Hand-Holding Explained

  • Thread starter Thread starter Reverent_Howler
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
This practice was already in place when I joined this parish.

During the Our Father the ENTIRE congregation joins hands. If you are at the end of the row and there is no one within reach you raise your hand in the Orans position. EVERYONE participate, to the point where a chain is led up to the altar where the parishioners join hands with the altar boys and they join hands with the priest.

It has been explained to me that they do this as a show of unity - as if showing up to Mass and praying together wasn’t ENOUGH of a sign of unity.

The Orans position prayer is just a result of confusion. I think they think they’re supposed to pray like that because they see the priest do it.

I don’t question it too much. I try not to participate when I can because it just feels so… extra.
 
somecanadian said:
During the Our Father the ENTIRE congregation joins hands.
Click to expand...
That is the way it was done in the parish where we live now, when we first moved here a few years ago. It was the way the pastor wanted it done at the time. Earlier this year a new pastor arrived to take over the parish, and the rule has changed. Now nobody holds hands anymore, or only maybe in small family groups. The rest of us just go along with whatever the pastor tells us to do, which is okay by me.
 
In this parish every new pastor who arrives is informed of the tradition and bullied into it. I’ve watched their confusion and bewilderment when it happens. Haha.
 
Hand-holding is practiced and tolerated in some parishes, but was never specifically approved. It is 70s feel-good and offers absolutely nothing to deepen our individual offering of self to God during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Me? I am immune compromised and common colds last about three months.

No thank you!
 
For me, I was abused. I don’t like being touched in general but specifically not by strangers. The Sign of Peace is tolerable but the extended contact of this hand holding is quite the trial. I suck it up because I keep reminding myself if someone reaches for me and I flinch away I could hurt them and I don’t want that. But on the same hand I pray every Mass that they won’t reach for me.
 
I hold my hands in the classic praying hands position. What could be more reverent at that moment? It is a shame that hand-holding has not been expunged, especially in this age or rampant communicable disease.
 
For the average healthy adult, it’s more dangerous to touch a public entry door than shake someone’s hand.
 
CTBcin said:
(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

It appears I stand corrected, at least as far as tortuous battery is concerned.
Click to expand...
It appears we weren’t discussing torturous battery.

As an ex-cop, I can tell you a battery charge could indeed stand. You would NEVER tolerate someone forcefully grabbing your hand to hold it in, say, Target - so why in the world would church be OK? It would be battery in Target. Same thing.

Would it happen? No. But fishing for my hand when I’m not offering it is going to get the other person’s hand shoved away. I won’t acquiesce just because someone else wants me to.
 
Last edited:
This handholding is presumptuous and unnecessary. I fold my hands together over my breast, and if the person next to me taps me, trying to hold my hand (which unfortunately happens far too often), I give them a stern look whilst slowly shaking my head. They always get the message.
 
Do you find this alienates you from that person? My concern is that if I were to do the same my attempts to integrate into the community would be even more difficult as I would be seen as hostile or unfriendly.
 
somecanadian said:
Do you find this alienates you from that person? My concern is that if I were to do the same my attempts to integrate into the community would be even more difficult as I would be seen as hostile or unfriendly.
Click to expand...
I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but it is the truth. At Mass, I am concerned neither with the alienation of my fellow congregants nor with my integration into the ‘community’(whatever that may mean). Still less am I interested in whether the other faithful consider me hostile, indifferent or indeed whether they consider me at all. My entire focus at Mass is on Christ and the sacrifice. Any other consideration while I am there is a distraction, and thus to be disregarded.
 
somecanadian said:
Do you find this alienates you from that person? My concern is that if I were to do the same my attempts to integrate into the community would be even more difficult as I would be seen as hostile or unfriendly.
Click to expand...
Handholding isn’t a requirement. I fold my hands together as if in prayer- because I am.
 
Integration into the community just refers to a desire to form some kind of relationship with my fellow Catholics that goes beyond the shallow greetings we share at Mass. I guess coming from a Protestant community I just long for the days when the people in the pews weren’t just fellow worshipers but friends as well and I just haven’t been able to foster that sense of community yet.

I wish I had your strength! I wouldn’t be comfortable doing something that seems outwardly like a rejection.
 
Funny how when you wear a medical mask and cotton gloves to mass, many seem to assume that you are radioactive. Actually, they are, but often give it no thought.
 
somecanadian said:
I guess coming from a Protestant community I just long for the days when the people in the pews weren’t just fellow worshipers but friends as well and I just haven’t been able to foster that sense of community yet.
Click to expand...
I can understand your desire for a profound feeling of community. I suppose my viewpoint is informed by several elements, including my feeling that Mass is a solemn and reverent occasion which should remain undiluted by chasing after jolly fellowship and enforced camaraderie. There are also my natural tendency to solitude, my intense focus on Christ, and my lifelong indifference to other people’s opinions of me. I don’t say that I am a model for others to emulate (far from it!), simply that this is the way I am.
 
To be precise, that would be hand-holding during the liturgy.

Since the Church has declined since this innovation was introduced, you don’t suppose…
 
kill051 said:
I don’t mean this to sound harsh, but it is the truth. At Mass, I am concerned neither with the alienation of my fellow congregants nor with my integration into the ‘community
Click to expand...
It not only sounds harsh, but contrary to what we are called to be.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Click to expand...
Jesus left heaven for us, much further outside of his comfort zone than we are ever called to go.

If we look for ideas that came from Protestants, “me and Jesus got our own thing going” is as Protestant as it gets.
 
Last edited:
I propose the hand-holding during liturgy be preceded and followed by the washing of the hands. 😷
 
TheOldColonel said:
I propose the hand-holding during liturgy be preceded and followed by the washing of the hands. 😷
Click to expand...
Since I am geared up like an escapee from a medical laboratory (I am, actually), most avoid me like the plague - which they can transmit to me!

Perfectly fine, as prayer and good will do not require physical contact.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top