Has anybody else known a priest who objected to being called "Father"?

  • Thread starter Thread starter EmilyAlexandra
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Undoubtedly culture affects the perceptions and attitudes of everyone to everything.

Addition: My gut feeling is that this is also made evident here on the forum as it relates to the interaction between Catholic and non-Catholic posters. For me it has been interesting
 
Last edited:
I think a lot of priests just see it as similar to “Doctor” or “Professor” or “Officer” or “Judge” etc as being an honorific job title that doesn’t always require a name be hooked to it.
One of the useful things about “Father” is that it is versatile. A problem with addressing Protestant clergy, such as Anglicans, is that you only really have two choices: just use their first name, which may seem excessively familiar, or use their title followed by their surname, which may seem excessively formal. I remember having to email an Anglican clergyman, and it wasn’t obvious whether to begin, “Dear Simon”, which made it sound like we knew each other, or, “Dear Mr Ponsonby”, which sounds like a business letter. In fact, the only Anglican cleric you can safely address by his first name is a bishop, as it seems to be the norm these days just to say, “Archbishop Justin”, “Bishop Christopher”, etc (I don’t think anybody seriously uses “Your Grace” and “My Lord” these days).
“Good night, Jenkins”
Interesting. I always think it’s odd when I hear older British men addressing their oldest friends just by their surnames.
 
I knew a priest who went through a crisis of faith. I saw him after some years in a college bookstore, not knowing of his crisis of faith, I said “Hi father!” He yelled at me and pointed his finger at me saying, “don’t you ever call me father!” He is still a priest but I think he still struggles with his vocation.
 
Amazingly enough, the oh-so-bible-christian channel DayStar has allowed Fr. Cedric Pisegna (Passionist order) to preach on their show at least 2-3 times now. A small miracle there! As Marcus and Joni Lamb speak with Father, it is clear that they do not understand the beliefs of 1.5 billion Catholic and. Orthodox Christians. Also surprisingly, they call him Father.

Joni Lamb asked Father Pisegna if Catholics pray to Jesus, for example. We have a lot of work to do! He has also celebrated mass once or twice at EWTN that. I am aware of.

https://frcedric.org/?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1
 
Last edited:
Matthew 23:9

And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.
 
Why did Jesus explicitly instruct his followers not to call anyone “father”? Is it because he knew that many would be led astray by false teachers and this was his way of letting future believers know?
 
The other question is this, why has the Catholic Church ignored Mathew 23:9? They could have gone with “Brother” but they went with “father”, in direct opposition of Christ’s command. Why?
 
The three priests in my parish do not like being called Father and one even said “call no man father” when I said “hello Fr. Sean”. They’re ex-missionaries in their 70s now and probably old hippies so I just shrug my shoulders and leave them to it.

Out of respect for their wishes I call them by their first names when talking to them but I refer to them as Fr. “X” etc when talking to someone else about them.
 
Last edited:
You could have probably put those three replies into one but anyway.

Calling no man father is taken out of reference, there are plenty of places in the Bible where Father is used and not referring to God.

We are commanded to…
Honour thy Father and Mother.

St Paul somewhere (Romans?) refers to himself as a Father to his church.

Edit: Found it…
For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. (1 Corinthians 4:15)
 
Last edited:
I have never met a priest who loved to be exalted (if they do, they’ve forgotten why they are priests), however I think a lack of respect for priests undermines them, which is why I think they should also wear the collar.
 
We call my brother-in-law “Padre” 😀
In the UK and many Commonwealth countries, military chaplains are known as “Padre”. I don’t know whether that title is used in the US. Obviously in countries where Spanish, Portuguese, or Italian are spoken, it would not make sense for a padre to be specifically a military chaplain, as all priests are padres. In France, “Padre” is the official title for an army or air force chaplain (though not a naval chaplain), although I understand that they are normally known as “Père”. I wonder whether “Padre” is used for military chaplains elsewhere.
 
Why do you think Paul did ? Jesus also said call no one your master and call no one teacher.
Did Jesus mean it literally? I don’t think Paul understood it that way.
 
This is a bit of a specific question, so please don’t respond based just on the thread title!

The priest referred to in the title is a Catholic Benedictine monk and priest. Somebody addressed him as “Father”, as in, “Good morning, Father”, or, “Would you like a cup of tea, Father?” He said that he doesn’t like to be addressed as “Father” because it’s like being addressed as “Sir”. He said that he prefers to be called “Father David” or just “David” if some non-Catholics don’t like using the title “Father”
This is an interesting series of questions that takes me back to my youth, in part. I shall endeavour to answer, @EmilyAlexandra .

Speaking personally, I have never objected to being called “Father” even if, properly speaking, it is primarily used by English speaking people interacting with me. Those in other languages who know me would not use it to me or for me. Of all titles I have, it is the most simple and endearing. So, no, I would not object.

On the other hand, I have had non-Catholics uncomfortable at calling me Father and I am more than happy to accommodate that by a list of other options, ultimately culminating, simply, with my name. It is the name I was baptised with, the name I have been called all my life, and the name anyone in the hierarchy who is above me calls me. (Surely everyone here knows that my Bishop would not call me Father – except when we are in the presence of laity – but by my first name, because he outranks me.)

It has been my experience that there are Catholics from parts of the Commonwealth who can overdo the use of "Father’ to the point it becomes grating. Every sentence ends with Father. Hello Father. Good to see you Father. Have you been well Father? It becomes tedious. Like the person in Britain who ends every sentence with “isn’t it?” It can be overdone. I have the sense it involved people who had been sent to boarding school and it became ingrained. Perhaps that was this monks experience, like mine.
 
continued

In my day, the standard convention was Father “Last name” was a secular priest and Father “First name” was used for a Religious, who had “left the world” and received a new name to mark becoming a Religious. That convention is less applicable because of many issues such as a greater desire for informality and the reality that Religious do not change their name in Religious life to the same extent nor do they disassociate from their families and their life in the world to the same degree as they once did.

The use of Dom for Benedictine Monks and Dame for Benedictine Choir Nuns is more a custom of the English Congregation than it is with other Congregations of the Benedictine Confederation. The Trappists, for another example, habitually use Dom now only for the Father Abbot of the monastery. As with my own title, it is normally paired with the holder’s name and using it apart from the name should be sparing. Looking to the nuns, for a change, the same applies. Yes, one could say “Good Morning, Dame” or “Yes, Dame”…but calling out “Dame! Dame!” instead of “Dame Catherine! Dame Catherine!” would be looked at askance. I’ve had to explain that more than once here with Americans who would use my title as if it were an American first name…which it is decidedly not.

I have known – I dare so most clerics have known – prelates (honorary or actual) who become a bit too attached to their honorifics and being called Excellency or Your Grace. Perhaps that is what your monk is reacting to with regard to his title and where it derives from. To tell the truth, many English speaking people do not know the origin of “Monsignor” although for Roman language speakers, we of course know.

What can more can I say? If he is a priest for 60 years…well many of us can pick up a few idiosyncrasies across the decades, often derived from some unpleasant experience(s) and they can take on a significance that is out of proportion, because of memories they conjure. I would simply look on it as an eccentricity to be excused in someone of advanced years.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top