Hair, Jewellery and Make Up

[Anglewannabe]

She didn’t say anything about fashion, much less slavery. She said color your hair and wear makeup.

The harsh truth is, you talk a lot on these boards ablut being single and wishing that wasn’t the case. It’s not offensive to gently remind someone in your situation that it might behoove them to put some effort into being sexually attractive.

I tend to agree with EasterJoy though that being married is no excuse either. I’m still in my 20’s and already some of my married/committed peers are letting themselves go. It’s a recipe for disaster if you ask me.

Saying ‘If a woman is single she should dye her hair’ is implying once she is married she can let herself go ie stop dying her hair. Therefor, telling a single woman she has more of an obligation to look good than a married woman is saying she is lower class than a married woman.

And please point out the posts where I said I wish I was married. I am quite happy being single, my complaint is all the rude comments people make and the way society does not accept singles. There is a difference between wanting society to accept me as a single and wanting a husband

 

[EasterJoy]

Saying ‘If a woman is single she should dye her hair’ is implying once she is married she can let herself go ie stop dying her hair. Therefor, telling a single woman she has more of an obligation to look good than a married woman is saying she is lower class than a married woman.

And please point out the posts where I said I wish I was married. I am quite happy being single, my complaint is all the rude comments people make and the way society does not accept singles. There is a difference between wanting society to accept me as a single and wanting a husband

Well, not exactly. For instance, a married woman who used to dye her hair might make her decision primarily on whether her husband likes her hair dyed or not. If anything, the married woman is given less room to spend money on herself and tends to be relegated to the “lower class” of choosing clothing based on how washable it is.

There is an unfortunate prejudice that says unmarried women should take more care about their looks, if only because they have more time and money to spend on themselves.

 

[lax16]

Why?

That’s a good question.

First of all, I would be lying to them if I said looks don’t matter. Of course they do.
Our appearance causes a reaction in other people, one way or another. That’s also why modesty is so important.

Second of all, they feel more confident when they look their best. Looking their best can mean vaseline on the lips and a ponytail or hair styled and a full face of make-up. It depends on the situation.

Finally, they are interested in the opposite sex and want to be seen as attractive.

 

[lax16]

Saying ‘If a woman is single she should dye her hair’ is implying once she is married she can let herself go ie stop dying her hair. Therefor, telling a single woman she has more of an obligation to look good than a married woman is saying she is lower class than a married woman.

And please point out the posts where I said I wish I was married. I am quite happy being single, my complaint is all the rude comments people make and the way society does not accept singles. There is a difference between wanting society to accept me as a single and wanting a husband

Here is my post:

*I can see stream-lining one’s beauty routine for convenience and cost purposes.

However, if I were single, I would not streamline too much. Not sure if you are single, but if so, I would keep coloring my hair and wearing make-up. Jewelry not necessary.*

You asked for advice and I gave it. I have no idea why this is offensive to you or how you would insinuate married women no longer need to color their hair. I am married and I color my hair.

You said my post means “A married woman is lower class than a single woman”. This is so ridiculous I don’t even know how to respond.

Look, you asked for advice and I gave it. You don’t have to take it. Next time you ask for advice maybe you should ask it of only the people that will agree with you.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Saying ‘If a woman is single she should dye her hair’ is implying once she is married she can let herself go ie stop dying her hair. Therefor, telling a single woman she has more of an obligation to look good than a married woman is saying she is lower class than a married woman.

And please point out the posts where I said I wish I was married. I am quite happy being single, my complaint is all the rude comments people make and the way society does not accept singles. There is a difference between wanting society to accept me as a single and wanting a husband

Uh…well, now you’re just getting defensive. One, I explicitly said that I was firmly against married women letting themselves go. Two, I also explicitly said that it would be in your own best interests to dress up a little, not that it was an obligation.

Of course it would be to your benefit if you are hoping to meet someone to dress up a bit. Not only to be more attractive, but because women who color their hair and wear makeup look more open to being approached and small talk than women who don’t.

 

[Della]

I’ve seen many make-over shows in which a gal who has either let her looks go because of family obligations, or one who is hiding from the world by looking dowdy came to life and self-assurance when her hair was done, proper make-up applied and clothes that enhance her figure were done for her. The transformations were like night and day. They were able to engage better with others and no longer felt like they didn’t matter to anyone. A bit of self-confidence isn’t a bad thing–especially when evading others behind plainness or even oddness only isolates these gals from others and makes them crawl into their shells. If it helps them get out and interact with people, helps them get or maintain jobs and helps them realize that they are important, then I’m all for it.

