Has anyone you know ever questioned why someone hasn't received Holy Communion?

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hannajomar said:
When people use a statement or question that is leading to gossip, I’ve started saying, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask him?” Then they usually chuckle awkwardly and then begin backtracking, They are well aware that it would be rude to ask the person, but have no problem speculating behind their back. “Well, I didn’t mean anything by it…” yada, yada, yada. Then, they usually don’t gossip to me anymore, because I take all the fun out of it.
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Excellent response.
 
Once I didn’t receive at a weekday Mass. I didn’t really think anyone would care, but I was pretty obvious as there were fewer than 20 people in a small side chapel and I was the only one not receiving.

After Mass, a guy I knew only by sight came up to me and congratulated me on my bravery. He said “I don’t know why you didn’t receive today, but it’s nice to see someone have a respect for the Eucharist and not go up even though you knew everyone would see you.”

If anyone had had the cheek to come up to me and comment in a negative way, they might have got fairly short shrift, but I didn’t know what to say to this!

I agree with previous posters, btw, about just making it clear that you won’t engage in gossip and possibly that there are plenty of reasons why someone might not receive. It sounds like you handled it fine.
 
I would say to such people, “why are you keeping a score card durring mass? Aren’t you supposed to be praying in thanksgiving durring communion?”.
I had someone approach me after mass one time and told me I was not supposed to chew the host.
CatholicZ09 said:
I recall that one time while serving Mass, the lector didn’t go up to receive the Eucharist. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I just thought that maybe he needs to work something out with God, go to confession, etc. Well, I noticed that it triggered a lot of glares from certain people in the church, which I thought was kind of rude/judgmental because it’s really none of anyone’s business besides the said person. Well, after Mass it became the topic of discussion at breakfast as to what he did to not receive the Eucharist, and it made me feel really awkward because it’s none of our business as to why some things happen the way they do. How would you respond to someone who questions why someone didn’t receive the Eucharist?

Oh, and I’m not saying that the people questioning it are bad people; they are really nice people and live the faith really well, but this caught me by surprise.
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I do not think the idea of the question is that out of sorts. Let me tell you why…

500-1000 people in mass and 95 percent or more go to communion.

Confession is for 1 hour each week and only a handful of people at confession.

I currently have a decent confession life and I know the gift I receive each and every time make it to confession.

I use the people at that do not go to communion in a few ways in my prayer life… ( not those people, people over all)
  1. If they are afraid to make it confession that they will find the courage to go.
  2. If there are not catholic and need a conversion experience and (RCIA) and that is gods plan that they will find it.
I lose tract that other need prayers some days, realizing not everyone receives the gift I can makes me sad.

Yes as I are preceding to receive the body and blood of christ, I am not thinking why is that people not going. I do think about it when I prayer life, I think their were people this past Sunday that were not able to receive the gift that I was, and I hope someday soon they can also.
 
odile53 said:
Oh, crud. Sunday, on the way to Mass, I drank a cold, twelve hour old cup of coffee that was sitting in the console, and finished it as I pulled in the church parking lot (the coffee in question had creamer in it, as well as some chocolate bit things, so I guess it would count as “food.”)

I wasn’t thinking, being half awake, and the coffee did much to smooth over the snowy commute to church. Since Mass lasts about fifty minutes, I did not achieve the one hour pre-Eucharistic fast, and so stayed in my pew.
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Well, as a coffee lover I think that consuming a cup of cold, stale coffee is a sacrilege and a mortal sin in itself 😃

So even if you did respect the pre-communion fast you’d still have to confess before receiving 😛

Just kidding of course, once in a while these threads need a little levity.
 
OraLabora said:
Well, as a coffee lover I think that consuming a cup of cold, stale coffee is a sacrilege and a mortal sin in itself 😃

So even if you did respect the pre-communion fast you’d still have to confess before receiving 😛

Just kidding of course, once in a while these threads need a little levity.
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LOL and she even seemed to ENJOY it, which doubles the sin.

:rotfl::rotfl:
 
My answer to the people at breakfast probably would have been something really rude like “Wow, you really need to get a life!” And then I would need to right in line for confession with them. :o
 
Batfink said:
After Mass, a guy I knew only by sight came up to me and congratulated me on my bravery. He said “I don’t know why you didn’t receive today, but it’s nice to see someone have a respect for the Eucharist and not go up even though you knew everyone would see you.”

.
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I would have slugged him (except I can’t do that anymore with my arthritis). The comment is just as inappropriate and judgmental, or even more so, when cloaked in apparent good humor.
 
puzzleannie said:
I would have slugged him (except I can’t do that anymore with my arthritis). The comment is just as inappropriate and judgmental, or even more so, when cloaked in apparent good humor.
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I would have given him a really dirty look as if to say “what the makes you think it’s appropriate to comment on whether or not I went up for communion”

Of course then I too would have to hit the confessional after that 😛
 
I once had a very nice old lady come up to me after a daily Mass and, very kindly, point to the Act of Contrition printed on the back of the Missalette and say, “All you have to do is say this, and then you can receive Communion.”

I just smiled and said “Thank you,” then spent the rest of the day contemplating all the ways that was sooo wrong. 😊
 
AF_Fugue said:
I once had a very nice old lady come up to me after a daily Mass and, very kindly, point to the Act of Contrition printed on the back of the Missalette and say, “All you have to do is say this, and then you can receive Communion.”

