stick around any way…!
 
Newbie oldie midlie. It can happen to anyone. Don’t worry about it.

@Petra22 ditto.
 
I hate hate HATE the hand holding during the “Our Father”

My husband feels the same way. So we have “prayer hands” and bow our heads. Or wrestle the toddler now that that’s an option.

When we went to one mass an Autistic young man sat next to us. It was quite clear he was there without a caregiver and was not exactly well -behaved.

He grabbed my hand and would not let go.

I offered it up. He had no way of knowing I did not like it, and he did not have the capacity to notice my discomfort.

Sometimes, we have awkward things happen. Don’t take it too seriously. You apologized. It was an honest mistake.
 
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I have never been to a Mass where the people held hands during the Our Father, also, I wouldn’t hold anyones if they reached out.

But if everyone in the church was doing it and you grabbed that woman’s? Good on you, and she ought to understand the circumstance. God Bless you, and keep on your journey.

P.S. Don’t feel obligated to do anything like that.
 
I wouldn’t hold anyone’s hand. Yuck! Leave me alone and crusty.
 
When you are not sure, just hold your open hand out palm up, if they choose to hold it they will, if not, no harm has been done! Don’t grab their hand, several do that at my church, and it can be a little awkward - especially the time I had a badly sprained index finger!
 
I too distrust alcohol as a remedy. I have a method, I think: heard that our own germs prevail, so I make sure after shaking hands at sign of peace, to make contact of index finger and thumb with a part of left hand that has my own germs. Receive host in middle of left hand, use thumb & index of right hand to consume. (tmi?😬)
 
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