 

[Rosebud77]

I’ve seen many make-over shows in which a gal who has either let her looks go because of family obligations, or one who is hiding from the world by looking dowdy came to life and self-assurance when her hair was done, proper make-up applied and clothes that enhance her figure were done for her. The transformations were like night and day. They were able to engage better with others and no longer felt like they didn’t matter to anyone. A bit of self-confidence isn’t a bad thing–especially when evading others behind plainness or even oddness only isolates these gals from others and makes them crawl into their shells. If it helps them get out and interact with people, helps them get or maintain jobs and helps them realize that they are important, then I’m all for it.

But most of us do not need that . Therapy is grand if you need it… A shell too can be a cosy and comfoerting place; right nwo I woudl value a cosy hole…

 

[Della]

But most of us do not need that . Therapy is grand if you need it… A shell too can be a cosy and comfoerting place; right nwo I woudl value a cosy hole…

I live in a “cozy hole” most of the time, but I force myself to get out with other people now and then, because it’s healthy for me and I can be of service to others. And you’d be surprised how many people would love a make-over by professionals. I wouldn’t sniff at the opportunity, myself–not because I’m in dire need of it, but because it never hurts to hear from someone else, especially someone trained in helping others fulfill their potential, what would aid my appearance. In fact, it sounds like it’d be a lot of fun–I’d love to give it a whirl, if I could afford it.

 

[Bonnie]

IAnd you’d be surprised how many people would love a make-over by professionals.

Not something I’d care for, but I’d sure like to learn how to do things with my hair. I can’t afford to get it done it done at a salon.

 

[pianistclare]

My daughters are estheticians. People BEG them to make them over. Not everyone goes for makeup, but those who want to use it often are apprehensive because they don’t know much about it, don’t know which products are a waste of time, and want someone who really knows to steer them away from high priced junk and toward those things that are worth investing in. Everywhere they go, they have people ask how much they charge for a makeover, or how much they charge for special events.
Rebecca has so many people following her on YouTube that the makeup companies send her samples to review. And she gets to keep everything.
No shame in asking for help. Even it it’s a simple as what lip gloss is OK for the office to what kind of lipstick can I use at my wedding that won’t rub off on everyone and everything.

Wearing makeup doesn’t make you a mindless twit. Nor does it make you desperate or non-religious.


If it’s not fun, don’t do it. And if it is, and makes you happy, good for you!
But it’s no one’s business except your own.

 

[Bonnie]

My own post got me to thinking, what a great ministry it would be to offer help every so often to the ladies of the parish. I know that kind of help is offered to homeless people, and low-income people looking for jobs. But there’s not much for those of us living in genteel poverty - too much money to be homeless, but not enough to be able to go to the beauty parlor.

 

[pianistclare]

My own post got me to thinking, what a great ministry it would be to offer help every so often to the ladies of the parish. I know that kind of help is offered to homeless people, and low-income people looking for jobs. But there’s not much for those of us living in genteel poverty - too much money to be homeless, but not enough to be able to go to the beauty parlor.

yup. A Mexican hairdresser does it all the time.
And an attorney offers to do will at no charge,
And the Knights have a committee called “We Can Help” for widowers who can’t afford home fixit guys
It’s a great idea for anyone with a special talent.
Not everyone has to do “churchy” stuff. So long as you do something for others.

 

[Sarcelle]

My own post got me to thinking, what a great ministry it would be to offer help every so often to the ladies of the parish. I know that kind of help is offered to homeless people, and low-income people looking for jobs. But there’s not much for those of us living in genteel poverty - too much money to be homeless, but not enough to be able to go to the beauty parlor.

Going to the beauty parlor is one of the luxuries that I enjoy.

I’m quite hopeless when it comes to fixing my hair and I like the cuts they give me. Stylish but not too high maintenance.

Now speaking of makeup, can anyone recommend a good mascara?

 

[DeniseNY]

Going to the beauty parlor is one of the luxuries that I enjoy.

I’m quite hopeless when it comes to fixing my hair and I like the cuts they give me. Stylish but not too high maintenance.

Now speaking of makeup, can anyone recommend a good mascara?