I just smiled and said “Thank you,” then spent the rest of the day contemplating all the ways that was sooo wrong. 😊
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sigh

It’s discouraging to read this. For all the times I’ve told my Protestant friends nobody will wonder or even notice when they don’t receive…now I wonder how many speculated.

For the times I haven’t gone…

There was a time in my life when I was chronically ill. I had all I could do to make it to Mass some days, and I was way to sick to walk up to receive Eucharist. I wonder now if I was a source of gossip.

I’m just amazed and sad at these stories.
 
Incomplete said:
sigh

It’s discouraging to read this. For all the times I’ve told my Protestant friends nobody will wonder or even notice when they don’t receive…now I wonder how many speculated.

For the times I haven’t gone…

There was a time in my life when I was chronically ill. I had all I could do to make it to Mass some days, and I was way to sick to walk up to receive Eucharist. I wonder now if I was a source of gossip.

I’m just amazed and sad at these stories.
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Don’t be too sad! I think these stories might be atypical. As I said I have experienced no condemnation, stares, comments or anything and I frequently don’t go up.

I think this phenomenon could also be dependent on the size of the congregation and the disposition of the congregation in question. For example, perhaps a smaller congregation would be more prone to comments and questions or wonderings… maybe?

I don’t think most people care who’s going up and who isn’t. I really don’t.
 
No, I’ve never questioned. It’s none of my business, nor do I care. As a cantor, though, and sometimes cantoring 3 or 4 masses a weekend, I have sometimes wondered if people assumed the worse of me because they saw that I didn’t receive. I’ve heard the gossip from others before with other people. Most of the time, the reason why I don’t receive is because I’m doing a lot of masses and had already received at a previous mass, but other times it was because I forgot to fast or had to break my fast, especially since I’ve been pregnant and have felt like fainting.
 
I’ve often wondered when the organist gets to receive communion: they’re usually occupied at that point during the Mass…
 
DexUK said:
I’ve often wondered when the organist gets to receive communion: they’re usually occupied at that point during the Mass…
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The organist should receive after everyone has received. Usually she receives right after the music stops… but it will depend on whether she wants to receive or not…
 
It is absolutely nobody’s business, and it is at least some kind of sin for people to be judging the other person, either inwardly or outwardly.

I, for example, went to mass today but didn’t receive communion because I had been drinking coffee too close to mass time, and didn’t keep the fast.
 
CatholicZ09 said:
I just wanted to add in that I had to physically walk past the lector as we were going to Communion, and I more than likely wouldn’t have noticed if I was sitting in the pew. Typically I’m more concentrated on whom I am receiving rather than who is receiving.
I could care less. I just don’t know what was so interesting about it. I actually admired his taking the sacrament seriously. Many receive unworthily; it’s nice to see someone take the initiative and not receive if they are not in a state of grace. This makes me feel really awkward if I do something to make me unworthy to receive. I guess then I could say, “Wow, you’re very observant, aren’t you?” 😉
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Your making a whole bunch of assumptions here that no one really has any right to make.

When someone does not go up to receive the Eucharist it is just that, they do not go up to receive the Eucharist, period.

No one has any right to assume anything, not even that they are taking the sacrament seriously.

We do not know why they do not go nor do we have any right to know why they do not go nor do we have any right to make any assumptions as to why to do not go.

As human beings thoughts might jump into our minds about this but we can not entertain those thoughts. To do so is uncharitable and I would say that this is something that should be taken up in the confessional.

There are people who chose not to receive out of devotion.

Frequent communion is a recommendation of the Church, it is in no way a requirement. This being so no one has any right to think anything of any one who chooses not to receive.
 
DexUK said:
I’ve often wondered when the organist gets to receive communion: they’re usually occupied at that point during the Mass…
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Some organists (and choir members) aren’t even Catholic.
 
Never … not once … its never even crossed my mind to wonder … can’t imagine anyone else wondering either …

And I will say this - as my spouse and I worked our way back into the church - fully – a period of nearly two years …

Two years - attending every Sunday and Holy day … the occasional Daily Mass … without receiving …😦

Not once did anyone ever look askance at us … nor were they quizzical … nor did they treat us as if we had the plague …

After receiving Reconciliation, having our marriage blessed and again joining the ranks of fully initiated practicing Catholics … we received … a short time later - in conversation - we mentioned how wonderful it was to be able to come to and receive the Eucharist … a couple was saw every Sunday at Mass told us they never even realized that we failed to receive … and they were joyous 😃 with us - Welcoming … 👍

AND NOTE TO SELF: There are many reasons besides serious sin that could keep a person from receiving … like not observing the one hour fast, having celiacs and a cold [the one prevents receiving the Host, the other the Cup - that is if you care about those who might come after you] … and even if not in a state of serious sin - a person may just feel as if they are not in the correct frame of mind … perhaps they are required to attend another Mass or may have already attended Mass … and this is a second or third Mass for that weekend **
 
I don’t think the majority of Catholics notice, whether it’s a small church or a big church. Also, there are probably some people who are just noticing sorts of people, but who don’t speculate. So it’s sad that some people would not just notice, but butt in.
 
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