I’m a mascara junkie, and I currently have three favorites:

It Cosmetics Hello Lashes 5-in-1 Mascara

Kat von D Immortal Lash

NYX Cosmetics The Skinny Mascara

I usually use one of the first two and then top it off with the NYX mascara.

 

[Sarcelle]

I’m a mascara junkie, and I currently have three favorites:

It Cosmetics Hello Lashes 5-in-1 Mascara

Kat von D Immortal Lash

NYX Cosmetics The Skinny Mascara

I usually use one of the first two and then top it off with the NYX mascara.

Thank you.

Have you by chance tried Tarte’s Lights, Camera, Lashes?

 

[pianistclare]

Kat Von D’s is AMAZING. Blackest.

 

[Anglewannabe]

Well, not exactly. For instance, a married woman who used to dye her hair might make her decision primarily on whether her husband likes her hair dyed or not…

As much as I am all for women thinking of their husbands preference, I can’t help but think the ultimate decisions rests with the woman

If anything, the married woman is given less room to spend money on herself and tends to be relegated to the “lower class” of choosing clothing based on how washable it is…

Umm… I might agree a married woman with kids has less money. However, I can’t help but think if I was married, my mortgage would be cut in half and I would have more money. Also, I would probably be living in a house with my own washing machine and have more space to hang stuff to dry. Not in an apartment with a laundry room

There is an unfortunate prejudice that says unmarried women should take more care about their looks, if only because they have more time and money to spend on themselves.

Again, if a married woman does not have kid, she has a husband to help with things and has more time than the single woman

 

[Anglewannabe]

Here is my post:

*I can see stream-lining one’s beauty routine for convenience and cost purposes.

However, if I were single, I would not streamline too much. Not sure if you are single, but if so, I would keep coloring my hair and wearing make-up. Jewelry not necessary.*

You asked for advice and I gave it. I have no idea why this is offensive to you or how you would insinuate married women no longer need to color their hair. I am married and I color my hair.

You said my post means “A married woman is lower class than a single woman”. This is so ridiculous I don’t even know how to respond.

Look, you asked for advice and I gave it. You don’t have to take it. Next time you ask for advice maybe you should ask it of only the people that will agree with you.

I never asked for advice. I asked women to share if their views and use of hair, makeup and jewellery had changed as they got older or if as they grew close to the Lord. I did NOT ask for advice.

 

[Anglewannabe]

That’s a good question.

First of all, I would be lying to them if I said looks don’t matter. Of course they do.
Our appearance causes a reaction in other people, one way or another. That’s also why modesty is so important…

yes, our looks do affect how people judge us, but I don’t think dying ones hair has anything to do with modesty. For that matter, I don’t think hair died, grey, long, short has anything to do with modesty.

Second of all, they feel more confident when they look their best. Looking their best can mean vaseline on the lips and a ponytail or hair styled and a full face of make-up. It depends on the situation…

Whose is to say once my hair is grey it won’t look good?

Finally, they are interested in the opposite sex and want to be seen as attractive.

If your daughters said ‘Mom, I want to look attractive to men’ and you suggested they dye the grey out of their hair, that would be one thing. But NO where in my post did I say I wanted to look good to men. As mentioned before, I was simply asking women to share about whether or not their beauty routine changed over the years. How my OP got turned into advice for attracting the opposite sex is beyond me. Which is why it is so offensive. I never asked for advice

 

[Anglewannabe]

Uh…well, now you’re just getting defensive. One, I explicitly said that I was firmly against married women letting themselves go. Two, I also explicitly said that it would be in your own best interests to dress up a little, not that it was an obligation.

Of course it would be to your benefit if you are hoping to meet someone to dress up a bit. Not only to be more attractive, but because women who color their hair and wear makeup look more open to being approached and small talk than women who don’t.

I never said BlueEyedLady said only single women needed to keep up their appearance

The first posted you quoted from me was a post where I responded to lax16. Therefor, when you quoted my post, I then quoted your post because I was explaining why I was offended at lax16’s response. If that makes sense.

There is a woman at my office who is probably mid 50s with grey hair, She is a very approachable women. So smiling and being friendly IMO counts more than the colour of ones hair.

And I will state it again. I was NOT looking for advice on how to attract a man. I was asking about how women feel about these things

And you still did not show me the post where I said I wished I was married

Angie